Tag: stupid

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personal

Logan with a ‘stache

Tom Sellecking my way through life

Firecracker: Someone at work thought I just graduated from high school.
Me: High school?! That was a really, really, really long time ago.
Her: (icily) One “really” is sufficient, Logan.
Me: (nodding) Noted.

The Firecracker’s been coming with me to kali class here and there.

She’s never done any type of martial art before so it’s a whole new world for her.

But the fact that the Frenchman and his wife go, and the people are so nice, she fell right into it.

Unfortunately, because of my herniated disk and because my wrist is still bothering me, I’ve only been able to do it at far less than maximum ability.

A few weeks back, we started up with some sparring, which I had to do with my left hand because my right wrist was so bad.

This week, my back was still rough but my wrist felt better so I took a chance and sparred.

That was a mistake.

My buddy Prin – who’s also a doctor – got a clean hit right in my face.

The Firecracker, who has never seen this level of violence close up, was pretty worried about me.

However, since I’ve had:

    • two broken ribs
    • at least seven broken fingers
    • at least four cracked teeth
    • a torn ACL replaced with a cadaver ACL
    • herniated disk
    • countless cuts and wounds

This was pretty much another day in the gym.

Except…

Firecracker: But you have a Scenic Fights shoot in two days on Sunday.
Me: Oh, shit!
Boy: Daddy!

OK, that part wasn’t good.

My producer ended up cancelling alla my shoots for that day, which I felt terrible about, so I tried to think of ways to make it up to him.

But that’s a completely different story altogether.

Prin also felt terrible, but it really wasn’t his fault as I had a herniated disk and messed up wrist still so I shoulda just said no to sparring.

I keep forgetting that I’m 51.

On a related note, I spent the next few days trying to keep the cut clean and not get infected.

To this end, I’ve been rocking a Magnum PI porno ‘stache.

Not everyone is a fan.

Firecracker: (laughing hysterically) I can’t…I can’t…
Me: (sniffing) Your jealousy is palpable.
Her: (continues to laugh uncontrollably) I can’t breathe…

Location: back at the gym for the first time in a week
Mood: Tom Selleck-y
Music: I’ve caught all the scars and turned them into stars (Spotify)
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personal

One of the more annoying

But wait…there’s more

Holy. Cow.

Man, did I have an annoying past coupla days – where to begin?

I have a metal gate, which leads to two blue metal doors that then lead to my apartment.

Used to paint them every few years but the last time I painted them was a decade ago in 2014 for reasons I’m sure you can guess.

All three were getting pretty worn and rusty so, I decided to paint them with the help of my buddy Wally.

He actually did the heavy lifting and took off the rust and some of the flaking paint and we both painted.

Initially, I just wanted to paint the clearly rusted and chipped areas.

To this end, I got paint mixed that matched the paint on my doors and gate.

This isn’t my pad, it was actually Teddy Roosevelt’s but that’s essentially the same as my pad.

Unfortunately, because of sunlight hitting different areas of the doors and gates, the colours were all off.

It looked worse after painting because all the colours were all slightly off – so then we had to paint EVERYTHING.

So, the small project went from two hours to…four days.

The Firecracker ended up having to help out for several hours across two days.

It gets worse though.

Teddy’s pad again – you can visit yourself when you come to NYC by heading to 28 East 20th Street, NYC.

While painting the gate, I had to remove the lock and I found out that two screws rusted through, which meant that that I had to manually remove them with pliers.

That took over an hour as I went a 1/4 turn each time for these 3.5 inch screws.

Then, when I brought them to the hardware store, the guy told me.

Him: Those are specialized screws. We don’t carry them here; you gotta go to a locksmith.
Me: Goddammit.

So, off I went to find one but then he said.

Him: We don’t have these screws, you have to buy the whole lock again.
Me: Goddammit! How much is that?
Him: $80.
Me: Jesus Christ!

Ended up buying it online for $45. For two screws.

It took two days to get to me, so we had to find different – and novel – ways to lock the gate for those two nights.

Because I was worried about the kid, didn’t sleep a wink.

Not my apartment nor my gate – just a pic of a street in NYC. But that is the type of garbage cans we’re required to have moving forward.

But wait…there’s more!

In the middle of alla this, Wally tried to install a garbage disposal for me AND – because I run the building – I also had to replace alla the garbage cans for the building.

