Tag: interesting facts

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personal

Everything you have now you once wished for

More than anything

Him: (playing guitar and suddenly noticing me) Hey, what are you doing?
Me: (standing at his doorway) Sorry, was just in the kitchen and heard you play. Didn’t mean to scare you.
Him: Oh. Do you want to hear what I’ve been working on? I can play you what I got so far.
Me: (wiping hands and sitting down) Sweeet! I’d love that.

My last entry stuck in my head because of a line I wrote which was that there was once a time I dreamt of having all that I have.

    • I have a great kid that is smart, talented, kind, and healthy. That alone is worth the world to me.
    • Speaking of kids, as a kid, I had this thing called Compuserve for like two weeks because I got some sort of free trial of it somehow. It was pre-pre-prehistoric Internet. And I thought it was the most amazing thing ever. My mind could never have imagined internet and alla you people reading me.
      • This is to say nothing about the communication device/GPS/music player/video camera/photo camera/translation device/television/video game system that we all keep in my back pocket 24/7.
    • I regularly look at Sara and think, “How on earth did I convince someone as drop dead gorgeous and sweet as Sara to marry me?”
      • Granted, I may have incriminating dirt on her, but still…

    • I wrote a book, or two, that I’m proud of and this blog has been 20 years of me just putting my thoughts out into the aether, hoping someone responds – and, most times, someone does.
    • I was a respected member of the bar, and my office regularly tells me that they’d love for me to come back and do more work; I remember being in law school anxious that I’d never find a job.
      • Heck, I remember being sick with anxiety about even making it to law school, or college, or my high school, or my middle school.
    • When I was a fat kid, I dreamt, more than anything, to be slim and have friends. I’ve now been slim for at least 12 times longer than I’ve been fat.

    • I’ve always had massive imposter syndrome when it came to my ability to fight but I just destroyed a guy that was my level, twenty years younger than me, and 40 pounds heavier than me. Just…destroyed him. And this happens more often than I would have expected.
    • My mortgage is paid off some six years early and I live in the heart of Manhattan, something I dreamt of all the time when I was in Cornell.

I could go on, but I don’t wanna sound like I’m bragging.

I’m not.

I’m just reminding myself that everything I have now I once desperately wished – more than anything – for.

And I couple this idea with another one that I heard someone say once: You’re in the middle of the last big great thing you wished for.

Alison and I dreamt so much – you cannot imagine how much, which is why her death guts me – about being parents and now I am one.

Yes, it’s not at all the way I thought it would be and it’s far more difficult than I ever would have imagined.

But still, I have to remind myself that I’m in the middle of the thing that Alison and I (mainly Alison) worked so hard to have.

May is tough on the kid and me for reasons you know, and this year has been no different.

But I’m better enough now to recognize that I need to be grateful for all that I do have and not dwell on everything that I don’t.

I’m also not in a hurry for the next big thing because this thing I’m in now, is pretty good.

Mostly.

Me: Hey can I…gah! What’s on your face!?
Her: (face mask on face and with a southern accent) Look Logan, you’re used to “Tryna Get Me a Man, Sara.”
Me: Wha?
Her: This here is “Done Got Me A Man, Sara.”
Me: I don’t think this is what I signed up for. 
Her: (shakes head) Too late. No backsies.

Location: where I belong
Mood: grateful
Music: There’s so much more. Be grateful (Spotify)
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The last analog decade

The 90s were seminal for me

Her: Listen, you old geezer.
Me: Did you just insult me with a lame name?
Her: …yes.
Me: I don’t know what I found more offensive, the insult itself or the lameness of it.
Her: I apologize for the lameness. (pause) But not the sentiment.
Me: Fine.

Heard a fact the other day that blew my mind:

Back to the Future, which I saw in theatres, came out in 1985 and was about a distant time in the past, 1955 – which was 30 years prior.

Welp, it’s 2026 now and 30 years prior was…1996.

That was three years AFTER I graduated college.

