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Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

Something about a freezer full of chili makes me happy

The Professor was in town and came by last Friday for an early breakfast. He took a quick look at my leg while he was here.

Him: Well, now’s a good chance for you to get some definition into those flabby and amorphous legs of yours.
Me: Did you just come into my house, drink my coffee, eat my food and call my legs flabby and amorphous?!
Him: Yup.

In actuality, I’ve been working them out every day. And – here’s the big thing:

I can bend my bad leg 155 degrees as of the weekend.

It hurts like hell when I do it, but I can do it. 45 days after my surgery, I can essentially kick my own butt. Very happy about this. I read the forskolin review this weekend and I think I might try it, anything to cut down my cellulite.

———-

Her: I hate going to work.
Me: You totally should have married someone rich.
Her: I know!

My workload, the injury, and the medical bills – which are piling up even with insurance – is not helping my sleep. Been up several nights this past week thinking of all sorts of things.

As a small positive, recently read an article by the Atlantic entitled The Case for Drinking as Much Coffee as You Like, which is as self-explanatory an article title as one can hope for.

Was feeling good enough to make a vat of chili so between the freezer full of frozen chili, the 155 degree bend, and the license to drink as much coffee as I can handle, it’s not been a bad weekend.

OK, Monday…let’s go…

Location: getting ready to take a walk
Mood: hard to say
Music: let’s go all have a beer ‘Cause everybody loves an accident
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Scorpion Cabbage anyone?

My issues with GMO Foods and Labeling

The wife and I’ve been discussing GMO foods a lot lately, what with films like Food Inc, Forks over Knives and her blog.

There’s no question that there’s some level of GMO that’s required in the world to avoid a Malthusian catastrophe, the issue is the level, manner, and intensity of it all.

Those that are pro-GMO often give the old saw that corn is genetically modified. And this is true to an extent but at its most basic, that’s just simple hybridization: the taking of interrelated species and introducing them to each other to create a hybrid entity that might actually occur in nature.

In corn’s case, it was the interbreeding different grasses to produce corn. That’s fine by me and probably fine by most people because it’s: Grass+Grass=Corn.

Grass A: Wanna get it on?
Grass B: Um, ok.

But that’s not the stuff freaking people out because in the aforementioned, the internal logic of the plant’s DNA isn’t affected. Mother Nature permits it without any lab necessary.

Modification within an genus I can deal with –  the genes of a white-footed mouse (Peromyscus leucopus) with the genes of a deer mouse (Peromyscus maniculatus) – no problem.

White-footed Mouse: Wanna get it on?
Deer Mouse: I’ve never been with a White-Footed Mouse before.
White-footed Mouse: Really? We’re lovely.

These are related in some baseline genetic level.

However, genetic modification above that level – above the Genus level – that I have an issue.

When you take the genes of a scorpion and insert that into the genes of a cabbage so that it’s poisonous to insects but harmless to people, that makes me uncomfortable.

Scorpion: Wanna get it on?
Cabbage: Say what now?

How uncomfortable I am, not really sure. It just doesn’t sit right with me.

Mainly cause we don’t know the future ramifications of this stuff; no one’s regularly eating scorpion DNA but now we potentially are. Don’t really have any solutions but at the most basic, we should differentiate between the levels of GMO – there’s a huge gulf of difference between hybridization and gene splicing. That’s why I’m against GMO food labeling as it stands now but totally for it if this is made clear.

Life is weird and getting weirder.

Got less than three hours sleep last night. Luckily, my insomnia is more an exception than a norm these days.

Should mention that I saw my doc yesterday. He said that my recovery is roughly twice beyond where I should be; in other words, I look as if I’d been out of surgery for 10 weeks insteada five weeks.

Cool.

Location: heading to Harlem
Mood: busy
Music: Wheat meat, dairy free tea told so happy clappy high on life
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Non-intersecting

Our Hyperbolic and Non-Intersecting Lives

Him: How’s wok?
Me: The workload’s killing me; my phone won’t stop ringing.
Him: Quit complaining. It’s better than the alternative.

This Thanksgiving was a little different for me that my usual, mainly because of my work schedule and injury.

The injury meant that I wasn’t in the right headspace to see my friends like Johnny and the Family Man, plus the Professor wasn’t in town.

