A young girl: [Your son] says you’re a fighter. Me: Heavens! Now, do I look like a fighter, little miss? Her: (laughs) Noooo! Me: Well, there you go. I’m just a lawyer. And his dad. Son: (afterward, annoyed) Why didn’t you say you’re a fighter?! Me: Because I’m not, I’m someone that can fight but I’m not a fighter. There’s a difference. Him: Papa! Me: (shrugging) Besides, no one needs to know what we do in our private lives, kid. I want you to learn something here: People don’t look like they really are inside. Our insides don’t often match our outsides, for better for worse. The less people know about what you can do, the better. Him: Then why do you spend so much time [learning how to fight]? Me: Because…sometimes you have to show people what you can do.
This girl named Betty was running to catch a train about a 100 years ago when her science teacher saw her.
The science teacher was also the running coach of the school and never saw anyone run that fast – and he was the coach!
So, he convinced her to run for him and soon, she found herself in the 1928 Olympics at just 16 years old, breaking a whole buncha records.
Almost 100 years later, she remains the youngest athlete to win an Olympic 100-meter gold.
That’s not the most remarkable thing about her, though.
Just three years later, in 1931, she was in a plane crash where she was so messed up that they were sure she was dead. They didn’t send her to the hospital, they sent her to the morgue.
Luckily the undertaker realized she was alive and she, somehow, survived.
Unfortunately, the doctors said she’d never walk again, let alone race again. She spent six months in a wheelchair and didn’t walk normally for two whole years.
But she somehow did walk again and then run again – and she actually ran in the 1946 summer Olympics against the heavily-favoured Germans in the relay race.
The kicker is that she beat them.
Not my pic, obvs. Click here for more info. Man, look how happy this kid is.
The thing is, if you pull up a picture of Betty Robinson, she just looks like any other chick from that time.
You’d never know she was a beast in her lane.
I’ve met so many people in my half-century here. But the ones I always value the most, are the ones with their secret lives that no one would ever suspect.
I’ve met beasts that you wouldn’t believe.
Suppose I hope this for my son, for him to have secrets that keep him safe and happy until and unless he has to show the world what he can do.
Son: So, you do fight, right, papa? Me: Not if I can help it, kid. Remember that, too.
Speaking of meeting up with people, I met up with the Firecracker for drinks the other day at a place that a buddy from my gym told me he loves that’s all decked out as if it were still the Victorian age.
Super cool and ornate, plus it’s right around the gym.
I’d been walking past it for months without realizing what was inside.
Just like with people, the City has alla these hidden secrets that I like finding out about.
Then again, I usually tell you about them when I find about them, so we can share the secret, yeah?
One thing that I’m learning as a parent is that summer stuff needs to be planned super early.
I’ve already got a surprise trip planned for the kid as well as a few weeks of things here and there but trying to fill up an entire summer is daunting, lemme tell ya.
Hopefully, we’ll have some stories to tell you after the summer’s over.
Boy: Will you come to Germany with me? Me: Sure! I love Germany. That sounds like fun.
Met up with the Firecracker and her sister the other day for an early dinner.
Conveniently, her sister also lives in the Upper Best Side, so that made things easy and we just met up at a local bar around us.
I’ve been really into fish and chips lately, plus this place had sweet potato fries, so that made things even better.
She just had a burger, which I always approve of.
Her: Look, they branded the burger with their initials! Me: Ooooh, fancy!
Her sister speaks Japanese, which was pretty cool.
I’d just bought a new camera (I’ll tell you about that later) and she was actually looking at the one I was seriously considering before I ended up choosing something else entirely.
In any case, my brother, sister, and I, plus my cousins were all talking about a summer 2024 trip back to Taiwan and I asked them if they would be interested in coming along as well.
Firecracker: That sounds like fun! Sister: I’ve never been but it’s on my list of places to visit. Me: Sweet, we’ll plan something out.
It feels weird planning things for the future with the kid. Weirder with the Firecracker.
There’s something inherently hopeful about planning for the future.
The last decade has seriously fucked with my head when it comes to being hopeful.
