Category: personal

Thinking in a particular way

Last Friday was National Cheeseburger Day and I was in the middle of writing Sara that I wanted to maybe have a bad dinner of burgers and fast food when she wrote me first – as I was writing out my own message.

Her: I’m craving chicken nuggets. Like BADLY 😂😂
Me: Wait, what?!? I was just about to write you that it’s National Cheeseburger Day and we should eat trash tonight.
Her: Really?! We are in sync!

Clearly, she is my person.

Similarly, years ago, my brother called me to tell me that he’d just bought a box of Certs because he couldn’t find a box of Certs that he bought previously.

So, he looks around his house for where to put it, so he’ll remember where it is, thinks of a perfect spot, and goes to put it there only to find…the box of certs.

That’s actually happened to me a number of times.

Like, I bought some plastic repair putty called Sugru that my brother mentioned to me years ago to fix all sorts of things.

When I got it, I remembered that my brother told me to keep it in the fridge.

So, I was thinking of where best to put it and decided to keep it in the butter drawer in the back where I found…a package of Sugru.

Evidently, I bought it when my brother suggested it and forgot I had it but, luckily, I came to the same logical conclusion of where to keep it.

I was thinking about alla this because I’ve literally been marveling how close my dad and I lived to each other in the same neighborhood and how often I’ve walked past his office where I’m sure he had all these hopes and dreams, successes and failures.

But then, as I thought a little more, I went back to that old debate of nurture over nature.

It makes sense that my brother and I would do identical things – he with the Certs, I with the Sugru – because we were both raised the same way by a father that stressed logical thinking and contextual observation AND because we are so genetically similar.

Likewise, it makes sense that my dad and I would gravitate to the same neighborhood; there are between 350 and 400 neighborhoods in NYC so this is a pretty large coincidence.

I’ve been thinking for days, “What if we had some shared hopes and dreams in the exact same place?”

But, the fact that my dad and I would choose the same ones at roughly the same age does make some sense as he was taught to think in a particular way and he, in turn, taught me to think in a particular way.

But maybe there’s more (or less than) than that.

These two co-workers – Dave Green and Andrea Urmston – worked together at Manchester airport, bonded instantly and joked that they felt like siblings, only to later discover that they were brother and sister, separated at birth.

Or consider Becky Gibson and Ralph Slawter, two siblings separated for over 30 years that ended up living just a few doors apart in the same nursing home without realizing it.

(Another really weird sidenote, I actually dated someone that had the same name as one of the two women I just mentioned).

With those two, it wasn’t nurture as they were all separated and raised different. So, it has to be biological/nature.

After all, they shared genetic temperament traits like: Social capacity/energy, sense of humor, interpersonal behavior, etc.

And they also gravitated toward similar types of work, which was structured and mechanical in airport operations.

It supports the idea that genetics nudges people toward certain environments.

And, while writing this, I just remembered that my sister and I – completely independently of each other – chose the exact same marble and showerhead for our respective bathroom renovations.

Maybe with my dad and me, it’s enough nurture and nature that these coincidences aren’t all that strange.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll find more as I continue to scan stuff and look through old pics.

I’ll keep you posted.

Location: the gym, telling them I’ll have to leave
Mood: anxious
Music: I’m telling you, it’s meant to be, my dear. (Spotify)
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