Hello…what?

Don’t want to comment on all the tragedy; there’s enough. So, here’s four happy/stupid:

  1. Instead of a birthday cake, I had a low-fat, low-carb ice cream sandwich. It was great good not so bad.
  2. CindyE sang me Happy Birthday, in-aeternum sent me an amazing gift, in_a_silver_bag sent me a picture of soup, and so many of you guys left me comments – I can’t even tell you how that made my day. Plus people remembered that I didn’t think would and people forgot that I didn’t think would. All good. Finally, katsmw digitaldewi, and frieseurfrau, all mentioned me in their journals. Cool.
  3. At least 15 people left me voicemail per my request.
    • I could use some more (especially male) for the project I’m considering. Could you give me a ring? Don’t leave your name if you don’t wanna.
  4. I appreciate all your kind thoughts but here’s my favorite greeting from the past week or so:

Him: Hey, I wanted to wish you a happy b-day. By the way, I’ve got some good dirt.
Me: Sweet, hit me.
Him: Remember when I told you that I ran into your ex out here?
Me: Vaguely…
Him: We totally hooked up. I mean full-on.
Me: (pause) How is that good again?
Him: I meant for me.
Me: (…)
Him: Why’s everything about you? Oh, there’s my ride, I’m out. Happy Birthday!
Me: (…)

I’ve decided that hope is good.

Thanks for the hope.

Location: on my birthday, in the UWS, swinging sticks around
Mood: happy
Music: built my life around you but time makes you bolder Even children get older

17 Again

A little art project

Me @ 17. My hair is blue. Yes, I’m a dork.

It’s my birthday.

To celebrate, I’m just going to work out. It’s OK, I did a lot of living last week.

I’ve updated my pictures per a reader’s request.

Now…I want something from you.

I think it’s fair; I pour out all my insanity for your entertainment, but once in a blue moon, I’m going to ask you to do something for me, besides get me soup (which no one did, not that I’m bitter):

  • Call this number: 1.XXX.XXX.XXXX and listen to the directions. (20070419 EDIT: thanx! I’ve gotten all the voices I can use)
  • Wait a sec and then say your name/LJ name
  • Wait another sec and read the below work, I Remember Seventeen
  • If you screw up, hit # and start again.

Remember to change the fifth line to the proper age from when you were 17 (ie, if you’re 29, change the line to read Man, twelve years ago).

If you’re a chick, I have no idea what to change lines 9 an 14 to; I leave it up to you to figure that part out.

Since we’re are not dating, please keep your crazy to yourself – I’m deleting everything else that deviates.

Read it how you read it. I wanna hear your voice reading it the way you would read it.

It’s only fair

You know what I sound like.
http://static.boomp3.com/player.swf?id=1572399728e1

I remember seventeen

I remember seventeen,
All my ways and means,
All my little dreams.

I remember seventeen
Man, seventeen years ago
Back when I had flow
(Or I had thought so)

Love’s simple, the beauty queen.
My friends, all on the scene;
trying to be cool,
looking like some fools.

But I thought I was pretty slick
with the pretty chicks.
But really, I had no flow
and those girlies, they laid me low.

Back then it all meant so much,
all those little cuts,
everything that sucked.

Me, a stupid kid
hoping to be big.

Course, it’s a little sad
all my memories;
how different I thought I’d be
from my current state of me.

Still, sometimes, so far away
sometimes, like yesterday,

yeah, I remember seventeen.

All those little cuts…

Location: @ my parents in front of an ice cream sandwich
Mood: pensive
Music: I had so many crashes That I couldn’t feel at all and it feels like I’m 17 again

Possible pasts

We all think about what could have been

Quite a weekend.

Friday I spent quietly at home because I went out Monday and Thursday of last week.

Saturday was a different story:

  • 7AM – 2PM Work
  • 2PM – 4PM fencing
  • 4PM – 7PM dinner party
  • 7PM – 9PM speed dating thing (I didn’t participate, I was just catching up with a friend that ran the event)
  • 10PM – 11PM Birthday party
  • 11PM – 3AM Club
  • 3AM – 7AM Extracurricular activity

I’d put in more details but I’m still trying to remember them.

Been running into ex-girlfriends in the oddest of ways. In a manner of speaking.

At the speed dating thing, I met a girl that knew my first girlfriend. She told me that my ex was still single. For some reason, that didn’t surprise me.

The birthday party was full of girls that actually stayed at my house 10 years ago, (wait for it) for a church retreat sponsored by my third girlfriend. They’re all about 26-28 now. Quite weird. They told me that my third girlfriend is married, pregnant and happy. I’m glad to hear.

I just got home about 15 minutes ago and in my in box is an email from another ex-girlfriend from Europe. She’s going to send me some pictures of my time in Europe. She’s a sweetheart.

My past likes to visit me.

It’s fine.

I enjoy the company.

Location: @1AM, lying on a red bed listening to the rain
Mood: thoughtful
Music: our possible pasts lie in tatters and rags Do you remember me?

Hole

I’m always working through a few things

I can’t believe no one sent me soup.

Despite my better judgment, just walked in the door from a night with the guys. I took the long walk home to clear my head and sober me up. I got in at 2AM on Monday and now 3AM on Thursday.

I’m turning 34 next week, I’ve gotta stop with these mid-week late nights. Then again, I don’t really work but that’s neither here nor there.

So, here I am in front of my computer trying to get some things done and my thoughts drift.

I’m feeling philosophical, what with the volume of chemicals in my system. As I said before, all of life’s problems can be traced to health, wealth or relationships. We all have holes in our worlds that go through one of those routes.

Now, I’ve got a hole in all three. I’m trying to fill them as best I can but they seem un-fillable, sometimes. Timing.

