Finishing a fight
Her: I’m a fan of all of your different personalities. (thinking) Wait, that’s not true, there is one Logan I’m not a fan of.
Me: Which one?
Her: The one that cuts like a knife. Not a fan of that one.
Most of my life these days is being a dad.
Her: Would you ever be a [lawyer/martial arts instructor/network analyst/etc] again?
Me: (thinking) I’m happy with my quiet life being Mr. Mom.
But I felt my old self come back for a fleeting moment the other day when, after school, the boy ran to me crying with blood going down his face and shirt.
He said an older girl kicked him in the face.
Saw red for a moment but calmed down as best I could. The girl – a teenager – saw me and took off running. So, I cleaned him up and brought him to his scheduled Chinese class.
But then another parent wrote me to tell me that the girl had come back.
So, I went back to the schoolyard to speak to her. The lawyer in me told me to record the whole thing so I did that.
I found them so simple and stupid.
I think I hate kids. Except my own, that is.
The girl told me that my kid started it by kicking a ball towards them and she kicked the ball back at him and knocked out his tooth.
My son later insisted that this was false, she kicked him directly in the face.
I should mention right now that it was a baby tooth, which is part of the reason I decided not to escalate this.
She said she was protecting her friend, who was a boy, vastly overweight, and the same height as me. This annoyed me.
Me: You understand he’s seven, right? You’re a lot older than him just like I’m a lot older than you.
Her: (stares blankly)
Me: You really should be embarrassed with yourselves, picking on a seven year old.
Admittedly, there was a part of me that wanted to beat the snot outta all of them.
But I can only imagine the papers the next day.
Spoke to my MIL, who told me that I did everything right.
It honestly didn’t feel that way. But I suppose she’s right.
Spoke to the kid afterward.
Me: What were you thinking kicking a ball at kids *that* much bigger than you?
Him: (shrugging) I don’t know.
Me: Here’s the thing: If anyone hits you, you have my absolute permission to hit them back. But it cuts both way, kid. You threw a ball at them, they had a right to defend themselves. I’ll never get mad at you for finishing a fight, but I will get mad at you for starting one.
Him: Are you mad now?
Me: (shaking head) I’m not happy but, no, I’m not mad. I’m just glad you’re ok. Let’s not get into another fight for another seven years – at least – ok?
Him: OK. (thinking) You promised me ice cream if I lost a tooth.
Me: (laughing) I did. A deal’s a deal, right kid?
Him: (smiling his now gap-toothed smile) Yeah!
Location: this morning, running down to Chinatown to get some food and a haircut before grabbing the kid for jits
Mood: less annoyed
Music: She’s so good with her stiletto, you don’t even see the blade (Spotify)
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