What if there’s a monster?

That’s why they call you Jerkface McGee.

Washington Square Park NYC in early Spring 2013

Her: I’m going away for three days, are you going to miss me?
Me: Yes.
Her: (smiles)
Me: What if there’s a monster? Who am I going to throw at it?

Bag of Doritos

The wife is off for a work thingy this week so that means I’ve:

  • queued up hours of documentaries on Netflix.
  • arranged what I like to call “rum-tasings” but you might just call drinking
  • already scheduled time at my local halal cart for pickups
  • began what I like to call “cleaning out the fridge” but you might call eating whatever I can find

But first, a breakfast of corn chips.

11 servings per container?

Clearly one of us is not good at math, good sir.

Her: …and that’s why they call you Jerkface McGee.
Me: Only you call me Jerface McGee!
Her: Says Jerkface McGee…

Location: regretting my choice of breakfast
Mood: ambitious
Music: I’ll see you when I fall asleep
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Rising

It’s 9/11/2007 today

I’m flying today. I’ve flown for at least three 9/11s since that day.

Ever miss a flight?

I almost missed mine this morning. I’m always almost missing flights. Not because I’m late; today I arrived with almost two hours to spare.

No, I was daydreaming again.

Heard my name on the loudspeaker a coupla times before it fully registered. I rose, grabbed my bag and ran the 30 feet to the gate. The pretty girl at the gate laughed because she said she noticed me staring out at the planes the whole time but assumed I was waiting for the next flight.

Go, go, go
, she said.

Threw her a wink and a smile as I went, went, went.

Right now I’m in another nondescript upstate hotel room by myself listening to sad songs with only you, Tupac and the light from my screen for company. I’m remembering things and people I don’t wanna remember but I can’t forget.

And still I rise…

Location: 13601, talking to Somena
Mood: pensive
Music: Please give me to the sky
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Happy Fourth!

 

If I’m lucky, I’ll be heading home today. If not, I’ll be spending the Fourth here. Hope not.

Managed to get a solid seven hours of sleep last night but when you’re running the kind of national debt-like sleep deficit like me, that’s only so good. But I’ll take what I can get.

So I’m driving on the road today when fawn leaps out in front of me. Luckily there wasn’t anyone behind me because I slammed on the brakes. Full-on.

I know you’re not supposed to do that, but I just couldn’t hit Bambi.

The fawn high-tails into the woods and the mom comes out to look at me.

And I look at her.

Then I started laughing because she just stares at me with this, Dude, you could have killed someone, look.

Managed to get one pic before she disappeared.

There’s something you don’t see much of in the big city, yeah?

Happy Fourth of July everyone.

Location: Still away, another hotel
Mood: exhausted
Music: Ain’t that america we’re someting to see baby

How much?

 It’s good not to have to worry about money for a bit

Me: Look, I’m sorry, I can’t go, I just got back Friday.
Client: You gotta go. We’ll pay you $XXXX.
Me: You’re not hearing me: (emphatically) I…just…got…wait…you’ll pay me how much?
Client: $XXXX.
Me: Total?
Client: Each.
Me: EACH!? EACH!? (pause) Do I have to kill someone?
Client: (pause) Um…not unless you wanna.

Just booked the flight. Each red rectangle you see above is an appointment. I’ll wear my happy face.

I’m tired but summer’s when I make most of the scratch I need for the year so I guess I gotta.

Eh…it’ll be good to not have to sweat coin for a bit.

I had an amazing weekend with some great stories and no time to sort it all out. I’ll tell you though. After I sort.

Was at a bar with El and some friends. Met a girl from Cali too, whom I guess I’ll just call Caligirl.

The bartender had a single orange so that I could have my usual poison. Ergo, you know I had a good night.

Location: here for now
Mood: hella beat
Music: middle of nowhere To the middle of my frustrated fears

Joni Mitchell never lies

You don’t know what you got till it’s gone

I’m somewhere. Not elsewhere, I’m afraid. Just away. Here.

You know you’ve been traveling too much when you pull into a driveway and realize, Oh man, I’ve stayed here before.

Don’t even remember coming to Rochester before.

You don’t know it, but I’m sitting in my hotel room laughing to myself.

Spent a week here in this same hotel nine months ago. It was a strange time then. It’s strange again.

Sleep. Must sleep.

I’m coming back home tonight, I think. Losing track of time.

On a different note entirely, before I left, I found a shirt an ex left at my place.

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s

Location: hotel room
Mood: drained
Music: I’m gone

Reflecting

 A lot’s happened and it’s only Monday

View from inside Grey's Papaya's on 72nd and Broadway

Someone just sang to me. It was very sweet. It just happened so I guess I’ll write about it later.

Spent the day returning to my normal life. Last week was…interesting, to say the least. I think my earliest night ended at 1 AM. Here’s a brief recap:

  • Had dinner on Tuesday with a potential candidate for NYS Senator – I’m going to be his internet strategist.
  • Was out until 3AM drinking rum in the middle of the week with the third ranked amateur middleweight NHB fighter in the country. The night ended when we tried to pick fights with bigger people (ok, that didn’t happen – but just imagine!)
  • Traveled upstate to visit a burned out building and a vast tract of land.
  • Spent four hours in the gym in one day.
  • Slept a total of 30 hours for the week.
  • Got elbowed in the head (accident) and I actually saw those birds you see in the cartoons.

