The purpose of life is…

Lake in Central Park

Let’s play a game; finish this sentence and then I’ll see you on the other side of this quick post:

The purpose of life is ______________.

———-

Got an email the other day from out of the blue from someone I dated.

…and i know this is random, but for what it’s worth, thank you for never having sex with me, when we were seeing each other. i wish i could expand on that further, but something tells me that i don’t really have to, i know you understand.

Also got an email and $40 from my friend 0utre cause I sent her slim coin for a paring knife a few years back when I had some spare scratch.

I took that paring knife with me everywhere. I won’t ever forget your kindness to me then and now, may we meet someday so I can return the kindness once again in person in a more human manner. Kindest Regards.

Finally, someone else wrote me and said,

Logan, you don’t know me – well, that’s not completely true. I met you once and you mentioned the blog so I read you. And keep reading. The funny thing is that I find myself saying things that you said in your blog in conversations with other people. And I wanted to say thanks because you make me think of good things. Most things I read don’t.

———-

Everyone finishes that sentence differently. Here’s the thing – how you finish that sentence shapes how you live your life (or vice versa).

Consider how differently these guys live their lives:

  • The purpose of life is to have a good time.
  • The purpose of life to become closer to God.
  • The purpose of life is to raise good members of society.
  • The purpose of life it to get what you can, when you can.
  • The purpose of life is to live for the moment.

My answer?

Well, suppose that’s a post for another time. Do wanna say that it was very different not that long ago when I was friends with the Devil and didn’t have to unwrap my food. In fact, it was onea the above.

Which one? That too’s a post for a different time, yeah?

But I wanna say thanks to the girlie I dated, Outre and my anonymous fan. Maybe I’m on the right path to fulfilling my true purpose.

Location: 18:30 yest, watching geese in the Hudson
Mood: grateful
Music: hold on, hold on let me get the words out before I burst

God help us – Ole!

Location: my pad, all day
Mood: sore-throat-y
Music:
is this the ceremony? I don’t know, well I don’t mind

I’m sick. Not pig flu. Don’t think. Just tired with a horrible sore throat. Send soup.

So I’ve been reading and watching stuff. The above vid’s prob the best thing I’ve seen in a while. I said once before, that being grateful is the key to not being broken. Sorta what she’s talking about.

One other interesting thing was from Heartgirl. She sent me this from the tiny government that manages to cling to political survival in Somalia – it’s their response to the swine flu.

SOMALIA: No capacity to deal with such pandemics due to the prolonged civil war and destruction of medical facilities. “We are not prepared for anything like the swine flu; we don’t have the means to deal with it,” Awad Abdi, adviser to the Somali Health Ministry said. God help us if it reaches here….

How sad and comical is that, all at once?

YASYCTAI: Watch the vid, you’ll thank me. (19.29 mins/1 pt)

The California Sun

Location: Santa Monica in my head
Mood: tired but hopeful
Music: something always comes up something always makes her stay


Me and my Mom
Her: You’re always seeing someone.
Me: No, I mean I’m seeing someone…
Her: (puts down hula hoop) Wait, what does that mean? (excitedly) Are you getting married soon? Is she nice? Does she want kids? What’s her name?
Me: (sighs) Clearly, I’ve just made a grave error in judgment.

Me and my Brother
Him: When I left NYC for LA, I had two suitcases and a guitar. Then when I left LA for Miami, had a house fulla crap, a cat, and a wife.
Me: And now that you’re moving back to LA?
Him: Well (thinking) I still have a house fulla crap and the cat (pause) But I’ve since shed the wife tho…

The cool thing about the people that you’re close to is the shorthand language you’ve got.

My brother used to sing in a bar while in med school. One song was about this singer in a bar that loved a waitress named Rachel who wanted to move to LA. The guy didn’t know what to say, so he just said, if you find me one, I’d love a picture of the California sun.

For years my bro said he’d move to LA. Always joked that if he ever did, I’d want a postcard from LA. Then one day he just up and left with two suitcases and a guitar. Spur of the moment thing. Poof.

