A little déjà vu

An unexpected night at the gym

Pez was helping out again with the boy and the two of them randomly decided to go to the High Line together.

She sent me some hilarious pics but I can’t post most of them.

They came back for dinner and afterward, she said, “I’m thinking of heading to class tonight.”

Me: Whoa, wait, are you driving?
Her: Depending on traffic, probably.
Me: Can you bring the kid and me?
Her: Sure, do you have a car seat?
Me: (puzzled) I’m a parent. I have a car seat.

I got clearance from the gym owners and Chad, the instructor, to bring him.

It was the first time that I’d ever brought him to the gym and both he and the people there were great. I gave explicit instructions for him not to leave the bench for any reason and he didn’t.

Because Chad and most of the upper belts knew him, they all made sure he was fine. Mouse was there too and he spent several minutes trying to get her attention. In the end, they caught up and it was sweet to see. For a moment, I forgot.

Afterward, Pez gave us a lift back. But not without some more entertainment.

Him: That was fun. Can we go again?
Me: It’s like two hours after your bedtime. I think that’s the real reason you want to go again.
Him: (sleepily) No…

If my birthday was the most I’ve been insulted in recent memory, then the past few days have been some of the most ego-boosting I’ve had in a while.

A girl I dated a while ago rang me to hang out recently; I hadn’t seen her in ages. So, we met up around her new pad. I told her about some of the conversations I had recently.

Her: Kinks? I seem to only really like guys that graduated from Stuyvesant High School.
Me: That’s a weird kink.
Her: (continuing) There’s you and X and Y. That’s three. You’re all smart and cute.

Her: So, you and Mouse are finally done?
Me: Looks that way.
Her: Good. I met the perfect girl for you.
Me: (shaking head) Nope, nope, nope. No more setups. Do you know how many setups I’ve had in the past month? Actually, my whole life?
Her: (shaking her head) They don’t know you like I know you. This girl’s exactly your type. 33, blond, busty, green eyes, super smart, and a boss. Wants a family.
Me: OK, I need a picture. (hands me her phone) Whoa, ok. What’s wrong with her?
Her: (shrugging) I don’t know if she’s good enough for you yet.
Me: First of all, super flattering. Second of all, you just said…
Her: You deserve the best. I told her all about you, so we’ll see.
Me: Hopefully not everything. I like to surprise people with some of the things I can do.

Honestly, the biggest turn-on – my biggest kink, if you will – is kind people. There’s something about someone that goes out of their way to make your life better.

Conversely, there’s something so ugly about people when they’re cruel and hurtful. It’s the biggest turn-off.

Anywho, she and I didn’t work out for reasons we don’t need to get into here. But she was beyond sweet and I told her that.

Thank goodness for the good souls.

Her: I started seeing this guy I really like so I’m not gonna invite you back to my place.
Me: Good choice, we’ve got alcohol and you’re being incredibly sweet so that’s a dangerous combo for me.
Her: I thought you didn’t make out with your friends.
Me: (laughing) I never said we were friends, darling.
Her: (smiling) It’s good seeing you again, Logan. I’ve missed you.
Me: Same, Lviv. Good luck with your fella.

Saying goodbye to her was reminiscent of Daisy and Gradgirl because they, like her, belong to someone else.

But, I suppose we all have our roles to play and I guess I’ve finally accepted mine as the other guy, which is precisely what a woman once told ages ago.

See, she wanted to fix me up with her kid but she didn’t know how old I was so I politely declined.

And she got upset and said I only seem to seek out people that can’t be in relationships because I enjoyed the game. I told her that wasn’t true, I was looking for my biggest fan.

But maybe – now – she’s right. After all, I was the love of someone’s life once and that should be enough.

Boy: You’re home!
Me: I am.
Him: How was your friend?
Me: Very sweet.
Him: I wanted to meet her.
Me: (laughing) I think you’ve met enough of papa’s friends. Come on, let’s go play.

Location: Upper east side
Mood: flattered
Music: This is feeling a little déjà vu (Spotify)
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Being scared and being brave

Aren’t mutually exclusive

The boy’s not been feeling well so I had to cancel/rearrange a lotta my weekend plans.

