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personal

A shoot, drinks, a pier, and a church

Plus a pitcher of ice

Me: You know what I love most about living in NYC?
Firecracker: What?
Me: It’s like that line in Fools Rush In that I’m always talking about – if you wait around long enough, pretty much the whole world will pass through.

Had an all-day Scenic Fights shoot the other night for a holiday special that we’re doing.

I’m sure you can guess what holiday from the main pic.

Had to cut out of filming at a certain time both to grab my kid as well as to meet an old friend of mine that was visiting from San Francisco.

I first met him about 2004 or so when he needed a place to stay in NYC.

Doesn’t feel like over two decades ago, and yet it was.

At that time, he was dating someone, and he ended up marrying and having two kids with her – both of whom are now in college.

In any case, his oldest is now in NYC – and I think graduating this year – and he and his wife were in town and asked to meet up.

I suggested a buncha places but, because the weather was perfect, I suggested Pier I, and they agreed and met us there.

It was nice catching up with everyone.

Firecracker: We usually have pretty quiet nights.
Me: That’s because of her addiction.
Firecracker: What addiction?!
Me: Big Two – we literally play a few hands almost every night.
Friend’s Wife: OMG, we LOVE Big Two! If we had cards, we could play right now.
Firecracker: I totally would! He’s right, I am addicted.
Me: Plus, I tried to convince her to hustle a buncha old Chinese in Boston.

One little thing that was annoying is that we ordered a pitcher of a mixed drink that – after taxes and tip – cost about $100.

But we were only able to get three drinks outta it.

So, I spoke to the manager who was super nice.

Me: Sorry, I don’t mean to be all Karen about this but…that works out to be about $33.50 per drink. It was like, all ice!
Her: Oh, I would be upset too. Can I mix you three more drinks?
Me: Oh, that’s a lot. I think two would be fair.
Her: (smiling) I’ll mix three, no problem.

So, that was pretty cool.

Afterward, we took mini walk around the hood.

Him: Hey, that’s my old apartment!
Me: Yup. Not much has changed with it in over two decades.

We walked by a church which, I’ll have to tell you about one day because – completely by coincidence – it was a major part of the lecture I gave in France all those years ago because it was involved in a seminal US Supreme Court case.

Anywho, the guy that manages the church is a friend of mine and, without our even asking, he unlocked it and let us marvel at the main rectory.

Afterward, they left and we went back home.

Like I said, if you wait long enough, pretty much the whole world filters through NYC, it seems.

Her: They were nice. And it was so cool that your friend gave us a private tour of the church.
Me: Yeah. I’ve met alotta really cool and nice people all these years. Hopefully, the kid can do the same.

Location: my pad on a zoom with my doc telling me I’ll probably need surgery at some point
Mood: discouraged
Music: knew I could regain my sight, and it feels alright (Spotify)
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Have you ever had mantis shrimp?

That too…

Me: Can I use this picture of you?
Her: What? Why?
Me: Because you look so ridiculous, I wanna put it up.
Her: What? You don’t think I look cute there?
Me: Well, sure, that too…

If you managed to hack into my social media feed, you would find the following types of videos being shown:

    • Videos about food
    • Videos about fighting
    • Videos about wild boar hunting (don’t ask)
    • Videos about mantis shrimp

For the last one, if you don’t know, the mantis shrimp has one of the most powerful punches on the planet, despite their diminutive size.

They can punch with the speed of a 22-caliber bullet and regularly smash aquariums.

Warning, kinda graphic.

Anywho, imagine my surprise when the Surgeon wrote me outta the blue.

Surgeon: I just saw mantis shrimp at a market in sunset park. Haven’t seen those since Vietnam.
Steel: Buy a ton of them and I’ll swing by tomorrow to cook them.
Surgeon: I got six pounds. Those dudes looked at me like I walked out of a UFO. (I’m regularly the only white guy in all of sunset park.)
Me: (laughing)

So, this past weekend, we all went to the Surgeon’s pad and had some.

