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A joint birthday

A joint birthday at Pig and Khao

By the time you read this, I’ll be 52 years old.

Whoa…

Not only did the Firecracker live just a few blocks south of my pad when we first met, but she and I were also surprised that our birthdays were only a little more than a week apart.

So, this year, we decided to do a joint celebration in-between our two birthdays at Pig and Khao, just a few blocks from us.

My buddy Panda used to talk about how great the food was there, so I was looking forward to it – he’s a foodie and I trust him.

The food did not disappoint……although some dishes were pretty spicy for the Firecracker’s taste.

Me: I’m not sure you can eat this.
Her: (shrugs) Well, let’s find out. (a few seconds later, she turns red and coughs) Nope!

Luckily, the drinks were strong and cooling…

…plus, because it was our birthday celebration(s), they comped us some jello shots, which were fun.

But the star of the show was the ribeye steak we ordered, which – because it was our birthday celebration – I had with my first bowl of rice in at least a year.

Her: This coconut rice is amazing!
Me: God, yes. I can’t remember the last time I had a whole bowl of rice.
Her: Wait, your bowl’s empty, you’re eating mine. Hey!
Me: I’m just trying to save you a few carbs.

We ended the night with a dessert for her and a pickleback shot for me.

I think she may’ve enjoyed her selection more than I did mine.

Here’s hoping it’s the first of years worth of joint birthdays.

Location: the gym, trying not to get more injured
Mood: hoping
Music: don’t want nobody else (Spotify)
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5 Columbus Circle

Did you know that you have scoliosis?

Do you have any place or time that fills you with dread thinking about it?

For me, it’s 5 Columbus Circle here in Manhattan.

Always walked in with a fully developed sense of reality, only to leave disabused of that reality when I realize that what I think is true, isn’t true at all.

My first – positive, actually – example of this was way back in 2008, when I finally found out after months of waiting that I didn’t have testicular cancer.

Remember walking into that appointment fulla dread, and leaving feeling so light and relieved.

Then came alla the darkness there.

The first was in 2011, where Alison lost the first of six pregnancies.

Each one was awful for me, and soul-crushing for her – two were ectopic that required surgery.

It was not the last with her as she was there several more times.

Then, in 2012, I was told that I probably had a torn ACL there, which was confirmed.

I spent the next two years rehabing it (the picture in that entry is directly outside the building).

Then, in 2014, had another kinda spot of good-ish news when went in and was told that I needed to get a colonoscopy there but that turned out ok as well.

Between 2015 and 2017, Alison went there a number of times for tests and such for her cancer.

None of those experiences were good nor happy.

I hated even being near the place.

Two years ago, I walked in and was told that (a) I had massive bone spurs in my hand, and (b) I’d broken no less than seven of my ten fingers in my life.

And then earlier this week, I walked in after three months of trying to get x-rays and/or an MRI on my back and I was floored.

Like always, I was given a complete shock that shook my sense of self.

 

Her: OK, well you definitely don’t have cancer.
Me: (breathing in deeply) OK, that’s good but it sounds like there’s a “but” about to happen…
Her: (purses lips and nods slightly) Yes, well…did you know that you have scoliosis?
Me: What?! No, wait, I don’t have scoliosis.
Her: I’m afraid you do. Here, let me show you…

And she whipped out the x-rays you see above.

You can see the curve in my spine.

Evidently, I’ve had that my whole life.

BUT, because I’ve been working out my whole life, I never really noticed it – until recently, that is.

Me: Is that why I’m in so much pain? Like a few months ago, I could barely walk down the street when it rained.
Her: Partially. You have a lot of arthritis in your back as well, and you can see in the slide on the right where your disc slipped.
Me: Is there anything that can be done?
Her: Just PT, I’m afraid. The (main doctor) will get you a script for a much higher dose of celebrex than you’re on right now. (later) You have a lot of injuries.
Me: (shrugging) Just clumsy, I guess.

Like I said, I walked in with one sense of what my reality was and left wholly with another one.

At least I don’t have cancer.

That’s always a win, despite all the other discouraging news.

Location: home all day, nursing my back
Mood: blargh
Music: read the signs from your head to your toes (Spotify)
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The Firecracker’s Birthday 2025

Just a nappetizer

Her: I’m going to take a nap.
Me: A NAP?! It’s 6:21PM. How do you fall asleep at night?
Her: (shrugging) It’s never a problem. That’s just a nappetizer.
Me: Oh my god…

It was the Firecracker’s birthday, recently so tonight, we packed up the kids and headed to that Japanese BBQ place around the hood that we like.