Even before everything went to shit, I was always cautious about being too hopeful about anything.
After all, the more you hope for things, the harder you crash if they fall apart.
Then again, what is life if not somewhat hopeful?
Her: The kids are away that week, do you want to go somewhere? Me: (long pause) Sure. That sounds like fun.
Holy cow, one of my videos has 10 MILLON views on it.
It’s yet another thing that’s kinda hard for me to wrap my head around.
Me: Do you wanna go on a small adventure? Her: With you? Yes!
After celebrating my birthday numerous times over the past few weeks, the Firecracker had a slow week so I asked if she wanted to have a really long lunch one weekday.
She’d been wanting to head over to Los Tacos #1 at the Chelsea Market for some time and it was a gorgeous day so I suggested that we both hop onto my electric bike, which is actually a two-seater.
Unfortunately, we only made it a couple of blocks before the tire came off of the rim.
Her: Do we have to head back? Me: (shaking head) Nah, I think I can fix it. I inflated the bike on its tires but I shoulda flipped it over. I can fix this.
While she watched the bike, I ran back to my pad, got what I needed and came back to fix the bike.
After a few minutes, we were back on track.
Me: How you doing back there? Her: OK…I think.
The weather could, honestly, not have been nicer. We actually went down to the tip of Manhattan to the Financial District and took a walk around.
After a bit, we both got hungry and headed up to Los Tacos #1 at the Chelsea Market.
I found a seat…
…while she went to grab food.
Of course, it wasn’t enough food for me but there was ANOTHER taco joint right next door – owned by the same people – called Los Mariscos, which was their fish taco place so I ordered more food there.
Me: Do you want anything else? Her: No, I’m stuffed. Me: More for me, then.
So, she sat and people watched while I continued to eat.
Afterward, we hopped back on the bike and went up to the Winter Garden, which I’ve always loved.
She’d never been.
We got her a coffee there and looked at the crowds of business people there, out for happy hours drinks.
She managed to ring her mom to tell her all about it too. I thought that was cute.
I told her that I was there when it first opened…
Her: I was like one or two then, Logan!
…and I was there again after they repaired it after 9/11.
It was one of the more fun mid-day trips I’ve had in my life.
Although, there were some unexpected things that put a slight damper on things.
Me: That was so much fun! It woulda been perfect except, man, my butt is sore. Her: Me too! Me: Worth it though. Her: (nodding) Totally worth it.
Location: picking up the boy from the Lincoln Center movie theater. He kept wanting to toss popcorn into things.
Mood: exhausted
Music: baby…time’s passing by (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
2023 - This is me on Saturday during our shoot, two days before I'm 50.
Just the particulars
Me: What if one day you get new glasses and realize how old I am? Firecracker: I don’t think so. Maybe I’m just more into antiques than I thought I was.
1973 – 0 Years old
4. You can reinvent yourself again and again
F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote Alison’s favorite book, The Great Gatsby; I loved that girl as much as I hated that book.
When I was in college, I spoke four languages and was certain that I’d end up working for the Foreign Service.
Then I changed my mind and wanted to be a writer – ended up writing for several national publications including one of the first major articles on Windows NT versus Novell for Computer Shopper, and some travel articles for the New York Sun.
While doing this, I worked in the club industry and made a name for myself, which a few people still recognize me for.
1983 – 10 Years Old (and starting to get fat, hoo-boy, did I get even bigger)
Then I decided I wanted to build networks and ended up building a 100-seat computer network for a Fortune 600 company on Madison Avenue.
Then I went to law school to become a lawyer. Then I went to CNET and became their first International Sale Manager. Then I went back to being a lawyer.
Then I bought my building with some friends and became a building manager.
Then I got another degree and became one of only 350 people in the New York State with that degree while still working on my legal career. Somehow found myself lecturing on the law all over including Europe and New York. Even won an award.
I also started teaching kali on the sly just a block from my pad and started up a private jet company.
After Alison got sick, I gave up everything and became a cancer researcher, a caretaker, and then a father.
Somehow, in my late 40s, I also became a YouTuber and a gym owner.
