Hit or miss

Met another woman and asked her to draw a picture for me

Her: Will you call her?
Me: Possibly. These thing are hit or miss.
Her: But you got her number, right?
Me: Better.
Her: Better?
Me: I told her to draw a picture of herself. This way, I’ll know which one she is.

Location: 2AM, Sway
Mood: Sotted
Music: That pretty red dress
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Why?

People are looking for relationships for different reasons. Here’s mine

People ask me all the time why I’m looking.

The pathetically honest answer is that when I’m with someone, I sleep just a little bit better. Maybe ten percent. It’s enough. I do it so I can sleep ten percent better. Crazy.

It’s not about sex. It’s about something else – and that’s a different post; but if you’ve read me enough, I’m sure you could guess.

You remember the last time you didn’t get a good night’s sleep? You look at your clock and do that mental math – if I fall asleep right now, I can get four hours sleep? Three hours. Two. Forty minutes. You remember how horrible you felt the next day?

Yeah, that’s me every two weeks for 20 years.

I’ve avoided talking about insomnia for almost two months but here we are.

Another date today. Another pretty face. Biker. It usually takes about three dates for either the girl or me to call it quits. Goes either way.

Hazel thinks I’m luckier than most cause I meet so many people but I tell her that it just means I’m disappointed and I disappoint more frequently. I know it’s crazy. I know it.

And yet I sit. I smile. I ask, So, what’s your story?

Inside I hope, this time’s the last time.

Location: 2PM yest, in front of the Flatiron saying, Bye
Mood: awake
Music: Tell me, where is the shepherd
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Girl with a pretty face vs. A pretty girl

A very strange night to add to my list of very strange nights

 

I crashed this party with some friends including an old friend, Buckley, whom I’ve known for 14 years. He’s a decent fellow. The problem’s that he’s 36 and he still thinks that drinking to excess is somehow cool.

I crash a lotta parties cause I get along with everyone. But Buckley was a slobbering, augmentative drunk. Before I knew it, he was being tossed out by this group of guys at the behest of the birthday girl. It was a whole production with me having to get between them all.

Ugh.

Eventually, we got him into a cab and I walked back with Hazel and Kane to apologize to the birthday girl. I should mention now that the birthday girl has a pretty face.

Here’s the thing. It’s NYC. You can’t go two feet without running into a girl with a pretty face. They’re like a dime-a-dozen. I’m pretty calloused to girls with pretty faces. But as I’m apologizing to her, she’s apologizing back to me. She said, I’m sorry I was being so douchey.

This whole time, everyone is staring at our exchange because I think they all expected some beef. Instead, she and I are smiling and laughing, like we’re old friends. She said I came off as good guy and I told her that I thought she was just really all that.

As we’re talking, she went from being a pretty face to a pretty girl. There’s a very big difference between the two. Like the difference between gold paint and gold.

She invited us to come back in but I told her that we came back purely to apologize. We chatted a bit more before I gave her a hug that she returned. If things were different, I might have given her my number. Then again, the poor girl’s been through enough.

It’s not all the time that people’s insides match their outsides. My ex said mine don’t.

It’s nice to meet someone whose stuff did.

Location: 7:15PM yest, saying hi at church
Mood: tired
Music: we throw parties, you throw knives
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September

My year really starts in September

Busy week. My rule to never say no to an invite came back to bite me last week. I was out every night after returning from Baltimore. Both my liver and my wallet hate me.

Saw a curly-haired girl from NYC, a grey-eyed blond from down south, and a brunette actress from Berlin, whom I suppose should be called Berlingirl.

For the first time in months, I find myself thinking about one particular girl. I’m trying not to dwell on it her too much, but it’s not easy.

Still, Fall’s my favorite season and I was alone(ish) last time around. Some company this year would be nice.

Not absolutely necessary but nice.

Hey, when does your year start? Does it start in January like most people? Or on your birthday?

Or September? Mine starts in September. Probably cause I was a student for so long.

And when you’re a fat, clumsy, geek, no one calls you to come out to play over summers. Plus camp’s for people with spare scratch.

For kids like me, summer’s just three months of solitude.

I can’t hardly wait for Fall to come.

Seriously, bring it, bring it, bring it…

Location: 10PM yest, saying goodbye and then hello on Broadway
Mood: excited again
Music: One eye on the winter Oh there’s just a hint of soviet snow

Time after time

 

Met another young lady tonight.

Asked her what we the most difficult part about dating in the big city.

Her: I’d have to say the disappointment. I keep hoping this time’ll be different…
Me: Huh. (pause) Funny you say that…

Huh.

See you Tuesday guys, be safe.

