Category: personal

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personal

Putting it off

Three sammies and Pyrat rum

Dropped off the kid with my in-laws the other day.

We have all of these traditions now that I love and am so grateful for, like his going to Alison’s family for a few weeks every summer.

But it doesn’t make me miss him any less.

Me: He cooked for the first time the other day.
MIL: What do you mean, the first time? He’s been cooking eggs here for a while now. You said he was cooking them at home!
Me: He was only mixing and seasoning them – I wanted to ease him into it.
Her: (laughing) Oh, he’s been cooking here for a while.

Dammit!

Having said that, I use the time I’ve got to do all the things I need to do but have been putting off because I’m either too busy with the kid or it’s unsafe to do around him.

To this end, I asked the Firecracker to help me out over the weekend and – like the amazing partner she is – she readily agreed.

But, on the day we were supposed to begin, we put it off for another day because the weather was so nice.

See, it’s been ridic hot around here, even before summer officially began.

This is what the heat wave did to my plants.

Was super bummed because they were all (finally) doing so well and then the heat just cooked them.

So, to take my mind offa all that – and to enjoy the much cooler sunny day – we met up with the Firecracker’s sister and BIL at a bar.

We stayed for a spell and then, because we were close to Tiki Chick and I can never resist their chix sammies, I picked up a buncha them for us and then headed back to theirs.

Her: You bought three sandwiches for yourself?
Me: Evidently.

Afterwards, we showed them how to play 鋤大弟/Big Two. and then promptly lost to her BIL.

Dammit!

But it was a fun night.

And they had Pyrat rum on the rocks for me, which is always good.

Him: What are you two gonna do tonight?
Me: Probably binge Andor.
Him: Oh, it is good. We just haven’t gotten around to finishing it.

If you’ve not seen it, it’s excellent.

Rain told me that he felt it was one of the best written shows, period – with or without the Star Wars part.

Worth a watch, but that’s neither here nor there.

Location: my desk, with just under gigabit speeds on my computers
Mood: super bummed
Music: It’s not like everybody knows but you (Spotify)
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The kid cooked for the first time

Challenge accepted

Me: (tapping her shoulder) Hey, if you’re going to the market tomorrow, could you pick up some edamame?
Her: (irritated) Did you just wake me up to tell me to buy edamame?
Me: I thought you were awake!
Her: (goes back to sleep) Your food obsession can be…problematic.

While we were at the Surgeon’s the other night, Steel mentioned that his son – who’s a year younger than my own kid – has been cooking since he was old enough to stand.

He didn’t make these eggs, I did. But I’m starting him easy with scrambled eggs first.

See, Steel may be one of the only people that think about food just as much, if not more (!) than I do, the only other person I can think of being Bryson.

In any case, I’d been having my son beat eggs for the past several months so, the other, I upped the ante and had him make scrambled eggs for himself for the first time.

Him: I don’t think it looks that good.
Me: Are you kidding? For your first attempt, it looks great!
Him Really?! (after trying it) It tastes pretty good.
Me: And, at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing.

Unfortunately, then we had a heat wave come in.

Which meant that it was waaay too hot for him to safely cook.

It’s been disappointing for a number of reasons, not just that.

For example, I had planted some flowers outside my apartment and – after weeks/months of waiting – I had some blooms!

Was super excited.

But then the heat wave killed ALL my plants.

I’ll take some pics next time, I’m too annoyed ATM to do it now.

At least it’s a good excuse to drink ice cold beer.

Location: a train at Newark Penn Station, missing the kid
Mood: yearning
Music: I want it for infinity – let’s go, and never stop (Spotify)
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Four more events

Overscheduled

I may have overscheduled the last weekend of the school year.

For Friday, was supposed to meet up with some of the other fathers for drinks but ended up just having the kid’s good friend and his parents come by for some wine and the card game 鋤大弟 – which is also called Big Two.

The game was a hit with the other parents, and we ended up playing 18 rounds, I think (!!).

Kid: Can [my friend] stay over for a sleepover?
Friend: Please?!
Me: It’s not really up to just me, but sure.

The other parents relented so my kid, the Firecracker’s kid, and the friend had a sleepover, which I think is pretty darn cute.

The next day, my sister stopped by briefly with her two kids – it was nice catching up, however briefly.

Then, later on that night, we went to the Surgeon’s pad along with Steel and his family.

No mezcal – thank goodness – but we had some absolutely killer drinks.

For example, here’s a sour raspberry beer that was pretty great.

I made some dumplings as well, plus the kids had pizza.