Look, my point is that Fitzgerald was fulla shit.
You can be anything you want to be. You get to decide and no one else does.
I decided at 14 that I didn’t wanna be fat so I stopped being fat. It was as simple and as difficult as that.
Few things in life are actually difficult; the most difficult thing you’ll ever do is to decide to do something.
Everything else after that decision are just the particulars.
1993 – 20 Years old – My brother edited out the people next to me in this pic – in fact, he did all these pics. He’s crazy talented, that boy.
This is dangerous – I speak from both personal experience and as a new father.
My greatest fear is that kid’ll meet some knuckleheads that get him into trouble.
Look, you choose your friends because they mirror some quality you have or desire. I don’t have any close friends that are, say, massive gamblers, because I’m not a massive gambler.
You don’t get to chose your family but you do get to choose your tribe. So, if the people that you hang out with are a buncha people that cheat on their partners alla time, you’re gonna become someone that chats on your partner.
If you’re the most successful person in your group, this is probably a bad thing, too. You need a better group.
This is one major reason why I didn’t want to continue some romantic relationships I was involved in; because, while they were usually fine, their friends weren’t the type of friends I wanted in my life.
Or my kid’s life.
Him: (a long time ago) I heard you two broke up, I’m sorry. Me: It’s fine. There’s no tragedy that doesn’t have some positive bonus and the bonus here is that I literally never have to pretend to enjoy hanging out with her lame friends again.
This is why I’ve cut so many people outta my life – because I want to be around people that point me in the direction I want to go.
Speaking of bonuses, here’s a bonus tip.
2003 – 30 years old
Bonus: Sometimes, Logan, you gotta say, “Fuck it, I’m out.”
If you are the average of the five people you hang out with the most, then I’m grateful that Bryson’s one of my oldest and dearest friends – for a whole host of reasons.
He’s dangerous; he boxed with Dolph Lundgren, is a brown belt in BJJ under Fabio Clemete, is a black belt in shorin ryu karate, and is also a skilled Japanese fencer.
But, he’s also a great father and cook, married to a beautiful doctor, and helped build a buncha businesses that you’ve probably visited.
Most importantly, though, he’s a great human being. He’s the kinda guy I wanna be, so I try to hang out with him whenever I can.
Years ago, I visited him and his then girlfriend (now wife) out in San Francisco and I was probably depressed when I met them.
I was struggling with whether or not to quit my job and also leave the girl I was seeing.
For the former, it was a great job but I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue being involved with it. The latter? Well, kinda the same thing.
I had all the mixed feelings of duty, loyalty, guilt, etc.
Him, his wife, their roomie, and I, somehow ended up on a boat in the middle of a lake where we got into a water gun fight with some group of people on another boat.
I got onto that boat confused and depressed and left it feeling..pretty good.
And it was because I started telling him alla these issues I had with the girl and that job and he listened, politely, and then simply said, Sometimes, Logan, you gotta say, “Fuck it.”
I added on the “I’m out” over the years.
The number of times I’ve said, Fuck it, I’m out, since that day has gotta be at least in the hundreds, if not thousands.
It’s an incredibly powerful statement and one that you can whip out at any time, in any situation.
Bad job? Bad relationship? Bad habits?
Fuck it, I’m out, is a perfect answer that leads directly to Tip 4, which is reinventing yourself.
But be careful, because it is so powerful. Use it with caution.
2013 – 40 years old
Once told you about this snippet of a Batman cartoon I watched when I was younger.
In it, a villain was trying to convince Bruce Wayne that Bruce was mad but Bruce/Batman fought back and won.
When his friend asked Bruce why he was so sure that he (Bruce) wasn’t crazy, he answered simply that the voices called him “Bruce.”
But that’s not what he called himself.
I’ve been many things I’ve been proud of. I think that, by the time you read this, Scenic Fights will either be at exactly 400,000 subscribers or close to it.
And I’ve got some big things happening in my life that I may or may not tell you about in the future.
But none of that matters, really. In my head, I’m the kid’s father. Full-stop.
If that ends up being the only thing that I’m known for, I’m ok with that.
