Mighty Forces in a Golden Cup

Basil King once said, Be bold – and mighty forces will come to your aid. I think this is true. Your friends, your family, yourself. It all comes together, somehow. Not perfectly, but it does.

It’s been 16 months since I became single. Seven months since the car accident. Three months since the theft. And I’m still here.

I drink a little more, I drive a little less and my clothes are exactly the same. But I’m still here.

Location: well, my mind’s elsewhere
Mood: hopeful
Music: I thought it out this very day. Noon upon the clock
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9 to 6 or 6 to 9 / 25 or 6 to 4

I’m on the wrong side of 6AM when I stick my key in my door and turn to unlock it. I’m wondering what happened this weekend.

Half-an-hour earlier, I’m walking alone in the snow to the West Side Highway to catch a cab home.

An hour earlier, I’m in Guest House with Gio and Paul both gaming the same hottie. Drama. I’m too old for drama. As usual Gio floated us in and gets us a table with a bottle of vodka. Not my poison but it’s comped so I take it. I chat up a group of lovely Irish actresses and girl from Kentucky that’s a great dancer.

Two hours earlier, I’m in Sway being told by a girlie from Holland that I should meet her again in the hidden club at the Village. Nah.

Four hours earlier, I’m with “Clara” celebrating her birthday at Sugar. I tell her to text all my friends: Logan’s all up in my grill – where are you guys? thinking they’ll come save her. Nope.

Six hours earlier, I run into an old ghost from my club days. I tell him I’m a Christian and don’t run hustle or sweatboxes any more. I don’t think he believed me. He woulda never had believed I got grifted.

Seven hours earlier, I’m speaking crappy German and Chinese to Benlbr at The Back Room where John McEnroe slipped past me. Ben and I are on our own tight schedules but it’s good to meet up.

Eight hours earlier, I’m stepping into Bar 151 with Paul to see Kung, the Grey-Eyed Girl and Randi. Two girls smile at me but I demur to saying hello. I’m on a schedule.

I’m on the wrong side of 9PM when I stick my key in my door and turn to lock it. I’m wondering what’ll happen this weekend.

Location: two hours ago, having dinner on Columbus
Mood: restless
Music: Searching for something to say; Waiting for the break of day

Cornell

Location: guess
Mood: nostalgic
Music: I feel like I just got home and I feel like…I’m home

Click the music link because you can download the song for free. You’ll thank me later.

———-

I’m in Cornell right now; was working in the library until just before. Spent the day running about causa work. I followed my GPS to get here so it took me on a road I never took before. I was disappointed because I didn’t see it rise up like it always does.

I ate in the food hall and felt very, very old. Then I took a long walk to the main campus. The campus was pretty much completely empty because it was late and hella cold. It was weird because I was always out by myself late at night because of the insomnia so, on the one hand, it looked like it always did to me; on the other – they built this monstrosity in the middle of my campus.

Guess, you can’t go home again. More to tell but I’m sorting.

I really I don’t think I’m seeing the green-eyed Italian lawyer until March and I completely randomly thought of the curly-haired girl today because she went to school near here. But I’m seeing L tonight for dinner if I can make it back in time. I’ve not seen her in months either.

My timing’s never right but the Venn Diagrams I draw make up for it somewhat.

Well, that’s weird…

The time I almost electrocute myself…twice

Well, that’s weird, I thought as I peered into my aquarium, where’re all the fish? I looked closer and they were all floating. That’s not good. Interestingly, little bubbles were all over my plants – so many in fact, that one was freed from the gravel and floated up to the top.

Been busy and away a lot, but I had an electronic feeder so they should have been fine. Sighing, I grabbed the net and began to reach into the tank to fish soma the poor buggers out when: ZZZZAP!!!!

I got a nasty, nasty shock and jumped back. I thought, That can’t be. So I did what any red-blooded guy would do: I did it again

BAM! Another shock.