Him: Are you mad?
Me: I’m not mad, I’m worried, there’s a difference.
Him: (apprehensive) Is this going to hurt?
Me: It’s gonna feel uncomfortable but, no, it won’t hurt.
Him: (begins to cry)
Me: No. Stop crying. I need you to be brave.
Him: But, I’m scared.
Me: Being scared and being brave aren’t mutually exclusive, kid. You have to be scared to be brave, otherwise, you’re just nuts. You’re not nuts are you? (he shakes head) Good. Be brave. You get points in life for being brave.

I think he’s ok. We’ll see.

Should note that I felt a lot more scared myself than I let on. A kid needs confidence that everything will be ok, even if you don’t necessarily feel that yourself.

Goddamn, being a parent is often…difficult. Being a single parent is that much worse.

On that note, I was scrambling to find coverage for him recently and I needed someone I could trust with him, especially since he wasn’t feeling well, so I reached out to Pez.

She was a doll and came by on on Monday to watch him so I could get some things done.

Chad swung by as well to make sure it was all handled; it’s nice knowing I have people that care.

Unfortunately, it appears that the boy hijacked Pez’s phone as evidenced by the above video grab…

All-in-all, I bailed on three women this past weekend but managed to see a blond banker for some Korean BBQ.

Decided that I’m only going to eat Korean BBQ when I go out from now on because it’s just so easy to stay keto/paleo without doing anything special. I’m a solid 153 right now, three pounds from my ideal weight.

Anywho, meeting up with people is just interesting to see what life out in the world is like.

After all, my regular friends all have some aspects that mirror me, whereas strangers provide glimpses into lives I know nothing about.

The blond banker told me that another guy asked her out and she had already agreed to meet him when he – without first having met her, just based on her looks alone – asked her to come move in with him and he would also cover all her bills.

Seriously, how shallow – and I say this as an alleged shallow, selfish, womanizing, narcissist – are people these days?

Her: It was kind of a cool offer but, meet a girl first, you know?
Me: Well, my son and I’ll take him up on his offer if he’s still looking.
Her: (laughing) You and your son want to live with him?
Me: If he’s paying all my bills and giving us free room and board, sure. Plus I cook. I don’t clean though.

Seriously, thank god for the average frustrated chump. They make grey men like me look amazeballs.

Her: (texting me later on that night and sending the below) Thanks for dinner! I think I was actually very nice to this guy.

Me: Please, for the love of god, please let me [share this].
Her: LOL! As long as you don’t [leave any identifying information], go for it.

Location: my blue bathroom, asking if he’s ok
Mood: so very entertained
Music: I would never break this promise (Spotify)
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Breaking my own heart

Kicked outta bed

Recently, there’s been a spate of just awful news coming out about Asians getting brutally assaulted in NYC. But  I was surprised to get a phone call about one such assault that I just read about.

Her: I need some help. Is there a good time I can call you?

Turns out that she was called to be a trustee for this woman that died from her injuries from one of these beatings and wanted my legal advice. I told her that I couldn’t technically offer legal advice but I would help if I could.

After all, I don’t know where I would be myself if people didn’t try and help Alison and me.

Me: Sure. We can chat now. Let me get my headset.

I started my son in a Chinese class not too far from my house. It was oddly nerve-wracking for me but the teacher made me feel at ease.

Her: You don’t speak to your son in Chinese at home?
Me: Lady, *I* can barely speak Chinese.
Her: Well, I have to say, I’ve never met a child that didn’t speak Chinese that was so … social. He literally walked in like he knew everyone here.
Me: Yeah, that sounds like him.
Her: Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it. (laughing) Oh, during the kitchen portion, while we were pretending to make a sandwich, he made an actual one and ate it.
Me: Oh yeah, that’s definitely my kid. Sorry about that.

Note that everyone’s been calling me, not the other way around.

I point this out only because I find it funny how literally no one contacts me in the past year due to COVID but since the day I wrote that I got the vaccine, the floodgates open.

On that note, My buddy Mas stopped by to catch up and bring me out to lunch. We’ve known each other since forever.

Me: Do you talk to anyone else from back in the day?
Him: Nope, just you.
Me: I think we’re the only ones that, pretty much, look the same as we did 20 years ago.
Him: I think I look better actually. I’ve been on the carnivore diet – essentially just meat and fat with leafy greens. No carbs.
Me: Jesus. That’s even harder core than me.

