Categories
personal

Disclaimers

Someone told me remembering someone you love that’s gone is like hugging a porcupine. That sounds about right. Trying to fill up my time with distractions.

Filling time

Me: You’d make a great girlfriend for someone. (flustered) I mean, not for me – we’re not right for each other – but someone.
Gradgirl: (laughing) You know, Logan, you don’t have to constantly give disclaimers.
Me: It’s the lawyer for me.

Been drinking less these days. Kinda. Which means I’m dealing with reality more. Kinda.

Got several writer friends of mine that tell me I should write down everything that happened for the future.

They’re right but I can’t do it yet. Leigh’s husband said that my memories of Alison are like loving pet porcupines; you want to pull them close, but you can’t.

That made me laugh, but it’s true. I think of her and then it’s too much to bear so I immediately distract myself, filling my time however I can.

Him: Oi, c___ty. You ready to come roll?

On that note, the owner of my old gym – an Aussie – told me to swing by, which I did before the weekend. It’s a weird sport where you literally, not figuratively, choke someone’s wife and they both give you a hug.

He and Kung took me out to lunch afterward.

I seem to break down every time I see people I’ve not seen since Alison was pregnant.

Me: (wiping eyes) I’m sorry guys. I can’t keep it together. I’m always two seconds away from waterworks.
Him: You think we didn’t know to expect this? 
Me: I’m told I give a lotta disclaimers.
Him: We’re mates. You don’t need to. You do whatever you have to do to get through this.

And that’s what most people are telling me. So I do. Told him that I’m meeting women here and there just to pass the time when the kid’s not around.

Him: Are you using an app?
Me: (pointing at self) I’m using this face and my personality.
Him: (laughs) That works?
Me: (shaking head and taking a drink) I’m as surprised as you are.

Location: my old desk, wondering what to do next
Mood: resigned
Music: Sometimes in my tears I drown, but I never let it get me down

Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Blogarama - Observations Blogs

4 replies on “Disclaimers”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.