Week or so later, got a postcard with a picture of the California sun and not much else. Didn’t need much else. I remember that I sat down on my striped sofa and cleared my throat. Then I cleared a place for it on my fridge.

Somewhere through the years, lost it. Stupid roommates.

S’ok though – lookee what I got today:

YASYCTAI: Send someone a nice picture. If y’got time, send me one too. (1 mins/0.5 pts)

My favorite picture

Location: 21:00 punching someone off West End Ave
Mood: excited
Music: don’t have to wait for words I can walk away and listen to the birds

Had the best news tonight when I realized that I had no one to share it with. Called someone because I wanted to but she didn’t pick up. Sad but not completely unexpected.

Gonna keep some more things to myself if you don’t mind; let’s just say, I got a tiny win today. Just a little. And that’s something.

Also, my fencing instructor said I was high intermediate – just under expert, which made me all sortsa warm and fuzzy too, in a cutthroat kinda way. I also talked to L and Pretty Jenny, botha whom reminded me how nice it is to have friends that are still on your side.

Finally, I found this picture after months of looking for it. It’s one of my favorites. I think that’s a hawk in the NYC sky.

Hey there, blue sky. Did y’miss me?

I’ve missed you.

One good thing

Thank Goodness for the Good Souls

I pray every night. Dunno if you knew that.

Last night, I said, I know I’ve been given so much already but can I just get one good thing tomorrow? Just to help me through this rough patch? I got several.

  • I passed my exam!
  • You guys sent me both happy and stupid.
  • Six friends called me to see how I was and I had this following conversation recently about my situation:

Me: …so that’s what happened.
Him: Wow, I’m sorry.
Me: Yeah, I don’t see how it could be worse.
Him: (thinking) My father just died. He’s all the family I had. I’m a 29-year old orphan now.
Me: (pause) Well, that beats me. (laughing) I got your drink.

Thank goodness for the good souls, yeah?

———-

This will be my last post on my situation until I resolve it. I’ll be back with the irrelevant tomorrow.

Location: 9PM, fencing in the UWS
Mood: terrible
Music: One good day of the week and I’ll be up again

Globetrotting Pt. I

Trip to Europe: New York to Paris, to Nates, to Bruges

Couldn’t even begin to tell you about the day I had. I’ll tell you in two weeks. Promise.

For now, my trip:

20070928
Packed this morning but Jim forgot to confirm our ride. So I took the train to 34th and 7th Ave, where, like a $10 hooker, I stood on the corner to wait for a shiny silver car to pick me up.

For international flights you gotta be checked in at least an hour before the plane departs. We were scheduled for 5:55. We arrived at 4:53. After some well handled pleading, we got in. We went to the clubroom where I had a scotch (no good rum available).

We hopped on the plane and I listened to Good Souls as the plane leveled off.

20070929
Arriving in Charles de Gaule, we took the train to Nates where a driver picked us up and took us to the Hotel Hermitage in La Boule, France. It was a beautiful yet vapid place – the food was surprisingly mediocre – the hamburger I had there was one of the worst I’ve ever had it cost $40.

Was certain it’d come with a massage at that price but I was wrong.

Walking on the beach, I took the picture of a happy couple above and thought, Someday…

20070930
Cocktail parties, meet and greets, nothing of substance.

Jim and I went over to the local town where we had a plate of seafood. It was also ok; about 50% snails and not our cup of tea. I had five snails, Jim had four. Not terrible, not great.

Man, these French like to smoke. Meanwhile, the waitresses are smoking. Huh.

I wanted to tell her, “Use me, abuse me, make me write bad checks” but then I remembered I don’t speak French. So, instead we made the international symbol of check please by scribbling in the air.

Walking down the beach, I felt the cool wind in my hair.

20071001
Grabbed a ride to Nates to catch a plane to the Netherlands. There we hopped on board a private jet where the stewardesses were all dressed in the sexiest damn outfits I’ve ever seen.