Steel made a killer herbed butter to cook them…

…and then they prepped them…

…while I held down the rum-drinking portion of things.

They say that it tastes like a mix between shrimp and lobster.

I’d agree with that BUT I feel the texture is a bit softer, which I find slightly off putting but is otherwise, delicious (I prob just need to get used to it).

Afterward, we had some dessert before heading back home.

Unfortunately, there was an uninvited guest on the platform of our train.

Her: Rat aside, tonight was fun.
Me: They’re always a good time. Man, I had a lotta rum.
Her: At least it wasn’t mezcal.
Me: Ugh. Yeah…

Location: home, figuring out middle school stuff…
Mood: overwhelmed
Music: guessing that’s real good news (Spotify)
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The Handsome Mens Club

A new year

Me: When are you two free for the next meeting of the Handsome Mens Club (trademark pending)?
NFL Player: Next week or following week?
Thor: Absolutely.

It’s been a busy week of catching up with people now that school’s back in session.

It’s funny, before I was a parent, my year began in September just because that’s when it began as a kid.

But as a parent, it begins in September again because the kid’s year now begins in September.

And so does the year of all my friends with kids.

Case in point: Met up with Thor and the NFL Player for dinner around the way at a new joint called Sugarfish because they were both back in town from their summer travels.

The food was very good BUT the rice was warm – warmer than body temperature – and I’ve just never had warm sushi rice before.

Very odd.

Also checked out Thor’s new whip that he got just for fun.

Him: (proudly) Zero-to-sixty in less than three seconds.
Me: Jesus.

Then, that weekend, the Firecracker, the kids, and I all went down to the Surgeon’s for a little get-together where we finished an entire bottle of rum…

Me: (to Flutist, the Surgeon’s wife) Your husband almost killed me last time.
Surgeon: That’s why we’ve been drinking rum.
Flutist: It was that bad?
Firecracker: (nodding) Oh, yeah…oh, yeah…

…before we went up to their roof because the weather was just perfect.

Then, the very next morning, bright and early, I went over to Cappy’s like I said in the last entry.

There, I went to his roof and saw more spectacular skylines.

I live in the basement of a townhouse, so my views are of garbage cans and a parking lot.

Maybe someday, I’ll live in a place with gorgeous views.

Actually, nah.

Don’t wanna get spoiled.

Location: NJ, having what I thought was good Italian food. Others disagreed.
Mood: fatty-fat-fat
Music: wanna let you know I’m gonna build castles (Spotify)

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Sunday morning rolling

Plus a, little daydrinking

Him: Tomorrow, come with me to Brooklyn. I’ll get you and we can Uber on me. It starts around 1030-1045AM.
Me: Le what? Lemme talk to my girl about having her watch both kids.

Normally, my weekends are spent shuttling the kid from one thing to another but, because school just started, some days are still up in the air in terms of his schedule.

I’ve been hanging with this other surgeon that lives around me, and he knows that I do some grappling, so he invited me to this little gathering out in Brooklyn for an informal class.

Turned out that it was taught by a guy that my buddy Robinson describes as: “Probably the most knowledgeable (and dangerous) BJJ guy in New York after Jon Calestine and Eddie Cummings.”

Pretty high praise.

So, this past weekend, met up with the Fighter Surgeon and we headed out to the wilds of Brooklyn.

Interestingly, it was right by the old gym I used to head to in Brooklyn for a short stint.

It was actually a lotta fun, despite my back not being the best. Nice being on the mats again.

The instructor showed me some pretty clever tweaks to moves I already knew, which was a plus.

And everyone was very nice and chill.

Afterwards, we went around the corner and had a drink.

Me: Do you have a Michelob Ultra?
Him: God, you are such a woman.
Me: You try looking this good at 52!
Bartender: No, sorry. No light beers.
Me: Then just a rum and diet coke, then. Man, there’s nuthin like alcohol in the morning after violence.

It was a nice little change of pace from my usual quiet Sunday mornings.

