I’m in

I need a weekend for my weekend

 

Him: All expenses paid. Interested?
Me: What am I an idiot? I’m in.

If I get it (or I don’t) I’ll tell you soon. Friday at the latest.

———-

Was out a lot this weekend. Hazel, Bryson, Gio and I went out till 4AM on Thursday night (when I met this girl) and then my brother was in town for the weekend.

I need a weekend for my weekend.

The Grey-Eyed Girl invited a bunch of us out to a party the other day. It was for an ivy league grad thingy and I assumed everyone there was from NYC.

So I end up spending some time with these two really nice girls. Here’s our conversation after we swap info.

Me: So if you’re 24, I’ve gotta think your friend’s like 18.
Girl1: She’s 28.
Me: (shocked) You’re kidding me.
Girl2: It’s the Asian genes.
Me: (nodding) Nice.
Girl2: So what are you? 24?
Me: (laughing) 34.
Girl2: (shocked) You’re kidding me.
Me: It’s the Asian genes.
Girl2: (nodding) Nice.
Me: So are you here for the birthday party?
Girl1: Oh no, we’re just in town from Boston for the weekend.
Me: (laughing) Of course you are.

Never a dull moment.

Location: underneath a ceiling fan in Queens
Mood: tired but hopeful
Music: been happy lately thinking about the good things to come
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Rising

It’s 9/11/2007 today

I’m flying today. I’ve flown for at least three 9/11s since that day.

Ever miss a flight?

I almost missed mine this morning. I’m always almost missing flights. Not because I’m late; today I arrived with almost two hours to spare.

No, I was daydreaming again.

Heard my name on the loudspeaker a coupla times before it fully registered. I rose, grabbed my bag and ran the 30 feet to the gate. The pretty girl at the gate laughed because she said she noticed me staring out at the planes the whole time but assumed I was waiting for the next flight.

Go, go, go
, she said.

Threw her a wink and a smile as I went, went, went.

Right now I’m in another nondescript upstate hotel room by myself listening to sad songs with only you, Tupac and the light from my screen for company. I’m remembering things and people I don’t wanna remember but I can’t forget.

And still I rise…

Location: 13601, talking to Somena
Mood: pensive
Music: Please give me to the sky
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Pets, Pt. III

 

Caffeineguy’s entry will explain. I miss my pets.

———-

Client: I need you in Syracuse next week. (pause) Think of it as a roadtrip.
Me: (scoffing) Sheeyah…

———-

Conversations with a friend:

Him: So basically, we’d be renting out small dogs for guys that wanna meet chicks.
Me: Well, what’s gonna happen when the betty actually shows up at the guy’s house and there’s no dog?
Him: That’s the brilliant part, he can just go, “Oh, Spike got hit by a car.” Then he also gets the sympathy vote too.
Me: Well, that’s just insane.
Him: Plus imagine we get a dog with only three legs. (pause) That’d be like…like gold!
Me: You’re going to hell.

Me? I’m going to Syracuse…

Location: 8PM yest, 6th and 3rd with Nadi & some rum
Mood: amused
Music: I’d rather be with…I’d rather be with an animal
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Bye Betty

Saw my friend Betty for dinner

Was supposed to do all these things yesterday. Instead, I went for a walk; cleaned up my pad; did some laundry; read some magazines; even cleaned out the fish tank.

Felt normal again – well, as normal as I get.

KG Betty is on a plane but we had a long talk before she left. She said she might visit Germany but she’d never move back. Her friends are all over the world now; home isn’t home any more.

Like me, she’s working her way through the world.

In 2002, I was supposed to attend the University of Dresden for a graduate program in Chinese Political Science and Law (I’m geek, what can I say).

But then I met this chick…

Ultimately, our lives are just strings of choices we make, like those Choose Your Own Adventure books from childhood.

Think I got off schedule somewhere between Chapters Three and Four.

But it’s been hella fun.

Well, Hello Weekend!

Did ya miss me?

Location: 4PM yest, walking down Broadway
Mood: content
Music: I hope you’re thinking about me daily
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Still thinking of the other side

If we fail, let’s fail greatly

Saw my friend Skinny tonight. He’s on his way to Japan to a new life.

