Me: (turning to face him) I gotta punch him.
Went to have dinner to celebrate my buddy’s 30th. On the way there, this guy said something mildly racist – which I don’t actually ever hear any more in this day and age. Felt a strong urge to do the fella grave bodily injury and said as much but then I was reminded that I’m a 37 year-old lawyer fulla injuries. So I decided to get to the party and focus on some pernil asado, which was probably a better choice.
This’s all comedic cause I’m about the opposite of pugilistic. Unless you step up to my girl. Or if you’re a side of delicious Cuban roast pork.
At which point, I’d watch myself.
Wrestling coach: (in middle of class) Wait, you never saw Alien?
Me: No. (pause) Scary movies scare me.
Coach: (shakes and drops forehead into hand)