He was there on the night I met Alison. Dunno if I ever told you that.

The blurry pic below is the only one I could find of Mas and me from that night – he’s in the lower right hand-corner.

It was almost exactly 13 years ago, April 7, 2008. I was just about to turn 35. It was a little after midnight when this pic was taken and I had just made out with the blonde behind me.

30 minutes later, I had her number and was walking out the door, when I met Alison McCarthy right before 1AM. She was walking in with her date, Tall Scott, but asked me to stay.

Instead, I left, but not before telling her that we’d have beautiful children someday. All these years, later, I was right about that.

Well, fuck me. I think I just broke my own goddamn heart.

Speaking of eating out with friends, someone I dated once dropped me a line unexpectedly and invited me out to dinner.

I’m super busy with life and the kid these days but it’s hard to say no to people that are just nice to you, like Mas and her. In this world, I think nice is underrated.

It helps that she’s a hot, grey-eyed, busty blonde that’s the same age as I was in the pic above, but you get my drift.

God, I’m so shallow.

Honestly, I judge alla these people that wanna hang out with a shallow, selfish, womanizing narcissist like me.

Speaking of hanging out with a fella like me, a chat with a green-eyed nurse I had recently proves that, again, I’m not – at all – equipped to deal with modern love.

Me: You know, you’re the second girl I know that had someone slap them in the face while fooling around. When did this become a thing?
Her: Did she kick him out of bed, smash his phone against the wall, and tell him to never fucking call her again?
Me: No idea. But that’s kinda hot (quickly) what you did, not what he did. (laughing) I can assure you that that’s not my thing.
Her: So, what’s your thing?
Me: You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. No girl ever does.
Her: Try me.
Me: I will. But not tonight.

Location: earlier today, asking the doorman if I was in the right place
Mood: hopeful
Music: I like the way your heart works, not cold like the others (Spotify)
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Don’t let damaged people damage you

Do you want a report?

Lviv’s still looking for her person.

Her: This 47 year-old hit on me the other day. People that are 47 look super old.
Me: Wait, I’m 47.
Her: (scoffing) You don’t look THAT old.

ML also dropped me a line. Some guy was super upset he got rejected by her so he wrote her this nasty, nasty email. I find that disappointing.

Me: There are lots of damaged people in the world. Don’t let their damage damage you.
Her: Thank you for that.

Dating’s rough in general and doesn’t get any easier as you get older. On that note, I also got a ring from the ABFF yesterday.

ABFF: One guy wrote me and asked me how my weekend was. I was like, “Do you want a report?!”
Me: Maybe he was just trying to be nice?
Her: Look, Logan, I’m just trying to keep rapists and murderers away from my kids…
Me: Jeez! That should be a general life goal, irrespective of kids.
Her: …and I agree with you 100% on “LOLs.” Like, what are you, a balloon? It’s hard meeting someone normal in their 40s.
Me: Wait, there’re normal guys in their 40s. I’m in my 40s.
Her: Nope. I’m not doing this backhanded compliment thing with you where you get to brag that you look great for your age.
Me: Well, that’s disappointing.

I think the pandemic’s getting on the nerves of single people. A buddy of mine’s getting tired of being cooped up so he’s been hitting on randos he meets on the streets. It reminded me of a conversation I had once.

OK, many times.

Her: Sorry, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, good thing I’m gay then.
Her: (laughs)

Interestingly, Lviv, Mouse, and the ABFF are all at career – and personal – crossroads.

After Mouse drove me back to my pad from the Scenic Fights shoot, I invited her to come in to eat and watch a flick.

Mouse: No. I have a headache. Man, that’s the first time I’ve ever used that excuse before.
Me: I literally just asked if you wanted to eat and watch a flick.
Her: Sorry, still trying to get a handle on all my heath things. OK, I’ll come in. We can spin the wheel of misfortune! See where we end up.
Me: Always good to be positive.

We ended up watching a completely innocuous rom-com called Love, Guaranteed. I’m always a sucker for a good passable rom-com.

While very trite, I did like that that they made this guy who was an avowed womanizer a good person. The women he met, he didn’t end up with but they all thought he was generally a good and decent guy.