Welp, the replacement garbage cans never arrived and Wally didn’t get it all right the first time (which is no real fault of his own) which meant that we ended up getting water everywhere and had to dismantle the whole thing.

The garbage and garbage disposal are much more involved stories, which I’ll save for the next entry, but it meant that for three days:

    • I had no locks on my door.
    • No working kitchen sink.
      • This meant that the kid and I had to eat out for every single meal for two days.
    • Paint and plumbing supplies everywhere.
    • Garbage and garbage bags everywhere.
    • No garbage cans for myself or anyone in my building.

To say that I was irritated is the same as saying that water’s wet.

I’ll wrap this up in the next entry.

I need a drink.

Location: early this morning, the courthouse, telling someone she’s an awful person for cutting the line
Mood: So. Irritated. Man.
Music: gonna build castles from the rubble (Spotify)
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personal

Run-of-the-mill Calamities

Everything keeps breaking down

I was rolling with my buddy Cruise the other day when I felt this sharp pain in my left foot and looked down, horrified to see my middle toe bent 90 degrees…in the wrong direction.

Holy shit! I said.

I’d put that pain at a solid 5, if 1 was nuthin and 10 was the worse pain in my life.

Without even thinking, I reached over and yanked it back into place, which shot my pain level up to a 10 but only for a second before it dropped down to a managable 2.

So, this whole week, I’ve been hobbling around with my toes taped up.

But it’s not just me, the kid’s been dealing with his own foot pain lately.

We went to an indoor gym the other day – something I’ll tell you about later – and he spent hours running around the place.

Figure he musta gotten a blister from all the activities so we were both hobbling around for a bit.

On a larger level, things in the building have been a mess too.

Things keeps breaking around the building so I gotta find people to come in and fix them.

To make matters worse, the hot water for the whole building completely stopped for some reason.

Only after the plumbers arrived did we figure out that it was the boiler’s mixing valve – which mixes the 212-degree water with city tap water to get hot water for our building – that called it quits.

After a full day of waiting around and some five hours of work, we finally had hot water again.

The kid helped out too, since I had to be in the basement, he was the one that measured the temps for us in the bathroom.

Him: It’s 130 degrees, dad!
Me: That’s too much, lemme know when it’s less.
Him: (two minutes later) It’s 129 degrees now!
Me: (laughing) OK, that’s only marginally helpful, kid. I meant like 120 or less?
Him: Oh, you shoulda said that.
Me: Fair. That’s on me.

On a macro level, the manhole cover a few blocks south of my pad blew off completely because of some fire under Amsterdam Avenue.

Smoke and firemen were everywhere.

Now, this happened just south of the Jewish Community Center (JCC) and everyone just heard this loud but muffled BOOM.

I’m pretty certain I’m not the only person that thought the worst.

But it wasn’t terrorism, just the run-of-the-mill calamities that NYC always has.

Which, in this day and age, is probably the best we can hope for.

Location: earlier, at a Halloween party that we’ve been going to for the past four years now
Mood: not salty
Music: hold onto me, cause I’m a little unsteady (Spotify)

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personal

The Logan Lowest thing

Venus and Flowers

Her: Out of all the Logan Lo things about you, this has got to be the Logan Lowest thing.
Me: It was from the neck up!

This isn’t the actual picture I sent in, but you get the idea.

Had to send in a selfie really urgently to try to secure this trip I have planned for me and the kid so I just snapped one and sent it in while it was top of mind.

Unfortunately, it was when I was already in bed and I wasn’t wearing a shirt – I do note that the picture was mainly from the neck up.

BUT it got flagged and rejected so I had to redo it or lose a chance to get a really affordable trip – something that’s a luxury for us since I’ve never actually been able to go on a trip with the boy in any meaningful way.

Her: What were you thinking, Lo?!
Me: I was thinking I needed to do this immediately, so I did!
Her: (shakes head)

While I’m certain she has questions about my judgment, she did take a walk home with me the other night.

We stopped by Venus et Fleur at Columbus Circle. They had real roses that last a year…and cost $1,000.

Me: I can pretty much promise you that I’ll never get you $1,000 flowers.
Her: I wouldn’t want you to! Still, they’re beautiful.
Me: Not $1,000 beautiful! We should leave because we’re both so clumsy that we’re bound to destroy like $10,000 worth of flowers here.
Her: (thinks then turns to leave) That’s very true…

Location: West End Avenue, in the rain, being told he’s a good kid
Mood: headache-y
Music: you’ve got the pulse, pulse of the city (Spotify)
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That’s really unnecessary

Coinbase finally got back to me

My MIL called me today to tell me that my son rang her while at the park today – he’s got this Dick Tracy watch thingy that we just got repaired.