The thing about old friends is that there are literally decades worth of stuff to chat about.

Me: What I remember most about your wedding was the table of lobsters.
Him: I remember you and Alison driving by in a pedicab while we were taking pictures.
Me: The thing about Steel is that he knows me so well that he took time outta his own wedding to warn me that the lobsters were just the appetizers. That’s a real friend there.

Then, the very next day, we all went to see my SIL in Hoboken…

…for some swimming.

Afterwards, we’d been eating pretty poorly all week because of alla the school events so I insisted that we all had salads, which went over pretty well.

We also got to play Codenames with the kiddos, which was actually quite fun.

There’s actually a lot more that happened but this entry’s getting long so I’ll just wrap it all up here.

If you’re at all interested in learning how to play 鋤大弟/Big Two, watch this video, above.

Location: my apartment, trying not to melt, on the hottest day in six year
Mood: melting nonetheless
Music: I’m tired from the things I haven’t done, saving up just to retire (Spotify)
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Another school year almost over

Still showing up

Him: Are you sure you’re gonna come?
Me: I haven’t missed one yet, have I?
Him: No…I just wanted to make sure.

It’s been super busy here for a multitude of reasons, least of which is that the kid is winding up his school year.

This means that there’s one event after another, of varying degrees of entertainment.

The first was his end of year recital, where he played a cover of Billie Eilish’s Lovely on the guitar.

I should mention that the Firecracker’s never missed a single one – which is something considering that not all the kids were as talented as mine.

She’s the best, truly.

As for the song he chose, I’d never heard the song before and it was pretty maudlin, which was a bit concerning.

But, he did a great job and was pretty jazzed about it, so I just enjoyed it for what it was worth.

The next was his dance recital, which was absolutely adorbs.

I couldn’t get a good clean shot for video, but another parent was able to get some vids of them dancing.

Another one was the kid’s last publishing party, where the parents come in and check out all the artistic stuff that the kids were working on for the past few months.

I brought a huge jug of Dunkin coffee; several of the other parents brought a ton of delish looking carbs.

I’m proud to say that I didn’t have any but, man, did I want to.

In any case, with the portfolio of work due in just over a week, it’s been stressful around here.

Really didn’t have the 2-3 hours to spare this morning on top of the previous two events I went to.

But I told you once that it’s so important for little kids to have their parents show up to things. And there’s no “parents” here, it’s just me.

So, I showed up.

Gotta say, it was sweet to see him so happy to see me in the classroom.

There were another three or four events that were also end-of-year related but I’ll tell you about those in the next entry.

Location: Hoboken, playing Codenames and dreaming of more food
Mood: hot and bothered
Music: Always in my head space but I know some day I’ll make it out of here (Spotify)
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Rando pictures 1

Clearing out the backlog

That project of mine is just kicking my butt so no real entry except for rando pictures that I’ve been meaning to put up, but I just didn’t have a reason to.

Just as good a reason as any to clear out the backlog, I suppose.

Like, I didn’t know what to do with this picture from the Matchbox 20 concert we went to.

Or this one, which was just outside of the concert venue.

And I cannot tell you how many rando pics of food…

…and drink…

…that I have.

Seriously, so many.

To say nuthin of all the rando videos I have here and there as well.

Seriously, though, I’ll put up a proper post once I’m done with this @!#$%!! project of mine.

Any day now…

Location: my desk, working, with a back brace. Fun times.
Mood: So. Busy.
Music: I took my turn, oh, what a thing to have done (Spotify)
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Drinks at the Hotel Chelsea

Old friends come to visit

Him: Hey Logan! I’m in town for work again. I’m with distillery and distributor partners but if you wanted to join us for a drink, let me know.
Me: Where and when!?

The Firecracker and I have a strange little artifact from when we were younger.

She met one of her oldest friends online via a chatroom while I have a solid amount of friends that I still keep from my Livejournal days – I’ve literally got too many to mention.

That’s the kinda stuff I don’t think is really all that common anymore.

Anywho, one such friend is my buddy Paul N, not to be confused with my old drinking buddy Paul.

The last time I saw him was back in 2018, when I visited my brother and met up with him as well.

When we first “met” online, he was a marketing guy and a wannabe writer whereas I was a lawyer and a wannabe writer.

But since then, he launched the award-winning – seriously award-winning, check out all the awards below – Japanese spirit Nankai Shochu.

So, he’s now the owner of a liquor company with staff and inventory, jetting around the world, hustling to get his premium hooch all over the place.

I’m still just a lawyer and wannabe writer but that’s neither here nor there.

