Goal-oriented

Calling up an ex is never a good idea

Empty subway station in NYC

Gave my ex a ring the other day, which was painful.

Then she picked up – that was excruciating.

But it did make me realize that I’m actually enjoying being single. It’s been just under three months now (I’ve stopped counting so I’m not sure).

At the very least, I wash a lot less clothes and dishes.

Since this is also the first time I’m not sharing a kitchen with someone in over a decade, I forgot the simple pleasure of the whole drinking out of the carton experience in front of the fridge.

I also have something I never had in 11 years of NYC living – closet space.

If only I could find that damn blue sweater I love.

I’ve got to travel upstate this week (again) but when I come back, I think I’m going to buy the Sunday NY Times, a huge cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut and then lie down in the middle of the room and make a royal mess.

It’s always good to have goals.

Location: @6:30, showing off the ‘hood.
Mood: Pensive
Music: Demain, le crime en vacances, va se croire tout permis
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Cough, hack, cough

Evidently, you can write an entire story in six words

tom otterness life underground

I’m sick.

My brother sent me the following to keep me entertained – they’re six word stories:
http://wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/sixwords.html

My favorite is by Margaret Atwood: “Longed for him. Got him. Shit.”

Halloween’s coming up – it’ll actually be my first Halloween as a single guy since…well a long damn time.

S__t

Location: Propped up in bed/futon watching CSI
Mood: Sick
Music: won’t get fooled again
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Catching a cab uptown

Met this young lady out-and-about and said exactly the wrong things

Indie band playing in Brooklyn

Saturday night, I went out to see a band play in Brooklyn, which ended up being hella fun. Course, had to up and ruin the night for myself.

Everything was going fine until we hopped a cab back into the City and ended up at a pizza joint downtown. I sitting to the side and when this very attractive blond comes in and sits down next to me. I’m not sure how we started talking but I find out that she’s from Florida, works with on a network program and is recently divorced. Somehow got her to also trade driver’s licenses with me and I realize that she’s six years younger than me. And divorced! Crazy.

We’re chatting a bit more and then she tells me that she’s going to eat more pizza. Scoff and tell her that women always think they can eat a lot but they never can, to which she tells me, “I can eat you under the table.” She goes and gets another slice and it’s just then my friends decide to leave. When she gets back, I’ve got my jacket on. Here’s the rest of the conversation:

Her: Oh, you’re leaving?
Me: Yeah, my friends are going.
Her: Do you go everywhere your friends go?
Me (wait for it): Well, we’re catching a cab uptown so, yes.

*sigh*

Did take down her number and I’m debating if it’s worth calling her at this point.

Oh who am I kidding – I’m calling…

20061024 UPDATE – Check that; I’ve lost her number.

I’m my own worst enemy.

Location: @8:15 – half breath, sight, pull
Mood: Silly
Music: the colors mix together to grey and it breaks her heart
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Great and Terrible

Got some great and terrible news today; that’s just how life is I suppose

Picture of the church in Flushing, NY

Today was a pretty exciting day – mainly because Rain and I had our first batch of auditions and two people that I brought absolutely nailed the parts.

Also got a piece of horrific news today too but I suppose I’ll start with the good and end with the bad.

With the auditions, Rain’s group was good and there was some talent there but the last two people that came in were spot on. The only problem was that they are both auditioning for the same role. We’re contemplating writing a part just for one of them so that we can use them both somehow. I spoke with Rain afterward and we’re both beyond jazzed with how everything is coming together. Freaking exciting…

Drove Tony and Francis out to Queens because I needed to pick something up from Queens. When I arrived, noticed a friend left me a voicemail. He told me that a good friend of ours just found out this morning that he has a brain tumor! Couldn’t believe it. He just got married a month ago and I just saw him yesterday. It was quite a shock and very sad. I’m worried about him and his new bride.

I’ll say a prayer for them tonight and hope for the best.

Location: @10:45 – on the LIE
Mood: Thoughtful
Music: running to the edge of time, the moon will keep us company
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Changes

Getting your ex off your cell / mobile phone plan is a lot like a divorce

Tom Otterness, Life Underground sculpture

Went out with some friends the other night and I met a girl who recognized me from years ago. She’s 24 years old and an art director now but it turns out that she went to the same church as No. 3. Moreover, some 10 years ago, she was in my apartment, when I was 23 and No 3. was 22, and had a “sleep-over/retreat” of some sort. Vaguely remember it. She was 14 at the time. Felt old.

So very old.

My friend signed his divorce papers yesterday; it’s sad because I was part of his wedding and I thought it would last. It actually the third wedding that I was part of that ended in divorce. I spoke to him today and he said he was fine (he sounded fine) but it was still sad to hear. His best friend dropped me a line about the situation too; it was good to hear from him. It’s good having friends that worry about you.

