Category: personal

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personal

The Firecracker’s Odyssey

24 hours of delays and cancelations

I try my best to keep this blog about me, directly.

Indirectly, there are all these characters that rotate in and outta it, particularly the kid and the Firecracker.

Having said that, the Firecracker and I didn’t get to have a real St. Valentine’s Day this year around because she went to go visit her mom in the south the other day.

But we made some pretty cool plans when she got back, alla which went to hell.

Lemme explain: Her trip there was uneventful, but the trip back was…far less so.

For starters, a freakishly strong windstorm moved into the northeast and made itself at home the day she was scheduled to fly back.

This meant that:

  • Her original flight was delayed two times from afternoon to early evening.
  • She drove to the airport at night, some six hours after she was supposed to leave, and was the only person there. After a bit, others came but then, close to midnight, some eight hours after her initial flight, they cancelled it.
  • So, she booked an early morning flight and walked a third-of-a-mile at night to crash at a hotel but, by the time she arrived there, they cancel that flight.
  • She then books another flight heading to NYC but only after a connection in DC. Because we had those plans for President’s Day, she took it.
  • The next day, she finally manages to catch the flight to DC (!!) but, while she was in the air, the airline cancels the flight to NYC (!!!) and rebooks her connecting flight to NYC…for the next day. (!!!!)

Me: Just take a train back!
Her: Yeah, I’ll do that, or I’ll never make it home.

I tried to help by buying her a ticket while she navigated the DC metro to the train station. Except…

Her: Babe. This ticket is for the 25th.
Me: Damnit! Hold on. Glad you saw that.
Her: No worries. I’ll get home, eventually…

And she did.

After 24 hours of plane delays and cancelations, and a 3.5-hour Amtrak ride.

Me: Welcome back!
Her: I need a drink.
Me: Sweeeeeet.

I took her out for a quick bite at a local cafe.

It wasn’t the Valentine’s Day we had planned but it was nice just having her home.

Location: earlier today, my old gym, with fellas I’ve known for over 20 years
Mood: brrrrrrrrrrr (still)
Music: Don’t get lost ’cause I am waitin’ (Spotify)
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Fixing cracks around here

Less than thrilled

The kid cracked another tooth the other day so we had to drop everything and head to the dentist’s to fix it.

This time, however, insurance was able to cover everything, so that was a plus.

Poor guy was less than thrilled, lemme tell ya.

Him: You have no idea how this feels!
Me: Dude, most adults know exactly how it feels – we’ve all done it. You’ll survive this, trust me.

Afterward, I brought him to see his grandparents out in the wilds of NJ…

…I stayed for dinner because they were having Afghan food and we all love it.

Couldn’t really stay longer than for dinner because there’s work that needs to be done on my building that we’re (finally) doing after literally decades of putting it off.

Essentially, our building has settled, and this has resulted in large cracks in our facade.

According to an engineer that came by, while it’s not dangerous to life or property at the moment, we had a few years to fix it before it became a serious problem.

A fella that did work for us years ago just happened to be free so I jumped at the chance to have him fix it.

Just like with any other repair work, as soon as he started, he saw more issues, like, look at how much mortar is missing from the bricks above, or how rusted the internal metal is between the layers of brick, below.

He’s gonna tell me after he’s had more time to check it out if we need to do anything more for that.

Home and kid ownership is rewarding, for sure, but keeping the home from falling down and the kid in one piece is really a full-time thing.

Then again, I’m not sure I’d want it any other way.

Him: Thanks for bringing me to the dentist.
Me: Sure thing, but let’s avoid doing that for a while, ok?
Him: Definitely!

Location: meeting the Firecracker for dinner out and about like real adults
Mood: brrrrrrrrrrr
Music: I’m standing right here for you (Spotify)
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Writing from the future

…and you’re doing ok

The kid’s trying out for another talent show this year – I think he’ll make it, but you never know.

He’s already got a song picked out, which is a rock classic; I’ll post it after he does the show if he makes it in.

I try to show him all the songs that were meaningful to me when I was a kid because I think those songs stay with you in special ways.

A more modern song that I’ve been listening to is one called Dear Me by a fella named Eric Hutchinson.

I think I’ll play it for the kid one of these days, soon.

Whenever I hear it, I think of alla these different versions of me that are as real and immediate to me as if I were still them.

That’s a whole entry in-and-of-itself.

In the meantime, here’s the song, give it a go?

