We live in a Cliff’s Notes society where we think we know things

My friend Mike passed away; I just heard the news this weekend. Very sudden.

An older guy, he looked like he was 45. He had a six-pack! Paul and I joked all the time that he looked better than botha us. He was a student in my fencing class; 65 years old and still training hard.

I remember that when everything went down with me, so many people said, Well, the only way is up. Which is yet another one of those sayings that only has the air of truth but no real truth to it – dude, there’s always more room for down. Always.

Mike didn’t say that; he said: I’m an old man, I’ve seen a lotta things. You never know what Life will give you, but good or bad, you take it anyway.

We live in a Cliff’s Notes society where we know the punchlines, but never the whole saying:

  • Fools rush in (where angels fear tread)
  • Curiosity killed the cat, (and satisfaction brought him back)
  • Speak of the devil (and the devil appears)

Y’know the sayings: for whom the bell tolls and no man is an island? They come from a John Donne poem:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend’s were.
Each man’s death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

Mike, you bastard, you made a room fulla grown men with pointy sticks and aggression issues cry. We’re diminished.

I hope when I go, I’m half the man you were.
Location: writing this with a glass of rum for Mike
Mood: grateful
Music: Well, if it rains, I don’t care Don’t make no difference to me
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Recent Conversations

Nightlife Conversations in New York City

(c) Victor Kung

Her: What do you do again?
Me: Ruthless businessman.
Her: Me too! Except…I’m a girl.


Her: So I’m intrigued about this blog of yours. Do the women know you write about them?
Me: Only the ones that stay.


Me: I got a camera. What’d you get for Christmas?
Her: My parents got me a Glock 23. It’s beautiful!
Me: (pause) You don’t…you don’t have it on you, do you?
Her: I wish!
Me: I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m a little turned on right now.


Me: I got a camera. What’d you get for Christmas?
Her: Eh, the usual. Oh! Alicia got me a bag of coke. That was awesome.
Me: I really have to record my conversations with you.
Her: Well, it wasn’t all for me, we shared it.


Employee: Why do you need her contact information?
Me: I might need it.
Employee: You don’t need it.
Me: I might need it.
Employee: I’m telling you, you don’t need it.
Female supplier: (sitting uncomfortably then laughing): Here, I’ll write it down.
Me: (grinning) Thanks – you never know, I might need it.
Employee: (rolling eyes) Sheyah. I’m taking a break now.


Watching Planet Earth with Cain:

Narrator: …few signs of life and a desolate environment, there’s little activity for months at a time.
Cain: Much like Logan’s bedroom.
Me: I hate you.

Location: 3:00 yest, having a gyro on Broadway & 78th
Mood: still @#$@# sick
Music: had to make it happen They never thought that I would make it


Holidays are hard, yeah?


I did alotta living last Friday night after work.

Event 1
I went to another office party – I think maybe my fifth? It’s one of the perks of being a consultant. The usual: food, handshakes and drinks.

Event 2
Met up with Hazel for a drink on the UWS where I ran into a woman, Cia, I just met earlier on in the week. I also chatted up two British girlies but I was beat and hopped home at midnight.

Event 3
At 1AM, I was still up so Cain and I decided to grab a drink in our local bar. So out I went again. There I ran into Cia for the third time. My hood is tiny.

Event 4
As soon as I got home at 2AM, Gio rang me. He got his Xmas bonus and wanted to hit the town. “Dude, I’m beat, I just went to…,” I started when he interrupted, “I got a car, a wad of cash, and you never turn down an invitation.”


Soon, I’m hurtling down the West Side Highway and grab superstar parking outside an underground club. There I got shut down for the second time since I became single. The last time it happened the same way, “You’re a talker, go talk to her.” I swear, fastest way to get self-conscious. Twice in 18 months is not bad but still – Totally. Shut. Down.

Gio was amused. Me, not so much. Ah, who am I kidding? I know what I am. We called it a night at 4AM.

