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Unkindness, Pt 2

Running into people

Like I said, a buncha people from my past have been making a reappearance in my life, in a manner of speaking – either they actually have or I thought about them, which I’d probably not done in a while.

First is someone I’ll call the Cellini Coach whom I last saw out in California.

I call him Cellini because, like him and Jason Everman, he’s insanely successful in some seriously disparate fields:

  • He sold a buncha companies to Google and Facebook – you’ve absolutely used his stuff if you’ve been on either of them – and might be a billionaire. I’m not sure.
  • He’s also a ridonk fighter – fourth degree black belt in BJJ from Gracie Barra, great boxer, and trained shooter and wrestler – and is kinda my private coach on certain things (see below).
  • He’s also getting his master’s degree in philosophy a Oxford.

Despite alla this, though, he’s a pretty quiet and down-to-earth kinda guy.

Him: Don’t put up a picture of me.
Me: It’s ironic that a fella that helped invent the internet doesn’t wanna be on it.

Plus, even though he’s a super busy and successful guy, he’ll still take the time out to answer questions that I’ve got regarding certain aspects of fighting which I always appreciate.

Like most kindnesses I get, it’s a kindness that is neither expected nor warranted.

Below is him acting as my coach, which he totally doesn’t need to do, and yet he does.

We met up just this past week a mutual friend’s physical therapy joint – Recalibrate PT, which is probably one of the best PT spaces in the city IMHO.

There, Cellini he took two hours outta his super busy schedule to give me a private lesson to help me fix a buncha issues I’ve been having with my game.

I also ran into a whole raft of friends while there that I’d not seen in ages, including my buddy Sawyer – who was training with my friend Cotton (whom I also recommend if you’re looking for a personal trainer).

Me: Dude, we loved Masters of the Air, whatever happened to your character (Lt. Roy Frank Claytor)?
Sawyer: In the show, he just disappeared but in real life, he survived WWII and fought in the Korean and Vietnam Wars, which he also survived.

On a somewhat related note, I recently had a phone call with someone whom I was unkind to ages ago.

He said I never apologized to him for being unkind to him, but he seems to have forgotten that he wouldn’t let me apologize to him.

Still, I suppose that’s really neither here nor there; I could have apologized again but chose not to again.

In any case, I figured that, since I was the one originally in the wrong, I’d just go ahead and apologize again to him, again and did that.

I’m hoping he took it to heart just because I would hate for anyone to suffer because of something I did, but that’s really his decision to make and not mine.

I suppose we all do unkind things as much as we do kind ones and, when we do unkind things, we should try to fix things when given an opportunity to do so.

This actually reminds me of something else entirely, but I’ll tell you about that later.

Location: my freezing pad
Mood: possibly sick with a broken toe
Music: I thought it was just another fight (Spotify)

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Harry Potter and the Taiwan Bear

Broadway and Chinatown

Her: I got tickets to see Harry Potter on Broadway!
Me: Oh, nice! Who are you going with?
Her: (puzzled) You?
Me: Oh…

I never read any of the Harry Potter books and only saw the first movie with Sara relatively recently last year with the kids.

It was fine but not really my thing.

When the books first came out, I was dating the Reporter at the time and she was super into it, and I tried reading it a few times but just couldn’t get into it.

So, when Sara told me that she got tickets, I was less than enthused.

Still, Sara was really looking forward to it because the actor (Tom Felton) that played the blond kid Draco Malfoy returned to play the same character as an adult.

So, when the day that the play rolled around, I just shut and up went.

It was snowing like mad when we left.

But it was a quick ride and we were there before we knew it.

She told me it won several awards for its special effects and, I gotta say, I was pretty impressed with the show overall.

It was kinda like a play and a magic show rolled up in one.

The story itself wasn’t bad – at all. But the special effects were really impressive.

In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Her: So, what did you think?
Me: Honestly? It was pretty good. I’m glad you got the tickets. Thanks!
Her: Sure, thanks for coming.

Afterward, we stepped out to Times Square where I almost lost her as she took a little video.

That’s her in the pink below.

Later on that week, we got a hankering for more Taiwanese food again.

Because the kids were away, we headed to a new – well, new to us – joint downtown called Taiwan Bear House.

It was good but not as good as our usual dive that we loved.