Substitute teacher: And you are? Me: (pointing at the kid) His father. Her: (brightly) Oh! He’s a wonderful child! When I said that I was a substitute, he came up to me afterward and said that if I forgot anyone’s name, to ask him because he would tell me. He was my helper all day. Me: (laughing) That’s awesome. Her: He’s awesome! Me: You’re not wrong, lady. You’re not wrong. (sighing) He takes after his mom. Her: You two are lucky. Me: (nodding) Yeah. Lucky us.
I’ve been alive for exactly 18,250 days.
I’ve only got 8,250 days left, if I’m…lucky.
Hopefully, I’ll keep writing and you’ll keep reading, yeah?
2023 – This is me on Saturday during our shoot, two days before I’m 50.
That’s a joke, of course. But I did just turn 50 this past week, so it’s not quite as funny as it’s been in the past.
The pic above is of me when I was a few days old.
Man, it’s a kick in the head to get my mind around that I was once that infant in the picture above some 50 years ago.
Realize that I probably don’t look 50 to you, which is fine because I don’t look 50 to me.
In fact, when I think of 50, I think of Molly Shannon’s Sally O’Malley (who’s actually 58 in the clip below):
It’s funny because a lotta my friends tell me that they use me as an example of what 50 might be like for them.
This is my friend Hawk, who – like a lotta my friends – only texts me on my bday, but that’s fine, I’m always thrilled to hear from them.
Spent a lotta time wondering what I would write about to commemorate this momentous occasion and the best thing I could come up with was the five concepts that changed my life the most.
1. Invest in the S&P 500
One of my summer jobs in college was helping two accountants do paperwork for a company called Ziff-Davis, where I ended up working at after college. They asked me to come in on the weekend and said they’d buy lunch. As a poor college kid, that was enough, so I did.
While I was there, we got to talking about investing and they told me to just dump every spare cent I ever made into the S&P 500.
Basically, “S&P” is “Standard and Poor,” think of them like the New York Times, except they only report about companies. And one thing they do is list the 500 biggest companies – in terms of how much they’re worth –Â at any given time.
When, say, Company 498 becomes Company 502, it’s kicked out, and some other company becomes 498.
A fella named John Bogle figured out that if you invested money evenly into each of the 500 companies, you’d end up making about 11.8% annually.
If you invested $1,000 a year for 50 years, you woulda “spent” $50,000 but you would end up with $2,505,311.97, or $2,455,311.97 profit.
There are hundreds of funds that track the S&P 500 for little or no money.Â
Started doing that 30 years ago, when I was 20. My life woulda been radically different if I never took that weekend gig.Â
Think they got me turkey club both days.
In any case, you should probably start investing ASAP, if you haven’t done it yet.
2. Do pushups – or something – every morning
I was a pretty fat kid from 10 to 14 – when I was 14, I was 5 foot 3 inches and 185 pounds with a 44-inch waist.
I went on a fast for four months – legit stopped eating, cold – and dropped down to 120 pounds and a 28-inch waist.
I’m now 50 years old with a 28-inch waist.
It all started when I stopped eating completely to reset my brain and started working out. When I first did it, I could barely do two pushups.
By the time I was 18, I was doing 100 pushups without issue. I just banged out 79 pushups in 60 seconds a few weeks ago.
Look, I don’t really do pushups anymore because I kept needing more. I’m in the gym like 10 hours a week these days.
You don’t gotta do pushups, you can do situps, you can run, you can walk for 30 minutes. Whatever.
But you gotta do something.
Otherwise, you’ll definitely look your age.
3. Learn to cook and stop eating stuff made by machines
OK, I admit that I eat quite a lotta things made by machines, like protein bars and stuff.
But I make sure that at least three out of every four meals I eat, I’ve made most of it myself.
This way, you know what you’re putting into your body.
As an aside, the bulk of my diet is beans and nuts, mainly peanut butter, honestly.
I found out that they sold five-pound jars of peanut butter but I’m more than half-way though one jar and it’s only been less than two weeks.
So, I bought another jar.
