Anyone that’s read this blog knows that I think people, as a whole, are scumbags. Individually, though, there’re some great ones.
As I mentioned before, Jaerik took it upon himself to pimp out the show as did AZN Concerts. So_yun sent us a check outta pity and Evul bought four tickets for the same reason even though he can’t come – we’re not proud, we’ll take it.
Finally, a good friend heard I wasn’t sleeping so she called me late last night and ended up singing to me though she denies it (“you’re delusional“) . Between her and CindyE I’ve got a chorus line going on.
Kindness is seriously underrated. Even Blue Jean Eyes (who may hate me at this point, though I’m not sure why) is sending me back a jacket I left at her place.
Somena called late the other night. We only ever talk when it’s late.
I thinks that’s a good definition although mine is a bit different but the same. I’ll write it up some time.
Me: Fair enough – what’s your definition? Her: (pause) Did you hear the lyrics to Cigarettes by the Wreckers? There’s a line that goes “someday I won’t have to prove ‘Cause somebody will see all my worth.” That’s what I think. It’s when somebody just thinks you’re great; you’re awesome. Me: (thinking) If that’s what it is then, I guess no, I haven’t had it in a while. Besides, I don’t… Her: Stop. The right person will see. She’ll think you’re awesome. Even if you’re not. You know how the line ends? It goes “until then I’ll do just fine on my own.” You always do just fine, you’re always fine. Me: (pause) It’s too bad we’re so alike… Her: (laughing) We’d kill each other. Get some sleep. Nite, Logan. Me: Nite, Somena.
I was out with some friends hauling furniture, drinking rum, and arguing.
Me: Of course I’m pissed, you opened the vault! You’re supposed to keep that stuff to yourself! Him: I opened the vault? Look who’s talking! At least I was drunk. What’s your excuse for that email from last time? Me: That was a mistake and I apologized. Him: I may have opened the vault, but you, you give f___ tours. “Come on in, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you a drink?”
Was out and about this weekend again with three females; two were friends, one was not.
The two that were friends were out to meet people. They’re both very attractive and when they’re out with people they have no interest in, they’re socially fine. But the moment they like someone, they get shy. Think most people are like that. I was like that too.
But that was a while ago.
Now, I always ask myself: Just who the hell do you think you are?
As for the girl that was not my friend, that’s a story for a different time.
This weekend, I had the last of my birthday celebrations with my college friends. They like to celebrate in nice places with nice tableware.
Me? Burgers and wings, please. Gio and Hazel brought me out for more of the same the day before. Anything else will spoil me.
I had a weird conversation with a Rain recently:
Him: I gotta ask, are you gay? Me: First of all, no. Second of all, what? Him: I had to ask. Me: Now? You’ve known me for almost ten years! Now? Would it matter if I were? Him: Stop being a lawyer, and no. It just came up. Me: It just came up? Him: It just came up. Me: Do you even read my blog? Him: Does anyone?
I’m not – not that there’s anything wrong with it. There is no bigger fan of the female form. Someone overheard that I’ve had relations with two bisexual women, but I guess they didn’t hear that last part.
But I do have to say that I’m not even sure why women like men.
Don’t want to comment on all the tragedy; there’s enough. So, here’s four happy/stupid:
Instead of a birthday cake, I had a low-fat, low-carb ice cream sandwich. It was great good not so bad.
CindyE sang me Happy Birthday, in-aeternum sent me an amazing gift, in_a_silver_bag sent me a picture of soup, and so many of you guys left me comments – I can’t even tell you how that made my day. Plus people remembered that I didn’t think would and people forgot that I didn’t think would. All good. Finally, katsmw digitaldewi, and frieseurfrau, all mentioned me in their journals. Cool.
At least 15 people left me voicemail per my request.
I could use some more (especially male) for the project I’m considering. Could you give me a ring? Don’t leave your name if you don’t wanna.
I appreciate all your kind thoughts but here’s my favorite greeting from the past week or so:
Him: Hey, I wanted to wish you a happy b-day. By the way, I’ve got some good dirt. Me: Sweet, hit me. Him: Remember when I told you that I ran into your ex out here? Me: Vaguely… Him: We totally hooked up. I mean full-on. Me: (pause) How is that good again? Him: I meant for me. Me: (…) Him: Why’s everything about you? Oh, there’s my ride, I’m out. Happy Birthday! Me: (…)
Her: How’ve you been? Me: Insanely busy, Nadi. I hate it. How’s unemployment? Her: Good. Weird. Me: Well, now you can enjoy having a personal life again. Her: Yeah. Lorelei said that she would introduce me to a nice girl Saturday. Me: Wait, girl? Her: Boy, girl, either one is fine with me. Just someone nice, kinda cool, good looking enough so I’m not repulsed. You know? Me: (pause) I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m a little turned on right now. Her: … Me: What? I’m still a dude, this is how we think. Her: Fine, just don’t put this in your stupid blog.
Went to see my college friends again last night. We don’t get together as often as, I think, we would like.
Life gets in the way.
Heard once that JRR Tolkien, CS Lewis and a third writer were all close friends and when the third writer died (Charles Williams?), CS Lewis said something along the lines of “When he died, I thought, ‘at least I’ll have more of JRR, but in fact I had less,'” meaning that, when the third friend died, CS Lewis found that the third friend brought out things in Tolkien that CS couldn’t.
In any case, I see my friends individually but when we all get together, it’s a different dynamic. I see things in my friends’ faces and hear voices from over a decade ago.
I’ve been stuck here for a bit. Don’t ask. But it reminds me of something from a while ago.
One of my closest friends in college was a guy named Crawford who was a god at meeting women – he was (a) good-looking, (b) charming and (c) shameless. We had a blast for two years.
He told me a story once. He said that real cowboys were hired, maybe five to eight at a time, in one state to drive cattle to the other end of the country. This bunch of guys was thrown together for months at a time and, during this time, they were each others’ friends, doctors, entertainers, cooks and guardian angels. They needed to keep each other sane and safe to get the job done.
And once the job was done, they separated. No emails, faxes, phone calls, letters. Just onto the next job.
The question Crawford posed to me was: were they truly friends? Is there such thing as friendship when there’s a finite ending?
What about when two lovers separate – was there any love really there?
My answer to all is yes.
Because at some point everything ends. Life will take everything and everyone you love. There is nothing you can touch that you won’t lose at some point down the line.
Five months, fifty years, the time doesn’t make it any more or less real.
I take solace in that.
At some point, these people I loved, once loved me. It’s sad when relationships end but goodbyes are always sad.
Crawford and I both moved here to the big city. We met up once but then I never saw him again.