This was Sara in college – waaaay after the 90s. But I did wanna say that she was probably outta my league back then (and maybe now too – don’t tell her).

Sara essentially grew up in the 90s but I went to college and became a young adult in the 90s.

The 90s were when I stopped being my parent’s kid (mostly) and started being my own person.

In any case, I read something the other day that echoed this about the last analog generation, which was GenX, my generation.

Me with Taiji master Erle Montaigue – he was a pretty polarizing figure, but he was always really nice and cool with me. Died years ago. I’d been doing martial arts since I was a kid.

If GenX was the last analog generation, then the 90s was the last analog decade.

I say this because I worked – deeply – in tech during this time and I saw firsthand that:

    • Analog media was still the default – newspapers, magazines, etc.
    • Online social media wasn’t really a thing yet – Friendster came out in 2002 and was the first real social platform that anyone used.
    • We shared stuff physically – tapes, minidiscs, CDs, etc.
    • We communicated both digitally and analog but digital was optional.

By 2010, this wasn’t true at all.

And now, literally nuthin is analog anymore.

That’s my buddy Kar who now has FOUR kids – one of whom looks pretty much exactly like her.

Everything is digital, which – let’s be honest here – is often better than what we grew up with.

But there was something about a life that was less superficially connected back then versus now, where we all seem to feel pressure to keep up with…everything and everyone.

Like, in the 90s, to have a social interaction, you actually had to walk out your door and strike up a conversation with someone or pick up the phone and give someone a call.

I met alla my good friends at that time either at college, or through people I met in college or law school.

And we all had more shared cultural experiences because we just had fewer choices available.

I can’t think of the 90s without thinking of this show.

The other thing is that I – and a lotta people my age – grew up as a latchkey kid, which really came about in the 80s.

For those of you that don’t know what that term means, a latchkey kid was a kid that came home to an empty home after school and let him/herself in and took care of him/herself.

But that meant that we were free from supervision and were pretty self-reliant.

Compare that with how attached people are to their phones and their social circles – even if a kid did come home to an empty apartment, he would hardly be “alone.”

Nowadays, there are cameras and speakerphones for a parent to check in on their kids, and a kid has any number of friends online with which to chat with.

Being alone is barely possible these days.

Rain and me, probably at Cafe Orlin or Yaffa Cafe downtown. A lotta the late 90s early 2000s was in cafes.

I honestly don’t know how much of the 90s remains with me nor do I know how those things manifest from me.

And that means I truly don’t know how much of my old analog life comes out in my current digital one.

But I know that it’s gotta because the 90s were such a seminal part of my adult life.

Looking back at all these pictures, it didn’t feel like it was 25-30 years ago, but the numbers/dates don’t lie.

While the 90s are long gone they definitely shaped how I see, connect, and move through this modern digital world.

And even though the digital world is better in a thousand ways, it doesn’t replace the feeling of growing up in a world where you had to show up in person to matter.

Maybe that’s why the idea that the 90s were the last analog decade hits so hard for me; it was the last time most things were analog and digital was a choice and not a requirement.

And the echoes of that last decade are something only I, and those of us that lived through it, can hear.

Location: in my head, the corner of West 45th Street and 6th Avenue at 3AM sometime in the mid 90s, stumbling home drunk from a club with numbers scribbled on my palm and wondering when life would be grand, not realizing that it already was.
Mood: nostalgic
Music: I can do whatever I want, I can see whomever I choose (Spotify)
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Choosing not to age

The best one I can make

Him: You’re 50?!
Me: Well, 53 as of last week.
Him: I would have put you at 38 or so.
Me: It’s the toupee – people think the hair’s the most important thing but it’s really the glue that matters.
Him: (laughs) Besides good genes, do you do anything special?
Me: (shrugging) I just choose not to age.
Him: How does a guy choose not to age?

The Scenic Fights producers were pretty sweet and posted a nice birthday greeting for me on the YouTube channel.

Didn’t think they would tell the viewers my actual age since I figured they would want people to believe what they wanted to believe but they listed it after all.