Location: 12AM Columbus, having this conversation
Mood: thoughtful
Music: circles. Confusion. Is nothing new?
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No Such Thing

There’s no such thing as a pickup line

Summer’s not my season. Bad, bad, bad things happen to me in summer.

Fall, however, is my season. I woke up all week thinking its fall.

Woke up happy all week.

———-

Been hanging with these guys Paul and Sheridan a lot lately. Recently, Paul and I were at party with an old friend/legal client of mine and a group of us got talking.

Girl1: What do you mean?
Me: There’s no such thing as a line. Look, if you’re attracted to me, I could walk up to you, say anything, anything, and you’d respond positively. In college, my friend Crawford would walk up to a girl, go Whoo-Hooo! and ten minutes later they’re making out.
Girl2: I disagree, what a guy says matters.
Me: To an extent, yes. But I think it’s less about the content and more the conveyance. Say a cute chick walked up to me and started talking to me in French with a wink’n smile; the content, which I wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t matter to me. I’d just be thinking, Hey…
Girl1: That’s cause you’re a guy.
Me: No. (sighing) It’s cause I know. When you like someone, they can do no wrong; when you don’t, they can do no right.

Starting tagging things not a pickup line just so you can see what I mean.

Location: in front of a bunch of computer parts in Queens
Mood: busy
Music: the good boys and girls take the so called right track

Coincidences

Told a woman where to go to randomly run into me

Why, Electronic Gods? What have I done to anger you so?

Truth be told, one of the people I randomly ran into on Saturday wasn’t all that coincidental.

Me: BTW, my mobile is 212.479.7990 should you want to randomly run into me tonight downtown around 11PM at 9th and second in a bar called Solas (not the number I actually gave her).
Her: You’re cute…if I want to randomly run into you at Solas! Well you never know…
Me: I’ll let you buy me a drink.
Her: (laughing) Funny
Me: What are you talking about?
Her: We’ll see.

Fair enough…

Location: 5PM yest, in Flushing asking for extra sauce
Mood: see music
Music: I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad
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On our toes

We’re lovely, you should meet more of us

Her: You’re the first Asian guy I’ve ever been attracted to.
Me: Ah, you’re missing out. We’re lovely. Plus, wait until you meet the really good looking ones.

I recently hung out with Burn, one of the girls I met a couple weeks back.

She’s very cool. We’re not each other’s types, mainly because she’s looking for a nice Jewish boy and my last serious relationship made it clear that’s not a route I’m interested in traveling again.

Burn’s a dance coach and she was with about a half-dozen of her fellow dancers Friday night. My luck running straight and true, all lovely ivy-league grads, none age appropriate.

Doesn’t matter though, still a fun night. I’m sure I’ll see her again as she lives around the way and I like her company.

I love that you really never know what’s coming up next in NYC.

Keeps us on our toes, yeah?

I love being on my toes.

Location: 11PM, asking for her name again on 6th Ave
Mood: happy
Music: I fall on the floor and I’m laughing
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Norwegian Wood

Waking up in Brooklyn and Hotel Logan

Me: So what’s your story morning glory? Why do you look so blue?
Her: (pause) Wow, does that line actually work?
Me: You’re talking to me, aren’t you?
Her: (pause, laughter)

Woke up somewhere in Brooklyn yesterday.

For details, just listen to Norwegian Wood. It’s accurate up to the part that goes I told her I didn’t; instead of lighting a fire, I watched Love Actually, instead of stumbling to the bath, I slept on her sofa and instead of her, I flew.

It was a fun night but something that Sabatoa posted popped in my head at 2AM.

I never think I should take what I can; I always think I should get what I want.

You know, I never got her name or number.

But she was 29. She had hazel eyes.

———-

My female friends often crash at my pad knowing they’re as safe as houses. The local doormen think I’m on a tear. We know the truth.

Her: I made it here without you having to carry me.
Me: That’s always a plus.
Her: (in sleepy German) Will you be here when I wake?
Me: I live here – where would I go?

Location: 7AM yest, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Mood: happy & pensive
Music: We talked until two And then she said It’s time for bed
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Biscuit?

Three dates

Blue Eyes

Me: (joking) You’re not a pescatarian are you?
Her: No.
Me: Good.
Her: I’m a Lacto-ovo vegetarian.
Me: (nodding slowly) Of course you are.

Brown Eyes

Her: I don’t think this is gonna work out.
Me: I’m surprisingly ok with that. (handing her a breadbasket) Biscuit?
Her: (shrugging) Sure.

I think I hate dating.

Green Eyes

Her: (after thinking) I liked that.
Me: That’s good. I may do it again.
Her: (pause) OK.

OK, fine, that last one was nice, but still…

Location: 8PM yest, going east on the LIE
Mood: better
Music: I really love your peaches wanna shake your trees
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