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Travelogue: Bermuda 2024 Pt 4 – Home again

All good things

The last few days, we just lounged around, and I caught up on alla the eating I missed out on in the first few days.

And then some.

Even ended up having some peanut butter, which I’d not had for five days, probably the longest I’d gone without peanut butter in over a decade.

Waiter: Just peanut butter?
Me: Yup.
Waiter: (brings over a small tablespoon) Here you go.
Me: Thanks! Oh…we’re gonna need a lot more than that.

There was some unpleasantness with the kid, who was probably cranky from lack of sleep – he loved everything about the trip and just refused to nap and also got argumentative at night.

But he still had a grand time and ended up making a buncha friends there.

And I kept catching up on eating.

Although I did also get to see more and more of the ship, since I wasn’t able to see it the first three days or so.

Here’s a cool video I shot from the exterior elevator.

Plus, Firecracker and I also got to sneak in (a tiny bit of) time to ourselves.

Then the next day we were home.

Him: I don’t wanna go.
Me: All good things – and bad things – have to come to an end, kiddo. And here we are.

Saw my brother, who was in town, later on that day but that’s a completely different story.

Me: Whoa, I lost close to six pounds on the trip! That’s shocking because of alla the carbs I had the first few days and that I didn’t work out at all.
Her: (laughing) It’s not that shocking considering how many times you went the first few days.
Me: Yes but…six pounds!

Oh, and it turns out I did shoot the birds on our balcony after all.

Location: my old gym, shooting some more Scenic Fights videos
Mood: un-rested
Music: Once bitten, twice shy, don’t leave me high and dry (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Bermuda 2024 Pt 3 – Looks like I’m back

So, it would seem

Since we were only in Bermuda for a total of six hours, we had a lot more time to tour the ship some more.

I got to check out alla the places I didn’t get to go to the first few days because I was so sick.

A lotta of the things I probably woulda done had I not gotten sick but after that, I really just wanted to lounge around and rest.

Afterwards, the Firecracker enrolled us all in a contest where we go against the officers in trivia – it was called, “Are you smarter than a ship’s officer?”

Turns out, we were.

Won a bottle of champagne to boot!

Later on, we caught a comedy show, which was pretty impressive because (a) it was clean enough to bring the kids and (b) he spent the whole time – hilariously – riffing on the audience.

It was quite impressive.

Most modern cruises have waterslides, if not mini waterparks; well, the MSC Meraviglia had a waterpark that the kids just loved.

I’d been feeling better so I ended up joining them for some of it.

Later on that night was their “white night,” so we dressed in white to support.

Whereas before, I ate essentially what one might consider “normally” – which is I would eat three meals, with an appetizer, main dish, and maybe a dessert.

However, because I was (finally) feeling back to my old self…

…I ate a lot more than that.

A LOT more.

Her: It looks like you’re back.
Me: So, it would seem. (reaching over) Are you gonna eat that?

Later on that night, a MASSIVE flock of sparrows crowded on our balcony.

I turned on the lights in my cabin to get a better view and two immediately slammed into the glass wall and hurt themselves (they later flew off) so I shut off the lights.

Was too beat to take a pic so you’ll have to trust me on that.

Didn’t open my door, though, even though I wanted to.

If I did, I’m sure this woulda happened:

Location: the kid’s jits class, nursing a sore back
Mood: tired
Music: bring back the water, let your ships roll in (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Bermuda 2024 Pt 2 – Dressing up, Teppanyaki, BRATTY, and the Beach

In Bermuda and my head

Finally emerged on day three still feeling pretty off but less like death warmed over so I ventured out with everyone to brekkie.

Him: Wow.
Me: What?
Him: I’ve never seen you eat so little before. And you never eat this much bread.
Me: Mommy told me that, when your stomach hurts, you have to eat BRATTY foods, which are Bread, Rice, Applesauce, Tea, Toast, and Yoghurt.

And that, my non-nauseated friends, is a list of alla the foods I’d been eating up to that point.

It’s good that I was feeling better because the Firecracker booked us all a table at teppanyaki for dinner, so we went to that.

The chef we got was a nice guy, and the food was delicious, but he was obviously still in training because he messed up the egg tricks three times.

Still, it was good, and the kids were entertained.

And I, for one, was certainly happy to have something other than bread and carbs.

Afterward, the Firecracker and I separated to do our own things.

Now, a guy was supposed to play the Rolling Stones at a bar that the Firecracker and I hit up earlier.

I didn’t have any tequila, mezcal, or anything beyond soda water so my bar experience was pretty different than it usually is.

The kid was super excited to have a small, private concert.

Unfortunately, the guy never showed.