Event 5
But Gio’s hungry and I’m a pig. So we grabbed the whip and hit up Blue Ribbon for a late night seafood dinner. I accidentally ate all the lobster. I was amused. Gio, not so much. We sat next to this gorgeous twenty-something blond and her older French date. Gio and I chatted with her a lot, something French dude wasn’t happy about.

He kept trying to hold her hand and I wanted say, “Dude, dude, dude, please…have some pride. She’s a fetus.”

Just as we were getting up to go, she engaged us in conversation again so we sat down and chatted with her a bit more. I contemplated slipping her my card but I reconsidered. Gio told me I should have. Eh…

I woke up four hours later on his couch, stretched and went home. Stepping outside I thought, My friends rock so hard, before I slipped underground.

Location: 19:00 yest, coming home
Mood: exhausted
Music: Heartbreak, cigarettes and songs, with a winter’s chafe

Bachelor Cooking III

Location: finally back home
Mood: freezing
Music: I foresee terrible trouble And I stay here just the same

I should note that I (a) really needed a haircut, (b) was wearing a REALLY large tee-shirt and (c) I had little sleep before the shoot. But I thought it was funny, even if I look terrible.

This week, I’m posting nothing but vids – no pics.


I worked most of the weekend however I did venture out at night. Friday was a story in itself but I ended walking some two miles home in the cold just because I was awake. For a moment I almost called someone that I knew I shouldn’t but by then I was already sober. Just as well.

Saturday, I spent about four hours in the gym. I met up with in_a_silver_bag at night because she was in town. She and her friend were troopers and braved the freezing cold to have some of my favorite aged rum with me.

She told me that I was pretty much like I am in my blog. I think that’s a good thing.

Sunday I saw Rain, L and company for a short holiday party after church. It was good to see them again if only for an hour.

There’s never time enough.

Cappy got hitched

My old college buddy got married

Why do you got the friends the friends you got?

I met Cap in HS at a party in, of all places, a Jewish synagogue. One of us bummed a cig from the other. Don’t remember. We were both going to Cornell. He’d look me up, he said.

We kept running into each other – even once at Broadway & 8th over a weekend – but were never really close. While he became a BMOC, I was hustling in the City most weekends.

But, causa some drama, Junior year I was living outta my whip when I ran into him again. He said I could crash with him and his crew for whatever I could spare – I think I paid about $150 a month.

My clearest memory from all of college is of this one absolute crap night. I remember sitting in the kitchen hating when Cap walked in. Like me, he was always up causa this or that.

The worst part, I said, my CD player broke. How’s that for a kick in the head? He thought for a bit, walked into his room, and came out with his old CD player. He handed it to me and said had another one.

Here’s the thing; he and I were just about the two poorest kids in the house. This is when they cost as much as an Ipod. It meant more than you can imagine. More than I’m capable of writing. I’m just not that good. 14+ years later, I still remember what CD was in it.

Speaking of 14, Cappy eloped with his chick of 14 years. Yeah, you read right. I heard the news today. I’d wish them luck if I thought they needed it.

Ah, just as well – my luck’s not the kind people want anyway.

Location: 19:45, emptying the wastebaskets in my office
Mood: nostalgic
Music: Who’s gonna come around When you break?

Unexpected hellos / Unexpected halos

She wanted to say hello, and just did

Me on phone, hating life:

(sigh) Look, I heard you, now hear me out…yes…yes…no…fine. What would you do if you were me?…That’s conjecture, let’s stick with what we know…

Text on mobile from Europe:

Logan! It’s your Berlingirl! Just wanted to say “hello”…and now I did! 🙂 How’s autumn in NY? I just had my show last week and it went great. Hugs!

Me on phone, hating life a little less:

…What? I’m sorry, could you say that again? (pause) I was distracted by…something.

It’s always the little things that make us or break us. And Autumn in NY?

It’s always lovely, even when it’s not.

