Can you hold this for me?

Location: my black chair in my pad
Mood: awake
Music: I know I’ve got to let it go and just enjoy the show

It appears that the weekend life of a reforming womanizer’s pretty boring and may involve: leaving parties at 12:30, picking up women for friends, cleaning the house and eating one’s weight in blueberries. Alla which are far more entertaining with a Dark ‘n Stormy.

Told you before that I’ve done some awful things in my life. Most I can’t talk about. But one thing I’m deeply ashamed of is the number of times someone gave me their heart and essentially said, Here, can you hold this for me? And take carea it, willya?

And I nod and immediately turn around, stomp the crap outta it and hand it back a wreck. It’s a jerk thing to do. And I did it way too often in my 20s.

Course, someone did it to me two years ago and nuthin realigns your thinking faster than eating the stuff you make someone else eat, yeah?

That’s why I keep thinking of Caligirl and if she’s right. What if I really do screw everything up so I don’t have to go through it again? Sir Edmond Hilary once said that, It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.

It’s not easy, trying to be a better than you once were.

YASYCTAI: Get your shoes shined. They’ll last longer and you’ll look better. Hurry, before it’s winter. (10 mins/1 pt)

4 thoughts on “Can you hold this for me?”

  1. hm. on a another note(?) i spent most of my 20's thinking "don't give me your heart.. really, please don't give it to me…" 😛 anyways hope you found my xanga 🙂 you have to sort through the everyday junk to find the gems. 🙂

  2. I'm not sure I can be better than I was when I was young, stupid and a lot more niave. But at the same time, I don't think you can compare the times, because things happen, and you change. As you change what's good then isn't good now and vice versa.It's pretty much what I have to tell myself to stop myself from going crazy.

  3. YM – Saw your xanga and will comment – just so busy! But I will.Alana – Always good seeing you here, and yes, it's hard to change but we try, don't we?

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