Me: It happens. (shrugging) Whaddyagonna do?
Him: (nodding, shrugging) Yeah, whaddyagonna do?

But there was another band that was playing the Beatles, so we went to that.

The Firecracker was able to join us, so that part was pretty nice.

We also got to dress up all snazzy, like.

The next day, we arrived in Bermuda, but – like I said – there was that new hurricane developing so we were told that we only had from 9AM to 4:45PM to be in Bermuda.

So, we made the most of it and headed to Horseshoe Beach for the pink beaches.

Because the Firecracker and I had been to Bermuda (many times) before, we just hopped the bus to get there.

The last time I’d been on the bus was a decade earlier with Alison.

The last time I was in Bermuda, I was so irritated because I just wanted to remember her, but the idiot driving wouldn’t stop prattling on about nonsense.

It still makes me mad thinking about it.

This time, though, I sat with Alison’s son in the back while the Firecracker sat in another row with her son. So, I finally had my time with my thoughts and our son.

Me: Mommy and I once walked this exact route.
Him: Really?! This far!?
Me: It wasn’t my smartest idea, but mommy was nice enough to support me.

I won’t bring up Alison again in this because it fucks with my head.

In any case, after a spell, we finally arrived at the beach. The boy was underwhelmed but enjoyed being in the water.

Me? I was in and out of my head a lot for a bit.

But I did get to show the kids where I liked to go on the beach – years ago, I saw a tree growing outta rock there and found it again.

It was doing well and, somehow, that made me feel better.

We didn’t get too much time there but that’s fine.

I was just happy to be able to sit and read for a few minutes. And be in my head for a bit.

We made it back to the ship with hours to spare and stopped by the dockyard for a bit before the kid and chilled out on our balcony and had lunch together.

It was a good day, all things considered.

Location: back in the hood
Mood: less gross
Music: Suffer in the morning, but that taste is all I wanted, me and tequila (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Bermuda 2024 Pt 1 – The Grossness

Mezcal is not my friend either

Since both the Firecracker and I like cruising, we were keeping our eyes out for any last-minute trips that worked with our schedule since we didn’t get a chance to bring the kids anywhere over the summer.

Well, we came across the MSC Meraviglia, which left just from Brooklyn.

Interestingly, it was the very same ship we saw when we were on Governors Island, last.

Unfortunately, all the mezcal from the previous night hit me HARD the next morning.

It turns out that mezcal affects me even worse than tequila and I woke up feeling like death.

And that’s when I started my hourly trips to the bathroom.

Imagine your worst trip to the tiniest room times 16.

And then place at least half of those trips took place in very questionable public bathrooms.

Literally, every hour, on the hour, I had to scramble – heavy with luggage and feeling as weak as water in the rain – to find a bathroom and do my (very gross) duty.

Her: Listen, you gotta rally. They’re not gonna let you on the ship if you look like you’re sick and they won’t believe it’s alcohol poisoning.
Me: I’m not unaware. (pause) Annnnnd, I gotta go again.

Somehow, we made it onto the ferry where I tried my level best not to leave my DNA.

I was resolutely unsuccessful, although I did manage to leave it in the proper area within the bathroom.

The boy, however, was completely unfazed and still pretty excited for his second cruise.

Managed to put on a stoic face long enough to make it onto the ship where I entered my room, despite being told it wouldn’t be ready for another three hours.

Attendant: I’m sorry sir, your room isn’t ready yet.
Me: Is it possible for you to just clean around me? I just want to nap on the couch.
Him: OK, sir.

I was hoping he wasn’t gonna narc and he didn’t.

The Firecracker took care of both kids the first two days as I just stayed in the bed and went to the bathroom.

Again, every hour, on the hour for 48 hours.

She did manage to enjoy herself without me, which I found shocking.

I literally ate nuthin but bread and water those first 48 hours.

Boy: I’ve never seen you eat this many carbs.
Me: (eating another roll) This is how papa’s gonna be for a while.

This is pretty much all I ate for the first two days. It was carbtastic!

Well, I did try to have some French onion soup.

That was ill-advised.

Now, I thought that I did a pretty good job hiding how rotten I felt.

Me: (weakly but proudly) I don’t think anyone could tell.
Her: (laughing) Are you kidding me? The waiter immediately asked, once you left, “Is your husband feeling ok?”
Me: And there I thought I was doing some Oscar quality work. (shaking head) I’m a terrible liar.

The next night, I felt ok enough to hit up a show…

…or two…

…but it was a struggle.

I’ll write more tomorrow but not mention the unpleasantness.