Dear me, you’ll be older one day
I’m writing from the future and you’re doing ok
I said now, dear me, hold on to what you’ve got
Things are gonna change, but change is better than you thought
Dear me
I know you’re scared as hell of everything right now
But don’t get lost and where you’re going
Dear me
You’re gonna fall in love with the girl that you live next door to
And you have no real way of knowing
You don’t know who you are
You don’t know who you are
You don’t know who you are
But I know you’re trying
You don’t know who you are
You don’t know who you are
You don’t know who you are
But you’re multiplying
Dear me, you’ll be older one day
I’m writing from the future and you’re doing ok
I said now dear me, hold on to what you’ve got
Things are gonna change, but change is better than you thought
Said you gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
You gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
Dear me
Don’t keep people in your life that treat you like crap
And don’t lose sleep over them either
Dear me
Never give up on the good that rests inside of you
And don’t believe the non-believers
You gonna make mistakes
You gonna make mistakes
You gonna make mistakes
But they will fall behind you
You gonna make mistakes
You gonna make mistakes
You gonna make mistakes
But they won’t define you
Dear me, you’ll be older one day
I’m writing from the future and you’re doing ok
I said now dear me, hold on to what you’ve got
Things are gonna change but change is better than you thought
Said you gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
You gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
Take care of family and the ones you love
Put all your energy into human stuff
Staying young is hard to do
So, when life’s getting serious just don’t take it so serious.
I said dear me, hold on to what you’ve got
Things are gonna change but change is better than you thought
Said you gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
You gonna get yourself, get yourself, get yourself together
Keep growing up, but don’t get old
Take care of what you can’t control
Respect the heart that you’re gonna break
Forgive mistakes that you will make
If I were you I would not care
But some old messes to beware
So you probably won’t listen to a word I say
You probably won’t listen to a word I say
You probably won’t listen to a word I say
You’re doing ok
Dear me.

Location: home, chatting with the Firecracker who’s stuck at the airport
Mood: nostalgic
Music: get yourself together (Spotify)
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A new daily driver

Nuthin but steel and oil

Steel and the Surgeon, since at least the late 90s, have turned to me for advice on all things tech.

But when it comes to food, I generally speak to Steel first, then Bryson and Pac, although I mainly hit up Bryson for Japanese food tips and Pac for Korean.

Now, when Alison first got sick, one of the first things I did was to toss/donate alla our Teflon cookware and replace it was “safer” ceramic cookware.

It’s dented on one side, but no metal utensil has ever touched it so it’s remarkably slick/non-stick. I’m loathe to toss it.

The above is a “safe” ceramic pan and was the pan I pretty much used daily for just about everything since Alison got sick.

It’s slicker than a greased pig running downhill BUT I still don’t trust it completely, despite it being ceramic.

Now, the last time I was at Steel’s he showed me his daily driver – a seasoned carbon steel pan.

20 years ago, I had an old cast iron pan that I loved and lent to Rain for our Bachelor Cooking series.

That was the last time I ever saw it.

A few years later, I picked up these two enameled cast iron pans and generally use those for steaks and burgers.

They are buttery smooth to cook with – I’m exceedingly proud of the season that I’ve gotten on then.

Look at that black glossy sheen on these pans – they are incredibly non-stick.

But I was intrigued with Steel’s super lightweight carbon steel pan.

Me: How do I use it?
Him: (shrugging) Just like cast-iron. You wash it after every use with salt and hot water, apply some oil, wipe it down, and put it away.

The idea of using a pan that’s naturally non-stick, but doesn’t weigh a ton like my cast-iron, really got me.

I just cooked eggs with it so excuse the messy stove.

To this end, I picked up my own lightweight carbon steel pan and have been using that regularly.

The above is what it looked like day 1 after I cooked once with it and then gave it a quick scrub.

And below is after at least six-seasonings and daily cooking; I’m proud to say that it’s pretty much the same level of non-stick as my original daily driver, above.

Because it’s carbon steel and not cast iron, it’s far less porous than cast iron and I can’t seem to get the seasoning to look even like it does on the cast iron.

But, looks aside, it’s just as non-stick as my old regular cooking pan and I know that there’s nuthin there but steel and oil.

What I love the most about it is that it should last forever and I can give it to the kid someday.

Here’s hoping he’ll be as nerdy about these kinda things as I am.

Her: …guess his name!
Me: I don’t think…
Her: It’s the best name for a chef. Are you ready? His name was…Chef…Bacon!
Me: (amused) That is a good name. The next best name? Chef Cured Meats.
Her: Or Chef Spiral Ham?
Me: We can stop this now.
Her: (claps and rubs hands together) I’m just getting started.