Location: 12:47 yest, happily interrupted in my office
Mood: wet
Music: Ich bin mittendrin Da dreht sich die Erde

November’s a cold month

It was a rough weekend

Ran into Gshok at church yesterday and we grabbed dinner afterwards:

Her: I had to get rid of friends that weren’t good for me.
Me: I’m glad I made the cut.

Her: Since you asked: (a) Your blog entries are a bit vague; (b) you’re too preoccupied with girls; and (c) you come off as a bit of a drama queen.
Me: (nodding slowly) Glad I asked.


It was a rough weekend for me for a multitude of reasons. Mainly, though, it was because I think GES and I had our last Saturday cup of coffee for a while.

Me: …situation, if that makes a difference. My mind’s just fixed on getting outta this financial hole I’m in. (pause) Look, you’re catching me at a really…
Her: Just let me know if anything miraculously changes in your life.
(insert awful silence here) Goodbye Logan.

You know, the subway here in NYC just never runs on time. It never runs on time.

Unless someone’s exiting your Venn Diagram. Then it’s train on time.

Location: 04:00 yest, cabing from 86th and 3rd to home
Mood: disappointed
Music: So … She says it’s time she goes

Happy Halloween

And so and now Somena

Went to a Halloween party I went to with Cain last Wednesday. Had to carry him home. So he had a great time.

Don’t know about you, but when I like a song, I listen to it a million times. Then, whenever I hear that song again, I think about that period in my life.

I listened to The National singing, And so and now I’m sorry I missed you – I had a secret meeting in the basement of my brain all the time during the fall of last year. I remember I kept thinking of my ex. I almost never think of her any more. Weird how that works.

I met my very good friend Somena a year ago on Halloween. She was a librarian. Who says you can’t have meaningful relationships from people you meet in bars? She liked to listen to Secret Meeting and pretend she was a spy.

I’d never tell her but, late at night, on those long walks home, I do the same thing.

Like I said, Venn Diagrams…

Location: 15:30-20:24, locked outta my #$#$@#$! apartment
Mood: just plain irritated
Music: Didn’t anybody tell you how to gracefully disappear in a room?

Boys do make passes

Men do like women that wear glasses, Dorothy

I submit that Dorothy Parker was wrong.

I have a new female roommate – like the last two, she’s stunning. Also like the other two, she’s off limits to me. Mainly because I’m not a creep.

However, she hung out with me, Paul and Cain the other night:

Her: Really? No way…
Me: It’s true. (turning to Paul and Cain) What do you guys think?
Paul: Glasses, definitely.
Cain: Glasses.
Me: (turning back to her) See. We love that. Men also love them because chicks can toss them off all sexy-like. You just can’t do that with contacts. I mean you could…but that’d just be weird.

Location: 19:30 yest, driving through Central Park
Mood: sad
Music: I love the way you say, good morning


Walked with a woman I met on the train


Last Friday, Cain and I went to my friend Gshok’s housewarming. I was feeling a bit down and didn’t want to go but I’m glad I did. It was nice to not think about my worries. The Laura was supposed to come but she got into a car accident on the way there (she’s ok).

We played a rousing game of Taboo; we were tied when Gshok and I did a sudden-death round and my team won. My prize was what you see above.

Saturday, Paul and I made the Lower East Side drinking circuit. Crashed a birthday party, ate some cake (we didn’t wanna but the birthday girl insisted), and hit about five joints before calling it a night.

At 2AM, I bumped into a girl on the street and offered to keep her company on the long walk home, She smiled and said, OK so we walked and chatted for a bit. After we got where we needed to be, she said, Thanks for keeping me safe.

How did you know I’d keep you safe? I asked.

I could tell, she said and then she gave me a hug goodbye but not before I snapped the pic below. Another good deed.

Sunday, woke up just in time for a date with a pretty green-eyed school teacher (GES) I had been orbiting, but more on that later. Went to church and tried to make sense of everything.

It’s Monday. I don’t like Mondays.


Location: 20:30 yest., reintroducing myself on Broadway
Mood: thoughtful
Music: mother feels so shocked Father’s world is rocked