Speaking of which, my ex contacted me this week. It was the first contact we’ve had with each other for two months. Nothing angry or kind or anything. Just business. She wanted to tell me that my health insurance would run out at the end of this month (I’m currently on her plan) and she would like me to spin off her mobile phone (she’s currently on my plan).

Hadn’t thought about it or her for a bit. Well, that’s not entirely true. Try not to think about it or her.

Dunno…for me, it’s a little like signing divorce papers.

How disappointing.

Location: @ 3:00 – having a burger on Grand Street
Mood: disappointed
Music: Hol fuer dich den Stern vom Himmel
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Marian Fisher

I was reading this article about the Amish girls that were killed the other day. The first to die was a 13-year old named Marian Fisher who asked “Shoot me first.” Her younger sister Barbie then said “Shoot me second.” Barbie survived. The thing is that that these kids never watched TV nor movies – they didn’t learn to be brave by why some actor taught them. They just were brave.

It’s hard being a Christian in the city – I admit, enjoy my sinful life a bit more than I should. But these are people who are at peace, even when they’re not.

It’s also hard having faith and being brave. I’m 20 years older than that girl was and half as brave (if that).

Maybe I just need a little more faith.

Location: @ 2:something – snapping this pic
Mood: Hopeful
Music: take these lies and make them true somehow
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10/11

(c) Peter Foley/European Pressphoto Agency

I had a bit of a mind warp today.

Today the Yankee’s pitcher Cory Lidle slammed a plane into the side of a building in the Upper East Side. I remembered all of 9/11 again. I still can’t believe it was five years ago. Today was 10/11 so it was freaky. Poor guy just wanted to fly.

I can relate.

Rain doesn’t have a TV so he called me for details. I also called my family – I don’t know, just because…

I’m always surprised at how I’m still surprised by anything anymore.

11:57:36 PM
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Yeah, that’s all

When you’re newly single, your grocery shopping changes

The sun setting this past weekend at a much nicer latitude than where I am right now.

Rain Noe and I are working on a script for a series that we’ve got in mind for the Internet and we had a table reading on Friday. I wasn’t used to the script so we went through it again tonight and I’m more comfortable with it. It feels good to work on things that aren’t money or relationship related – something I’ve not had a chance to do in a while.

A friend of mine was in town on Saturday so we went out to a club – there was some interesting entertainment there so I recorded it and put it up in the “Video” section.

Sunday I was out in Queens and then back in the city for church. Church was fine but on the way out I thought about No. 6. It was weird because I’d been so busy these days that I hadn’t thought about anything but my projects. I thought of her because I would always call her on the way home to ask if she wanted anything from the supermarket.

I ducked in anyway to pick up some things for myself and ran into the manager whom I’m friendly with. He said hello and, noticing the small amount of food I was buying, asked, “That’s all?”

“Yeah,” I said, “that’s all.”

Location: @11PM – 1 train Canal Street Station
Mood: Okay
Music: Wo yuan yi wei ni
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Train on Time

Both and I and the subways have changed – hopefully for the better

The N train at 3AM with most passengers sleeping – not that I’m jealous.

I remember that I used to take the train to and from high school – it took me an hour-and-a-half each way. Back then, the trains were covered in graffiti and filled with older people working their way through life.

Now the graffiti is gone and I’m one of the older people working his way through life. At least I dress better now.

I think.

Location: Back in NYC
Mood: drained
Music: it might sound strange but I wish it would rain
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What are the chances?

Sometimes you keep running into the same people

Last night I finally managed to get seven hours of sleep again. I felt like a different person again after I woke up.

I had lunch at a really classy and cool, old school bar. A bunch of old men were chatting it up with me and I was there for almost two hours. It was weird because the last hour was my giving them a history lesson on the rise of America as a superpower after WWII and how we made English replace French as the international language of business – I have no idea how the topic even started. They ended up buying my lunch (which made me regret that I didn’t order more than just a diet coke and salad). 🙂

I forgot to mention that I saw that girl that I met at Ricky’s rooftop party last week in the oddest of places. I was exiting my airplane and she was waiting in line to get in. The weirdest thing. I never met her before two weeks ago, she’s lived right around me for three years and I see her in an airport on a Thursday getting into the plane I just got off of. What are the chances? I didn’t realize it was her until a few minutes after I walked by her and it dawned on me who she was – I had that “I think I know that girl” feeling when I saw first saw her after I left the plane but I was too tired to process quickly enough. I figured it would be too strange if I went back and said “hello” so I just let it be.

Heading back home later this week and I’m sure I’ll be bending time again this weekend.

I’ve become a charmer of old men.

Eh, at least the food’s paid for.

Location: Another (but better) hotel upstate
Mood: Thoughtful
Music: That’s why I believe it is too late for anyone to believe
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