I’m secretly a little jealous, but happy for him too.

Teddy Roosevelt once said that of the person who tries something bold and new:

at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

I’m always impressed by who just pick up and go. Thought so many times about moving here or here. But I never did.

Don’t know why I don’t just get to the other side.

Someday.

Until then, Skinny, if you meet a nice (non-pescatarian) Japanese girl, send her my way?

I’ll be here. I’m ever here.

Location: 10PM, yest., with friends
Mood: sotted
Music: What does this city have to offer me
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Fancy meeting you here

I’m running into too many people I know

I’m away again.

After this past weekend, I’m actually slightly glad to be somewhere else.

I love my city, don’t get me wrong. But when you’ve lived in one place for, basically, your whole life, you’re bound to keep ending up at familiar places.

And running into old ghosts.

Him: So, are you a partner somewhere yet?
Me: Not so much. (pause) I’m writing, actually.
Him: Oh. That’s…cool. Are you and that girl married now?
Me: Well, she’s married. Not to me though. Kid any day now.
Him: Oh! (pause) Are you happy at least?
Me: (thinking) I’m happy in my head.

Location: 20 feet from the middle of nowhere
Mood: busy
Music: Who? I really wanna know Who are you?

Hanging with Nadi

Conversations with Nadya

 

Nadi: Oh god, why don’t you ever write about when you actually succeed?
Me: What’s the fun there? Met a girl, we hooked up, blah, blah, blah. There’s no story there. Plus, you know I don’t kiss and tell.
Nadi: At least put something there. It’s depressing otherwise.
Me: There’s a fine line between hopeless romantic womanizer and sleezeball player.
Nadi: But it always sounds like, “Oh poor sad sack Logan screwed up with another girl.”
Me: Maybe I’ll put up a 10-to-1 ratio of…wait…sad sack?
Nadi: A ratio might be…
Me: Sad sack?!
Nadi: Look, all I’m saying is…
Me: Whaddya mean, sad sack?! Do people feel sorry…
Nadi: FOCUS, LOGAN!

May be focusing too much at times. How’s your dating life going?

Me, I’m out and about. But I’m also waiting.

After some modicum of attraction, there is only ever two things any relationship needs, and neither one of these things is love.

The two things are loyalty and fun. Everything good comes from these two.

Everything bad comes from when one or both are missing.

If you find someone with these three things, you’re doing well.

But more on that later. Right now, gotta catch a plane.

Location: in Queens, packing
Mood: full & sick
Music: When we were close I’ll remember these things the most

Ain’t she fly?

Decided to name my camera “Fiona”

edit: There was a vid of me up with really dark circles under my eyes but I’ve since taken it down. Thanks for all the concerned comments last time around.

Very kind, but unwarranted.

Because I’m always hopeful.

BTW, I’m going to call my camera Fiona.

So now, if I go, it’ll be me, Harold and Fiona.

Location: my own blue bed
Mood: sick but excited
Music: My method is uncertain It’s a mess but it’s working
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72nd to Canal Episode 1 – Part 2

Let’s have a code, you and I

Met a nice girl recently. She lives…quite far away. Thus, no shiny future for the two us. Sad, really.

Still, another pretty friend in the world is nothing to shake a stick at.

And we both know that I’m the type of guy just that’ll just up and go someday.

Let’s have a code, you and I; should I ever just leave suddenly, I’ll post Gone Fishing!

Nothing else.

Then you’ll know.

You’ll know I cashed in those miles, packed my bags, sold the car, gave away Harold and the fish, and left. I’d be elsewhere.

Actually, I’d bring Harold.

I think he’d like to see the world too.

Location: nowhere special
Mood: cloudy
Music: I’m tired of whys choking on whys Just need a little because
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My real life

 Have I blinked and missed it all?

Logan Lo in Prague
Reading by the Vltava river, two years ago.

The show’s tomorrow but I’m in the attic of my mind right now, putting stuff away.

I spent 34 years waiting for my real life to begin.

Now, I’m worried that I’ve blinked and missed it.

I’ll be back writing on Monday.

I think.

1:26:32 AM
Location: yest. @ 2PM, an office, getting another job offer I’ll never take
Mood: nostalgic
Music: Any minute now my ship is coming in