Are you a religious man?

I’d rather it be the other way around

New York City church
Alison’s more confused and vomiting constantly. We decided to keep her home for as long as possible.

Oddly, ran into someone from the hospital the other day while I was out running an errand.

Him: Mr. McCarthy, how is your wife?
Me: The same. (thinking) Worse.
Him: (pause) I’m sorry. We talk about you two, you know.
Me: You’re all surprised she’s still alive.
Him: (sighing) Yes, that’s true. But also that you both keep fighting.
Me: She keeps fighting. I’m just support staff.
Him: I’ve been doing this over 20 years. Seen a lot of men just put their wives into hospice and move on.
Me: Why would anyone marry anyone if they weren’t in for the full deal?
Him: I dunno, people do. (later) Are you a religious man?
Me: Once thought about being a pastor. A fleeting thought. But I went to and volunteered for church for years.
Him: So you believe in God. You have that to lean on.
Me: I do believe in God, this is true. (pause) I just don’t think he likes my family very much.
Him: (long pause) I don’t know what to say about that.
Me: Nothing to say. My wife’s not even the only one dying. I had two others in my family with terminal illnesses. And that’s not even everything.
Him: (sighing) It’s like Job. (hopefully) He survived.
Me: Yeah. His family didn’t. I’d rather it be other way around. I’m sure he woulda too.

\’

Location: with my family
Mood: gutted
Music: Stay alive, here we go
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4 thoughts on “Are you a religious man?”

  1. Although I don’t know you, I think about your family often. I volunteer at the City of Hope, which is a cancer hospital near me so I see how cancer affects patients and their families. I am truly sorry for what you and your beautiful family are going through.. it’s just not right on any level.

  2. I don’t know if this is appropriate coming from a stranger, but, has Allison entertained the idea of recording messages for Nate–for when he is older and may have questions, share her life lessons, tell him she loves him? I know you have a lot on your plate and mind so I’m sorry to add on to it.

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