Dammit. The heater had fallen into the water and electrocuted all my fish.

Wish I could draw sometimes, because I think my life would make a good cartoon. (I actually did just that! I posted about my heater mishap on www.smartlyheated.com with a few illustrations.)

———-

Should be here until Friday for some work. I went to college there a long time ago. I’m looking forward to pigging out at the food hall – because, deep-down, I’m a fatty-fat-fat.

Location: 20:47 yest, exiting the subway
Mood: working
Music: oooh I really liked you, must have been your attitude
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Outta Time

Playing Heroes

So I saw the green-eyed Italian attorney again this past weekend – three months after our first date. That’s how busy we’ve both been. Totally last minute. We met up at a Chelsea wine bar that had the best aged rum and even had a slice of orange. Although it wasn’t seven hours, we did spend a good amount of time together.

Her: You don’t have my email address? You could have just googled me.
Me: (pointing at self) Not a stalker.

The last time I saw her, she told me she loved Heroes and I ended up inhaling all the episodes last month in a bout of insomnia.

Her: I’d like to have the power of the Suggestion Girl
Me: Hmm, I’d like the power of Adam and the Cheerleader where they heal super-quick. You could live forever.
Her: But wouldn’t you be lonely?
Me: (thinking, then nodding)

I told her that 15 years ago, I graduated from college and that 15 years from now, I’ll be 50. Her eyes got so big that I laughed.

Guess I’ll see her again in March.

———-

Vince Lombardi once said, We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time. Given a long enough time-line, I think I can make it.

I’m hoping I’ll have enough time.

Location: 02:00 yest, hopping a train in Chelsea
Mood: mellow
Music: Whatever’s out there waiting for me I’m going to face it willingly

You and I know the reason why / Her

Location: 20:00 yest, caught in the rain
Mood: slightly less sick
Music: We’d spend our days travelin’

I fell in and out of imaginary love driving past 66th Street and Fifth Avenue. She was wearing jeans with a black hat, waiting for the light to change. She looked at me and we locked eyes. Just a moment really, but it seemed longer.

I dunno why, but I thew her a wink and she burst out laughing. So she blew me a kiss and waved as she crossed the street. I laughed by myself in my car. For a moment I thought about calling out to her but then I figured, why ruin a perfectly good moment?

The light changed anyway, as it always does so she and I blended back into the 8.2. Maybe it was her again – I still have her heart.

It’s finally Friday. I’m still sick but I think I’m good enough to have some red rum and daydream about Her and what might’ve been.

Postcards and Peanut Butter

Location: 9:00 yest, the subway platform, waiting
Mood: yep, still sick
Music: I’ll get over you, I know I will

I think Life’s talking to me again. The Grey-Eyed Girl and Berlingirl told me I should listen. I’m trying.

I blog less these days so it doesn’t become a daily bitch-fest (Let’s see what minor disaster befell Logan today).

From 1994 to 2001, I pretty much disappeared. I made a sick amount of money, worked out constantly, traveled everywhere and wrote like you couldn’t believe – like Ted Kaczynski on crack. Somewhere between page 1 and 972, I squeezed in law school, a fairly successful nightclub business, a few published works and 3.5 relationships.

Through it all, my family was there, but I expected that. But I was a bit surprised that my friends always were too. There’s this old joke that you have friends because you can’t pick your family. I can see that.

I bring this all up because some college buddies called me outta blue last week to check up on me. Bryson also stopped by last night to buy me dinner. And The Laura, Betts, someone that doesn’t want to be mentioned and Daiseefut all recently sent me postcards.

Plus, my church was talking about Job again, the ‘rents are strangely insightful and I’m having these deep philosophical discussions in the weirdest joints. Odder still, two people I’ve not seen in at least 14 years randomly reached out to me; one today when I was eating my dinner of peanut butter outta the jar with a metal spoon. I was so surprised, I dropped the spoon.