We had decided to do a mini-food crawl so, afterward, we went to get Vietnamese coffee, a bánh mì, and some pho.

The bill was actually cheaper than the listed menu price.

Me: Oh, we got the Chinese discount!
Her: There’s a Chinese discount?
Me: (laughing) Sometimes. This is one of those times.
Her: Sweeeeeet.

We both miss our kids but it’s still nice having some times to ourselves, even if it’s just for a little bit.

Location: Canto in the UWS
Mood: chilly
Music: people need a melody to open their eyes (Spotify)
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All friends are great…

…but your old ones are gold

Her: Logan, congratulations! Are you and Mrs. L free on Dec 13? [We’d] would like to take you out to celebrate.
Me: Hola, and yes, I think so but we’re in Korea ATM and heading to Taiwan tomorrow AM. Back on the 30th. Firm up then?

My friends around the way plus RE Mike and his wife dropped me a line the other day.

I’ve known them all for at least a quarter of a century when they all lived close by.

Said it before that all friends are great, but your old ones are gold.

We actually went to a new Greek restaurant in the neighborhood that I’d not been to yet.

The food was killer and RE Mike, being RE Mike, chatted up the owner, who spent a good deal of time at our table telling us all about everything.

Me: Thanks so much for taking us out, it’s really so nice of you.
Her: We wanted to celebrate you two!
Me: Well, thank you, we’re definitely grateful…and fat.

Later that week, we met up with the ABFF and went to one of her friend’s places for a holiday party.

Someone made some lasagna, which I have a hard time saying no to, and it turned out to be the fella that does The Dad Bod Pod, a podcast that interviews fathers.

Him: Do you want to do an episode?
Me: (shrugging) Sure – I’m not sure what I’d talk about but, I’m game.
Him: OK! You can’t take it back now…

OK, I realize there’s no lasagna in this picture. I forgot to take a picture of it. Just trust me here…

There were a whole buncha kids there and they wanted to head up to the roof so up we went.

The views were pretty killer.

Although I liked one view in particular.

It was a school night, so we ended relatively early.

Like I said, all friends are good, but the old ones are gold.

Firecracker: You have nice friends.
Me: Yeah, I try not to keep the douchebags around.

Location: yet another holiday party, this time with a lava cake
Mood: fat…so fat
Music: I bought a rock, I tied the knot, and I’m making her my wife (Spotify)
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Nightmares and noctambulation

Telling our stories our way

Her: Hey man, so my fiancé’s doing a pop up this coming Thursday at Tiki Chick!
Me: Wha!? Ok! Lemme see if the Firecracker and I can make it

My buddy Katrina hit me up the other day to tell me that her boyfriend fiancé was bartending at my local bar, Tiki Chick.

So, off we went.

This is the Aaaaaaaaah!

He made this drink he called the Aaaaaaaaah! for the Halloween theme of the night and it was honestly delicious – one of the best drinks I’d ever had.

Unfortunately, it was a little sweet, so I only had one.

But we kept getting comped drinks – both by her fiancĂ© and the waiter – that we got pretty snockered.

I also ate a lot, including two chicken sammies and this footlong hotdog with chili and spam.

There’s a lot more that’s been going on but two other things happened, the first of which was that I got my annual flu shot.

Then the Firecracker caught a cold, and I started feeling a bit rough, but I chalked it up to the shot.

Her: Are you blaming me for your cold?
Me: Yes.
Her: That’s fair.

Nope, I got sick as well and had the worst bout of insomnia I’d had for years, coupled with nightmares and noctambulation.

Plus, later on this week, I’m getting a steroid injection into my back, so…unfun.

I’ll tell you more once this brain fog goes away.

Location: bed, sick. Send soup.
Mood: craptastic
Music: We’ll see how far it goes I said (Spotify)
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A shoot, drinks, a pier, and a church

Plus a pitcher of ice

Me: You know what I love most about living in NYC?
Firecracker: What?
Me: It’s like that line in Fools Rush In that I’m always talking about – if you wait around long enough, pretty much the whole world will pass through.

Had an all-day Scenic Fights shoot the other night for a holiday special that we’re doing.

I’m sure you can guess what holiday from the main pic.