Location: the kid’s hot classroom with two cameras
Mood: sweaty
Music: gonna try with a little help from my friends (Spotify)
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My – and Dorothy’s – Home Town

You never get used to New York

My first NYC apartment was just two blocks from the Algonquin Hotel.

Used to walk past it alla time and think about one of my fave authors at that time, Dorothy Parker.

Haven’t read or thought about her in years but today, I remembered her essay about our shared hometown that she wrote almost 100 years ago but still resonates now.

Figured that, if you haven’t read it, I’ll put it below for you.

My Home Town
by Dorothy Parker

It occurs to me that there are other towns.

It occurs to me so violently that I say, at intervals, “Very well, if New York is going to be like this, I’m going to live somewhere else.”

And I do – that’s the funny part of it.

‘But then one day there comes to me the sharp picture of New York at its best, on a shiny blue-and-white Autumn day with its buildings cut diagonally in halves of light and shadow, with its straight neat avenues colored with quick throngs, like confetti in a breeze.

Someone, and I wish it had been I, has said that “Autumn is the Springtime of big cities.”

I see New York at holiday time, always in the late afternoon, under a Maxfield Parrish sky, with the crowds even more quick and nervous but even more good-natured, the dark groups splashed with the white of Christmas packages, the lighted holly-strung shops urging them in to buy more and more.

I see it on a Spring morning, with the clothes of the women as soft and as hopeful as the pretty new leaves on a few, brave trees.

I see it at night, with the low skies red with the black-flung lights of Broadway, those lights of which Chesterton – or they told me it was Chesterton – said, “What a marvelous sight for those who cannot read!”

I see it in the rain, I smell the enchanting odor of wet asphalt, with the empty streets black and shining as ripe olives. I see it – by this time, I become maudlin with nostalgia – even with its gray mounds of crusted snow, its little Appalachians of ice along the pavements.

So, I go back.

And it is always better than I thought it would be.

I suppose that is the thing about New York.

It is always a little more than you had hoped for.

Each day, there, is so definitely a new day.

“Now we’ll start over,” it seems to say every morning, “and come on, let’s hurry like anything.”

London is satisfied…,

Paris is resigned…,

…but New York is always hopeful.

Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.

There is excitement ever running its streets.

Each day, as you go out, you feel the little nervous quiver that is yours when you sit in the theater just before the curtain rises.

Other places may give you a sweet and soothing sense of level; but in New York there is always the feeling of “Something’s going to happen.”

It isn’t peace.

But, you know, you do get used to peace, and so quickly.

And you never get used to New York.

By Derek Jensen – Tysto, Public Domain

Location: my hometown, thinking of all those years ago
Mood: somber
Music: New York sky don’t get much brighter – she sets, she sets the city on fire (Spotify)
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When you know…

…you know

A dear friend wrote me outta the blue one morning.

Her: Hola! You’re probably sleeping but I wanted to see if you and [The Firecracker] are doing anything on the 29th. This guy I’m dating, who apparently is my boyfriend, is taking me to dinner in the city. He’s inviting you both to join.
Me: What?! Yes! And…what!?

I’ve known her a solid 17 years and have never met anyone she’s ever dated, let alone someone she’s called her boyfriend.

So, I moved a buncha things around and the two of us met up with her and her fella at Aqua, downtown.

He was actually a super nice fella and seemed a touch nervous, which I found pretty sweet.

Me: How did you two meet?
Friend: (rolls her eyes) How do you think, Logan?
Me: Ah, the traditional online meet-cute.
Firecracker: Logan wanted to make the best first impression so he ate a full dinner before dinner.
Me: This is true, I had to pregame with a burger and salad.

Of course, this didn’t stop me from finishing my entire meal.

As well as the Firecracker’s.

And my friend’s.

And…

Him: I actually only wanted half the pizza.
Me: Are you sure?
Friend: Just eat it, Logan, you know you want to.
Me: (shrugging) Hokay.
Firecracker: I honest-to-god don’t know where he puts it all. I always say that he’s got a peg leg.

Turns out that he’s only in town for a (very) long-term work project but hinted that he was open to moving to the area for her.

