Champagne: Breakfast of Champions
Him: Hey, could you do me a big favor and order me some sandwiches? Like 10?
Woke up the next morning to an email asking if someone could pick up food for the bridesmaids that had been there since 9AM – the fellas didn’t have to be there until noon.
Women get the short end of the stick in weddings.
So I dashed out and ran around to a few different places.
Me: Do you have any sandwiches right now?
Him: Sandwiches? None fresh, we’ll have to make them. How many you need?
Me: A dozen?
Him: A dozen?! Now?! We’re still serving breakfast!
Eventually, ended up finding a place that could do it, grabbed them, and met up with the groom. We had to catch a ferry so we had to run to make it. And with me hauling alla those grinders.
Me: (breathlessly) I didn’t know there would be an athletic component to your wedding.
Him: Me neither.
The reason why we had to get there so early was because there were hours of pictures that needed to be taken, none of which I have here.
Once we got there, my predecessor served the breakfast of champions: champagne.
After that, it was just hours of picture taking. As an odd coincidence, one of the bridesmaids was the daughter of my dentist, whom I’d known since she was a baby.
Her: Let me show you a picture of my baby!
Me: You’re a mom? Get outta here!
The world is so small and I am so old.
Another Bridesmaid: You’re not really 41, are you?
Me: I’m as surprised as you are.
We all got around to prepping our gifts for the couple; the best man accidentally bought an anniversary card for them.
Him: (laughing) I’m just going to cross it out and write, Congratulations.
After the ceremony, it was finally time for the wedding. Because of rain, the wedding had to move inside.
A shame but still very nice.
My friend Katie was at the table and fixated on one thing: drinks. Unfortunately, her first glass of bourbon was taken away so she resorted to leaving notes for the waitstaff.
My other friends were more fixated on the cake and dessert tray.
There was even a candy station where we could get our fill of candy. Too bad there wasn’t a gyro station. That woulda been sweet.
Speaking of sweet, after the cake finally came out, dashed out with my brother and our friend Tina – caught the ferry home with two minutes to spare.
The next day, woke up bright and early to see the wife in New Jersey. where I wrote this on the train ride over.
That’s a whole different story and one only of interest to me I suppose.
But I’ll tell you all about it someday.
Wife: How was it?
Me: Good. Tiring. Glad it’s done. I’m sure they are too.
Her: Did you get any sleep?
Me: Some. Not enough. What’s new?