Her sister and niece were available, so they joined us, my kid, and the Firecracker’s kid for dinner.

My producer for Scenic Fights essentially told me that I had to lose some weight, so I stuck to protein, fat, and rum and diet cokes all night.

All-in-all, it wasn’t terrible.

The copious amounts of meat swimming in butter didn’t hurt matters.

The kids were, decidedly, not eating keto as they filled up on dumplings…

…and eggrolls, which were all hits with them.

Seeing as my birthday is only a few weeks away, we got to talking about our (somewhat sizable) age difference, and how our childhoods were kinda similar but also, very different.

Me: Let’s do an experiment. Honey, quote that show you showed me on YouTube and see if she can guess it.
Firecracker: She’s gonna know. But ok. (pauses, affects a voice), “I’m so excited!”
Sister: (immediately) Oh, that’s Jessie Spano when she ODed on caffeine pills.
Me: (shakes head) That’s ridiculous. You two are ridiculous.
Sister: You totally missed that era of pop culture, didn’t you?
Me: So, it would seem.

The kids were more focused on their screens and the deep fried oreo cookies that we got for them.

 

Him: This is amazing!
Me: I told you you’d like it.

Everyone was stuffed but I legit coulda eaten another 2-3 plates of food.

But, I figured that I’m supposed to be dieting so I called it as we wrapped up.

Afterwards, we decided to walk the mile home just to work off some of what we just ate.

It was a good evening and everyone was happy, which is all you can hope for.

Me: Did you have a good night?
Her: Were you there?
Me: (laughing) Yup.
Her: Then I had a good night.

Location: 620 Amsterdam Ave, with lots of kids, protein, and drinks
Mood: moderately tipsy
Music: standing ’round this corner, tall enough to touch the New York sky (Spotify)
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Sneak Preview: A Working Man

The Screening Room

One of the perks of doing Scenic Fights is that we get invited to movie premiers and sneak peeks.

My first movie premier was The Killer in 2022, which I saw by my lonesome.

Then I saw Gladiator II with the Firecracker late last year.

Pac was supposed to catch a sneak peak of A Working Man with Jason Statham with his girl, but he couldn’t make it, so I took his spot.

This meant that, last week, after the kids were settled, we snuck off to The Screening Room at the Bryant Park Hotel to catch the film.

I’d been there a buncha times before since it’s close to my office, but never in the theatre.

After waiting in line…

…we made it to the theatre.

It was tiny, but clean and comfortable with large leather seats.

There were, at most, 20 people in the entire audience, which was cool.

While there weren’t mixed drinks nor passed hors d’oeuvres, there was a nice table of drinks and snacks, which was appreciated.

Grabbed some candy for the boys.

Me: It looks like Sylvester Stallone produced this film. Wait, he wrote it too.
Her: Oh, that’s interesting.

All-in-all, it was an ok film.

Pretty much every cliche in every action flick that both Stallone and Stratham were ever in showed up in the film.

Having said that, in terms of mindless fun, it wasn’t bad.

Afterward, we met a family that took the picture of the two of us you see above, in exchange for our taking a picture of them.

Like I always say, it’s nice being tourists in your own city.

Location: my old Kinko’s, asking if they could cut my dad’s book (no, they can’t)
Mood: weary
Music: Been sleepwalking an eternity (Spotify)
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St. Paddy’s with Indian and Irish-American food

A weekend of food and trains

ABFF: Hey last min but any chance you guys could do dinner this Fri or Sat?

It’s been a busy week or so for the kid and me – well, it was a busy weekend of food, at least.

We started off by heading to ABFF’s for dinner with her kids, my kid, the Firecracker, and some of the ABFF’s friends.

The adults basically just chatted while the kids were up to something.

We’d been on an Indian kick lately, so we all had that.

A few days later, I made some corned beef and cabbage for St. Paddy’s Day.

Then we went to my SIL to swim at her pad again.

The Firecracker’s kid and my kid had a grand time.

With us taking the light rail…

…and PATH afterward, which both boys got a kick outta.

As for me, I liked the rando artwork everywhere in Jersey City and Hoboken.

Me: Did you have a fun time?
Him: Yes! Can we do it all again next week?
Me: (laughing) It’s not really up to me, but I’m sure we’ll find something fun to do, yeah?
Him: Yeah!

Location: home, working on the garden
Mood: proud of the kid – I’ll tell you why later
Music: She took the midnight train going anywhere (Spotify)
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Absolutely killer drinks

You’re like Cookie Monster

Stopped by the Surgeon’s pad the other day just to get the kids together.

It actually was his birthday that week, so I brought over some dumplings from the joint right across the street from him.