But I did manage to see my family and my buddy WM who came on Thanksgiving with a homemade baked carrot cake. Hung out with him and the fam for a while before heading back to my pad that night.

Had to go because of my work schedule. Was actually all over Queens and Brooklyn the morning of Thanksgiving and then on an industrial farm the day after Thanksgiving and then off to the Jerz to see the wife’s fam.

Still, I can’t really complain; have to catch up on the three weeks I couldn’t work and also make up for the dismal years and theft.

As I was driving along and alone, thought about algebra, coordinate geometry, and the idea of non-intersecting lines. (it’s what I do). Essentially, if you have two lines which never intersect, they can get ridiculously close but never actually touch – and this goes on into infinity.

Though about that in relation to my leg. Feel much better now but the injury plus my age makes me think that, while I’ll get close to how it use to be, I’ll never get there.

It’s slightly sad, but more just a fact of life and something that I suppose I’ll accept one day.

On another point, it’s the opposite of my concept of venn diagrams, where people intersect in your life and some stay and some leave.

But now there are also those that leave and kinda stay – like via Facebook, blogs, or random email – but you never intersect with again.

I see them get older, get married, have families, but not really. Our lives are simply hyperbolically non-intersecting.

It’s slightly sad, but more just a fact of life and something that I suppose I’ve accepted.

Location: getting ready to have some (more) leftovers
Mood: busy
Music: Went to the Apollo, you should’ve seen ’em go go go
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Travelogue (Kinda) – Downtown NYC

We love weddings and staycations; even better together

A buddy of mine that’s made a number of appearances in this blog over the years under another name got married this past weekend downtown.

The wife and I decided to book a hotel downtown a while ago so that we could have a staycation. But we were worried after the storm hit that the Hilton Doubletree downtown might be damaged so we called and they said everything was fine.

We found out later that this was only partly true.

Getting around downtown with a cane and a buncha bags wasn’t easy, and there was definitely a strong odor of gas/anti-freeze/oil in the air. Everywhere we went, there were ConEd workers and pumps chugging along. Piles and piles of rubbish everywhere.

But we made it to our hotel in one piece.

The thing that was partly true about the hotel was that only two of the three elevators were working. We didn’t think that was going to be a big deal but it ended up meaning long waits for everything.

Me with a cane meant that we couldn’t take the stair so it was a whole lotta hurry up and wait.

We decided to just stay in the hotel for dinner and I ordered myself fried chicken with waffles before crashing.

The next morning, we ordered some breakfast and then went out for a walk. Downtown is really completely different from rest of the city in that it’s streets are a lot like Boston or Philly because of this massive fire in 1776.

We couldn’t believe how much the water rose during the hurricane.

But it was a sunny, if not cold, day so the city looked like it was getting back to normal.

We then went over to Battery Gardens where we sat for a Jewish ceremony complete with my Asian buddy smashing glass at the end and getting hoisted up on a chair.

Saw a number of old friends that I’d not seen in a while.

Also, isn’t it funny when you find out that you have a friend in common with people that you didn’t know knew the same people? That seems to happen more and more these days.

The guy with the shaved head below insisted on getting me food while I sat and nursed my leg – what a mensch! Between him and my wife, I pretty much just sat back and received food and drink. That’s the way to live, my friends.

I’m leaning on a cane below; I wanted one with a silver handle and a fur hat for the festive occasion but the wife put a stop to that idea.

She ruins all my great ideas.

The next day, took almost half-an-hour for the elevator to arrive but we made it home soon enough. Spent the rest of the day nursing my leg; the trip home wiped me out.

Life is slowly getting back to normal for us as well. As it were.

Me: Morning, honey. Oh shoot, I’ve got to call that chicken farmer this morning.
Her: Morning. Wait, what?

Location: planning a trip to an industrial farm
Mood: better
Music: But someone picked you from the bunch
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Flip-flopping is a marketing term

Making informed decisions based upon new information is not a bad thing

While I’m glad that Obama won the election, I’m tired to hearing that Romney was/is a flip-flopper. I disliked his disengenous changing of positions, but the term flip-flopping is a nonsense marketing word like pink slime to push an agenda. It’s the difference between insect-vomit and honey.