What’s wild is that, as of this writing, I have 560 comments on the post, mainly with people either just wishing me well or wishing me well but also not believing that I’m 53.

The thing is that getting chronologically older isn’t a choice but getting biologically older is a choice and it’s one that people make every single day.

Half of it is that, because I was a fat kid, I’ve been watching what I put into my body since I was 12 years old – the same age as Sara’s kid now.

See, you make a choice every single time you pick something to put into your body.

Like when I was in college, in Dickson Hall, I lived with a hippie that refused to have a bagel.

Asked him why and he said, “Because a bagel has 35 grams of carbs and that’s more than my total for the day.”

It was the first time I’d ever heard the word, “carbs” so I went to the library (this was waaaaay before the internet) and got some books and read up on what that meant.

And I was mindful, since that random day, about how many carbs I ate.

Likewise, as a club promoter, I’d often end my nights at a diner on 3rd Avenue called the Around the Clock Diner – it’s long since closed.

Anywho, I remember that I went with some women after event and someone ordered this huge plate of chili cheese fries and I declined to have any.

Some girl: Logan’s always on a diet.
Some other girl: He doesn’t need to be on a diet.
Me: Yeah. That’s because I’m always on a diet.

I was still out with alla my friends.

I was still living the NYC young adult life.

I just was careful with what I let into my body and life.

Still am.

The other half is what we do with the roughly 28,260 days we all get.

I never stopped physically playing.

See, we call it “the gym” as adults, but my kid just asks, “Can I go outside and play?”

When I’m waving sticks and swords around or rolling around with people trying to not get strangled, I’m not really so much doing violence as I’m just…playing.

Like football is crazy violent. It’s also a game. It’s also play.

I chose not to age because I choose to never stop playing, which keeps my mind and body young.

It’s not a chore to go to the gym.

Because it’s not a chore to go play.

It’s the opposite of a chore, in fact. My kid understands that.

Shockingly few of my peers understand that.

Alla that is why getting chronologically old isn’t a choice but getting biologically older is.

We’re choosing with every food choice we make, the life we wanna live down the line.

And it all adds up, like Jacob Marley’s chains.

And like those chains, we wear the bodies we forge in life, bit by bit, cell by cell; we girded it on of our own free-will, and of our own free will, we wear it.

So, I am careful – very careful – with what I wear eat and do.

Because I believe this is the only life we get, so I want it to be the best one I can make it.

Although, on that note, I probably should cut back slightly on all that fiber.

Her: (turning to me) What happened to you in there!? Look at your hair!
Me: (exiting smallest room in my pad) It was an experience.
Her: Yes? Should I be jealous?
Me: No, you’ll always be my number one. (pause) Although that was a number two.
Her: (bursts out laughing) OK, ok. (wipes eyes) OK, you can put that in the blog.

Location: my desk, shooting a short as an experiment
Mood: busy!
Music: This life would just be so easy (Spotify)
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Going back to baseline

Nuthin

Him: 53! You’re another year closer to death.
Me: I’m another year closer to baseline.
Him: What does that mean?
Me: (shrugging) I’ve been dead a lot longer than I’ve ever been alive. Once I’m dead, things will go back to normal.

98% of the universe is hydrogen (74%) and helium (24%); the remaining 2% is the stuff we care about and most of that is nuthin.

In fact, most of the universe is just that: Nuthin.

No light, no heat, no life.

Just..nuthin.

But on top of all the current nuthin, everything before us and after us was and will be…nuthin.

Life itself and everything we know is an anomaly.

If all of time was the following, then the entirety of all life from the Big Bang onwards – planets, stars, galaxies, people, dinosaurs, hot blondes from the south, everything that ever existed and will exist – would be a single atomic particle somewhere inside another atom, inside that green cross below.

…++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…

And all those white crosses before and after that atomic particle would stretch out into infinity and just be fulla…nuthin.

Mark Twain once said, “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

That’s probably the truest thing the fella ever said.

And, after these short 53 years, I’m not so much afraid of dying as I’m a little weary of life itself.