Had to cut out of filming at a certain time both to grab my kid as well as to meet an old friend of mine that was visiting from San Francisco.

I first met him about 2004 or so when he needed a place to stay in NYC.

Doesn’t feel like over two decades ago, and yet it was.

At that time, he was dating someone, and he ended up marrying and having two kids with her – both of whom are now in college.

In any case, his oldest is now in NYC – and I think graduating this year – and he and his wife were in town and asked to meet up.

I suggested a buncha places but, because the weather was perfect, I suggested Pier I, and they agreed and met us there.

It was nice catching up with everyone.

Firecracker: We usually have pretty quiet nights.
Me: That’s because of her addiction.
Firecracker: What addiction?!
Me: Big Two – we literally play a few hands almost every night.
Friend’s Wife: OMG, we LOVE Big Two! If we had cards, we could play right now.
Firecracker: I totally would! He’s right, I am addicted.
Me: Plus, I tried to convince her to hustle a buncha old Chinese in Boston.

One little thing that was annoying is that we ordered a pitcher of a mixed drink that – after taxes and tip – cost about $100.

But we were only able to get three drinks outta it.

So, I spoke to the manager who was super nice.

Me: Sorry, I don’t mean to be all Karen about this but…that works out to be about $33.50 per drink. It was like, all ice!
Her: Oh, I would be upset too. Can I mix you three more drinks?
Me: Oh, that’s a lot. I think two would be fair.
Her: (smiling) I’ll mix three, no problem.

So, that was pretty cool.

Afterward, we took mini walk around the hood.

Him: Hey, that’s my old apartment!
Me: Yup. Not much has changed with it in over two decades.

We walked by a church which, I’ll have to tell you about one day because – completely by coincidence – it was a major part of the lecture I gave in France all those years ago because it was involved in a seminal US Supreme Court case.

Anywho, the guy that manages the church is a friend of mine and, without our even asking, he unlocked it and let us marvel at the main rectory.

Afterward, they left and we went back home.

Like I said, if you wait long enough, pretty much the whole world filters through NYC, it seems.

Her: They were nice. And it was so cool that your friend gave us a private tour of the church.
Me: Yeah. I’ve met alotta really cool and nice people all these years. Hopefully, the kid can do the same.

Location: my pad on a zoom with my doc telling me I’ll probably need surgery at some point
Mood: discouraged
Music: knew I could regain my sight, and it feels alright (Spotify)
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Have you ever had mantis shrimp?

That too…

Me: Can I use this picture of you?
Her: What? Why?
Me: Because you look so ridiculous, I wanna put it up.
Her: What? You don’t think I look cute there?
Me: Well, sure, that too…

If you managed to hack into my social media feed, you would find the following types of videos being shown:

    • Videos about food
    • Videos about fighting
    • Videos about wild boar hunting (don’t ask)
    • Videos about mantis shrimp

For the last one, if you don’t know, the mantis shrimp has one of the most powerful punches on the planet, despite their diminutive size.

They can punch with the speed of a 22-caliber bullet and regularly smash aquariums.

Warning, kinda graphic.

Anywho, imagine my surprise when the Surgeon wrote me outta the blue.

Surgeon: I just saw mantis shrimp at a market in sunset park. Haven’t seen those since Vietnam.
Steel: Buy a ton of them and I’ll swing by tomorrow to cook them.
Surgeon: I got six pounds. Those dudes looked at me like I walked out of a UFO. (I’m regularly the only white guy in all of sunset park.)
Me: (laughing)

So, this past weekend, we all went to the Surgeon’s pad and had some.

Steel made a killer herbed butter to cook them…

…and then they prepped them…

…while I held down the rum-drinking portion of things.

They say that it tastes like a mix between shrimp and lobster.

I’d agree with that BUT I feel the texture is a bit softer, which I find slightly off putting but is otherwise, delicious (I prob just need to get used to it).

Afterward, we had some dessert before heading back home.

Unfortunately, there was an uninvited guest on the platform of our train.

Her: Rat aside, tonight was fun.
Me: They’re always a good time. Man, I had a lotta rum.
Her: At least it wasn’t mezcal.
Me: Ugh. Yeah…

Location: home, figuring out middle school stuff…
Mood: overwhelmed
Music: guessing that’s real good news (Spotify)
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The Handsome Mens Club

A new year

Me: When are you two free for the next meeting of the Handsome Mens Club (trademark pending)?
NFL Player: Next week or following week?
Thor: Absolutely.