Until then, enjoy the Firecracker almost killing the second performer; prior to this, the kid was the star of the show – the emcee selected him to talk about his trip to the ship and, man, did he have a lot to say – but I didn’t record it because I was laughing so much.

Shame really…

I’ll end with a sunny shot of the Firecracker.

Still felt like death while taking it.

Location: back in the hood
Mood: less gross
Music: Sick of rainy weather but I know we’ll be fine (Spotify)
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A train adventure

The end of Summer 2024

The kid started school the other day so, as a last hurrah – and because both my kid and the Firecracker’s kid love trains – we went on a train adventure the other day.

NJ Transit has been having alla these issues lately so, as a mea culpa, they offered free train rides all week last week.

Now, my kid was already at my in-laws so, bright and early one day, I went to get him.

But not before fueling up with some empty carbs.

Carbed-up, we hopped the train…

…transferred to another train, and then got off at Journal Square.

It was super cute, when he saw the Firecracker, he like RAN to give her a hug.

They both played at the playground for a bit…

…before we went in search of food.

We found this cool little joint called White Star and ordered a ton of food and drink.

We continued our train adventures by hopping the light rail to see my SIL.

Her: Can you help me bring a rug to my basement?
Me: Sure!

It was a HUGE rug so I should really ask details before I agree to stuff.

Afterwards, she gave us a lift to the local pier…

…where the kids had more fun.

And then we walked through Hoboken…

…to get to Benny Tudino’s for one of their obnoxiously huge slices of pizza.

It was actually his second time there – I told you about the first time we went back in 2021.

Bellies full, and fully exhausted, we headed back home.

All-in-all, it was a good way to end out the summer.

Him: I’m a little worried about school.
Me: You’re always a little worried about school. That’s normal. But, every year, it turns out ok, right?
Him: I guess so.
Me: You’ll be fine. You gotta trust me here.

Location: under my kitchen sink, looking at a huge puddle of water
Mood: @#$@#$@ exhausted
Music: I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again (Spotify)
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Two libraries and a biergarten

A tired brain and heart

Her: This is the last weekend that both kids are away before school starts. Do you wanna do something?
Me: I already planned something out.

I generally drink on May 24th and August 24th.

It just helps the day go by.

The Firecracker wanted to keep me company but also wanted to enjoy the beautiful day, so I brought her down to the roofdeck of the Stavros Niarchos Foundation Library.

If you’ve never been, you should stop by – it’s part of the NYC Public Library System and free.

So, bright and early on Saturday morning, we went there.

There was almost no one around when we got there.

It was gorgeous – both the place and the weather.

But, unfortunately, we could only stay for a little over an hour because there was so much construction going on around there.

This is what it used to look like, ages ago.

We were planning to walk down to Koreatown to get some Korean fried chix, but we didn’t make it too far because we took a detour at West 37th Street to check out Reichenbach Hall, a beer garden.

We got a liter of hard cider to split between the two of us…

…and ordered some brats and a schnitzel.

It was perfect.

Afterward, we went back to the main library on West 42nd.

Me: When I was studying for the bar, I came here a few days and just spend the day studying here. Feels like a million years ago.
Her: It’s gorgeous here!

I sat, roughly, where I sat some 28 years ago when I studied to pass the LSAT.

Afterward, we decided to try and walk home, which was good because we ran smack dab into a street fair.

Unfortunately, one of the pigeons took a liking to the Firecracker.

Her: I think it pooped on me.
Me: Sorry, baby. (brightening) Wait, we should buy a lottery ticket!

So, we walked over to Columbus Circle, where she got cleaned up, and then we took the train home.

Another year and another May 24th to August 24th, done.

I think it’ll always be hard, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I’ll tell you why sometime but not today.

My brain and heart are tired.

Location: videochatting with the Professor, refusing to believe we’re in our 50s
Mood: better, thanks
Music: you and I will be alright (Spotify)
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Tigers with different stripes, Pt 2

The best five days of my life

The other thing about my dad/family was something else that I also learned in Cornell: When I took my first Chinese language class, the teacher asked how to say “maternal grandmother” in Chinese.

I confidently said, “阿婆 (ā pó)” but was corrected, it was “外婆 (wàipó).”

I’d never heard of 外婆 (wàipó) before, we never used that term nor had I ever heard it before.

Me: I was so embarrassed that I got that wrong. Why didn’t we use the right way of saying it for [mom’s mom]?
Father: Do you know what 外婆 means? It means “outside grandmother.” That’s what you call the wife’s mother because, in Chinese culture, the mother’s family and side doesn’t count – they’re outsiders and not really part of the family. That’s wrong, I think, and offensive. Your mom’s family is as much a part of our family as mine is.