Friend: (joking) I don’t know why he’s so into me.
Me: Oh, I get it.
Firecracker: Me too – when you know you know.

This isn’t to say that they’re guaranteed to end up together – although the Firecracker and I really liked him and hope they work out – but it’s definitely worlds easier when both parties are really into each other.

Afterward, we went to Thyme Bar where I bought a round of drinks before heading back.

The drinks were delicious and insanely strong.

On the ride back, the Firecracker and I got to talking; we both agreed that we felt a spark the moment we met and saw each other almost every day for weeks.

Me: The thing is that, when I met you, I wanted to see you as much as possible because the worst type of disappointment is the kind that takes months to figure out.
Her: (nodding) Same. I wanted to know as soon as possible as well.

Said it before, the worst part about dating is the constant disappointment and disappointing.

Here’s hoping they make their spark last.

Firecracker: (reading over my shoulder as I write this) Like us!
Me: (laughing) Agreed.

Location: home, listening to the dulcet sounds of TWO jackhammers right outside my door
Mood: Jackhammered
Music: And I want you to want to be here with me (Spotify)
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Train (still) on time

Mentally mapping trains

Her: Before I buy more KFC can you check the freezer to see if we already have KFC?
Me: Check the freezer?! Baby, all we’re doing is adding to our current KFC stash if there’s *already* KFC in the freezer. That’s like saying, “Hey, before I make more money, check the bank to see if we have money in the bank already.” Do you hear how that sounds?
Her: Someone’s hangry right now.
Me: Clearly!

The kids are both back for school to start next week. While they’re growing up quickly, we’re still not ready to let either of them take the trains by themselves yet.

This is despite the Firecracker’s kid being just obsessed with trains.

Trains and the subway show up a lot in this blog – even way in the beginning – because that’s my main means of transportation, which is kinda strange if you think about it.

I suppose most of you travel by car and such but that’s a luxury here in the city.

When the Firecracker and I went to Vienna, we didn’t think twice about taking the trains.

And years ago – before this blog, if you can believe it – I went to visit Prague and Berlin and had to get someplace off the train line.

Asked a local where the nearest station was and he said we should take a cab instead because their subway system was so complex.

I remember laughing and saying, “I’m from NYC, I think I’ll be ok.”

And I was.

Same with Vienna and every other major city I’ve ever been to.

Essentially, if you can make it around the NYC subway system, any other system on the planet is a cinch, language issues notwithstanding.

Interestingly, I read this article which said that “city transportation maps with over 250 connections are too complex for most people to navigate. In fact, a staggering 80% of trips in New York already exceed this cognitive limit.”

Meaning that just being able to take the NYC subway system puts you in the elite of cognition as it relates to mental mapping.

In some ways, that’s part of why I wanna raise the kid in the city versus elsewhere – because he’s constantly being tested and pushed in ways that he doesn’t even realize.

Well, that plus the fact that I can readily get all sortsa fried fowl, even in the midst of a pandemic.

Hangry…

Location: by a pool in Central Islip
Mood:
Music: oh my, the train is gone (Spotify)
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Nuthin like it was for someone else

You pay to be left alone

Her: Hey, are you free to join some work colleagues for dinner?
Me: Sure – where and when?

The Firecracker had a fancy work dinner to attend, so I gave her some suggestions, including the really nice restaurant that I took her to on our first proper dinner date years ago.

She booked a reservation but then one person couldn’t make it, so I showed up in his stead.

It’s funny because someone mentioned on the Firecracker’s social media why we would want to eat in an empty restaurant, and we talked about that exact topic that night.

Me: (to the guests) The thing about living in NYC is that when you pay a ridiculous amount of money in a restaurant for food, you’re really paying for people to not be on top of you.
Firecracker: Yeah, most places are crowded and loud. You pay for space and quiet.

In any case, I got my usual burger…

…and a drink.

Afterward, I gave some of them – who were in town visiting – a tour of the St. Marks area.