Don’t get me wrong, I AM afraid of dying, and I definitely WANT to stick around for as long as possible I’m able to enjoy it, but I’m also old enough to feel, well, tired.

But the kid’s not ready yet and I’ve gotta do everything I can to stick around until he’s ready to face the world alone.

Alison once said that the moment you become a parent is the moment you start worrying and never stop. She was right.

In any case, I look at people that spend their lives watching Netflix and gorging themselves on junk and wonder if they truly appreciate the astronomical odds that gave them life in a universe filled with nuthin.

Like, you’re actually sentient and have free will and what you choose to do with it is buy MAGA hats and believe nonsense.

It seems insane to me.

We’re so unbelievably lucky to even exist – we are in such an infinitesimally small minority that, if I think about it too much, I feel my own madness begin – and yet so many people, myself included, squander it.

I suppose that’s why most people seem insane to me.

Because this – existence itself – is the outlier.

Since the beginning of time, most of everything was nuthin.

And someday, it’ll all be nuthin again and never stop being nuthin.

And that’s when it occurred to me that perhaps everyone else is sane and I’m the insane one.

Not that it would surprise me.

Him: So how are you gonna celebrate?
Me: Gonna have some rum, make out with the wife, go to bed with a good book. The kid’s gonna let me sleep in.
Him: (laughing) Living the dream, man.
Me: (nodding) Living is the dream, man. Few people get the chance.

Location: here in space and time, if only for a moment
Mood: philosophical
Music: each one and the next one to arrive; the argument for consciousness (Spotify)
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All classic pizza comes from Lombardi’s

…and his assistants

Years ago, *early* in my club days when I was just getting into the biz, I met this mafioso.

Now, in NYC, you meet a ton of Italians who say they’re connected, just like every single army guy you meet was an Army Ranger or Green Beret so take that with a grain of salt BUT I recall that he really did seem the part.

Anywho, we got to chatting we started talking about pizza. I had my local pizza joint, John’s in Times Square, which is where I lived before I moved to the Upper Best Side.

Him: You know alla the best pizza in NYC comes from Lombardi’s downtown, yeah?
Me: Howso?
Him: See, years ago, Lombardi had four assistants – Totonno Pero, John Sasso, Patsy Lancieri, Patsy Grimaldi – and alla them left Lombardi and opened their own joints. Outta respect for Lombardi, Totonno opened in Coney Island, John’s opened in midtown, Patsy’s opened in Harlem, and Grimaldi opened in Brooklyn.
Me: No kidding?
Him: Yeah, no kidding.

Well, it turns out that alla that was mostly true – the Grimaldi part is the part that’s the most incorrect, at least according to this article.

Honestly, this means that alla what we generally consider to be pizza in the US – not stuff like that casserole people call deep-dish pizza – comes from Lombardi’s.

In any case, I thought of all of this because of the kid and Alison.

See, after the kid’s talent show, because his grandmother, Alison’s mom, was in town, I wanted to bring them both to Patsy’s, which is just a few blocks south of my pad – Patsy’s being one of the five original pizza joints in America if you also count the original, Lombardi’s.

The last time I was there was with Alison, my brother, and some friends, on October 26th, 2013 – I wrote about it here.

Anywho, I heard that it was gonna close soon so I wanted them to try it before it closed but…

Me: Wait, is it closed?
Sara: Looks that way. (checks phone) It closed in January!
Me: What!?! Google said it was still open!

It was not.

Because of all the carbs, I don’t really eat all that much pizza but now I regret not going when I had the chance.

In any case, that’s why we went to the other joint – where we did NOT have pizza.

BUT we actually got a second bite at that same apple, purely by chance.

See, we were supposed to see my SIL, Alison’s sister, for the boys to go swimming this past weekend.

And she just happens to have a Grimaldi in Hoboken so that’s exactly what we had.

To wit, while we didn’t get to have Patsy’s, we still got to have some killer OG NYC-style pizza…in New Jersey.

We can just keep that last part to just the two of us, ok?