George W. Bush refused to change his stance on anything, despite all evidence to the contrary. This is a summarily bad thing.

Thought of this because my friend Alexandra recently sent me this article and it, in turn, made me think of Fujifilm and Kodak.

For those of you too young to know, the two were bitter, bitter rivals in the photo film market. When the world went digital, Fuji saw the writing on the wall and – despite film still being very popular at that time – took a hit early to develop new technologies.

Kodak did not, instead staying the course despite all evidence to the contrary, trying to squeeze every penny from their dying business model.

As of yesterday, Kodak is trying to reinvent itself by selling its only asset, its patent portfolio.

Fuji, meanwhile, changed course and came up with products like the astoundingly advanced Fuji F1, which is potentially a game-changing, stylish camera.

Let me mention that I met Alexandra at my wrasslin class.

A decade ago, I took Judo with this instructor that thought very little of the now popular jiujitsu. Instead, he taught us very traditional judo.

My current jiujitsu coach is the exact opposite, not only teaching us very modern moves, but inventing some of his own, such as the Rat Guard, which I use and love.

He and I talk about that old Judo instructor from time to time.

The funny thing is: they’re both the same person.

He saw the world was changing and changed with it. One of his students is one of the top-ranked fighters in the city, precisely because he saw the direction of the world.

Change is inevitable. The ones that survive and flourish are the ones that change.

Me: You know that thing that I do that annoys you?
Her: You’re going to have to be a lot more specific than that.

The wife is blogging a lot more, which – because it’s a food blog – involves me stuffing my face a lot more as well. She just made a vat of Sage and Brown Butter popcorn so I’ve been eating that non-stop.

Her blog is doing better than mine. I cannot have this.

Must sabotage while still getting the benefit of food.

———-

The article Alexendra sent me, BTW, is about traditional book publishing. I think it’s dying because the world is changing how it consumes books.

Speaking of consuming books…

The Men Made of Stone - Logan Lo
Location: getting ready for meetings, lots of them
Mood: sore
Music: makes it so hard to stay But nothing lasts forever
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Doors close, lights change, and a bell goes off

Normal is still not quite normal

Heartgirl went to work today, her first day back since the hurricane hit.

We’ve been giving to the Red Cross to assuage our survivor’s guilt. If you’d like to do the same, it’s as easy as texting “REDCROSS” to 90999 and you’ve paid back the aether just a little bit.

Here’s a joke to lighten the mood – I told it to you once, years ago:

A father, mother and son from the country goes to the city for the first time. They walk into a department store and are astounded by the amount and variety all the stuff. They marvel at the escalator and all the modern items they see. The mother goes off to look at clothes while the father and son continue staring at things. Presently, they come across an elevator and they watch an old woman walk into it. The doors close, lights change, and a few minutes later, a bell goes off and a beautiful young woman walks out. The father continues to stare ahead but says to his son: “Quick, get your mother.”

It’s not the best joke but it’s one of the few I know.

In any case, been slowly trying to get myself back to normal after the ACL surgery. Weaned myself off the painkillers I’ve been taking for my leg and have been trying to make it to make it to physical therapy as much as possible.

The object in the left in the picture below is actually not some disgusting sausage, it is, however, my disgusting sausage-like leg. The swelling, after two weeks, has gone down a lot but it’s not gone yet.

Knobby knees after ACL surgery

Moreover, if it looks like there’s no muscle there, you’re right. After an hour of hard working out once a day, my left leg still feels like mush. It’s amazing how quickly muscle atrophies without use.

So, I’ve been heading to this physical therapist near my house. It’s close but to get there you wait forever for this tiny elevator to bring you to the fourth floor. At my last session:

Physical Therapist: Let’s see your bend on your right leg. (measures) 145 degrees, that’s impressive.
Me: Oh, I didn’t know you were measuring it. I’m not actually trying to bend it. (bending good leg)
Her: 155 degrees. Wow. (measures left leg) 135 degrees. So, you’ve got a little work to do.
Me: What are the chances of me getting 155 on the left leg?

Her answer was that they have to make the new ACL tighter so that 155 is possible but potentially improbable.

Here’s the thing:

I’m not very strong. I’m not that accurate. I’m very clumsy. I don’t have much reach. I don’t have much stamina.

