Wanting but not ready to
I always try my best to keep all my entries in chronological order because it acts as my own personal journal – I can’t tell you how many times in a week I’ll search through the blog for some bit of information
But the issue here is that the kid’s graduation was actually a full four days before the last day of his school.
So, that means that the first part of this entry happened before the last entry about the baseball game and the second part, after.
The kid let me sleep in an extra hour but after he woke me up, we quickly made our way to the 84th Street where his graduation was taking place.
Sara took the day off to come and support him, which I really appreciated.
Unfortunately, we were running about five minutes late, which Sara and barely noticed but the kid was apoplectic.
Him: (upset) What if I miss it!? I can run there.
Me: Dude, it’s 85 degrees, the bus is here in two minutes, and it’s six blocks from here.
Him: But what if we miss it?!
Me: We’ll be fine. You gotta believe in the system.
Luckily, the bus did actually come in two minutes and we were there within 10.
Him: We made it!
Me: Never had a doubt, kid.
Before I knew it, they had called his name, and he was up on stage getting his “diploma” and shaking alla his teachers’ hands.
The last time he graduated from anything was five years ago and I had so many mixed feelings then.
This time, I still had them, but it was less so.
Alison would have cried because she would have been so happy and proud.
Like I was.
Afterward, I quickly hit up the gym for two reasons: (a) to work out and (b) to let the kid play for a bit with his friends.
Then I took him and everyone else down to Chinatown to celebrate.
Me: What are you in the mood for?
Him: Hand-pulled noodles and soup!
Me: In the summer?!
Him: You said I could get anything!
Me: (laughing) So I did. Steaming hot noodles and soup in the middle of summer it is.
The next three days were weird as he “graduated,” but he still had school.
A lotta his classmates – he said about half – had already started their summer vacations. After all, we went to a baseball game until about midnight the day before his last day of elementary school.
But I suppose that he’s like me in that he wanted to spend time with friends that he would no longer see on the regular.
Because it finally hit him that he would never be an elementary school student again.
And, truth be told, it finally hit me just now as I wrote these words: He’ll never be an elementary student again.
He’s growing up, as he’s supposed to and as I want him to.
But, while I want him to grow up, I’m not ready for my little boy to grow up yet.
Location: Asheville, NC, having some fried chix
Mood: conflicted
Music: I never knew me a better time and I guess, I never will (Spotify)
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