Oh, extra credit: If you head to Naples and order pizza from one of their oldest and most respected pizza joints, you’d be ordering from this family’s restaurant:

The Lombardi’s, which opened in 1892.

Here’s famous eater Mark Weins finding out that US pizza comes from Lombardi’s in Naples.

Location: my local supermarket, wondering if four pounds of corned beef is enough
Mood: dog-tired
Music: Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho! (Spotify)
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Gay Freddie from Steuben

What he’s wrought

This gay fella named Fred created the US Armed Forces that we know today.

Lemme back up a bit.

Baron Friedrich Wilhelm August Heinrich Ferdinand Freiherr von Steuben – let’s just call him “Freddie,” for obvs reasons – arrived in Portsmouth, New Hampshire on December 1, 1777, with:

    • is young aide-de-camp, Louis de Pontière
    • his military secretary, Pierre-Étienne du Ponceau
    • two other dudes, and
    • his doggie, Azor – an Italian Greyhound, which he, reportedly, took with him everywhere.
Baron von Steuben Drilling Troops at Valley Forge, by E. A. Abbey (c. 1904), Pennsylvania State Capitol, Harrisburg

When he arrived, there was no real American “army.” This fact is reflected in our own Constitution which talks about a “well regulated Militia.”

Yes, the Continental “Army” existed but in name only – it was really a buncha militias tossed together.

Enter Von Steuben.

According to Wikipedia:

He arrived at Valley Forge on February 23, 1778, and reported for duty as a volunteer. One soldier’s first impression of the Baron was “of the ancient fabled God of War … he seemed to me a perfect personification of Mars. The trappings of his horse, the enormous holsters of his pistols, his large size, and his strikingly martial aspect, all seemed to favor the idea. He turned the volunteers into a great army.”

How?

Basic stuff.

From establishing “standards of sanitation and camp layouts that would still be standard a century and a half later” to enforcing “the keeping of exact records and strict inspections,” to prevent graft and profiteering.

He also set up a training program to train soldiers on HOW to be soldiers.

To be clear: The historical bad-assery of the US Army would not have existed but for Baron Von Steuben.

Note that it was a pretty open secret that he was as gay as a unicorn in a glitter factory during Pride Week.

That’s probably why he was slumming it with the colonists instead of fighting battles and having afternoon tea back in Prussia.

Plus, he never married but had several young male “friends,” that kept him company throughout the years; in fact he settled in Manhattan with a fella named William North for a while.

So, yeah, as gay as a rainbow wearing another rainbow.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

In any case, wonder if Freddie would be proud or ashamed of what he’s wrought.

What’s the point of this entry?

It seems to me that it’s always the people draft-dodging, fat fucks with bone spurs that have only ever experienced violence from the safety of a movie seat or a living room couch that have strong preconceived notions as to what constitutes actual strength or violence capacity.

In fact, violence and the ability to inflict violence really only comes down to two things: How good are you at violence and the ability to inflict violence.

Everything else – if someone is gay or straight, likes to wear slacks or a dress, is black or white, is male or female – is really just mental masturbation.

Those things are really only important to someone that cares about something besides violence itself.

Speaking of violence itself, anyone that’s experienced either the giving or receiving of it, it’s not something you take lightly or without a clear plan for finishing.

In Scenic Fights, we’re always talking about finishing the fight.

Because, in the end, that’s really the main thing, isn’t it?

Good thing no one is quite so stupid as to embark on something so dangerous on a global scale without these things clearly at the forefront.

Location: home, reading the new
Mood: incredulous
Music: you talk about death and everything in between like it’s nothing (Spotify)
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Be different: Listen to new music

Avoiding Stasis

Friend: Honestly, music stopped being good after 2010.
Me: I dunno about that.
Her: There’s literally nothing I can stand on the radio anymore.

In 2015, Spotify looked at its user data and found that people stop listening to new music after the age of 33.

At least in the US.

See, in the UK, where they use something called Deezer, that company discovered that Britons stop listening to new music at 30…and a half.