What I do have is speed. I’m very fast. I was very fast. Because I was flexible.

That was my one thing when it came to fencing, kickboxing, wrestling, etc.

Her: Are you ok? Are you in pain?
Me: (shaking head) Oh yeah. I just … ah …
Her: I’m sorry. Like I said, it’s possible still.

It’s silly, I know. I’m almost 40. I couldn’t expect to be flexible forever. And people all across the city have lost everything while I’ve just lost a little flexibility so I absolutely count myself amongst the very lucky.

So I’ll make this pity party brief (and then text more money to the Red Cross) by saying that it’s just that I’ve never really felt old. I joke about it a lot. But I’ve always felt young. And suddenly I’m very aware that I’m not.

Thought of that joke as I took the elevator down.

And the doors close, lights change, and a few minutes later, a bell goes off and an old man hobbles out.

Location: waiting for a friend
Mood: hard to describe
Music: I’m much too fast to take that test
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Another day, another hurricane

Waiting for Sandy in the UWS

Empire State Building against a cloudy sky

Her: I’m heading to Duane Reade, do you need anything.
Me: Not that I can think of.
Her: What about that section with all the random crap?
Me: Isn’t the whole store just a buncha random crap?

Staying home because of the Hurricane Sandy. Lemme just say that the old saw that you can feel storms approaching via injuries it totally true; my knee has been absolutely killing me for days now and today is no different.

Just like when Hurricane Irene came a year ago, we prepped by charging our batteries, filling the bathtub with water, buying water, and making sure the chili and rum stocks were full.

As I write this, there’s lull in storm at least on the UWS; we’re told it’s going to pick up dramatically in just two hours or so.

Gotta say that having my leg in this brace is a bit worrying but I’m hoping it’s nuthin.

On another point, if you’re trapped indoors and looking for something to do – because of the storm or otherwise – I’m trying a new coupon promotion for my book The Men Made of Stone.

If you have an ebook reader, you can get a copy for $0.99 via coupon code DA49V by clicking here.

And now, I’m off to try to do something to get my mind off this @$#@# leg of mine…

Location: same chair
Mood: discomforted
Music: been locked out of heaven for too long
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Ship of Thesus Paradox

Are we really who we think we are?

Group of bikes chained together at 59th Street, Columbus Circle
There’s this philosophical puzzle that I like to tell people called the Theseus Paradox and it goes like this:

The Greek hero Theseus returned from Crete with new planks on his ship. It turns out that, while Theseus was away, he replaced bits and pieces of his ship all along. The philosopher Plutarch wondered, after hearing this, whether or not it would be the same ship if in fact every piece of that ship was replaced.

In other words, if that were the case, is it the same ship or a completely different ship?

Turning to myself, I know that I am a completely different person than I was when I was in my early 20s. Again different in my late 20s to early 30s. And I think my last major shift in personality and temperament came in my mid-30s. That’s my mental state.

Physiologically, there’s the old adage is that every single one of our cells are replaced every 10 years.

It turns out not to be entirely true, as some brain cells are always ever the same. But even if that is the case, the question remains: how much of us can be replaced so that we are still who we think we are? If 99.87% of us is wholly different than the person we were 10 years ago, are we the same person?

I say this as I look down on my swollen leg. It has the ACL of a dead man now. That fact is neither scary or sad to me, just interesting.

Said it before that Sleepy Logan and Younger Logan have both screwed and helped me in my life.

Met someone recently who proudly said that she was the exact same person with the exact same beliefs she had in her late 30s as she did in her teens.

Me: There are those that would say that you’ve wasted the last 20-some odd years of your life, then. You’ve learned nothing from those versions of yourself.
She: Would you say that?
Me: I would say that the 18-year old you should not hold hostage the destiny of a 38 year-old adult. But I’m here to drink and really, what do I know?

Because, maybe it’s just a cop-out. It’s a way for me not to take responsibility for being a truly terrible person in my possible pasts.

———-

Him: …two weeks, in the Bronx.
Me: I can’t do it. Not with my leg.

It turns out that if you live an eat-what-you-kill life and can’t physically get out the door to do work, your clients get disappointed. Disappointed clients are never good.

Turned down my third gig already this month.

Worried that this injury will be far more costly than I first imagined.

