Hello…what?

Don’t want to comment on all the tragedy; there’s enough. So, here’s four happy/stupid:

  1. Instead of a birthday cake, I had a low-fat, low-carb ice cream sandwich. It was great good not so bad.
  2. CindyE sang me Happy Birthday, in-aeternum sent me an amazing gift, in_a_silver_bag sent me a picture of soup, and so many of you guys left me comments – I can’t even tell you how that made my day. Plus people remembered that I didn’t think would and people forgot that I didn’t think would. All good. Finally, katsmw digitaldewi, and frieseurfrau, all mentioned me in their journals. Cool.
  3. At least 15 people left me voicemail per my request.
    • I could use some more (especially male) for the project I’m considering. Could you give me a ring? Don’t leave your name if you don’t wanna.
  4. I appreciate all your kind thoughts but here’s my favorite greeting from the past week or so:

Him: Hey, I wanted to wish you a happy b-day. By the way, I’ve got some good dirt.
Me: Sweet, hit me.
Him: Remember when I told you that I ran into your ex out here?
Me: Vaguely…
Him: We totally hooked up. I mean full-on.
Me: (pause) How is that good again?
Him: I meant for me.
Me: (…)
Him: Why’s everything about you? Oh, there’s my ride, I’m out. Happy Birthday!
Me: (…)

I’ve decided that hope is good.

Thanks for the hope.

Location: on my birthday, in the UWS, swinging sticks around
Mood: happy
Music: built my life around you but time makes you bolder Even children get older

Hole

I’m always working through a few things

I can’t believe no one sent me soup.

Despite my better judgment, just walked in the door from a night with the guys. I took the long walk home to clear my head and sober me up. I got in at 2AM on Monday and now 3AM on Thursday.

I’m turning 34 next week, I’ve gotta stop with these mid-week late nights. Then again, I don’t really work but that’s neither here nor there.

So, here I am in front of my computer trying to get some things done and my thoughts drift.

I’m feeling philosophical, what with the volume of chemicals in my system. As I said before, all of life’s problems can be traced to health, wealth or relationships. We all have holes in our worlds that go through one of those routes.

Now, I’ve got a hole in all three. I’m trying to fill them as best I can but they seem un-fillable, sometimes. Timing.

Speaking of which, another girl – whom I’ll just call Caligirl and let you guess why – and I were orbiting back in December. We never got together because of my situation back then and I ended up with someone else. Now – well, now, I’ve got a new situation on my mind. She’s nice enough but I’m trying to clear my head.

Her: Hey, I heard you’re seeing someone.
Me: I was. Past tense.
Her: Oh, well…that’s too bad. Not that it’s related (laugh) but, you free for lunch this weekend?
Me: (pause) I’d love to but I think I’m sick. I’m also…working through a few things.
Her: (sigh) Yeah…you’re always working through a few things.

Yeah…I’m always working through a few things.

Location: @2AM, grabbing an uptown train at 14th
Mood: tired
Music: if it’s all the same to you I love you oh so well Like a kid loves candy

I gotta talk to you

Made a bad email faux pas

Me: I’ll just get to the point – you’re gonna be REALLY mad in about 30 seconds.
Him: Why? What’d you do now?
Me: Did you see that episode of The Office where Michael accidentally sends an email to the wrong person?
Him: Oh god…
Me: Well, I forwarded those pics you asked for and my accompanying comments to X.
Him: How do you screw that up?!?!? My name is spelled nothing like her’s.
Me: Yeah, I did it though. I’m really sorry.
Him: …
Me: Hello? You’re really mad, right?
Him: What makes you think that? Because, while I’m working like a dog for coin, you’re dismantling my social life brick-by-brick? No, I’m not mad. Listen, you gotta take the train down here right now.
Me: Uh…sure. Why?
Him: Because I need to strangle you. Don’t wear a turtleneck.

Location: the intersection of embarrassment and stupidity
Mood: mortified
Music: I’m no longer moved to drink strong whiskey

Totally worth it

You pay a price for the things you do

Me: Do you remember hitting me on New Years?
Her: I hit you?! Why?
Me: Well, someone, not me, grabbed your butt and you turned to me and you were all pissed. You asked, “Did you grab my butt?” And I said, “No.”
Her: Did you grab my butt?
Me: No.
Her: Then what happened?
Me: Then I grabbed your butt. And you immediately slapped me.
Her: (pause) Was it any good?
Me: (pause) Yes. It was totally worth it.

We then both laughed. My friends are awesome. She thinks I’m in love with her, I think she’s in love with me. We’re both wrong – a good thing.

We’ll be friends for a long time.

Location: @12:25, Glitter and Doom @ 1000 Fifth Avenue
Mood: mellow
Music: Somehow, I lost my way, looking to see something in your eyes

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