Now, last year, I got him a nice bottle of rum at the Downtown Assocation.

After I got insanely sick in the Bahamas, I told him that I’d – respectfully – probably not drink any more tequila nor mezcal.

Luckily, he’s been experimenting with rum and I’m hoping that I have another convert.

To wit, he mixed us all several different iterations of a Hemmingway Daiquiri.

Me: Oh, we had this on our first date!
Her: Yeah – you told me to eat that dried lime and I almost gagged.
Me: …sorry?

He even made a Japanese Yuzu Hemmingway Daiquiri.

The Surgeon made such absolutely killer drinks that I spent a solid few hours just passed out on the sofa as other guests came and went.

In fact, this was my view most of the night.

It was a really nice night, like always.

And I didn’t feel like death the next day, so win-win!

Me: Oh man, I ate and drank waaaaay too much last night.
Her: You’re like Cookie Monster, except you’re not as selective as he is.
Me: What?
Her: Well, he just thinks of eating cookies all day and you just think of eating all day.
Me: Fair.

Location: earlier today, my old gym, injuring myself with a weight
Mood: grumpy
Music: days turn into night like these when my willpower’s weak (Spotify)
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A party and grossness

So much grossness

The kid got invited to his friend’s birthday party the other day, so we all headed down to Chelsea Piers again.

Like I said before, it’s always nice to be included.

Felt bad this time around because we had the four of us – the kid and me, and the Firecracker and her kid – but the hosts were super kind and told us we were all welcome so off we went.

The kids had a blast…

…and my own kid ate his weight in…stuff.

Now, in the middle of it, some other kid ate some of the fruit with the serving tongs, which he put into his mouth.

As soon as he put the tongs down, I grabbed it and asked one of the helpers to replace it, which he did.

Unfortunately, I might not have caught it in time.

See, later on that night, he got hit HARD with a stomach bug.

Can’t say for sure that it was because of that kid, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

In any case, I’ll not post pics but just trust me when I tell you that it was spectacularly gross.

The kid’s friend that lives next door to us and always invites us over for holidays also got ridonk sick.

It was a pretty rough three days for both of them and they both had to miss a day of school – the Firecracker and her kid (luckily) didn’t get sick.

Oh, I should mention that the Firecracker – after 10PM, which is when the kid had his worst bout of grossness – immediately donned some gloves and kneeled into the thick of the grossness to help me clean it up, something she absolutely didn’t have to do but I was deeply grateful that she did.

Me: (in between dry heaving) I’m so sorry about this. Thank you for helping.
Her: (cleaning) Of course. I used to be a schoolteacher. This stuff doesn’t bother me.

Speaking of knees, it’s stuff like that that makes me think she’s just the bees’ knees.

Most of the time.

Me: I think that I’m pretty chill these days because I’m…
Her: …old.
Me: (shaking head) That really wasn’t necessary.

Location: the supermarket for the third time in one day because I’m so forgetful these days
Mood: fat
Music: Now I’m taking sips of your potion (Spotify)
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Memory Lane

Not that there’s anything wrong with that

After the Firecracker and I came back from her surprise shower, we then dashed off to our local dive bar – Malachy’s – and met up with my old roomie, Buckley.

We actually lived in the same dorm waaaaaay back in 1991 (!) and kept in touch after I left.

When he moved into the city, he and I became roomies and, after a few years, he and I bought our apartment together.

I remember that my dad had questions.

Dad: You…and Buckley…are buying an apartment? Together?
Me: Yeah, why?
Him: Well…is there anything else you wanna tell me?
Me: (puzzled) No, why? (thinking) OMG! No, we’re just friends. And poor. We’re poor friends. We can’t afford a place alone, so we need to pool our money together.
Him: Oh…
Me: (quickly) Not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re just poor.

This is us in 1998, right before we bought the place.

I dunno what we were thinking with those sweaters or my goatee.

In any case, we met up at Malachy’s because that and Big Nick’s – which is where the main picture was taken – were the two greasy spoon dives that we always went to.

It’s weird. He looks like him just…older. And I’m the same.

We were literally kids when we met – like 17. And now his son is not that far off from the age when we first met.

Rain Noe, Logan Lo

And I’ve been chatting with Rain a lot these days.

He’s just dealing with some real estate issues and that’s kinda what I do.

That’s a pic of us back in 1998 downtown. I think at a joint called Stingy Lulu‘s (or Yaffa Cafe).

Big Nick’s is long gone – it closed back in 2013 and I wrote about it. I remember chatting with Alison about it.

Stingy Lulu’s has been gone for decades – as has Yaffa Cafe.