But that’s really neither here nor there…
I still have two more things to tell you, but I’ll do that tomorrow because it’s getting late and I don’t wanna mess up my sleep schedule any more than it already is.
And because it’s never too late to be better.
I’m trying to be better, even now.
We should all try to be better than we were yesterday.
The Firecracker was away down south visiting family for a few days but flew back early to spend some time with me while she was still off.
Me: If you’re gonna do that, I’ll meet you at the airport when you get back. Her: You don’t have to do that. Me: I know. I want to.
The plan was to take a cab back to her pad, drop of her luggage and then go get a late lunch/early dinner.
But, as always in NYC, traffic was at a crawl.
Her: I’m starving. Me: You know me, I’m always hungry. Her: We’re [kind of near the restaurant]. Should we just tell the driver to head straight there? Me: Heck, yeah!
So, after just a couple of minutes, we hopped outta the cab and walked a few shorts blocks there.
The weather was great so the walk was nice but it wasn’t far so, before we knew it, we were already at the restaurant, quickly ordered some drinks, and then our food came.
I’d actually been to the restaurant once before with a friend, but this was the first time I did the barbeque version of it.
We started off with the salad and veggies…
…before turning to the meat…
…which the Firecracker was nice enough to cook.
We were pretty full but not completely when the waitress came by to inform us that they only brought half the meat we ordered.
There were three more trays of meat to be had.
Me: Yes!
Our birthdays are pretty close to each other so she did the same thing that I did when we went up to Legoland, and had the waitstaff come by with dessert and sing me a happy birthday song.
I think it was the first time anyone did something like for me. It was sweet.
Me: I can’t remember the last time I had regular ice cream. Her: I’m not sure it’s regular ice cream, it tastes more like gelatto. Me: No, I mean full fat, non-keto ice cream.
It’s been on my mind a lot, my birthday. It’s coming up in like less than a week.
I’ll be turning 50. Half-a-century old.
For me, it gives me all sortsa mixed feelings.
For the Firecracker, it just gives her something to amuse herself with.
Me: (on phone) It’s asking for my birthday. Hold on… Her: (a few moments later) You know you’re really getting old when you have to spend forever on the click wheel [to get to your birth year]. Me: I’m at the 80s now, almost there…
Me: (laughing) Good god, that’s the kinda pushcart my grandma would wheel around. Her: Look, I’m dating a grandpa, I might as well have a grandma cart. Me: So mean! Her: You started it! Plus, someone’s gotta get your ego down a notch.
The dinner the other night after the theme park was really just a spur-of-the moment kinda thing.
I actually planned out the Firecracker’s birthday to a French bistro around the way
Me: What do you want for dinner? Her: Well, I love salmon. So, any place that offers that?
It turns out that she’d been to the place I picked out but she came right after COVID so they only had a tasting menu.
This was the first time that she was trying out something from the full menu.
Whenever I’m in a French bistro, I always order the mussels if they’re available – pure protein if I skip the bread (which I should do, but never do).
Her: Give me your camera, I want to take a picture with all of the steam coming off of it.
Afterward, we went to the second bar that we went to on our first date.
We ordered two drinks and a dessert.
Purely by coincidence, she wore a green dress, I wore a green suit, and one of our two drinks were green.
Because it was a school night, I had to leave pretty early but it was nice to celebrate her bday with her.
Me: Technically speaking, you’re probably the oldest woman I’ve ever been serious relationship with. Her: You’re kidding me, right?! So, you keep getting older, but the girls always stay the same age? That’s messed up, Lo. Me: (laughing) Yeah. It’s a wonderful thing. Her: (rolls eyes) Are you done dating children, Logan? Me: Evidently.
This past weekend, I unlocked another level: I brought the kid to a theme park.
It was the first time I’d brought him to one; my in-laws had taken him to things like this in the past but this was a first for me.
The Firecracker is a huge theme park person. She used to live in Florida and would live close to Disneyland just so she could go on the regular.
We’ve lived very different lives, which is kinda what makes it all so interesting.
In any case, we got tickets to Legoland, which is just over an hour away.
Unfortunately, while the rest of the week was nice, the day we chose to go, it was supposed to be raining cats and dogs.