Some killer food on the plane – better than most of the meals I have at home (though that’s scant surprise).

We then took a bus to our ship as I heard a blue jean baby sing.

20071002
On ship with a balcony and view. It’s where I took this video. Meetings, food, sun. Drank way too much. Got hit on by a bunch of gay guys. Great.

Not a single girl of my type in the group so I snuck out and chatted with the cute matre’d from one of the ship restaurants, Alexandra. I told her to ring me if she was ever in my town and she said she would.

I thought that I don’t wanna be walked on just before I fell asleep.

20071003
Went to Bruges, Belgium from the Netherlands to have lunch at the Half Moon Brewery. It was interesting, the food and beer was topnotch BUT it totally wasn’t worth the three hours it took to get there and the three hours it took to get back.

The ship set sail for Rotterdam (above pic in the lobby of the New York Hotel there) and I heard someone say that everyone’s taken everything they can. I don’t think that’s true. I hope that’s not true.

More tomorrow.

Location: 3PM, staring at several Glocks in Queens
Mood: indescribable
Music: see the words in italics above

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Not enough time

Going on a quick trip around the world

I got it.

I’m going to Paris on Friday.

Then Nantes, Groningen, and Rotterdam, three blurry days for Oktoberfest in Munich, then Brussels, Innsbruck, Dover, and London.

Work, in a manner of speaking. My somewhat peculiar and particular skill set.

What it is doesn’t matter.

Cause I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go…

————

If you send me your email address, Fiona and I’ll send you a postcard.

Location: 2AM with Nadi and Anne on my porch
Mood: completely sotted
Music: This life would just be so easy
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A little kindness

The world can be a nice place sometimes

Got a package in the mail the other day from The Laura. She had sent me some clothes because she mentioned that she had some in my size.

The thing is that we’ve only ever met three times and each time very briefly. So the gesture was all the more appreciated because it was so unwarranted. She even sent a lovely card.

Thanks!

———

Berlingirl stopped by on Sunday. She’s going home this week and I’m most likely in Syracuse by the time you read this so we won’t see each other again for a while.

But I told her that she has a friend in NYC if she ever comes back.

Me: It was nice meeting you too.
Her: (smiling) Will you see that girl you like this week?
Me: I hope so.
Her: (She smiled, leaned in and gave me a kiss) Strange. I’ve never kissed a German-speaking, Chinese-American in a Mexican museum exhibit before.
Me: And now you have.
Her: (laughing) Yes, I have. I hope you have a happy life, Logan.

You too.

The world can be a nice place sometimes. I forget.

Ich vergesse so viel…aber du vergesse ich nie. Gute reise!

Location: 6:30PM yest, saying tschüss @ 72nd & Broadway
Mood: grateful
Music: by and by, I’ll fly away

Camera Obscura

Wondering if I should play hooky and see a concert

 

Argh! Camera Obscura is playing live and free tonight at the South Street Seaport at 8PM.

Was planning to stay in tonight for the first time in months just to prep for the exam but these guys are so awesome.

Should I go? Man, I’m so torn…

Location: about to run out the door
Mood: confused
Music: I’ve got my life of complication here to sort out

I’m ok

Was just in a car accident

But my car is totaled. There was a picture up there but I deleted it because I’m trying to forget it.

Instead, here’s a picture of the blue sky.

Thank god the girl I was with, who was in the passenger seat, was wearing a seatbelt too because she’s fine too. I had just met her.

I’m still a little muddle-headed.

—–

Thanks for all the kind words. I’m going to make an appointment with the doc today.

My neck’s a bit stiff but hopefully that’ll clear up.

I just spoke to the girl; she went to work but is leaving early because she’s going to see the doc. This was only our second date. At least we’ll both remember each other vividly.

Well, in a way, this is a good date story, no? We both walked away almost completely unscathed.

On another note entirely, I was actually sleeping well last week.

Last night…not so much.

Location: 1:30AM, sitting on a curb in Harlem, praying
Mood: freaked out
Music: When i look at my life, oh me, oh my