I’m also meeting a lot of lesbians for some reason
In addition to the Swedish girls, I met a bunch of really attractive lipstick lesbians/bisexuals this past weekend.
Girl 1 Me: Why are you giving me your number? Her: If you wanna call me, call me, if you don’t, f___ off. Me: OK. Just to be clear, you mostly like the girlies, yeah? Her: Yeah, and? (pause) Y’know, gimme back my f____ number.
Girl 2 Her: So what’s your story? Me: I’m looking for Ms. Right in the big city. Her: (laughing) Funny, so am I.
The second girl and I have swapped a few emails; she’s in a similar profession. She’s very nice – she’s also a full-on Jewish lesbian. I’m sure she’s a pescatarian from NJ too but I didn’t ask.
Then these three kids stepped into the subway car and started hitting everything around them with drumsticks.
Asked them if they would play me something. They did.
The little things almost ruined my day. Then again, a little thing saved it. The guy at the pound said I was a lucky boy. The doc said I was fine.
Later that night, I met four lovely ladies, three of whom were traveling from Sweden. The girl in the conversation above lives around the way. Also met some other people but those are stories for a different time.
Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is – Bhagavad Gita
Caligirl: …then there are the serial daters. The guys that are always out and about. Me: If I were honest, I’d tell you that that’s what I’m afraid of. See, I’ve only ever been in long-term relationships. I never really dated. I think I secretly worried that I might be good at it. Her: (turning) And? Me: (laughing) You tell me.
Him: You don’t think it’s strange, to have a site with your name on it all about you? And all the stuff you write – who reads it? I mean, you’re just you. You’re just a regular dude. You’re not like a celebrity or anything. Me: “Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.” Him: What? Me: (shrugging) It just means that in my head, I think I’m someone.
…course, if I make soup, I gotta freeze some and I’ve still got all those packs of mac ‘n cheese and veggie burgers. No, the chicken cutlets were the right call. They’re flat so…
Guy: Hey. Hey! HEY! DUDE! Me: (stopping) Huh? Me? Guy: Yeah. Dude, you’re that guy from that websitcom, right? 72nd something? Me: (laughing) 72nd to Canal. Did you watch it? Guy: Yeah, you’re that jackass lawyer guy, Lorin? Me: I am that jackass lawyer guy. And my real name is Logan. Good eye. Guy: Keep up the good work, I liked it. Me: (shaking his hand) Thanks, man, really. That’s cool. (we walk away)
…I can keep them in fridge. Shoot, I gotta leave some bread out tonight for breadcrumbs. Guess I’ll make them tomorrow. I really gotta clean out my freezer. I wonder if…
Went out to eat with Rain, Furison and some other people the other night. Furison was nice enough to bring me to a place that could serve dark rum with a slice of orange. I’ve been so busy, I never thanked her. Fun and interesting.
Also interesting was the conversation I had with the Natalie Portman-like waitress before I left. I preface this conversation with the fact that I shook her hand before we spoke and she’s holding my hand throughout the entire exchange.
Her: You should come back. Me: This is about four pay grades higher than where I normally eat. Six if I’m honest. Why? Her: You’re fun. Me: I’m not sure how I should take that. I suppose I should start hitting on you. Her: (laugh) Smooth. You’re cute but…I like the girlies. Me: (pause) No kidding. Can I convince you to swing for the other team? Her: (thinking) Well, what if I were Brad Pitt and I asked you the same thing? Me: Point taken, Natalie. See you around? Her: Come back, Logan. I’m here. Like I said, you’re fun.
He was the absolute nicest guy. I also met Governor Hugh Carey and Queens Borough President Helen M. Marshall but it was more interesting for me to meet Koch because he was the mayor I remember from childhood.
Look terrible but I’m jazzed. It’s a pretty cool gig.
It’s blurry in my head, but the picture’s clear, so I know it happened.
Sometimes I’m not sure.
I’m sleepwalking through my life again.
Whether or not I join a board (and I put up a profile just to see and it’s getting weird already), I’m sure I’ll still be able to entertain you with my offline ridiculousness.
Me: I’m sorry, where’s the bathroom? Her: Around the corner there. See the sign? Me: What sign? Her: That sign, the sign with the little guy where it says “Men.” Me: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m still learning to read. I’m up to “X” though, so I’m almost there. Her: (pause, confused, then laugh) Smart-ass. Me: (laugh) You’re a little argumentative. Her: No I’m not! Me: (pause) Yes…you’re not argumentative at all.
She asked me for a card. I told her I didn’t have one. Really didn’t.
Plus, she wasn’t my type and I’m just too tired to even attempt to be entertaining.
I’m good for other things. “Like what?” she asked.
Thanks to everyone for watching our 72nd to Canal and spreading the word. We really appreciate it!
Met three women tonight at a party I went to with Hazel. One is a story for much later, if at all. The other two:
Brooklyngirl Her: She your girlfriend? Me: No dear, I love someone who doesn’t love me. Her: Whoa, that’s a lot of…(hic). Me: Excuse me? Her: Sorry, I have the hiccups.
So, because I was pretty lit, I put my rum down, turned and kissed her. Her: (surprised) Why’d you do that? Me: Are the hiccups gone? Her: (pause, laughing) Yes. Me: Well then, you can buy me another rum then.
Dancergirl Me: So you’re from New Jersey? Are you a vegetarian? Her: I’ve NEVER been asked that before. No, but would it matter? Me: (shrugging) Not even close. Her: So what’s your story? Me: I’m a pretty, straight boy in NYC looking to drink until I forget things. You? Her: (thinking) I’m a pretty, straight girl in NYC looking to drink. Buy me one? Me: No. I’m not that guy. But I’m good for other things. Her: Like what?
I would say more but let’s leave it to your imagination.
I was in charge of finding a place to screen 72nd to Canal and I wasn’t having much luck:
Him: Are you sure? Me: Of course I’m sure, I passed the bar exam in one shot! I have a JD! I’m an ivy league grad! I think I know how to make a phone call. Him: (pause) You know you gotta dial a (1) first… Me: Are you even listening to me? Him: Did it ring? Me: (pause) You know I have to kill you now.
I was out with some friends hauling furniture, drinking rum, and arguing.
Me: Of course I’m pissed, you opened the vault! You’re supposed to keep that stuff to yourself! Him: I opened the vault? Look who’s talking! At least I was drunk. What’s your excuse for that email from last time? Me: That was a mistake and I apologized. Him: I may have opened the vault, but you, you give f___ tours. “Come on in, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you a drink?”