What adult uses “and a half?”

In any case, my point being that, in nature, there are only three states: Growth, stasis, and decline.

Me?

I keep wanting to put as much (natural) space between me and decline as possible and that means avoiding stasis wherever and whenever possible.

That doesn’t just mean seeing old friends, working out, eating well, and doing some deep thinking.

It also means listening to new music, because, if I don’t, I’m at least in stasis, if not decline.

And I can’t have that.

Not when the kid’s this young.

Music is a unique art form because, unlike, say, a sculpture, which is carved, and then just exists, music is created and has to be played or performed.

But, as you hear it, it can be remembered, heard, and anticipated – you can guess a lyric or beat because music requires a rhythm of some sort – so that it exists in the entirety of time itself, past, present, and future all at once.

Music is profoundly human is because it’s the only artform that only exists entirely in time and disappears once it’s done as if it never existed at all.

Kinda like us.

So, with all due respect to my friend, listen to new music, and fight the stasis.

Him: You’ll come to my talent show? I’m playing XXXX.
Me: I love that song! And of course – have I missed one yet?
Him: No…
Me: Then I wouldn’t worry too much, kiddo.

For the past few years, I’ve put all the music from this blog into this Spotify playlist here, if you want some new tracks on the regular.

Or just keep reading and click on the music links below (I get a few cents if you end up buying the song on Amazon, just fyi).

Location: the bathroom, installing a bidet
Mood: bidet-ed
Music: they say you know when you know (Spotify)
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66 days of nuttiness

All about focus and dedication

Me: Hola! Thanks so much for inviting us, as always. We had a grand time and the kids – especially Sara’s kid, since it was his first time – loved the red envelope portion, LOL.
Annabel: Thanks Logan! It was great seeing you all again. Will never forget [Sara’s son] rejecting a second red envelope!

Went over to Annabel and John’s the other day to celebrate Lunar New Year – also saw my mom and A-MIL but that’s gonna be a post for another time.

We weren’t able to see Annabel last year for new year’s, so it was nice that we went this year, plus it was the first time that Sara’s son went there.

Me: You two should go learn how to make dumplings.
Son: But, I know how to make them!
Me: Then you should be a pro at it. Off to it.

Honestly, they did a pretty good job.

We had a pretty late lunch – where I had THREE large burgers – so we weren’t planning on eating much but the food was so good, I definitely ate a lot more than I intended to.

Sara: I swear you have a wooden leg.
Me: It’s all about focus and dedication, baby.

But everyone had fun and, at the end, the adults all handed out red envelopes to the kids.

Sara’s kid had only gotten red envelopes once before from me and only one envelope, so I think he thought he was only supposed to get one – bless that kid’s heart.

So, he politely declined a second one from Annabel, which they found hilarious.

As did we.

Him: How?
Me: How what?
Him: How do you eat peanut butter and lose weight?

It never occurred to me that I never told you how I eat peanut butter.

Essentially, whenever I have a sweet – most often some sorta homemade baked good by Sara, like a low-carb chocolate chip oatmeal cookie – I will pair that with a cup of coffee with MCT oil (for additional fat), and at least 3-4 HEAPING tablespoons of peanut butter.

I’m usually so full from that that it’s my typical brekkie.

For lunch, it’s either a can of sardines/salmon with some kimchi, some of Sara’s homemade whole wheat sourdough bread with peanut butter or cream cheese, and a cup of matcha, or a repeat of brekkie with peanut butter or 1/3 of a cup of cashews.

Then dinner…well, dinner is when I eat anything and everything, although with lots of veggies.

If I have a huge lunch, then I usually just have peanut butter and something for dinner.

Now, if you want a super easy way to do it as a delicious add-on to whatever you’re doing, try this at least 10 minutes before every meal, but no more than 30:

    • A full glass of water between 8-12 ounces
    • 1-2 heaping tablespoons of peanut/walnut/nut butter

Just doing that should cut your weight substantially for a number of reasons:

    • You’re adding protein, fat, and fiber to your system before your main meal, which will definitely curb your appetite.
    • You’re also literally taking up room in your stomach with the volume of the water and the peanut butter.
    • The sugar sensation of the chocolate/honey also satisfies cravings.
    • As the video I posted in my last entry noted, peanuts/peanut butter takes a lot of energy to digest in general, further taxing your body, in a good way.