So yeah, I think Life’s telling me something and, like I said, I’m trying to listen.

I’m trying awfully hard.

Recent Conversations

Nightlife Conversations in New York City

(c) Victor Kung

Her: What do you do again?
Me: Ruthless businessman.
Her: Me too! Except…I’m a girl.

———-

Her: So I’m intrigued about this blog of yours. Do the women know you write about them?
Me: Only the ones that stay.

———-

Me: I got a camera. What’d you get for Christmas?
Her: My parents got me a Glock 23. It’s beautiful!
Me: (pause) You don’t…you don’t have it on you, do you?
Her: I wish!
Me: I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m a little turned on right now.

———-

Me: I got a camera. What’d you get for Christmas?
Her: Eh, the usual. Oh! Alicia got me a bag of coke. That was awesome.
Me: I really have to record my conversations with you.
Her: Well, it wasn’t all for me, we shared it.

———-

Employee: Why do you need her contact information?
Me: I might need it.
Employee: You don’t need it.
Me: I might need it.
Employee: I’m telling you, you don’t need it.
Female supplier: (sitting uncomfortably then laughing): Here, I’ll write it down.
Me: (grinning) Thanks – you never know, I might need it.
Employee: (rolling eyes) Sheyah. I’m taking a break now.

———-

Watching Planet Earth with Cain:

Narrator: …few signs of life and a desolate environment, there’s little activity for months at a time.
Cain: Much like Logan’s bedroom.
Me: I hate you.

Location: 3:00 yest, having a gyro on Broadway & 78th
Mood: still @#$@# sick
Music: had to make it happen They never thought that I would make it

Life – Real and otherwise

Location: 21:00 yest, turning onto Northern Blvd.
Mood: sick
Music: I’ve fallen from my nest so high above Help me fly I am too afraid try

So either my parents are reading my blog, someone’s telling them about it, or they’re eerily perceptive. I’ve been crashing with them when I get out past 21:30.

Him: Sit down, I wanna write you something. (writes) This is from Mencius. Before Life decides to give greatness onto someone, she’ll test them first – she’ll make them suffer. It’s suffering that gives you depth and wisdom.
Me: Thanks but…why’re you telling me this now?

Him: (shrugging) You got home so late. I thought you should know.

Her: Do you want some rum?

Me: (shocked) What?

Her: I like rum. I’ve got the spiced kind for some rum cakes and one from Brazil. Do you like rum?

Me: (long pause) A little.

Really, really weird.

———-

I wonder if you and I’d get along in real life.

I’m told I’m funny and smell nice in RL; I’m also told I get moody right quick and disappear for months – years, sometimes. But I’d call or write – or at least wonder how you were. Honest.

It’s probably better you just come to this blog and find out what I’m up to, shug, and go, Eh, about the same.

Speaking of the same, I’m sick again. Send soup?

You don’t have

The Doc said I don’t have cancer

Doctor: You don’t have cancer. It’s a cyst, non-cancerous and it won’t become cancerous
Me: (sighing with relief) You have no idea how good it is to hear that.
Doctor: (laughing) I have some idea. Wear a cup when you work out and briefs in general.
Me: Who knew that I could have taken away somea this recent stress by wearing tighty-whities?

I almost wept when he said I didn’t have cancer. No lie. Score one for me. The only person I told in the whole world besides the docs was my brother. Secrets are lonely things.

For the male readers of this blog, you should know that: Although rare, testicular cancer is the most common form of cancer in men between the ages of 20 and 34.2. Take that under advisement.

It only took five visits, three months, three doctors, three urine tests, two blood tests and one ultra-sound to find out. To celebrate, I made myself a burger on whole wheat. No ketchup, mayo.

I’m sick with a cold but that I can handle. Sorry for the scare; I was up all night worrying.

Crazy right? Just madness…

Location: 7:20, sitting next to a pretty girl
Mood: sick
Music: All my friends say that of course it’s gonna get better