For all my dad’s traditions and pressure, he was a decent and fair man and that story perfectly encapsulates him.

It was a simple but profound thing, which makes sense as he was both a simple and profound man.

And I think that a major reason the three of us – my sister, brother, and myself – have been so successful in life.

Moreso than the education and the accolates.

Because I suppose we always knew that, no matter what, our parents loved us and always would.

That’s a powerful comfort in an uncomfortable world and something that I hope I give my own kid.

Yeah, if there’s one thing that I’d like to pass on from my dad to my own kid, it’s that.

My dad died August 24th, 2017, seven years ago this week.

I love him every bit right now as I did seven years ago and always will.

Even though, at times, I wonder if he knew.

Me: (angrily) Yeah, well, you wait. My kid is gonna be successful and happy. It won’t matter to me if he goes to an ivy league or not.
Him: You’re threatening me with a happy and successful grandkid? (laughing) Go ahead. Because that’s exactly what I want too. When you’re a dad yourself, you’ll understand. I’m trying to keep you all safe.

And, of course, I totally care if he makes it into an ivy league or not.

Just maybe – maybe – not quite as much.

Did you know that no two tigers have the same stripes?

A tiger’s pattern is as unique as human fingerprints AND not only is a tiger’s fur striped, but its skin is also striped as well.

It has hidden beauties you wouldn’t know about while it was alive.

This also means that every tiger is different from every other tiger, despite all outward appearances.

My dad may have been Chinese, but he was so different in many ways and uniquely mine.

I wish he was still here.

But I suppose you already knew that.

The picture above is the day my parents met my son.

It’s one of only a handful of pictures I have with all three of them.

The main picture is another of the few – precious – images I have of my father with my son.

I have none with him, Alison, and my son. Zero fucking pictures.

Not a single goddamn one.

And everything went to shit after that picture.

But, for a moment in time, that was the happiest I ever was because my entire family was alive and happy for five days.

I didn’t yet know that would be all I would ever get. Ever.

Those were the best five days of my life.

What a shitty truth it is that the lucky never realize they are lucky until it’s too late. 

Location: yesterday and today, bars. Drinking it all away.
Mood: cautious
Music: I’ve got memories and travel like gypsies in the night (Spotify)
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A BBQ on Governors Island

Nice people

Him: [Even though I eat meat], sometimes, I order a black bean burger just to have it.
Me: Have you considered therapy?

My friends Ricky and Kathy put together a BBQ on Governors Island this past weekend.

I’ve enjoyed it since the first time we went with the Firecracker and her kid, so I was looking forward to going there again, especially that my college friends were going.

So, early last Sunday, we piled into the subway and then hopped on a ferry there.

We met everyone at the docks and were on the island before we knew it.

After we disembarked, the Firecracker, the kid, and I went the wrong way and ended up at the wrong place.

The kid was less than enthused.

But we managed to get to the right place in time for food.

Him: They’re not ready yet.
Me: I like my burgers rare to medium rare. I’m sure they’re good already.
Him: Fine, here…

There was so much food.

Afterward, we went for a walk where I saw a building discussing the Billion Oyster Project here in NYC – something that I’m super interested in.

Unfortunately, I got a call from the kid on one of my friends’ phone – he’d gone bike riding with some of the other kids…

…but got separated yet still managed to find his way back.

Him: (upset) I’ve never been by myself for so long before. And on a bike!
Me: Well, I hope you learned a lesson to stay with everyone and pay attention.
Him: Are you mad at me?
Me: I’m just glad you’re back safe. And I’m actually super impressed you found your back by yourself.

He seemed just fine after a spell.

The other kids definitely helped.

As did the fact that Cappy brought pie (again)

…and the Firecracker brought homemade keto chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.

Of course, I drowned my own fears into some grilled beef.

The truth is, while I am alarmed he was lost for a bit, I am impressed that he kept his wits about him and managed to find his way back.

Him: But I got lost.
Me: Yes, but you made it back to someplace safe. For that, I’m very proud of you.
Him: I was so scared.
Me: (nodding) But you’re safe now.

After a bit, we packed up and headed home.

We all said our goodbyes at the pier…

…and the Firecracker, the kid, and I took our scooters up the Hudson River Greenway home.

Him: I was super scared. (thinking) But everyone was really nice.
Me: Life is scary. It helps to have nice people around, yeah?
Him: (nodding) Yeah.

Location: a dog kennel, lifting up the kid to get a better look
Mood: heated
Music: I shout out and I didn’t miss one friend (Spotify)
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Drinking in Jersey City

There’s a joke here, somewhere

The Firecracker and I wanted to get outta New York City but we also didn’t wanna spend a ton of time traveling so we decided to just hit up Jersey City for the weekend.