It’s been a busy week of catching up with people now that school’s back in session.

It’s funny, before I was a parent, my year began in September just because that’s when it began as a kid.

But as a parent, it begins in September again because the kid’s year now begins in September.

And so does the year of all my friends with kids.

Case in point: Met up with Thor and the NFL Player for dinner around the way at a new joint called Sugarfish because they were both back in town from their summer travels.

The food was very good BUT the rice was warm – warmer than body temperature – and I’ve just never had warm sushi rice before.

Very odd.

Also checked out Thor’s new whip that he got just for fun.

Him: (proudly) Zero-to-sixty in less than three seconds.
Me: Jesus.

Then, that weekend, the Firecracker, the kids, and I all went down to the Surgeon’s for a little get-together where we finished an entire bottle of rum…

Me: (to Flutist, the Surgeon’s wife) Your husband almost killed me last time.
Surgeon: That’s why we’ve been drinking rum.
Flutist: It was that bad?
Firecracker: (nodding) Oh, yeah…oh, yeah…

…before we went up to their roof because the weather was just perfect.

Then, the very next morning, bright and early, I went over to Cappy’s like I said in the last entry.

There, I went to his roof and saw more spectacular skylines.

I live in the basement of a townhouse, so my views are of garbage cans and a parking lot.

Maybe someday, I’ll live in a place with gorgeous views.

Actually, nah.

Don’t wanna get spoiled.

Location: NJ, having what I thought was good Italian food. Others disagreed.
Mood: fatty-fat-fat
Music: wanna let you know I’m gonna build castles (Spotify)

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Sunday morning rolling

Plus a, little daydrinking

Him: Tomorrow, come with me to Brooklyn. I’ll get you and we can Uber on me. It starts around 1030-1045AM.
Me: Le what? Lemme talk to my girl about having her watch both kids.

Normally, my weekends are spent shuttling the kid from one thing to another but, because school just started, some days are still up in the air in terms of his schedule.

I’ve been hanging with this other surgeon that lives around me, and he knows that I do some grappling, so he invited me to this little gathering out in Brooklyn for an informal class.

Turned out that it was taught by a guy that my buddy Robinson describes as: “Probably the most knowledgeable (and dangerous) BJJ guy in New York after Jon Calestine and Eddie Cummings.”

Pretty high praise.

So, this past weekend, met up with the Fighter Surgeon and we headed out to the wilds of Brooklyn.

Interestingly, it was right by the old gym I used to head to in Brooklyn for a short stint.

It was actually a lotta fun, despite my back not being the best. Nice being on the mats again.

The instructor showed me some pretty clever tweaks to moves I already knew, which was a plus.

And everyone was very nice and chill.

Afterwards, we went around the corner and had a drink.

Me: Do you have a Michelob Ultra?
Him: God, you are such a woman.
Me: You try looking this good at 52!
Bartender: No, sorry. No light beers.
Me: Then just a rum and diet coke, then. Man, there’s nuthin like alcohol in the morning after violence.

It was a nice little change of pace from my usual quiet Sunday mornings.

Location: the kid’s hot classroom with two cameras
Mood: sweaty
Music: gonna try with a little help from my friends (Spotify)
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My – and Dorothy’s – Home Town

You never get used to New York

My first NYC apartment was just two blocks from the Algonquin Hotel.

Used to walk past it alla time and think about one of my fave authors at that time, Dorothy Parker.

Haven’t read or thought about her in years but today, I remembered her essay about our shared hometown that she wrote almost 100 years ago but still resonates now.

Figured that, if you haven’t read it, I’ll put it below for you.

My Home Town
by Dorothy Parker

It occurs to me that there are other towns.

It occurs to me so violently that I say, at intervals, “Very well, if New York is going to be like this, I’m going to live somewhere else.”

And I do – that’s the funny part of it.

‘But then one day there comes to me the sharp picture of New York at its best, on a shiny blue-and-white Autumn day with its buildings cut diagonally in halves of light and shadow, with its straight neat avenues colored with quick throngs, like confetti in a breeze.

