You talk funny
One of my earliest memories is a kid saying to me, “You talk funny.”
I’m pretty sure that I spoke with a thick Queens plus Chinese accent back then but used some over-sized vocabulary. My dad drilled SAT words into us as early as I can remember.
No wonder I didn’t have any friends.
Fast forward to now, I can’t bring myself to talk to the kid in any other way than the way I normally talk. But I’m realizing how odd I must sound to other people.
Me: How’s your sandwich?
Son: It’s lovely, papa.
My buddy Spak has made fun of a few phrases I use, but – oddly – the ones that he points out the most are the ones from Alison.
Me: We’re late, let’s get crack-a-lacking, Lo!
Son: Let’s get crack-a-lacking!
Mouse has noticed it too.
Her: How was your day?
Him: It was amazeballs!
But it makes me happy to hear the words that Alison used coming out of his mouth. I can’t help but smile when I hear him say them. I want, so much, for him to have her influence in his life, somehow.
Of course, there are things he says that are exclusively mine.
Me: Do you wanna have a bubble bath?
Me: (later) How high are the bubbles?
Him: (runs to the bathroom, runs back) It’s so high! It’s cray, daddy! It’s cray-cray!
Some of the things he says to the world are so hilarious that I can’t help but think he’s brilliant, even if it’s just a typical dad thinking typical things of his typical son.
Uncle: Are you watching TV?
Son: It’s on but we’re not watching it.
Uncle: Then what are you doing?
Son: Just talking
Uncle: Oh nice. What are you talking about?
Uncle: You’re not talking about anything?
Son: No. WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT SAVING THE WORLD!!
God, I hope he has friends growing up and I’m not screwing him up too much.
As an aside, he also runs cray hot – dammit, I have to stop using that word – like me. This is him when it was 40 degrees out. He flat out refused to wear his jacket, hat, or gloves.