Love as it comes

It’s good to have female friends

Man, I miss Firefly – obviously (C) someone else…

Her: How’ve you been?
Me: Insanely busy, Nadi. I hate it. How’s unemployment?
Her: Good. Weird.
Me: Well, now you can enjoy having a personal life again.
Her: Yeah. Lorelei said that she would introduce me to a nice girl Saturday.
Me: Wait, girl?
Her: Boy, girl, either one is fine with me. Just someone nice, kinda cool, good looking enough so I’m not repulsed. You know?
Me: (pause) I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m a little turned on right now.
Her: …
Me: What? I’m still a dude, this is how we think.
Her: Fine, just don’t put this in your stupid blog.

Location: @9PM yesterday, on 20th and 8th, feeling old
Mood: insanely busy still
Music: What religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover

50/50

You think your dating life is bad?

Had a late dinner and a bit to drink with Hazel and Locationgirl.

Probably have a 50/50 ratio of male/female friends. For me, there’s a clear line of demarcation between friends and lovers, potential or otherwise (of course that’s exactly what my ex said to me and that turned out to be total crap).

Still, it’s great being able to have feminine sounding boards. Consider the recent conversation between Casey and myself:

Her: You think your dating life is bad? On date three, a guy asked me to show up wearing a Halloween costume.
Me: No way! What’d you say?
Her: I said “F___ no!”
Me: Nice. Strong work there, Case.
Her: Yeah, and then just the other day he contacted me to ask if I had a Maid’s…
Me: (interrupting) Wait, you answered?
Her: (pause) Yea, I guess I shouldn’t have.

I’ve said it before, relationships are hard. You do what you can, when you can.

For me, life is…confusing. At least I’m not the only one who’s confused.

Location: @10PM, in front of pitcher three
Mood: drunk
Music: another chance and a someday soon, Shining like the Alabama moon

If only

Thus ends my first post breakup relationship

Her: I love you.
Me: Ah, if only you did.

Well, that all went to hell.

But to quote a close friend:

It’s better to be the star of your own movie than have a cameo in someone else’s.

I did that the last time around.

This time, no matter how much I wish it weren’t so, I decided that I’d rather be by myself than play a cameo ever again.

I know I’m not perfect
(trust me, I’ve checked)
but I’m good enough to be
nobody’s damned,
wait-and-see.

Once a lifetime,
no matter how I feel,
once a lifetime,
it’s enough for me.

Sigh. Those blue eyes though…

Location: @6:12 PM, saying goodbye to the east side
Mood: sad
Music: I wish that I, that I could stay

Telling tales

My life/blog has become very self-referential

My life/blog has turned oddly self-referential in that, when people want to know what I’m up to, I point them towards this but then again, some of those interactions become part of the blog. It’s hard to explain and I’m a bit muddle-headed these days so I’m not going to attempt to clarify further.

Thought of this because I got a phone call recently asking what I was up to. I, of course, pointed him here. Afterwards, he called me back and we had another conversation that reminded of an old MASH skit regarding this:

Him: So what happened?
Me: I don’t kiss and tell.
Him: Did you kiss?
Me: Can’t you tell?

Location: at a kitchen table in Queens, piled with books
Mood: working
Music: a different corner and we never would have met

Don’t wake me from the dream

Sometimes dreams seem so real, and we wish they were

Had a dream the other night that seemed so real.

Was in an old apartment I had and someone was washing the dishes. I came up behind her and tapped her shoulder and a face I haven’t seen in a while turned around to smile at me.

Her: (drying hands) You ok?
Me: What are you doing here?
Her: (laughing) I live here. Why? Are you trying to tell me something?
Me: You live here?
Her: Yes, I live here.
Me: Are we happy?
Her: What the hell’s wrong with you? The question is, are you happy?
Me: I am.
Her: Then what’s wrong?
Me: Not a thing. Everything is…everything is right.

Then I woke up.

I so didn’t want to wake up.