The thing about being 51 in 2025 is that I don’t really have any pictures or videos of some of the most seminal moments of my life.

This was a little bit after he moved out and Alison moved in.

Because, back then, cameras were crappy and usually just film or – in my case – crappy digital.

Did you know that your memories aren’t replayed, they’re reconstructed each and every time you remember them?

That means that every time you remember thing, there’s a (high) chance you’ll alter that memory a bit and those alterations keep piling up until you can’t trust your own memories anymore?

And that’s why I wish I had better pictures/videos to remember my possible pasts with.

Luckily, I have my friends to help me remember those memories.

Me: He was a quant at Long Term Capital, right?
Him: No, he was a programmer – he was on his way to being a quant when it imploded.
Me: Gotcha – I didn’t know that.

Unfortunately, I don’t have Alison here to remember the memories that mattered the very most to me.

Ah, fuck…

This is what my room looked like when it was just me and Buckley – two bachelors in the city.
A dragonfly from this entry in 2008. I have questions about that day but no one to ask.

Location: this morning, looking up therapists for various reasons
Mood: messy
Music: saw my life in a strangers face and it was mine (Spotify)
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Surprising her again, but not by me

The Firecracker had a surprise party the other day

Amazingly, the very next day after I wrote the previous entry about my fixing my server hack, it got hacked again in the morning.

Super annoying, but, luckily, most of the site was pretty barebones by then so we were able to patch that part pretty quickly.

Let’s see how long this lasts.

On another topic, entirely, the Firecracker had to go to a “conference” the other day.

It turns out that it was all a sham – but the good kind.

See, her coworkers had to think of a reason to get her to come up for a surprise party thrown by her coworkers to celebrate her engagement to me.

Me: I get that. You *are* pretty lucky to have me.
Her: (rolls eyes)

She was super touched by the gesture and hit me up to swing by.

Her: My coworkers are the best! Come on by, we’ll be here a bit.

While I feel that I’m always crashing her office events, she said it was fine, so I headed up.

Everyone, like always, was super sweet.

They had hors d’oeuvres, champagne, sandwiches, salads, and a ton of desserts…

…including some homemade cupcakes to boot.

They played some games…

…and also handed out prizes.

I won a scrunchie, as did she. 

Considering my quantity of hair, I’ll most likely give her mine.

We ate our fill and then headed home because later on that night, I was supposed to meet up with my old college roomie and buddy, Buckley.

I’ll tell you about that in the next entry.

Her: Five? You ate FIVE sandwiches?
Me: Well, no one else was eating them, so…
Her: What do you have, a hollow leg?
Me: In my defense, I only ate like half the bread.

Location: the basement, cleaning out a ton of brick dust from alla the previous work
Mood: busy and beat
Music: No, you’re not late to the party, don’t worry there’s still time (Spotify)
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A Revolutionary Afternoon

Rasputin was a real wizard

Because the Firecracker and I did so much traveling the past two years, we were chatting about getting into the TSA Precheck Program.

To this end, we both met up downtown at the National Museum of the American Indian, which is – oddly – where we had our interview.

The last time I’d been down there was in this entry, 13 years ago.

What a different life I led back then.

In any case, the interview itself was insanely fast; we were both done in less than three minutes.

It’s alla the paperwork that you gotta do ahead time that’s the real time killer.

Afterward, I told her that I’d buy her a drink downtown.

Me: Have you ever been to Fraunces Tavern?
Her: (thinking) That’s like a Revolutionary War place, yes? I don’t think so?
Me: Sweeeet, ok, let’s go.

It’s a place that George Washington supposedly utilized as a headquarters for war planning.

While we were there, I got a really good mead – for the first time, ever – and she just had some wine.

We chatted with the bartender for a bit before walking around downtown.

There were so many cool shops and restaurants downtown that we had difficulties figuring out where to eat.

Ultimately, she decided she wanted a lobster roll so we found a place downtown that had an excellent one.

She was very excited.

It felt luxurious to be out and about in the middle of the day.

This meant that we had time for some important and deep conversations.

Her: Have you ever considered that maybe Rasputin was a real wizard?
Me: OK, where to begin with that statement…?

Afterward, we walked around a bit more downtown…

…before we called it and went home.

Her: This is one of those things I like best about New York City.
Me: What?
Her: There’s just so much to do and see.
Me: (nodding) Yeah. I’ve been here my whole life and still think there’s so much I’ve not seen here yet.

Location: in front of six tacos, wondering if I should have a seventh
Mood: exhausted
Music: Völlig losgelöst von der Erde (Spotify)
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