OK, maybe I shouldn’t hope for that.

Location: W 72nd and Broadway, watching the kid cross the street by himself
Mood: super anxious
Music: My sugar’s the sweetest around. (Spotify)
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Birthdays at Sappe

Not spicy at all

Met up with my college buddies the other night for Cappy and Gar’s birthday.

We’ve been getting together every February to celebrate Gar and Cappy’s birthday since…well, since a few years after we graduated college, way back in 1996 or so.

The first time I mentioned us meeting was back in 2007 in this entry.

Back then, everyone didn’t have a camera with them 24/7 and I also wasn’t sure how much of my life I’d be blogging about.

Some 18 years later, I’m obviously blogging a lot more.

This year, we met up at a joint called Sappe downtown.

Despite a massive snowstorm that night, the place was packed…

…the drinks were killer…

…as was the food.

What’s odd was that the single spiciest thing we ate was this strawberry fruit salad.

Think I ate the most, about six strawberries. And then I was done – my mouth was on fire.

This is saying a lot as about half the table was Korean and they’re no strangers to spicy food.

The rest of the food was spicy but not obscenely so.

Well…

Her: will you try it first? It looks good but I can’t handle much spice.
Me: Sure! (later) It’s not spicy at all.
Her: (takes bite, instant red face) OMG! Are you trying to kill me?? That’s soooooo spicy!
Me: What?! There’s no spice to it. (takes another bite and starts to cough) OMG…I just got a pepper. That is so spicy!
Her: I told you!

Also, chatted up a fella that was there with a whole crew of people celebrating their friend Eli’s 30th – they all wore the same shirt.

Eli has quality friends.

Afterward, we hit up a bar close to the restaurant…

…but had to bolt a bit early because the snow was seriously coming down.

All-in-all, it was a great night. Saw my friends and hung out with my girl.

Not a bad way to start off the new year.

Location: the dentist’s, telling him he’ll be ok
Mood: exhausted
Music: all I want – I promise that it’s not a lie – is to be your friend (Spotify)
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Another Love Cover

Japanese BBQ in the UWS

The kid had his second recital the other day and played Tom Odell’s Another Love.

This is him playing in his first, if you never saw it.

I’d never heard of the song before and there’s on expletive in the original, but he really wanted to play it and his music teacher felt it was a good choice.

So, I let him do it.

Think it turned out pretty well, actually.

Afterward, we ended up having dinner at the same joint that the Firecracker and I went to a year-and-a-half ago.

And, we ended up going with the same family we went with the last time, except that they also brought a family friend along – who just happened to be Japanese.

Me: (to my friend) You could have mentioned that she was Japanese! That’s like me bringing a Scottish person to McDonalds and calling it Scottish food.
Her: (laughing) It’s fine! Actually, this food is pretty good Japanese food.
Me: You’re being nice, but I’ll take it.

The woman actually spoke perfect English; I woulda thought she was from NYC if she didn’t say that she was originally from Tokyo and lived there still.

We got onto the topic of alla useless facts rattling around in my head.

Her: Like what?
Me: Well, I see you’re wearing a Columbia jacket. That company was founded by this German family that fled the Nazis and left behind their successful clothing company. When they got here, the found someone selling a clothing company, immediately bought it, and renamed it after the Columbia River.
Her: (laughing) How do you know all that?
Me: I have no idea.

This is true.

The vast majority of facts I know are (a) useless and (b) of completely unknown origins.

Somehow, these interesting stories stick around in my brain.

And now, maybe it’ll stick in yours?

Location: Early morning, upstairs, trying to replace a shower door
Mood: groggy
Music: Words, they always win, but I know I’ll lose (Spotify)
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Hot Pot and Seafood Around the Way

At the Mermaid Inn

It’s been brutally cold around here lately so, recently, we did what most Asian families traditionally did when it’s completely brick outside: We had hot pot.

It was good because we wanted to a dry run at home before we did it at my friends-around-the-way‘s pad, because one of their sons is both really into cooking and also really into hot pot so we said we’d head to theirs and have a little hot pot cookout.

On that note, they contacted us the other day because they wanted to take us out for our engagement as well.

Her: Can we take you and Firecracker out to celebrate?
Me: Hola! That’s such a generous offer – I feel like it’d be cheeky for me to accept. But we’re definitely still down to do hot pot by yours; let me check those dates with her and see what works best for everyone?
Her: Not cheeky!