So, bright and early on a Sunday, we headed out 40 minutes or so to the Grove Street PATH Station…

…and walked down their still-somewhat-new promenade.

We didn’t get far because she wanted a snack and I wanted some more iced green tea.

But we got to exploring and found, amongst other things, a combination wine store and pharmacy.

Her: This is so weird.
Me: There’s a joke here somewhere, I just can’t think of it.

In fact, we hit up a number of wine shops because I’ve been on the hunt for some mead lately.

Him: What is that?
Me: It’s kinda like wine made from honey.
Him: (laughs) Nah, we got nuthin like that.

We ended up walking into a gorgeous apartment that had an open house.

The Firecracker and I have been chatting about next steps in our relationship but that’s an entry – or three – for another time.

Her: Think of what you could cook in this thing!
Me: It’s pretty cool, I gotta say.

Afterward, we went to Barcade for a bit to read and relax a bit.

But it was super loud, and we were both getting hungry and Barcade’s kitchen was on the fritz.

So, I ordered her a slice of pizza and then we walked over to Zepplin Hall, a beergarden, to meet up with my SIL.

It was pretty empty when we got there, which suited us just fine.

We ordered some food and then my SIL came.

It was only 5PM so I figured we’d be done by 7PM.

I was very wrong.

We ended up ordering FIVE pitchers of alcohol along with several individual glasses…

…plus even more carbs…

…but we did also order a salad? So, yeah.

The ladies chatted for a bit…

…while I went out to get a bit of fresh air.

It was after 10PM by the time we stumbled outta there, we’d been there for five hours.

Shockingly, it only took us about 45 minutes to make it home.

Me: Did you have a fun night?
Her: (half-asleep) Yeah, you?
Me: I was with you and family. How could it be bad?
Her: (snores)
Me: (laughs)

Location: Governors Island, with my favourite tiny human and some of my fave normal-sized humans as well.
Mood: fatty-fat-fat
Music: She said ohh, hold on, hold on, hold on (Spotify)
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A (Food) Tour of Flushing, NY Pt 2

Dessert time

After we ate our fill, it was time for dessert and the Frenchman’s daughter was in the mood for some shave ice.

So, we walked over to a joint called Flower and Dessert and got something there.

I told the ladies that they should probably just order one single one because I knew it was gonna be HUGE but they ended up ordering two because everything looked so good.

Can’t really blame them AND I also got to have some so it was really win-win.

Still, even with the five of us, there was still a ton left from the two dishes we got.

While they were delicious, I gotta say, I was a tad disappointed that it was really just shaved ice cream and not the classic shave ice that I grew up eating while in Asia.

By this point, we were all pretty beat – after all, we’d been eating for close to three hours straight.

But the Frenchman’s wife wanted to stop by Soy Bean Chan for some sweet dessert tofu to take home.

Of course, I had to have some as well.

Shoulda taken a pic of Soy Bean Chan’s place, which is a small tofu stall and then also a florist shop. It’s essentially about 100 feet from that woman holding the tray below.

We went back to the mall where we parked the car and the ladies all went shopping while the Frenchman and I went to Gong Cha and had a lightly sweetened peach green tea.

Me: You want something?
Him: No thanks, I’m totally sugared out.
Me: Even if it’s lightly sweetened?
Him: Nope. Completely sugared out.

I get it.

I don’t usually consume anywhere close the amount of carbs I consumed that day.

After alla that, he and I went to the ridonk huge Skyfoods Asian supermarket at the mall – the ladies took over where we were at the tea shop – and I stocked up on a buncha things like fresh lychee and tofu.

Although I did skip getting any frog legs.

Afterward, we piled into the car and drove past Willets Point to head home.

Me: If you came here 10 years ago, you’d see what it was like in Queens/NYC 100 years ago, because it was the last place in the five boroughs that didn’t have paved roads or a sewer system.
Her: How come?
Me: This was all salt-of-the-earth Queens people that ran automobile shops and junkyards here. The soil was super contaminated so they didn’t bother to develop it for years.

They only started developing it in earnest in 2018.

In any case, the Frenchman was nice enough to drive us alla way back to our pad, which was totally in the opposite direction of where he needed to be.

Me: That was super cool of him – door-to-door service!
Her: Absolutely, they’re great. (pause) It’s barely 5PM but I just wanna go to bed.
Me: But…we still gotta eat dinner, though…

Location: Dive 75 with a pretty lady
Mood: more injured and annoyed
Music: We can make it if we try (Spotify)
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