You can kinda see in the pic above.

She said this was the conversation she overheard.

Him: That’s my grandma! Hi grandma!
Her: Are you with your friends?
Him: Yes. They’re a bit annoying.
Girl: (in the distance) I just wanted to give you a hug.
Him: (turning to her) That’s really unnecessary.

The kid is five. I’m literally raising a 65 year-old Italian man..

Snore GIF from Snoopy GIFs

One that’s taken to lying on top of the couch cushions a la Snoopy. It’s so funny to see his particular personality develop.

Him: Do you know what street Sandy lives on?
Me: 125th?
Him: Close. But incorrect. She lives on 119th. (gently) It’s ok, papa. Now you know.

I mentioned to my MIL all the peculiar things he says.

Me: I wonder where he picks it up?
Her: (laughing) A lot of it from you!
Me: Really?

For example…

Me: It’s a pen…and a whistle!
Him: (nodding slowly) Well…that was unexpected.

…I didn’t realize that I said, “That was unexpected,” all that much, but there you go.

Was planning on writing more but Coinbase finally got back to me – 49 days after the fact – and pulled me outta this entry.

Evidently, the thieves didn’t get everything.

I can finally get that Metrocard I’ve been saving up for.

Location: just now, telling someone that I didn’t mind the cigarette
Mood: eh
Music: thinking ’bout something you said (Spotify)
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The difference between Knowledge and Wisdom

Understanding what it really means/Seeing the grey

10th Avenue in Manhattan, NYC

Worked pretty much this entire weekend. Beat tired.

Life was simpler when you’re young. There was ever only black and white, good and evil, heroes and villains.

As you get older you realize there’s a lot of grey. Unless you never grow up. If you never grow up, then the world remains black and white. You don’t see the grey. Or all of the luck, stupid luck, and stupid involved in life.

If you see the grey, you see that there’s a lot of stupid involved in life.

Have you ever noticed that it’s the least educated, least traveled, least read of the people you know that have conspiracy theories? Because they have no background on which to base a logical conclusion, they make their own out of bits and pieces of trivia and fact.

They can’t discern the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

There’s this example in one of Malcolm Gladwell’s books where a writing teacher says to a buncha students that the election is the next day.

They’re to write about what it means.

And most of the kids write about the democratic process, the history of nation, the candidates, etc. Information, data, knowledge.

But one student understands what this really means. It means: No school tomorrow.

That’s wisdom. Understanding what things mean.

There’re people with the ability to see the grey and everyone else.

Stranger: How do they know they got the right guy? I mean, besides the shootout, the cop they shot, and the pictures, what evidence do they have these guys did anything?
Me: That’s true, besides the shootout, the cop they shot, the pictures – and the chase, the video, the ATM pics, the multiple eye-witnesses – besides those things, I suppose you’re right, they don’t have anything.

Location: in front of more papers
Mood: weary
Music: giving the academy a rain check
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Becoming couth

Cocktails in the UWS, NYC

Like everyone else, we got caught up in the lottery fever.

Her: Shoot, our Powerball was “24” and the last winning Powerball was “24.”
Me: So we have ten tickets that have the same Powerball as the last winning ticket? I’ll just grab a quick-pick.
Her: (later) So? What’s our new Powerball number?
Me: 24.

Got good luck nor bad luck; just strange luck. This time, didn’t even win a dollar.

———-

Me: It’s nice spending time together.
Her: Yeah, in the five minutes you’re not on your computer.
Me: Three minutes. I have deadlines.

HG and I found time recently to chill out and watch Food Inc. It should be required viewing for all Americans – we really are too far removed from our food.

We also saw this flick called The Double, which we really enjoyed but got critically panned. On a related note, we struggled to get through The Descendents and have zero interest in The Artist.

We’ve come to this conclusion: those films that are critically acclaimed, we just don’t find all that interesting while the films that critics hate, we seem to enjoy.

Evidently, we’re uncouth.

How does one become more couth?

Location: running all over the joint
Mood: finally not sick
Music: wanna pillowfight in the middle of the night
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The world limits us enough, why do it to ourselves?