Quite a week – it’s only Monday and I’ve already a song in my head.

Wonder what’s in store for me this week?

Location: @11:36 PM yest., on the phone in my pad, listening
Mood: grateful
Music: It’s bad enough we get along so well

Thinking Pink

Thought of my ex – which is rare now

I had a busy but good day yesterday. A friend of mine and I are arguing constantly but somehow we always manage to work things out, or at least push our mutual hatred below the surface where I’m sure it’ll explode someday in a newspaper-worthy fashion.

Thought about my ex recently because I got a package of stuff from her.

It’s funny, I never think of her any more.

I’m traveling again. I’ll be here today and then back home tonight. I used to go to cool places like Berlin, Macao and Beijing. Now, it’s…Lockport, NY. Eh, it pays the bills. Plus it’s nice to be elsewhere.

Finally, someone asked me how I was so I’m putting up this pic of me. I think I’m gaining weight. It’s because I’m in a good mood.

I know you’ll wonder, so the answer is because I’m secure in my manhood. Plus, it’s all Blue Jean Eyes has that I can wear when I stop by the few times I see her.

They’re comfy.

Location: Queens, getting ready to go to the airport
Mood: hopeful
Music: Someday all this mess will make me laugh, I can’t wait

More Traveling

I’m just south of nowhere and east of limbo

I’m here right now – about 350+ miles from home. This place is so remote that there’s no airport nearby so I had to drive. You do a lot of thinking driving 350+ miles.

The last few times I drove so far, I thought about the ex constantly. I thought of her again, of course, but I also thought about other things.

A few years ago, a friend asked me to set him up with a Vietnam visa on arrival for him and his girlfriend from China. I started the paperwork.

A month or so later, I got a slim letter from him with a check; the letter read:

“We’re not getting married; here’s $600 for your time. Thanks!”

I didn’t know what to say. I had already starting being an impoverished writer so I cashed the check (I’m not a good person), gave him a quick call, confirmed he was ok and moved on. That was four years ago.

We spoke a little while ago. He told me that he spent two, three years casually dating but, in his heart, he thought that she might come back. They spoke occasionally. He got a call from her and she said that she was coming to visit America and would like to see him for dinner.

He was excited, of course, but when they sat down, she said that she came because she heard a bit of hope in his voice the last time they spoke. It bothered her that whole time so she flew 24+ hours to give him closure.

He said it was the nicest thing anyone ever did for him. He knew where he stood – that made him free.

I think he’s doing well now.

Anywho, I think about the ex a lot less and I think I’m almost at the point that I want to do something like that for her. The last time we spoke, I heard in her voice something like hope and I’m not looking for that right now. She’s not the girl I loved and I’m def. not that guy anymore. Oh, but what do I know?

I’ve become bland and malicious.

I’ve been doing a lot of things I’m not…oh you know…

So that’s where I am right now, just south of nowhere and east of limbo.

The weather’s crappy.

Location: South of nowhere and east of limbo.
Mood: Tired
Music: I’ma scuffle and struggle till I’m breathless and weak

Denny’s an FB

In yet another seedy hotel upstate

In yet another nondescript motel. Spend an inordinate amount of time in seedy hotel rooms.

Also, find that when I travel, end up eating junk – a lotta junk. Had Denny’s for lunch and tacos for dinner. Have no idea what comes over me when I travel. When I’m in the City, eat only healthful foods but man, once I change latitudes, I become Homer Simpson.

My hands are shaking again.

Got some sleep last night but not enough. This cold isn’t helping but I think the NyQuil is. Thank goodness for OTC drugs.

Actually had a thought today that it was Parkinson’s (especially since it’s all over the news these days) but then, that’s just me being a hypochondriac. I’m fine when I sleep six or seven hours and a wreck when I sleep less.

Better get to sleep.

You know, that Denny must be a fat bastard.

Location: Upstate NY in a bed with flowers printed on the sheets
Mood: Determined
Music: just leave it all up 2 me, we could have a good time
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What are the chances?

Sometimes you keep running into the same people

Last night I finally managed to get seven hours of sleep again. I felt like a different person again after I woke up.

I had lunch at a really classy and cool, old school bar. A bunch of old men were chatting it up with me and I was there for almost two hours. It was weird because the last hour was my giving them a history lesson on the rise of America as a superpower after WWII and how we made English replace French as the international language of business – I have no idea how the topic even started. They ended up buying my lunch (which made me regret that I didn’t order more than just a diet coke and salad). 🙂

I forgot to mention that I saw that girl that I met at Ricky’s rooftop party last week in the oddest of places. I was exiting my airplane and she was waiting in line to get in. The weirdest thing. I never met her before two weeks ago, she’s lived right around me for three years and I see her in an airport on a Thursday getting into the plane I just got off of. What are the chances? I didn’t realize it was her until a few minutes after I walked by her and it dawned on me who she was – I had that “I think I know that girl” feeling when I saw first saw her after I left the plane but I was too tired to process quickly enough. I figured it would be too strange if I went back and said “hello” so I just let it be.

Heading back home later this week and I’m sure I’ll be bending time again this weekend.

I’ve become a charmer of old men.

Eh, at least the food’s paid for.

Location: Another (but better) hotel upstate
Mood: Thoughtful
Music: That’s why I believe it is too late for anyone to believe
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