In that respect, I thought it was rather unique. Also, they had a the main female character drive a Karmann Ghia.

Me: I used to want one so bad. But they don’t run fast.
Mouse: Perfect, neither do you.
Me: So glad you decided to come in, Mouse…

Podcast Version
Location: this morning, getting pressured in LIC
Mood: busy
Music: save all your dirtiest jokes for me (Spotify)
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How JFK killed the hat industry

The president leads

A cornerstone of this blog is that communication isn’t what you say, it’s what the listener hears. That’s because this is my blog and that’s a cornerstone of my life.

Above’s a picture of JFK’s presidential inauguration. Look at the men in the crowd of the picture. What do you see?

Hats. Dudes wore hats back then. Period.

But now, check out Johnson’s inauguration pic just a few years later. Notice that, while there are hats, there are a lot fewer of them.

What happened?

The answer’s pretty simple; JFK generally didn’t wear hats. And dudes that saw him walk around without a hat thought – consciously or unconsciously – Well, if he’s not wearing a hat, I’m not gonna wear one either.

Did JFK purposely go out of his way to single-handedly destroy the hat-making industry in America? Probably not. But that’s what happened.

Unintended consequences and alla that.

I’ve been noticing that the deep red people I know are suddenly fixated on China as the evil empire – which it is, for sure – when they never previously posted anything about it before.

Similarly, wearing a mask has become a political statement versus a simple safety measure.

I also note that Trump has generally not worn a mask and that the US now leads the world in COVID-19 rates and deaths.

To say that JFK destroyed the hat industry is to simply go back and piece together facts.

To say that Trump killed his fellow Americans by the thousands is probably similarly accurate, although only time will tell.

As for me, I’m glad that JFK didn’t wear hats because, with my huge head, I’d probably block out the sun.

Podcast Version
Location: Battery Park City, seeing about a girl
Mood: hot, hot heat
Music: I’m just gonna go out (Spotify)
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Young Boy Logan

Helping after the fact

I don’t give everyone I meet a name because I never know if something is going anywhere enough to merit that.

But, I finally met up with this girl ML for a first date on Friday night after penpaling for a bit because of COVID.

Like I said, having antibodies is assuredly fun.

And, I’m finding that I definitely have a type because she’s super sweet and attractive.

Me: I would put it in this order: Kindness first, and then ambition second. Because pretty goes away but those types of things stay.
ML: I would say kindness, and then honesty.
Me: Shoot, now I want to change my answer to kindness first, honesty second, ambition third, and, oh, probably big boobs fourth.
Her: (laughs) You’re so shallow!
Me: Wait, what about one, two, and three?! I’m deep, really. I just like what I like.

She was in the mood for some Korean food so I made her some.

Normally, a first date is just a walk, but we’d been talking for a while so I figured it was fine. The thing is that I live on the ground floor of a building so I can imagine that it’s a bit terrifying for someone to meet a total stranger by going through a large metal gate and into a relatively dark apartment.

We hung out most of the night so she eventually relaxed and said that when she first walked in, she was very apprehensive.

Me: (puzzled) Wait, if you were afraid I was going to hurt you why didn’t you run out the door?
Her: Because I gave my mom your address.
Me: But, if I was going to hurt you, that would only help you after the fact.
Her: I don’t care as long as justice is served.

We ended up consuming way too much wine and carbs and it was super late when the night ended.

Me: Here’s a toothbrush.
Her: Do you have a constant stream of people coming by?
Me: (shrugging) I’m just centrally located is all. You have to brush with children’s toothpaste, though.

Her: I’ve never done that before.
Me:  It’s good for you. You’re welcome.

Speaking of children (wait for it), Lviv came by early the next day for brekkie and a cup of coffee as we both had plans for the day.

She showed me this cool filter on Snapchat that makes people look like they’re children – I stress that she’s over 30 in real life. That’s her with an Old Man Logan.

I have my rules, people.

Me: Do you want a toothbrush?
Her: You know, brushing your teeth too soon after you eat isn’t good for your teeth?
Me: So I’ve been told. But every guest gets a toothbrush and brekkie in the morning.

I passed out not soon after she left. I still managed to chat with the boy some before I did, though.