Train arriving at Columbus Circle

Her: It looks worse, you should go see a doctor.
Me: Nah, I’ll be fine.

Wonder how many people died saying those as their last words.

Been going to the gym like crazy cause summer’s usually my slow time and I wanna get in as much gym time as possible before things start getting mad busy. So I was rolling with my buddy Car when we got onto the topic of MRSA (pronounced “mer-suh”). If you don’t know what that is, do NOT google it, instead, just believe me when I tell you that it’s gross and deadly. I’m a germaphobe by nature – to the point that no less than a dozen people remarked why I’d wrestle since that’s so unlike me. Which goes to show, that as much as I hate touching stuff, hate not knowing stuff even more.

Feara ignorance > OCD hand-washing.

In any case, had just shaved earlier that week and rolled and had gotten some razor burn. After a week, it started looking bad. Like real bad. After HG put her foot down, went to the local medi-merge where the lady doc walked into the room, took one look at me, and said, “You’ve got staph, man.” It wasn’t MRSA – thankfully – but it was something dangerous and gross. She gave me some meds and told me to go home and shave, which I did for the first time.

Lemme tell you: (a) it was insanely painful and (b) it far worse than I thought.

Killed all of my weekend plans. A weeka antibiotics later, about 90% back to normal.

The psychological scars’re gonna take a bit to get over though.

Do you know I’m scareda flying? Was the international sales manager for a Fortune 500 company and terrified of flying. But I board that plane every damn time.

Cause the world limits me enough; don’t need to do it to myself.

So Thursday, back in the gym.

Course, gonna be covered in plastic wrap from head-to-toe but that’s really neither here nor there.

 

Location: in fronta piles of papers
Mood: better
Music: rolling in the deep the scars
YASYCTAI: Do the uncomfortable things. (always/3 pts)
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business personal

Over three years later, still hate mice and AT&T

Mona Lisa on a NYC Building

The snow just keeps coming. Parta the reason I live in the city is because I thought I wouldn’t have to shovel. This is not true.

In other news, was all over the city and beyond this week: went to the boogie-down Bronx, Yonkers, White Plains, Queens and Long Island. All on the same day. So at least work’s picking up.

Been thinking about canceling AT&T for some time now – over three years actually – since my reception is horrid is non-existent stinks sucks bites leaves much to be desired. But they’re like the mafia; they keep pulling you back in. I’m like a crow with my love of new shiny.

But then PB sent me this link and I rang them up. Spoke to a nice young lady and convinced her to send me a 3G microcell free of charge.

I’m telling ya, the most valuable skill y’can have is an ability to talk to people.

But since this @#$@#$ comes from AT&T, of course it doesn’t work. Can’t believe I left Sprint all those years ago and got into something worse.

Guess that’s my project for the day.

Location: in fronta more blinking lights
Mood: frustrated
Music: So I traveled back, down that road
YASYCTAI: Try to resolve that issue. (120 mins/1 pt)
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Where life takes you

 

Building off Cooper Square in NYC

A buddy I’ve not seen in a bit came by the other day. We went out for a walk and randomly a friend of his invited him over to eat. So he invited me.

Next thing you know we’re on a cab heading west and sitting in some girl’s kitchen having some hommade jook and I’m moving a cello and he’s hanging a tapestry.

Funny where the day takes you sometimes.

———-

Katsmw: Logan, I’ve told you this several times before!
Me: Sorry – most of the 90s and the first half of the 2000s were a blur to me.
Her: Why is that?
Me: My insomnia. Once I started sleeping well a few days in a row, it was like putting on glasses and seeing clearly.

Had some other friends over last night; an old college buddy and his wife. Made a roasted rack of lamb, potatoes, salad with blue cheese and cranberries rounded off with some gluhwein.

Afterward, played some Scattergories (lost one round and tied one round) and introduced him to the wonderful worlda rum.

At some point, y’sit around and chat about stories in college. Like how my buddy would come back from a hard run and then have a cigarette. He’s since quit. 17 years I’ve known the fella. It’s nice seeing how things change with old friends.

And how much things stay the same.

Me: (dropping carving knife onto floor) YIKES!
Everyone: Whoa!
Her: That could have cut off your toe!
Him: It fell into his lap first (laughing) so a toe woulda been the least of his problems.


Location: on way to Yonkers
Mood: busy
Music: with lovers and friends I still can recall