It takes about 66 days for something to become a habit, according to a study from The University College London so if you try to do it, do it for at least two months.

Anywho, give it a whirl; I’ve literally never read about this anywhere else ever, but I know that it works because…well, science.

Plus, it’s dirt cheap and if it doesn’t work for you, just stop.

But, yeah, it works.

Location: Chinatown, listening to fireworks and having carbs
Mood: stuffed
Music: I’m on my knees looking for recipes (Spotify)
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Eat more peanut butter, man

Goodbye, Dawson

I was looking at that picture of me back in my early 30s in the last post.

While it’s clear that I’ve aged between then and now, I don’t think that I look like I’ve aged 20 years.

Still, while my face looks older, my body looks…pretty identical.

If anything, I look better now than I did at 25 just because I’ve been so regular with my physical therapy these days.

But exercise is just one of the three sides of the triangle – the other two are genetics and diet.

On genetics, there’s not much you can do there, but I’ve been thinking about diet more than usual lately because of the death of actor James Van Der Beek, who recently passed from stage 3 colorectal cancer.

While I never saw Dawson’s Creek, Alison and I loved Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23, where he played a version of himself.

If you’ve never seen it, it might be worth a watch.

In any case, on the topic of diet, I’m definitely eating well over a pound of peanut butter a week now.

I know this because I started doing Amazon’s Subscribe and Save with two two-pound jars delivered to me every month, about a year ago, but the kid and I kill them in the first three weeks.

Sara and her son don’t touch the stuff, despite my best efforts, which is terribly disappointing as you’ll read below.

In any case, I regularly have to go to the store to buy two more regular jars to last us the month – check out the size difference below.

Now, that means that I’m eating about 2,650 calories, 225 grams of fat, and 28 grams of fiber a week in peanut butter alone every week

BUT that’s in addition to the regular brekkie, lunch, and dinner that I eat.

And yet, I am slimmer than almost all of my peers, which is precisely what I expected when I first started doing this about 20 years ago.

In fact, I remember distinctly a conversation with someone that rang me outta the blue one day that went something like this:

Her: There is no way you can eat that much peanut butter and not become super fat.
Me: I dunno. I don’t think that the body processes protein, fat, and fiber the same way it does just fat and carbs.
Her: What will you do if you’re wrong?!
Me: (laughing) I dunno…stop?

But I never did.

Because it turned out exactly as I expected it to – I ended up losing weight, increasing lean body mass, and reducing my cholesterol.

Since 2006, I’ve been telling everyone that would listen that nut butters are secret to being slim and in excellent health and I used myself as a test subject for 20 years.

I eat peanut butter because it’s just a lot cheaper than nut butters (yes, I realize it’s a legume).

But, if I was wealthy, I’d be eating walnut butter, probably the best thing on the planet to eat after tinned fish, which I also try to eat regularly.

If anyone wants to gift me an annual stipend of walnut butter, I’m not gonna stop you.

Dunno what gift to get me? Walnut butter.

In any case, I bring this up because I came across this guy below recently, and he backs up the mountain of research that peanuts are a health bomb.

Now, while he talks mainly about whole raw peanuts, I believe – and I’ve got 20 years of real-world practice that supports this – that natural peanut butter essentially provides very similar/identical results.

 

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A post shared by Jimmy Maio (@notjimmymaio)

If you look up pretty much anything to do with colorectal cancer, you’ll see two things show up in every mention: (a) the lack of fiber in modern diets and (b) the ultra-processed nature of the modern American diet.

The regular consumption of nut/peanut butter helps address both those issues; the former directly by injecting fiber into your diet, the latter by simply making you too full to eat much else.