So, the other day, we took them up on their offer and met them at a restaurant around us called The Mermaid Inn.

The restaurant had been a few blocks north of us, originally, and closed during COVID only to reopen at a bigger space closer to our pad.

It was a pretty fun evening where we discussed politics…

Me: I’m avoiding all news and probably will for the next four years.
Him: Smart.
Me: I figure half of America lives in complete ignorance so why shouldn’t I?

…real estate…

Her: You know, [at our summer home’s town] Dutch Schultz‘s farmhouse is up for sale.
Me: How much?
Her: $4.5 million?
Me: No kidding? I have that on me right now.

…and just life in general.

They ended up ordering dessert, as did the Firecracker – Key Lime Pie.

Her: You’re not getting anything?
Me: I’ll just share some of yours and I’ll get myself a White Russian.
Her: As dessert again?
Me: Yup, an alcoholic dessert. Can’t really go wrong there.

You really can’t.

Afterward, we went back to their place, met their new dog, and then checked out the outdoor space.

Her: You could have the reception for your wedding here!
Me: We might actually take you up on that!

I’ll keep you all posted.

Location: in front of my oven, re-seasoning a carbon steel pan
Mood: annoyed
Music: Words, they always win, but I know I’ll lose (Spotify)
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A Dog-Man

In the blink of an eye

I live just north of one of the few megaplexes left in New York City, which means that I have a chance to check out a lotta movie premiers – except that I’m not a huge movie theatre buff.

There’s something about being in a dark, loud, enclosed space that stresses me out.

So, I only go if there’s a particularly good reason to do so – like when the Firecracker and I got invited to the premier of Gladiator II.

But my sister told me about a premier for the first Dogman film, which is a super popular book series for kids.

So, I managed to snag four tickets for the kids, the Firecracker, and myself.

It also included a picture taken with the author, a signed copy of his latest book in hardcover, a drink, and popcorn.

It was pretty much a perfect event for the kids.

But not so much for me.

That is, until I had a chat with an old college friend that just happened to be in the neighborhood at the same time of the movie.

Him: Hey, I’m in the UWS around 6:30. Around and available for a meal?
Me: Ack, normally yes but I’m bringing the boys to a movie tonight, literally the first time ever. Raincheck?
Him: No worries, raincheck for sure – what movie?
Me: Dogman. Don’t even ask. I’m not thrilled about it.
Him: Oh, Dogman is good choice! Now that [my son] is 13 and having dinner with his friends, I’d give anything to watch a movie with him.
Me: Oh man, that’s a good point. Yeah, I should be better about things like this.
Him: Yeah. Never thought I’d say it – [they grow up in the] blink of an eye.

So, after the kid’s guitar lesson, I went to the local Japanese takeout restaurant, picked up some Karaage Onigiri and Spam Onigiri for everyone, and off we went.

It was a madhouse.

But organizers were really cool and great with alla the kids.

And the author was just a prince. He tooks pics with literally every single kid that asked…

…signed hundreds of books and even gave a little speech in the beginning of the film.

Although, one of the more interesting conversations was with one of the fellas managing the concession storage closet.

Him: …on Mondays. And then we get two more shipments that same week.
Me: You’re kidding me – you sell outta alla these every 2-3 days?
Him: Yup.
Me: This is a closet of diabetes.
Him: (laughs, nods)

The movie itself was tolerable for a 51-year-old Chinese man, but the kids absolutely loved it.

Highly recommended for them.

Like I said, it was the first movie I’d ever taken the kid to in a theatre.

Hopefully, he has some fond memories of it all.

Me: What was your favourite part?
Him: Everything!

Location: Grey’s Papaya, wondering if I should do it
Mood: regretting not having a hot dog
Music: You’re the movie in my mind to which I know every line (Spotify)
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First Chinese New Year Dinner

In the blink of an eye

Chinese New Year is probably the most important holiday for the Chinese.

I’d wanted to go see my mom that night, but I wasn’t able to for various reasons.

But I’d mentioned to the Firecracker how important it was, and she said we should just do a celebration here.

Her: What are we gonna have?
Me: Well, traditionally, you’re supposed to have: (a) A whole fish, (b) noodles, (c) dumplings, and (d) oranges – among other things.
Her: Wait, a whole fish? Like, with the head?
Me: Yup! It’ll be great.
Her: (hesitant)
Me: Food should look like food, baby. 

Legit, Americans eat so much processed food that real food looks weird to them.