Someone, and I wish it had been I, has said that “Autumn is the Springtime of big cities.”

I see New York at holiday time, always in the late afternoon, under a Maxfield Parrish sky, with the crowds even more quick and nervous but even more good-natured, the dark groups splashed with the white of Christmas packages, the lighted holly-strung shops urging them in to buy more and more.

I see it on a Spring morning, with the clothes of the women as soft and as hopeful as the pretty new leaves on a few, brave trees.

I see it at night, with the low skies red with the black-flung lights of Broadway, those lights of which Chesterton – or they told me it was Chesterton – said, “What a marvelous sight for those who cannot read!”

I see it in the rain, I smell the enchanting odor of wet asphalt, with the empty streets black and shining as ripe olives. I see it – by this time, I become maudlin with nostalgia – even with its gray mounds of crusted snow, its little Appalachians of ice along the pavements.

So, I go back.

And it is always better than I thought it would be.

I suppose that is the thing about New York.

It is always a little more than you had hoped for.

Each day, there, is so definitely a new day.

“Now we’ll start over,” it seems to say every morning, “and come on, let’s hurry like anything.”

London is satisfied…,

Paris is resigned…,

…but New York is always hopeful.

Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.

There is excitement ever running its streets.

Each day, as you go out, you feel the little nervous quiver that is yours when you sit in the theater just before the curtain rises.

Other places may give you a sweet and soothing sense of level; but in New York there is always the feeling of “Something’s going to happen.”

It isn’t peace.

But, you know, you do get used to peace, and so quickly.

And you never get used to New York.

By Derek Jensen – Tysto, Public Domain

Location: my hometown, thinking of all those years ago
Mood: somber
Music: New York sky don’t get much brighter – she sets, she sets the city on fire (Spotify)
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When you know…

…you know

A dear friend wrote me outta the blue one morning.

Her: Hola! You’re probably sleeping but I wanted to see if you and [The Firecracker] are doing anything on the 29th. This guy I’m dating, who apparently is my boyfriend, is taking me to dinner in the city. He’s inviting you both to join.
Me: What?! Yes! And…what!?

I’ve known her a solid 17 years and have never met anyone she’s ever dated, let alone someone she’s called her boyfriend.

So, I moved a buncha things around and the two of us met up with her and her fella at Aqua, downtown.

He was actually a super nice fella and seemed a touch nervous, which I found pretty sweet.

Me: How did you two meet?
Friend: (rolls her eyes) How do you think, Logan?
Me: Ah, the traditional online meet-cute.
Firecracker: Logan wanted to make the best first impression so he ate a full dinner before dinner.
Me: This is true, I had to pregame with a burger and salad.

Of course, this didn’t stop me from finishing my entire meal.

As well as the Firecracker’s.

And my friend’s.

And…

Him: I actually only wanted half the pizza.
Me: Are you sure?
Friend: Just eat it, Logan, you know you want to.
Me: (shrugging) Hokay.
Firecracker: I honest-to-god don’t know where he puts it all. I always say that he’s got a peg leg.

Turns out that he’s only in town for a (very) long-term work project but hinted that he was open to moving to the area for her.

Friend: (joking) I don’t know why he’s so into me.
Me: Oh, I get it.
Firecracker: Me too – when you know you know.

This isn’t to say that they’re guaranteed to end up together – although the Firecracker and I really liked him and hope they work out – but it’s definitely worlds easier when both parties are really into each other.

Afterward, we went to Thyme Bar where I bought a round of drinks before heading back.

The drinks were delicious and insanely strong.

On the ride back, the Firecracker and I got to talking; we both agreed that we felt a spark the moment we met and saw each other almost every day for weeks.

Me: The thing is that, when I met you, I wanted to see you as much as possible because the worst type of disappointment is the kind that takes months to figure out.
Her: (nodding) Same. I wanted to know as soon as possible as well.

Said it before, the worst part about dating is the constant disappointment and disappointing.

Here’s hoping they make their spark last.

Firecracker: (reading over my shoulder as I write this) Like us!
Me: (laughing) Agreed.

Location: home, listening to the dulcet sounds of TWO jackhammers right outside my door
Mood: Jackhammered
Music: And I want you to want to be here with me (Spotify)
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