I’m just south of nowhere and east of limbo
I’m here right now – about 350+ miles from home. This place is so remote that there’s no airport nearby so I had to drive. You do a lot of thinking driving 350+ miles.
The last few times I drove so far, I thought about the ex constantly. I thought of her again, of course, but I also thought about other things.
A few years ago, a friend asked me to set him up with a Vietnam visa on arrival for him and his girlfriend from China. I started the paperwork.
A month or so later, I got a slim letter from him with a check; the letter read:
“We’re not getting married; here’s $600 for your time. Thanks!”
I didn’t know what to say. I had already starting being an impoverished writer so I cashed the check (I’m not a good person), gave him a quick call, confirmed he was ok and moved on. That was four years ago.
We spoke a little while ago. He told me that he spent two, three years casually dating but, in his heart, he thought that she might come back. They spoke occasionally. He got a call from her and she said that she was coming to visit America and would like to see him for dinner.
He was excited, of course, but when they sat down, she said that she came because she heard a bit of hope in his voice the last time they spoke. It bothered her that whole time so she flew 24+ hours to give him closure.
He said it was the nicest thing anyone ever did for him. He knew where he stood – that made him free.
I think he’s doing well now.
Anywho, I think about the ex a lot less and I think I’m almost at the point that I want to do something like that for her. The last time we spoke, I heard in her voice something like hope and I’m not looking for that right now. She’s not the girl I loved and I’m def. not that guy anymore. Oh, but what do I know?
I’ve become bland and malicious.
I’ve been doing a lot of things I’m not…oh you know…
So that’s where I am right now, just south of nowhere and east of limbo.
The weather’s crappy.
Location: South of nowhere and east of limbo.
Music: I’ma scuffle and struggle till I’m breathless and weak