Once met a woman that wouldn’t eat fried chicken because it looked too much like the animal it came from.

That relationship didn’t last long.

In any case, because there’s a new Korean supermarket near my pad now, most of what I needed was pretty easy to get.

Plus, I had just made some chicken stock the other day when I was making White Cut Chicken for everyone so that saved a lotta work.

The kids mainly liked the noodles and the store-bought dumplings, but I was just happy they enjoyed it.

The red envelopes were the biggest hits, I suppose.

Him: Two-dollar bills!?! What are those worth?
Me: Hmmm…two dollars?

Here’s hoping we’ll get to do this for a while.

If you wanna make white cut chicken, which is essentially a very gently poached chicken, try this recipe here.

It’s pretty foolproof and what my parents used to make us kids literally once a week while we were growing up.

@177milkstreet Perfect chicken is a joyous, lifelong pursuit, and there are many paths to success. Start at Chinese white-cooked chicken, which appeared in the very first issue of our magazine. Chris Kimball deems it “idiot-proof” (for this is social, after all, and we gotta get the views), but it really is a must-learn fundamental in your change the way you cook repertoire. Get the recipe for Chinese White-Cooked Chicken with Ginger-Soy Dressing via the link in our profile → @177milkstreet #milkstreetrecipe #poachedchicken #chickenrecipe #dinner #dinnerrecipe #easyrecipe #chicken #cooking ♬ original sound – Milk Street

Location: earlier tonight, a Japanese BBQ after the kid’s recital
Mood: frozen again
Music: you know I care but it’s so cold (Spotify)
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Not everybody

Two good samaratins pulling a guy off the tracks at Times Square the other day.

Joan Murray survived a 14,500 Foot Fall

Last year, I saw a guy fall into the tracks at Times Square.

Two fellas immediately hopped into the tracks to save him, which I thought was pretty admirable.

But whenever I see something like that, I think of an old joke that goes something like this:

A songbird was flying one winter day when it got so cold that he dropped right outta the clear blue sky onto a farm.

The bird lay there helpless and injured until a horse walked by and, not noticing the small bird, dropped a huge steaming pile of hot poop on him.

The poop, however, was warm and made the bird feel much better – so much better, in fact, that he started to sing. But then a cat heard him sing, found him, and dug him out.

The bird was happy to be outta the poop, but the cat didn’t give him a chance to thank him because the cat gobbled him up and went on with his day.

There are three (shitty) morals to his story:

    1. Not everybody who shits on you is your enemy.
    2. Not everybody who digs you outta shit is your friend.
    3. When you’re in deep shit, shut up.
This is a picture of when a bird pooped on the Firecracker – which happens with alarming regularity.

Now, there’s actually a real life version of this joke about a woman named Joan Murray who survived a 14,500 foot fall, which is almost three miles of free fall straight down.

See, she was sky diving and BOTH her parachutes failed.

Normally, this would be just a death sentence, but she ended up crashing into a huge ant hill – but not just any ant hill, a fire ant anthill.

If you don’t know what a fire ant is, it’s a venomous ant that can these intensely painful stings.

Normally, if you fell onto a fire ant hill, that would be at the very least, an incredibly painful experience – most likely you’d end up in the hospital.

In Joan’s case, however, the softness of the mound coupled with the intense pain of the venom kept her alive with the former softening her impact and the latter keeping her heart beating.

She ended up in a coma with shattered bones on the right side of her body and a few lost teeth, which required 20 reconstructive surgeries, 17 blood transfusions, a metal rod into her right leg, and 5-inch spikes grafted onto into her pelvis.

But she survived.

And she survived precisely because these fire ants were trying to kill her.

Joan actually died in 2022, 23 years after her accident, of cancer (unfortunately – fucking cancer…) with nary a parachute nor fire ant in sight.

(c) Unilad

I’m telling you this story because I see how the kid sees the world: In simple terms of black and white.

Children and the stupid see things so simply binary.

It’s difficult for me to figure out how to explain these subtle nuances in the world, especially in light of world events, to him and, well, generally stupid people, who are uncomfortable with grey.

Soupy grey is never appealing, but it’s still more realistic than stark black-and-white.

Him: If Donald Trump lies all the time, how did he become president?
Me: (whistling) Hoo-boy. That’s gonna take a little while to explain. Not now though.

Location: downright balmy 40+ degree NYC
Mood: not completely frozen
Music: it’s your heart, it’s alive, it’s pumping blood (Spotify)
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