He was in town so the Firecracker and I went down to the Hotel Chelsea – a joint I’ve walked past a million times but never went in – and met up with him and some of his work colleagues.

There was a huge line and waiting list to get into the private sitting area but one of his friends, the lady in orange below, is a bit of celebrity bartender and she managed to float us all in.

Me: Killer! See, this is what you pay for – not having people on top of you.
Firecracker: And quiet, I swear, every bar in the city is a sports bar.

There’s nothing quite like ordering drinks with people that spend their lives thinking about and working with drinks.

I told Paul’s bartender friend to just order me rum drinks she enjoyed, and she did. They were all delish.

Now, his particular brand of shochu is very similar to rum, something I’ve pointed out to him numerous times.

This time, however, he told me that he was launching a rhum agricole, something I’ve never particularly liked.

Him: Just try it. It’s very different from other types of that rum. Our distiller is a mad scientist. (pours me some, surreptitiously)
Me: (trying it) Whoa, that’s the best one I’ve ever had.

That wasn’t a lie.

Normally, you can’t drink rhum agricole neat but this one I could definitely see myself sipping in the future.

Me: On that note, have I ever told you my rum story?
Him: You may have, tell it again and I’ll tell you if I heard it before.
Me: OK, so the story of rum is really the story of us…

It was definitely a fun night…

Him: You know what Korean (Americans) do when they’re drunk?
Me: No…?
Him: They argue about who’s more Korean. So, one night, Jo and Man…

…and, afterward, they went off to another bar.

But the Firecracker and I are on full-time parenting duties as the school year winds down.

So, we made our goodbyes and our way home.

Her: You always have such nice friends.
Me: I know. It’s a wonder why they chose to hang out with a fella like me. (later) It’s always nice when old friends come by for a visit.

Location: in front of my computer, all damn day
Mood: groggy
Music: I don’t want to be the villain all the time (Spotify)
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As fine a legacy

The richest people

I’m 26 in that picture above. Half my current age.

When Alison was here, I used to do most of the cooking. And with the Firecracker, I cook most dinners.

It’s because Alison and The Firecracker both preferred cleaning to cooking.

But there are so many dishes that I wish I coulda made for everyone, but I just don’t have the recipe.

Me: I wish I wrote down some of my dad’s recipes. But I was so fucked up at the time.
Firecracker: You did the best you could with what you had. And just leave it at that.
Me: Thanks for saying that.
Her: Anytime. And it’s true.

My kid let me sleep in – like, seriously, sleep in – for Father’s Day, which I really appreciated.

It gave me time to just stay in bed and think about my dad.

I mention him a lot in this blog, but I wanted to share another story to give you some idea of what he was all about.

When I was a kid, I rarely saw him. He was out the door to job number 1 before I woke up for school, which meant that he was already up, dressed, and ready for the day by 7AM.

And I was usually in bed by 9PM but I didn’t see him because he went to school at night to try to better himself.

This left my mom home to cook and clean for us. We were poor so we almost never ate out or had take out anything.

She cooked 3-4 meals a day, because she also had to cook something for my dad at the crack of dawn.

When my dad retired, decades later, my mom was working. And he told her that she would never have to cook again.

He explained it to me once.

Him: Your mom stayed home to take care of the house so that I could work and make money for us. I told her that, because I have time now, I’ll do all the cooking and cleaning now while she’s working because it’s only fair.

And he did.

For at least the last decade-and-a-half of his life, he cooked every single meal he could for her.

He also wouldn’t let her clean up afterward.

That was the deal.

This was taken in 2002, 23 years ago when my life was so very different.

That’s who my dad was; he was a feminist and a liberal in many ways, without ever saying either word in his lifetime, I don’t think.

He just was madly in love with my mom, I think. And he innately believed in fairness.

He wasn’t without his faults, just like the rest of us, but when it came to his wife and family, he was the kinda guy we all wish we could be.

I miss his terribly, on this Father’s Day and every day.

I hope that what he gave me, I can give the kid so that the kid can give it to his family.

Suppose that’s as fine a legacy as anything.

Location: the couch, with the kid, watching Charlie Brown
Mood: nostalgic
Music: you wouldn’t have to say (Spotify)
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Back to 2010

Being productive

Him: It’s funny that you just saw a nun the other day. I saw one the other day in an argument with someone over something.
Me: No kidding.
Him: Yeah, she kept it clean but was really tearing into the guy.
Me: Sounds like someone needs to get some.

Took on a large portfolio of work the other day.

