Boy: Are you ok, daddy? Me: Yes. I got lost in my head again is all. Him: (nodding) OK, papa.
After a lotta soul-searching and talking to the mother-in-law, I set the kid up to take an IQ test for a specialized school here.
We met the tester in his office just off Columbus Circle, not far at all from where I got my ACL diagnosis. The tester was an older fella and sat the kid at a little table with alla these 3d plastic/wooden shapes on it.
He asked I would leave the room and sit outside. Was worried because the kid doesn’t do well with strangers, especially men. But he was cool.
Me: Papa’s right outside, ok? Him: (nodding) OK, daddy.
And I paced in the waiting room. Cause that’s what I do.
30 minutes later, the boy opened the door with a big smile and said, “Come in, papa!”
The tester said I wouldn’t be given the results for a while but I was happy because both he and the kid seemed to be in good spirits.
The boy and I walked outside to the hallway and something about the door sign seemed familiar. That’s when I realized that it was the same medical center that Alison went for health problems before the cancer.
We were standing in the same hallway as she did once a month for years.
That took my breath away. Like alla these unexpected blows. And I struggled to keep my composure as we traveled home.
It was my father’s birthday this week, you see. And this was yet another sad something to think about.
Problem is, I can never stop thinking things. As I made dinner, I dropped two dishes and spilled his milk.
Afterward, I sat at my computer while the kid watched TV. There was a long message there from Mouse.
She was just telling me about this crazy solo trip she decided to take this month and finished with some unexpected kindness.
Swear, she reads my mind, sometimes. I didn’t know what to write back so I just dashed off something short and innocuous.
But I felt better. After all, somewhere, on the other side of the world, there’s this pretty girlie I was thinking of, who thought of me.
Anywho, everything’s a seesaw of emotions these days. Then again, I suppose up and down is better than just down.
As I mentioned earlier, Mouse and I saw each other over the blackout. We were originally going to get a bite to eat downtown and then hit up Solas again but the trains stopped at Times Square.
Me: Wanna walk to Koreatown? Mouse: Sure.
The next thing you know, we’re in a private room in restaurant near the gym.
Her: This is so cool! Me: (nodding) Yeah, but I’m starving.
We ended up getting mostly full there and then heading to the same bar we went to once before with some other friends.
In hindsight, I shoulda taken the opportunity to speak to her about things but I assumed she didn’t want to talk.
Evidently, I’m not good at reading her cues. Working on it.
Fast forward to this past week when she messaged me.
Her: Where are you? Me: Just got back from the gym, why? Her: I’m out with coworkers and my boss wants to meet you. Wanna come by? Me: Right now? (thinking) Send me your location. Her: Yes. Fraunces Tavern. Downtown.
Less than four minutes later, I was on a downtown train to see her, her co-workers, and her boss.
It was pretty interesting but this is getting long so I’ll tell you about it in the next entry.
In the meantime, here’s a vid I made for her blog but she can’t post videos for some reason so I’m posting it here.
We hung out that night and for the rest of the week before she went home to…Berlin.
Berlingirl, Caligirl, and Gradgirl, all crossed my mind recently for related, but different, reasons.
For one, all three were/are unavailable to me – also for different reasons. In fact Caligirl, once chided me about only spending time with unavailable women years ago in this sad little blog.
She was wrong at the time; I was looking for Alison. However, if she said something similar now, I’d find it hard to argue with her.
Caligirl, if you’re reading this, we’re good.
And I recently had a dream about Gradgirl; we weren’t …us. I mean, we were, but not. It’s hard to explain.
If things were different, well, I’m sure you can guess. But time and chance and alla that.
Which brings us back to Berlingirl.
Doorbell rings. Boy: (opening door, yells) It’s your friend!! Her: (to boy) Hello there! (smiling) Hello, Logan. Me: (laughing, walking to the door) Hello, Berlingirl. You’ve met the boy, of course. (later) Can I interest you in a walk with us? Her: Yes!
Berlingirl crossed my mind because she came to town with her family – and boyfriend – the other day. She stopped by to see the kid and me.
Me: To be clear, you told your boyfriend you were coming to see me, right? Sorry, I’ve all these rules. Plus, I’ve been on the other side where a girlfriend snuck around on me and it was humiliating. I’d hate to do that to anyone. Her: Of course! You’re so…good. Me: (laughing) Sheyah. Now, how’d you convince him to take time out of your vacation to see a guy you dated? Her: (shrugging) I told him the truth – that you were nice. The real nice, not the “nice” Americans say when they want to be mean. I told him you were…a good guy. Me: (laughing) I’ll take it.
This entry’s getting super long, so I’ll finish it later on this week.
Been dealing with a lotta admin stuff for myself and the kid. None of it fun or interesting. So I’ve been lax with my updates.
But Halloween’s coming up, which reminds me that I went to Comic Con this past month.
It was just like the last time I went, all those years ago: I got a message one Sunday morning; my cousin and a mutual friend of ours had an extra tix to Comic Con.
So off I went.
Alison was alive the last time I was there. Everything reminds me of her, of course.