The night before, the kid and I went all over Harlem trying to find a poncho for him.
We ended up borrowing one of his friend’s jackets – which you can see below – just so he had something.
The next day, with my brother staying with me, the Firecracker and her son showed up bright and early in the rain for us to make the trek up.
The drive up was pretty uneventful but once we got up there, both kids were overjoyed. It was sweet to see.
They went straight for alla the rides. Because of the rain, we didn’t have to wait long for any of the rides.
And the rain came down pretty hard at times…
…but after only about ninety minutes, it cleared up.
By the afternoon, the sun was out and it was 70+. Both kids were hot.
And a lot more people showed up so we actually had to wait in lines for some of the rides.
The kids were only so interested in the displays, although they both loved the NYC stuff.
Me? I found things like the singing Mt. Rushmore stuff a hoot.
I really need to get out more.
The kid, shockingly, really wanted to get onto the biggest roller-coaster they had.
The Firecracker and her kid skipped that, so he and I went on it and, damn if that kid wasn’t having the time of his life on that thing.
He musta gotten that from his mom because roller-coasters were never my thing.
He wanted to go on it again but the ride actually broke down right after we got off of it and he was pretty bummed.
But he perked up when other rides became available as the park dried out.
He’s the kid in orange with his arms outstretched.
It was closing time before we knew it.
Me: What do you want to do for dinner? Do you wanna do something really suburby like Houlihans or TGIFridays? Her: How about Red Robin? Me: Oh, I’ve never been. Her: (shocked) Well, we have to go then!
We punched in the addy for the nearest Red Robin and off we went.
Once we got there, I ordered the double burger, which I could hardly get my mouth around. It was glorious.
Plus, we just kept getting refills for drinks and sides. It was my kinda joint.
It actually the Firecracker’s birthday around then so I told one of the waitstaff and they came out singing Happy Birthday and gave her a sundae.
Her: Logan! Did you…?
Me: Happy birthday, Firecracker!
She was embarassed but I think liked the gesture.
Afterward, we made it home and it started raining again.
It was a really “family,” thing we did and I was happy for that. The kid had a great day, which made me happy.
Me: Did you have a good time? Him: (sleepily) Yes, papa. Can do we do it again someday? Me: Someday, sure, yeah. Goodnight, kid. Him: Goodnight, papa.
Location: earlier today, the Emerald Inn with my brother, asking for a manly drink and fish and chips, minus the chips.
Mood: dreaming of double burgers
Music: we can’t run from the wind and the thunder (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
My brother’s in town for a spell so his best friend, KTO, came up to my hood for to grab lunch with us.
Me: Do you wanna meet my brother? Firecracker: Sure! But I don’t wanna intrude. Me: I’m pretty sure they wanna meet you.
We ended up going to a joint that I’d been to a few times before, but in different iterations. It was a bistro, then a fish restaurant, and now just an American joint.
The food was good and service was great – we kept throwing requests at the waiter, who took everything with aplomb…even though he messed up our orders here and there.
Me: We only ordered one diet coke. Him: Oh, just keep that one then.
I typically order burgers but I try to get them without ketchup and just have them with mayo.
But whenever a place has poached eggs, I typically order that because that’s the one egg that I can’t make well.
I ordered mine with a salad but the waiter brought it with fries – here’s the thing, if left to my own devices, I would go to town on fries.
But then I’d feel awful about it – and myself – immediately afterward.
So, I swapped it out for a salad, even though I looked longingly at them as they left.
Me: Can I have some of your fries? Her: You just sent yours back! Me: I know, I know…
Afterward, another waiter came by and we chatted with him a bit.
He came back later and comped us some guac and chips.
Afterward, we came back to my pad and just chatted for a while before we all passed out from the daydrinking.
I remember once wanting so much outta life.
But days like that remind me that simple things are often the best.
Wouldn’t mind more simple and quiet days like that one.
Me: What did you think? Her: They were nice! I liked them. (later) You know, you look like Jimmy Neutron with your hair like that. Me: Who’s that? Her: (laughing) You really are old.