Son: It’s Independence Day!
Me: Yup! It’s a special day: It’s America’s Birthday!
Him: Can we sing it, “Happy Birthday?!”
Me: (laughing) Sure! (we sing)

I briefly checked in on Mouse to see about her dad. She only ever spends the 4th of July with family, or those she considers family, so we’ve never actually spent the 4th together.

I was supposed to head out to Brooklyn to see BrightBea but she was going to a small gathering and I wasn’t in the mood to meet new people so we just chatted online.

Me: You’d be surprised how many people don’t want to video chat.
BrightBea: Oh, I get that. Either they’re really interested in you or they’re really not.
Me: Wait, how does that work?
Her: Well, if you’re really interested in the person, you have to put on makeup and all that, and no one looks great online. But, if you’re not that interested, you don’t want to bother putting on makeup in the first place.
Me: Speak for yourself about not looking great online, lady.

Ended the night with just me and Harold, which is fairly typical of my 4ths of Julys. I miss the boy plus Alison and my dad, of course.

Mouse is right: 4th of July is for family and I haven’t had that in years.

No offense to Harold.

Maybe next year will be different. One can only hope.

Podcast Version
Location: heading up to Harlem
Mood: nostalgic
Music: Don’t know why I do this (Spotify)
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Giving me a chance

I hate May

Me: Man, it’s been ages. I gotta ask, so are you gay or bisexual now?
Jaerik: (laughing) Gay. I told you this about six years ago, it wasn’t a long conversation, but I told you.
Me: Sorry, my memory is so bad these days after everything that’s happened. The last I remember is your female ex? I have no recollection of you coming out.
Him: Ah, yeah, I told you. It’s fine. You’ve been through a lot.
Me: You know what my first thought when I found out? It was: “Thank god. The last thing I need as competition in life is a single, attractive former male model that’s making bank as a lead programmer for Amazon. As a straight man, thank you for being gay and giving guys like me a chance.”
Him: (laughs)

Now that I’ve gotten the coronavirus under control, I’ve been catching up with people I’ve not spoken to in ages.

I’ve also been meeting a lot of new people for reasons that aren’t really important. Although, honestly, being a guy with antibodies during a lockdown is…interesting.

On that note, the grey-eyed writer has a dog. I can’t do dogs in my apartment. It’s one of my rules.

And that’s why I hate dating in NYC. The disappointment is one thing but disappointing other human beings is another.

Then again, some disappointments are things you don’t even see coming.

Me: Are you here for the COVID test? I just got it.
Girl in a green mask: Really? How long was the wait?
Me: 30 minutes from where you are to the door, then 30 mins inside, and 15 minutes in the exam room?
Her: Oh, that’s great. Did you find out yet?
Me: Yup, just last night. I’m positive for the antibodies. It’s weird getting a medical exam and being excited for a positive result.
Her: (laughs, pulls down mask) You’re funny, what’s your name?
Me: Logan. And you?
Her: Alison.
Me: (nodding slowly) Of course it is. (stepping back) Well, it was lovely meeting you, Alison. I hope everything goes your way.
Her: Oh…
Me: As an aside, you have a lovely name. I think that “Alison” is just about the prettiest name there is. I wish you every good thing.


It’s Mother’s Day on Sunday.

Then it’s my Alison’s birthday.

And then it’s the shittiest day of the year.

I hate May. I hate May more than I can express.

Podcast Version: Giving me a Chance
Location: my empty apartment, now with tons of pizza
Mood: fulla pizza but still very empty
Music: I try, I really do (Spotify)
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I’m kind of a late…

What’s so funny?

Been catching up with lotsa people from various walks of life, including RE Mike.

Before I knew it, I’m on a subway heading downtown…

… and on some billionheiress’s  private guest list (for serious).

Me: Hi, I’m Logan. I’m kind of a late addi…
Greeter: Logan Lo?
Me: Uh, yeah!
Her: (laughing) I just added you. You don’t need to wait in line. 66th Floor. (puts a red ribbon around my wrist) Have fun.

RE Mike was, and will always be, amazing.

Anywho, the party was pretty nuts. That’s all I’ll say on the matter.

Mainly cause I got pics…

Me: Hi, I need a photographer for the evening. You game?
Girl1: (laughing) Sure!

