Her: Well, you have low, or no, creepiness factor and you dress well. A girl’s gotta know.
Me: I would think by now, you’d have figured it out.
Her: You could be bi.
Me: Oh for…
Been doing the online dating thing. Four months ago, it was about 90% RL and 10% online, then it flipped (please don’t search for me, that’s just stalkerish and weird). Lately, it’s about 50/50.
Dating in general is tiring – the constant hellos and goodbyes. But like most things, on the net it happens faster; the disappointing and disappointments zip by and I don’t even have time to register them. Still meeting lots of pescatarians. Don’t ask.
This weekend, I took a break. Friday, stayed in, cooked, and watched a Law & Order marathon. Saturday fenced and then Paul and I saw CaptainRedStar and crew. Ran into L – twice in a week. Bumped into each other earlier Tuesday at Candyfiend‘s party. We’re always so busy.
On another point entirely, decided to act and dress my age. There’s a story there, but it’s for next time. Guess I gotta start shopping at the Gap or something.
The other part’s harder – how does a 34 year-old act?
Location: 15:30 & 19:00 yest, walking about the hood
Music: you only want what everybody else says you should want
If you miss Freddie too, you’ll like this kid – he’s got pipes. Here’s another killer vid from him.
Kemidra posted an interesting question in her blog and supported my parents’ theory that I’m attractive (bringing the total number of people that think that to three).
I wrote in my very first post that, for almost two decades, I wasn’t so much Logan as I was Loganandliz, or what have you – like Samanderic in Lord of the Flies. I was a unit as in: Let’s invite Loganandliz – they’re a cute couple!
It’s been 19 months and I gotta say, I like being single.
I don’t think you can have a good relationship with someone else if you’ve never fully fleshed out who you are. I mean what do you bring to the table if you’re defined by someone else?
Having said that, if I did meet the right girl at the right time for both of us, I’d stop being single in a heartbeat. Cause it doesn’t matter if you’re the disappointer or the diappointee – it’s fulla suck either way.
But sometimes, that’s how it’s gotta be. To quote St. Augustine again: da mihi castitatem et continentiam – sed noli modo
Give me chastity and continence – but not quite yet.
I went on a blind date with a very cool and attractive, brown-eyed girl today.
Me: After all my fish died, I bought a bunch more and named them all George. Her: (quizzical look) Me: (nodding slowly) They’re pretty upset over the whole matter, too. Her: (laughs) You should get a goldfish and call him Token because he’ll be the token goldfish. Me: Well now, that’s just silly.
Also met a bevy of lovely Christian girls at a party on Friday. Weird thing is that when I found out they were Christian, I slipped into anywhere but church mode.
It’s a mental block.
Location: 14:00 yest., the 66th Street Barnes & Noble
Music: I don’t believe that you, you don’t believe in me
Location: 20:00 yest, caught in the rain
Mood: slightly less sick
Music: We’d spend our days travelin’
I fell in and out of imaginary love driving past 66th Street and Fifth Avenue. She was wearing jeans with a black hat, waiting for the light to change. She looked at me and we locked eyes. Just a moment really, but it seemed longer.
I dunno why, but I thew her a wink and she burst out laughing. So she blew me a kiss and waved as she crossed the street. I laughed by myself in my car. For a moment I thought about calling out to her but then I figured, why ruin a perfectly good moment?
The light changed anyway, as it always does so she and I blended back into the 8.2. Maybe it was her again – I still have her heart.
It’s finally Friday. I’m still sick but I think I’m good enough to have some red rum and daydream about Her and what might’ve been.
Doctor: You don’t have cancer. It’s a cyst, non-cancerous and it won’t become cancerous Me: (sighing with relief) You have no idea how good it is to hear that. Doctor: (laughing) I have some idea. Wear a cup when you work out and briefs in general. Me: Who knew that I could have taken away somea this recent stress by wearing tighty-whities?
I almost wept when he said I didn’t have cancer. No lie. Score one for me. The only person I told in the whole world besides the docs was my brother. Secrets are lonely things.
By the time you read this, I should be about here.
An ex popped into my head today on the drive home. She’s happily living in London with her new fella. I told her two summers ago that I would take a picture of my place and send it to her since it changed so much and she couldn’t picture it. I never got around to it.
I always think of her around this time because we traveled together for the holidays. She and I got along great but it just wasn’t right.
I really should take that pic of my apartment and email it to her but I never do. It’s kinda nice at times when people pop into your head for no reason – like they stopped by for a cup of tea or something.
Me: Stay, stay…just for a bit. I have Earl Grey and something sweet.
Her: OK, just for a bit.
I miss her; not so much the romance part but the friend part. I think that’s what I always miss with every ex.
This song makes me laugh but the King was right, few things are as good as Susan when she tried.
Location: saying goodbye on 75th and Amsterdam
Music: She looked at me and said you’s a baby right?
A Charlie Brown Xmas as performed by the cast of Scrubs.
I kissed a woman tonight who was lovely. I wish I got her name. She smelled like vanilla and thought I was gay. And I met another woman who said she was good. We’ll see.
Someday, I’ll Flow
You know the drill,
peace and goodwill.
We know it but don’t show it,
we want it but can’t find it.
There’s a sign up above,
that maybe it’s love.
Or maybe it’s just
something ’bout us.
That, I dunno,
I’m just lettin’ it go
praying to God,
that someday, I’ll flow.