Did you know that you have scoliosis?
Do you have any place or time that fills you with dread thinking about it?
For me, it’s 5 Columbus Circle here in Manhattan.
Always walked in with a fully developed sense of reality, only to leave disabused of that reality when I realize that what I think is true, isn’t true at all.
My first – positive, actually – example of this was way back in 2008, when I finally found out after months of waiting that I didn’t have testicular cancer.
Remember walking into that appointment fulla dread, and leaving feeling so light and relieved.
Then came alla the darkness there.
The first was in 2011, where Alison lost the first of six pregnancies.
Each one was awful for me, and soul-crushing for her – two were ectopic that required surgery.
It was not the last with her as she was there several more times.
Then, in 2012, I was told that I probably had a torn ACL there, which was confirmed.
I spent the next two years rehabing it (the picture in that entry is directly outside the building).
Then, in 2014, had another kinda spot of good-ish news when went in and was told that I needed to get a colonoscopy there but that turned out ok as well.
Between 2015 and 2017, Alison went there a number of times for tests and such for her cancer.
None of those experiences were good nor happy.
I hated even being near the place.
Two years ago, I walked in and was told that (a) I had massive bone spurs in my hand, and (b) I’d broken no less than seven of my ten fingers in my life.
And then earlier this week, I walked in after three months of trying to get x-rays and/or an MRI on my back and I was floored.
Like always, I was given a complete shock that shook my sense of self.
Her: OK, well you definitely don’t have cancer.
Me: (breathing in deeply) OK, that’s good but it sounds like there’s a “but” about to happen…
Her: (purses lips and nods slightly) Yes, well…did you know that you have scoliosis?
Me: What?! No, wait, I don’t have scoliosis.
Her: I’m afraid you do. Here, let me show you…
And she whipped out the x-rays you see above.
You can see the curve in my spine.
Evidently, I’ve had that my whole life.
BUT, because I’ve been working out my whole life, I never really noticed it – until recently, that is.
Me: Is that why I’m in so much pain? Like a few months ago, I could barely walk down the street when it rained.
Her: Partially. You have a lot of arthritis in your back as well, and you can see in the slide on the right where your disc slipped.
Me: Is there anything that can be done?
Her: Just PT, I’m afraid. The (main doctor) will get you a script for a much higher dose of celebrex than you’re on right now. (later) You have a lot of injuries.
Me: (shrugging) Just clumsy, I guess.
Like I said, I walked in with one sense of what my reality was and left wholly with another one.
At least I don’t have cancer.
That’s always a win, despite all the other discouraging news.
Location: home all day, nursing my back
Mood: blargh
Music: read the signs from your head to your toes (Spotify)
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