When I got there, the place was a madhouse; it took a while to find everyone in our group.
We immediately stopped by a booth where I promptly got flanked and choked.
Couldn’t stay long because I had to pick up the kid.
But it was nice to be outta house and at something fun, if only for a short while.
Back to the irritation.
Me: Ma’am, you’re telling me that my infant son and I are both losing our insurance this month? Her: (long pause) Yes. Unless I could speak to your wife. Me: Ma’am, if anyone could speak to my wife again, it’d be me and I’d never let her stop talking. (sighing) Get comfortable. This’ll take a bit to explain…
Every once in a while, I think I’m on a good track
Got two bits of reader mail last month – one from England, no less – for my dating books, both from women, which I find interesting since I was worried that most of my readers would be men.
Really made my day.
I read both of your books, A Great Online Dating Profile and A Great First Date in the beginning of the year. In taking into consideration some of the suggestions, I tinkered with the online profile and reduced content where it made sense.
It seems that the quality of guys in contact have gone up, and while I can’t say there is a happily ever after (Logan: Yet!), I’m definitely enjoying the attention that’s come my way!
Thanks for putting yourself out there – please know your efforts in writing have changed some of our lives for the better! Happy Holidays!
All the best,
[After going through your tips] I have avoided all the usual ghastly intro lines, which on Match is the first bit you see when you scroll through the list of profiles, but I know it could be better.
After one week’s membership I have four dates arranged for next week, have been favourited 40 times, and messaged, and (been) visited countless times.
Last night I said goodbye to an old friend, which is a post for next week maybe. And then said hello to eight college buddies for our semi-regular meetup.
We met up at Korean restaurant called Jongro BBQ that I’d not been to before.
We picked the coldest night of the week to do it but it turned out for the best since most of the joint was empty.
It’s fashioned like an old time Korean village complete with signposts and a bike that we all debated if we should try to ride.
Gar: Well, let’s order first. Should we get some steak or ribs? Or maybe some steak tartare? Me: Yes.
We also had some unaged, unfiltered rice wine that looked like soymilk and served in chilled metal bowls. Delicious.
Ox: What do you think? Me: I like any alcohol I can get in a plastic bottle. SJ: And with a twist-off cap!
Afterwards, we ended up playing something they called credit card roulette. We all put our credit cards into a bag and the waiter picked out four of them; the four he picked didn’t have to pay while the other four picked up the tab. I was on the losing side.
Me: Dammit! Ox: Looks like all the lawyers have to pick up the tab. Me: Nobody likes lawyers. SJ: At least you’re not Cappy, he had to pick up the tab himself last time.
Afterward we caught some drinks over at a nearby bar.
Me: (to waiter) Seven Old Fashions with rye and a martini. Do you need to write it down? SJ: (laughing) Yeah, Logan, he needs to write down, “Seven Old Fashions with rye and a martini.”
After the drinks came, we settled into more more conversations. We’d all known each other 23 some odd years, which boggles my mind.
Ox: You know, my wife and I read your blog on occasion. Duck: Yeah, I read it too sometimes. Me: Ah, thanks. I always wonder if anyone reads it. Gar: Man, you have some opinions! Me: I am nothing if not opinionated. Then again, what do I know?
I had an early morning phone conference so one of the guys and I headed over to the west side to catch the train uptown.
Jeffe: It was good seeing everyone. We should do it more often. Me: More than every six years at least. Good seeing you man, get home safe.
Me? I look at the ability to walk down the street and not be concerned about getting shanked a gift.
Speaking of gifts, after 9/11, people around the world sent their condolences and … stuff. Nations flew their flags at half-mast, dignitaries cried. What one might expect.
But a small tribe of Masai warriors in remote Kenya also heard about 9/11. Most had not even seen a plane before and couldn’t fathom buildings that tall. But they understood the magnitude of what had happened.
Google will replace a cracked Nexus 5 screen for free
Was out in Brooklyn meeting a client in the summer heat two days ago. Got mixed up and ended up being 20 minutes late – and I’m rarely late. Not a good start to a rough meeting.
Grabbed a bus to avoid walking in the heat and, when it lurched, heard a crack in my back pocket. My less-than-six-months-old Google Nexus 5 just bit the dust.
Then I got home and got confirmation that I lost my biggest and oldest client; they hired an in-house counsel. All-in-all, a rough day.
But then I saw more headlines for ISIS and the poor fella that they killed.
And my friend – who works for a non-profit – told me that he just received an email.
It seems that, because of the ebola epidemic, prices for food and other staple items are skyrocketing. The people he works with in Sierra Leone – who are a very, very proud people – were asking for a slight and temporary stipend to be able to afford food to feed their family.
How much were they asking for?
$20 extra. For the month.
Suddenly, I felt really ridiculous about my worst day.
While writing this, UPS came by with my replacement phone. In less than 24 hours. Amazing.
The following are charities that work in Ebola-afflicted countries and all have three or four stars from Charity Navigator. Skip your morning coffee, send them a fivver, and feel good about the rest of your day.