———-

Posting my follow-up to 10 Tips on how to write a good Match, OK Cupid, or POF dating profile: Part 1 on Friday after noon.

You’ll like it, I think.

Location: a chair, finally
Mood: concerned
Music: really want to go out, I really want to go outside
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Puttering around

The first days after an ACL operation are no fun at all

ACL injury in a leg braceFriday was interesting.

Woke up and got a phone call from the hospital at 9AM asking why I wasn’t there yet.

Me: My operation is scheduled for 2:45 today. I’m looking at my confirmation now.
Her: We have you down at 11AM.
Me: You’re kidding me.

She was not.

After several other phone calls, I hurriedly got dressed and hobbled out the door. After a few minutes of trying to get a cab, ended up taking the subway there. Don’t really remember how I made it down the stairs.

After a few more missteps – literally and figuratively – ended up on the cutting table.

Anesthesiologist: So how did you get injured?
Me: The usual, I was talking back to the wife.
Him: (laughing) You’ve got to learn to do that while walking away.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up with my leg wrapped up like a burrito.

The operation was a success and the wife picked me up and took me home. At first it didn’t hurt at all but once the anesthesia wore off, the pain came on hard and fast.

Wasn’t ready for it.

It’s not the pain of where the injury happened. It’s the two holes that they had to drill into my leg to get to the injury plus the two holes they drilled into my bone to attach a replacement (cadaver) ACL that was killing me.

My buddy Cary had gone through this before and told me to just enjoy the pain meds and have a lotta cookie dough. I did as instructed but substituted ice cream for the cookie dough.

Spent the rest of the weekend trying to not be sick from the meds and trying to find a comfortable position. Both were unsuccessful.

I’m told that the first 36 hours are the worst so I’m hoping that’s true. I’ve got 12 more days in this ridiculous contraption around my leg.

No fun at all. Luckily my wife is made of awesome and she made life as comfortable as possible over the weekend. She even got me a donut that was not whole-wheat.

And my mom called me, which was funny, as always.

Her: What about the guy that hurt you? Are you going to sue him?
Me: No. He’s an idiot but I’m not going to sue someone for being an idiot.
Her: Oooooh, I want to punch him! I want to punch him on his nose.

It’s good having people on your side.

———-

I’m posting my follow-up to 10 Tips on how to write a good Match, OK Cupid, or POF dating profile: Part 1 on Friday.

Also, I’m posting at noon from now on, just fyi.

And now, more drugs. At least there’s no oatmeal to go with my vicodin.

Location: bed
Mood: uncomfortable
Music: down on both bad knees. I’m just too much
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It’s hard to get around (things)

Navigating NYC – or just life, for that matter – isn’t easy

Reflecting pool at the east most part of East 72nd Street.Mass transportation in Manhattan is such that to go from West 79th street to East 79th Street involves taking a train down the west side to 42nd street, taking another train across the island, and taking yet another train up the east side to East 79th Street.

Think of a letter “U” and you get the idea.

Instead, took the bus across town cause I didn’t think my leg would be able to handle the trip up and down the stairs on the subway. It’s roughly the same amount of time but a straight shot – most people don’t take the bus for some reason. Which is why I try to.

I’ve noticed that it’s always some little old lady that’ll offer me her seat when she sees me struggling to board with my cane. It’s never the younger guy.

Suppose that they know how hard it is to get around, the older people.

Changing room while at MRI.Made an appointment to see get an MRI done. When I got there, the place was empty. Suppose that people have better things to do on sunny afternoon than be shoved some contraption.

Not me, of course – other people.

Was told to lie still for 25 minutes as this machine scanned me

Him: Stop moving around so much!
Me: Sorry, sorry…

As I hobbled home got a text from Paul. I’m free for a drink or something later if you’re not busy. I’ll bring the rums.

The remainder of the evening involved a good deal of self-medication.

Ended the night with a conversation with another friend over his relationship.

Said it once before: Goodbyes are sad, regardless of how it happens.

Me: You’ve been through this before and made it through ok. So has she, yeah? This’ll happen however it happens.
Him: I know…

Suppose we all know how hard it is to get around.

Location: a chair
Mood: thoughtful
Music: remind myself that times could be much worse
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