Location: @1:23AM, showering before bed
Mood: melancholy
Music: I’m so free…No black and white in the blue

I gotta talk to you

Made a bad email faux pas

Me: I’ll just get to the point – you’re gonna be REALLY mad in about 30 seconds.
Him: Why? What’d you do now?
Me: Did you see that episode of The Office where Michael accidentally sends an email to the wrong person?
Him: Oh god…
Me: Well, I forwarded those pics you asked for and my accompanying comments to X.
Him: How do you screw that up?!?!? My name is spelled nothing like her’s.
Me: Yeah, I did it though. I’m really sorry.
Him: …
Me: Hello? You’re really mad, right?
Him: What makes you think that? Because, while I’m working like a dog for coin, you’re dismantling my social life brick-by-brick? No, I’m not mad. Listen, you gotta take the train down here right now.
Me: Uh…sure. Why?
Him: Because I need to strangle you. Don’t wear a turtleneck.

Location: the intersection of embarrassment and stupidity
Mood: mortified
Music: I’m no longer moved to drink strong whiskey

Totally worth it

You pay a price for the things you do

Me: Do you remember hitting me on New Years?
Her: I hit you?! Why?
Me: Well, someone, not me, grabbed your butt and you turned to me and you were all pissed. You asked, “Did you grab my butt?” And I said, “No.”
Her: Did you grab my butt?
Me: No.
Her: Then what happened?
Me: Then I grabbed your butt. And you immediately slapped me.
Her: (pause) Was it any good?
Me: (pause) Yes. It was totally worth it.

We then both laughed. My friends are awesome. She thinks I’m in love with her, I think she’s in love with me. We’re both wrong – a good thing.

We’ll be friends for a long time.

Location: @12:25, Glitter and Doom @ 1000 Fifth Avenue
Mood: mellow
Music: Somehow, I lost my way, looking to see something in your eyes

Enhanced by Zemanta

Second story, first thoughts

The one where I met another blogger

Heart in hand, I made my way to the west side uptown line. I haven’t taken a cab by myself in a while and I feel it’s somewhat wasteful. Plus the walking always clears my mind.

I was in the subway and this very small woman had a bag covering her hand so that she didn’t have to hold onto the railing.

Not that I blame her, I would do the same thing; there’s 4.7 million subway riders a day. That’s more people than most cities have. You’ve gotta figure someone has something nasty.

But the thing was that this woman had a tiny, tiny sandwich bag around her tiny, tiny hand. I looked at her, then at this pretty blond sitting across from she and we both laughed. The blond took out a pen and a pad and wrote out something. We then reached my stop and the blond exited also.

I had to ask.

Me: Did you write about that woman?
Her: Yes, not that I blame her, I would do the same thing. I have a blog about the subway…
Me: Funny you say that, it just so happens…

We exchanged blog information, which I think is so comically modern (note that this is all at two or three in the morning). If you’re at all interested, her blog is here.

Yes, I am a complete dweeb. But, I would like to point out that you are reading the blog of a complete dweeb.

Oh my.

The lack of sleep is making me rude.

No excuse…

Sorry.

Location: knee-deep in computer parts
Mood: Amused
Music: I just couldn’t take the hurt again, What a feeling

Catching a cab uptown

Met this young lady out-and-about and said exactly the wrong things

Indie band playing in Brooklyn

Saturday night, I went out to see a band play in Brooklyn, which ended up being hella fun. Course, had to up and ruin the night for myself.

Everything was going fine until we hopped a cab back into the City and ended up at a pizza joint downtown. I sitting to the side and when this very attractive blond comes in and sits down next to me. I’m not sure how we started talking but I find out that she’s from Florida, works with on a network program and is recently divorced. Somehow got her to also trade driver’s licenses with me and I realize that she’s six years younger than me. And divorced! Crazy.

We’re chatting a bit more and then she tells me that she’s going to eat more pizza. Scoff and tell her that women always think they can eat a lot but they never can, to which she tells me, “I can eat you under the table.” She goes and gets another slice and it’s just then my friends decide to leave. When she gets back, I’ve got my jacket on. Here’s the rest of the conversation:

Her: Oh, you’re leaving?
Me: Yeah, my friends are going.
Her: Do you go everywhere your friends go?
Me (wait for it): Well, we’re catching a cab uptown so, yes.

*sigh*

Did take down her number and I’m debating if it’s worth calling her at this point.

Oh who am I kidding – I’m calling…

20061024 UPDATE – Check that; I’ve lost her number.

I’m my own worst enemy.

Location: @8:15 – half breath, sight, pull
Mood: Silly
Music: the colors mix together to grey and it breaks her heart
Site Meter