Fella1: What I really need is a copyright lawyer.
Me: Oh man, are you in luck…

Me: Well, now that’s something you don’t see every day.

Girl3: Wait, you’re leaving?! So early?
Me: Yeah. I gotta see about a girl. Nice meeting you.

Me: (walking in late) Hey. (laughs)
Her: (laughs) What’s so funny?
Me: You tell me.
Her: (later) I kept hoping it was you.

Location: the 66th floor in the pics above
Mood: ready to suffer and ready to hope
Music: I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind

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Blogarama - Observations Blogs

I have my rules

Whatever works for you, bud

Her: Hey!
Me: Hey!

Ran into a girl from my gym today while I was walking with the boy.  Like I said a million times before, NYC’s a small town sometimes.

Turns out that she babysits in my area. I’m literally collecting babysitters like other people collect Pokemon.

Speaking of babysitters, I was chatting with someone the other day on the train that mentioned that she babysat. As the Germangirl used to say, I’m a talker/glattzüngig.

Her: Your son’s so cute!
Me: Thanks! I have to keep him regardless, but the cute helps. (later) Oh, you’re right by my gym. You should join us, it’ll change your life.
Her: (laughing) Sure. Let me know when you’re around.

She’s super young but seems like a sweetheart. She has a blog as well. I miss having a group of blogger friends.

Speaking of the gym, I legit thought I’d have to change gyms this week for a number of reasons. I even called up a new one in my area to find out details to switch.

I swear, I have PTSD from my old gym.

Him: You’re fine.
Me: I was actually more anxious about this than I woulda imagined.

Speaking of friends, spoke to another young lady I knew from waaay back but never made it into this here blog.

She’s going through a breakup too, as is a friend of hers. We said we’d all get together at some point. She also wrote me something very nice about her friend and me.

Speaking of friends getting together, saw Curt a few more times. He and I have radically different ideas of what it’s like to be out and about in the city. Radically.

Her: 23.
Me: (laughing) Of course your are. Let’s play a game: How old does my friend look? (pointing at Curt)
Her: 25?
Me: OK, and me?
Her: A bit older. 27?
Me: I’m older than that, but thanks for making my night! Enjoy your evening, ladies.
Curt: (later) See, you care about things like that. The moment they told you their age, I saw you check out. And she’s the best looking person here.
Me: (shrugging) Still not my type; just seeing if I’m still me. Besides, I have my rules.
Him: (shaking head) You and your rules. I honestly don’t get you at all.
Me: (getting up to leave) It’s simple, man. She’s not the prize. (pointing at self) I’m the prize.
Him: (shaking head) You’re nuts.
Me: No, I’m Harvard. See, anyone can apply. Not everyone makes it in. Besides, I’m just killing time. I know what I want.
Him: (laughing, rolling eyes) Whatever works for you, bud.

Location: out and about
Mood: thoughtful
Music: makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else

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Blogarama - Observations Blogs

Christmas 2013

Holiday parties to end 2013

Me: Wait, $1.2 million in one day in Baccarat?!

Last week, was fighting a cold and cancelled my fencing class for the first time. But felt better enough to make it to several holiday parties towards the end of the week. Think I gained about five pounds.

One party I went to was at the Williams Club – now called The William – where we got a tour before it fully finished. Ended up drinking with my boss and some clients at a private table in the Peacock Room.

No good rum, so I downed an Old Fashioned or two until 11PM or so.

Another was out in Queens at the same restaurant I had a wedding reception at. Ended up walking home with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black.

Again, not aged rum, but it’ll do.

At another party, in a club, met a German industrialist and his wife. He told me that they were visiting the US and we ended up talking about Las Vegas.

Him: We can’t go there. My wife just lost $1.2 million there the last time we went.
His Wife: (rolling eyes) He’s exaggerating. I started with $600,000, got up to $1.2, and then lost it. So it was only half that.
Me: Clearly I’m in the wrong profession.

As I do every year, if you read the same book I do, have yourself a Happy Christmas!

And if you don’t, have yourself a happy holiday!

See you back here on Monday.

Location: desk, last working day of the year
Mood: hopeful
Music: It’s been a long night in new york city
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