Speaking of which, another girl – whom I’ll just call Caligirl and let you guess why – and I were orbiting back in December. We never got together because of my situation back then and I ended up with someone else. Now – well, now, I’ve got a new situation on my mind. She’s nice enough but I’m trying to clear my head.

Her: Hey, I heard you’re seeing someone.
Me: I was. Past tense.
Her: Oh, well…that’s too bad. Not that it’s related (laugh) but, you free for lunch this weekend?
Me: (pause) I’d love to but I think I’m sick. I’m also…working through a few things.
Her: (sigh) Yeah…you’re always working through a few things.

Yeah…I’m always working through a few things.

Location: @2AM, grabbing an uptown train at 14th
Mood: tired
Music: if it’s all the same to you I love you oh so well Like a kid loves candy

Cash Cab Call

I was a contestant on Cash Cab!

No real entry today but that doesn’t mean that I won’t entertain as I was recently on a game show, which you can see above.

I’m just being lazy. Don’t judge me, I’m sick.

Speaking of sick, would someone please send me some soup?

Location: @3:00 PM yest., on 95th & Broadway shutting a vault
Mood: Still sick
Music: leftovers with mashed potatoes No more candlelight

A Billion Miles of Fate and Luck

What is life but a bunch of random meetings?

(c) A Lo

I once randomly met a woman I dated for over a year at a cocktail party on 76th Street.

Met another woman who stood outside a phone booth in Columbia waiting to make a phone call.

Met yet another one who sat on a park bench north of Astor Place.

And I met Blue Jean Eyes in a random class in a random school at a random moment in my, admittedly, random life.

That last one ended just as randomly the other day. I think. There’s definitely something about her and me that I just can’t put my finger on. While it takes two people to get into a relationship, it only takes one to get out of it.

But you knew that.

I’m ok, though. I was hoping for a nice summer at least but you take life as it comes. She’s great. I wish her only every good thing.

As for me, I’ve dusted myself off, gave Gio and the guys a call and got out and about. Had a weekend that I barely remember and a Monday night in front of another blue-eyed girl who told me I was having a great time.

I laughed.

I read once that the Universe expands by a billion miles in all directions every hour.

Isn’t the intersection of fate and luck fascinating?

Well, sad and disappointing at times, but fascinating nonetheless.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Location: @8:30 yesterday, dinner at the Manhattan Diner
Mood: Sick
Music: Hey Lloyd, I’m ready to be heartbroken

Look at the time

I’ll be 34 soon

Just walked in the door from drinks with Nadi, who always makes me laugh, even when I’m as sick as a dog. As I’m sobering up, I hope I didn’t say too much but I’m sure I did. Something else for some other time. She’s looking for something too. I wish I could help her find it.

As for me, I’ll be 34 shortly, so I present three separate conversations from people I met recently:

Her: Oh you went to Cornell too?
Me: Yep, class of 1993.
Her: (pause) I think I was in first grade then.
Me: (sigh) I think that’s my phone…

Her: 1993?
Me: Yeah, why?
Her: (counting) Man, I was nine then.
Me: (sigh) Dark rum on the rocks with a slice of orange. Keep ’em coming.
Her: (pause) We don’t have oranges
Me: Of course.

Him: You graduated high school in 1990?
Me: Yep.
Him: (pause) Wow, that’s when I was born.
Me: (sigh) Look at the time…
Him: (confused) Dude, you’re not even wearing a watch.

But I still know what time it is.

Location: @2:32 AM, spilling secrets on 72nd with an old friend and new
Mood: sick
Music: in love with a girl who’s in love with the world

Teaser Too

Today is Easter and I should be off to church but I’m not feeling well. I’ll try to make the evening service. Easter is all about renewal and I could use some right now.

It’s my own fault for not feeling well; I went out last night with my brother and friends, mainly because things are going on with me that I’m trying to sort out. Too much to go into now and I’m in no condition to elucidate but I will. I always do. So last night, I both bent time and caught a cold.

Ooooh, my aching head.

In the meanwhile, Rain and I shot another teaser for the other night – we’ll be archiving them at: www.72canal.com.

I’m back to fixing mode with my life but all is good OK.

::fix, fix, fix::

Location: @4:23 AM, stumbling home
Mood: Thoughtful
Music: Do you wanna come over and kill some time?

Pandora

What was the last thing in Pandora’s Box?


They opened a new Amish school house in Pennsylvania the other day.

Hopeful is good.

I think.

Have you ever actually read about Pandora’s box? Yes, she unleashed all of life’s misery but did you know that Hope was the final thing in the box? It was also the only thing Pandora managed to trap.

Eventually, Hope escaped.

There are two ways to look at this, either:

  • Hope is the one thing that counteracts all the crap life throws your way; OR
  • Hope is the worst of all evils because when you’re let down, well…I’m sure you’ve been let down before so, you know.

Always thought it was the former. In my late nights, I’m not sure. I think it may be the latter.

I would like it to be the former, but, then again, I would like a lot of things.

Location: @3:30, crossing the 59th St. Bridge
Mood: sad
Music: read my mind love What a tale my thoughts would tell

Bad Robot…bad

Robots and computers always turn evil. Always.

One thing I do share with my buddy Rain is his irrational suspicions of robots. As he noted, Honda has come up with a robot that runs. Look at this little bugger go!

Man, have we as a collective learned nothing from the likes of the Terminator Trilogy, a Space Odyssey or Battlestar Galatica?!

Between this and global warming, we are totally screwed.

Robots and computers always turn evil. Always.

Unless they’re hot like Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner.

That’s ok.
Location: at home working
Mood: sad
Music: lost without u can’t help myself