Anywho, just another of my rando thoughts for a rando day.

Him: Whatcha making, papa?
Me: A brown-butter fried peanut butter and banana sandwich.
Him: Is that any good?
Me: Is it any good!?!?! Dude…prepare to have your mind blown…

Location: a dumpling party with zero peanut butter
Mood: stuffed
Music: We have fallen down again tonight (Spotify)

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Have you ever heard of Meghan Reinertsen?

My most valuable thing

Met up with the pastor early this past week for some coffee and…

Me: Wait, they have a $5 burger here!
Him: Yeah, it’s pretty good. Do you want to get one?
Me: Do I want a $5 burger?! Heck yeah! (afterwards) Are you thinking of getting another one?
Him: I will if you will.
Me: Looks like we’re having more burgers for brekkie!

Have you ever heard of Meghan Reinertsen?

She’s a nanny and an influencer but what really made her famous is the fact that she personally cancelled a United Airlines flight by having…explosive diarrhea.

And, to be clear, I’m not mocking her – at all – here.

After all, I know exactly how embarrassing and uncomfortable it is to have your body involuntarily leave your DNA everywhere and anywhere, through no real fault of your own.

Meghan’s story is that she, evidently, ate this undercooked cheeseburger and then had to lock herself into the airplane bathroom for 90 humiliating minutes where her DNA came out of both ends.

It was so bad that the plane was declared a biohazard and taken outta service for the next flight.

Since this was all pretty public, there wasn’t much to do but make a public apology video, which she did.

@meghanreinertsen Part 1 of how I personally got a United flight cancelled #storytime #airplane #diarrhea @United Airlines ♬ original sound – Meghan Reinertsen

But this entry isn’t about Meghan so much as it’s about my kid and alla his friends.

See, you and I met when I was 33 years old.

I was already a full-fledged(ish) adult when you read my very first entry back in September of 2006 some – Jesus Christ – two decades ago.

Back then, I was literally the only weirdo that carried around a camera with me at almost all times.

Plus, I wrote down what funny or memorable conversations I could remember.

This was not the burger that she had but it was the burger that I had with the pastor. Now I want another one…

But now, everyone has a camera and recording device on their person at all times.

And I can’t help but think of all the incredibly stupid, stupid, and cruel things I’ve done and said throughout my life – to say nuthin of all my embarrassing moments.

Dude, you may not believe it, but the version of me you met in 2006 was the mature version of me.

Logan Lo circa 2026?

I’m a goddamn piece of fine art by now.

Ok, maybe not fine, but just go with it for now…

Me in Berlin in 2006. I was 32.

My only saving grace is that no one had video phones/cameras on their person in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s.

You absolutely would not be reading me. You’d be saying things like:

    • Logan? You mean the guy that wore rollerblades and fell down the entire staircase leading to Bethesda Fountain?
    • Logan? You mean the guy that wore parachute pants with the flock of seagulls haircut?
    • Logan? To mean the guy that practiced taiji for a decade and tried to fight with it?

My point being that, but for my telling you any of this, none of this would exist except in my own head.

But for the kid and his friends everything has the potentially to be recorded and preserved forever.

Everything has the potential to be just devastating – emotionally and socially.

I can laugh about alla that now because I’m 52 and honestly don’t care about much these days but, man, did I care when I was a kid.

And I hope that the kid realizes that nothing embarrassing is anything but a story to be told years from now.

So, here’s to the Meghans of the world that just say, Fuck it, and own their most embarrassing moments.

Because, today, there’s not much else you can do.

Him: Papa, why don’t you ever show my face?
Me: Oh no, kid. I’m so proud of you. It’s not that, it’s the opposite. You’re my treasure. And you don’t go showing off your treasure. You keep your most valuable things private.
Him: I’m your valuable thing?
Me: No, kid, you’re my most valuable thing. I got nuthin close to you.
Him: Yay!

Location: home, at a balmy 42 degrees
Mood: concerned
Music: Neighbors stare, I smile and wave ’cause I just don’t care (Spotify)

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