It was far more complex than I’d anticipated but a deal’s a deal so there wasn’t much for me to do but just try to get it all done.

Part of it meant that I had to spend a day in Brooklyn, so I drove the Firecracker to her new office (they just moved offices), which was a treat for both of us.

Her: It feels so luxurious to be driven to work by a hot guy.
Me: Hey, I’m driving you!

And I did manage to sneak out for a few hours to meet up with the Firecracker and her friend who let us crash at her pad in Vienna.

But I couldn’t stay for long because the deadline for alla this work is rushing towards me faster than I can type.

Then again, it’s nice being productive in a manner unrelated to raising the kid.

It’s like I’m back to 2010 again, before…everything.

Location: up to my eyeballs in bills and paperwork
Mood: busier than a one-armed coat hanger
Music: we should ride by slow (Spotify)
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Tribute

Its name is *not* “Bear”

Him: What is it, papa?
Me: You tell me.
Him: It’s a bear! A little bear.
Me: Actually…


A song I’ve always enjoyed was Tribute by Tenacious D.

If you don’t know the conceit of the song, essentially the lyrics tell a story about the band meeting a demon that demands that the two play the best song in the world—or risk losing their souls.

So, Tenacious D improvises a tune that is so good that – miraculously – the demon’s defeated.

Unfortunately, however, they later forget how it went, leaving only a pale shadow memory of that legendary performance, which they call Tribute as it’s merely a tribute to a much better song.

Now, did you know that the word “bear” isn’t the word for the animal?

The animals we call “bears,” were such a horror to Europeans, they would never say the actual name of the animal, only calling it names like “The Honey Eater,” “The Destroyer,” or – and I love this – “The Brown One,” or…”Bear.”

And guess what they never wrote down?

The actual name of the animal they called, “The Brown One,” out of fear that it would be summoned when it heard its name.

So, when you call something a “bear,” you’re not actually calling it the name that those people who coined the word actually called the animal, you’re calling it the codeword of that name.

It’s a tribute to the actual name of the animal.

My point is that there are so many things that we think we know that aren’t actually what we think they are, like penguins and bananas.

Her: Your son was really nice to my daughter, tell him thanks. You and your wife are doing a great job raising him.
Me: Oh, that…she’s my fiance. My wife died not soon after he was born.
Her: (shocked) Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I…
Me: (interrupting) It’s ok. We don’t need to dwell on it.

I think I’m doing an ok job raising the kid mainly on my own, with help from my family, Alison’s family, and the Firecracker.

But, in the end, how I’m able to raise him is all just a tribute to the life he coulda had if things were different and Alison and my dad were still here.

It’s not the actual life I wanted for him but – if he’s a good, happy, and healthy kid – I think it’ll be good enough.

Well, that’s the hope, anywho.

His life is my tribute to her and my dad.

So, here’s hoping it’s an amazing one.

Location: my kitchen, quickly cooking dinner so I can get back to work
Mood: like college-finals-level busy
Music: You gotta believe it – and I wish you were there! (Spotify)
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The Island of Statens

All over the joint

It’s been about 11 years since I spent any serious time in Staten Island.

The last time I went, it was for Paul’s wedding, I was 41, and I looked like this:

Logan Lo and a buddy on the Staten Island ferry

Think I look roughly the same but that could just be me.

Now, outta the five boroughs that make up New York City, Staten Island’s the weirdest one as it’s cut off from the rest of the city’s subway system.

Instead, you have to take a ferry there, which isn’t terrible – if the weather cooperates.

In any case, the other day, I had to meet up with a client there so, right after I dropped off the kid, I took the train downtown to catch the ferry.

At the base of the ferry is The National Shrine of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, and it was the first time I’d ever seen a nun leave or enter it.

But I didn’t have much time to gawk as I had to make my appointment.

Here’s a time-lapse video of the ferry docking at the Staten Island side.

The meeting lasted hours – as did the work – but he’s a nice fella so it wasn’t terrible.

And it was interesting being there again. When I was in my 20s, I dated a doctor from there for a spell.

Seems like a million lifetimes ago.

In any case, was all over the joint doing work, before I wrapped up and dashed back to the ferry station to be in time to get the kid.

Was completely exhausted.

But the view woke me up.

Honestly, there’s little like the view of Manhattan from the water.

Although Govenors Island isn’t too shabby…

…neither is Brooklyn.

But, like I just said, there’s really no place like Manhattan, though.

At least, for me.

Location: up to my eyeballs in bills and paperwork
Mood: busier than a one-armed coat hanger
Music: we should get together – ride baby, ride (Spotify)
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