Along the way, we walked by some old haunts of mine, including:

Spent most nights there with my friends Francis and Rain but that’s a story for another day.

We ended up at Criff Dogs…

…and Please Don’t Tell, the speakeasy that we didn’t make it into last time and actually made it in this time.

I may or may not have ordered some hot dogs.

Firecracker: I swear to god, he has a wooden leg.
Me: I’m a growing boy.

Afterwards, we all went our respective ways but I actually, sent Rain a shot of Cafe Orlin/Marlou Bistro…

…and his response was typically him.

Without telling his story, I think part of the reason he left New York was that the New York that he loved left him.

I think that’s why a lotta people leave this place.

There’s almost nuthin left of the New York City that I once knew.

But that’s ok for me.

Because I gotta figure that the New York City that I knew is nuthin like it was for someone else who came before me.

And it’s time for someone else to have their New York City.

Me: I miss the kid.
Her: He’ll be back this weekend.
Me: (nodding)

Location: 10AM, shooting a shirtless video for Scenic Fights and then eating $58 worth of carbs immediately afterward
Mood: so. so. so. so. full.
Music: In New York, you can be a new man (Spotify)
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Way less sad

Taking it every day I can

KG Betty: I just moved a few weeks ago; once I’m settled in it’ll all start sinking in. How about you? Still super happy? I hope everything is good with you!
Me: I wouldn’t say I’m super happy but you just reminded me of a song I’ve been listening to called “Way Less Sad.” It’s got a line goes, “I’m not happy yet, but I’m way less sad.”

Been chatting with KG Betty again.

She reached out to me a few times while Alison was sick but I couldn’t pull myself together enough to chat with her.

Or anyone, really.

Afterward, I was even more of a mess.

But, she always kept in touch, something I really appreciated. And she’s been dealing with her own stuff these days so I reached out to her.

Like I always said, old friends are such a valuable thing to have in your life.

I’m grateful for the ones that have stuck around.

Speaking of friends, my buddy Katrina was in my area the other day.

Her boyfriend was part of a bartending contest at our fave rum joint, Tiki Chick, to raise money for EPIC: Empowering Pacific Islander Communities.

Wanted to go – both to see them and because it’s my regular rum joint – but I was dealing with more tech issues, which I’ll tell you about one of these days.

Me: Sorry, was a crazy busy day with my network going down. Very annoying.
Her: That sucks. But it’s okay – you’re a busy guy

It’s a shame that I couldn’t make it but I figure they’ll do something like this again in the future and I can make it next time.

Until then, back to fixing this @#$@#$! network…

What I told KG Betty and my buddy Owen is true and I think that pretty much sums up my entire mindset these days.

I think that once someone deals with a double-whammy loss like I did, happy is something that seems very quaint and far away.

Way less sad is a win in my book and I’ll take it every day I can.

Obviously, the Firecracker has a lot to do with this, so I’m grateful for her as well.

Location: The New Cottage with my two tiny roommates
Mood: tech-y
Music: you’re so insane – shut up and just enjoy this feelin’ (Spotify)
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If you sit here long enough, everyone walks by

The Firecracker and the Asians

Alex: There’s a spot in the middle of Central Park, the Bethesda Fountain. If you sit there long enough, the entire city walks by.
Isabel: Hmm. And I know of this one canyon, that if you sit there long enough, nobody finds you and you die.

This pic is over 20 years old (I age very slowly); that’s Bethesda Fountain behind me. It’s from this entry.

Matthew Perry was in this rom-com that I absolutely loved when I was a kid called Fools Rush In, with Salma Hayek.

In it, their two characters were comparing the beauty of nature in Nevada, versus the excitement of New York.

I think a lot about maybe getting some place away from NYC, but I honestly can’t imagine living anywhere else but here.

Anywho, I gotta agree with the character of Alex – there’s something about NYC where the entire world really does seem to stop by for a visit.

In the past month alone, we had two doctors from Pittsburg, my relatives from Indiana, and friends from Spain stop by.

This past week, my friend Angel came to town with her son.

She wanted to go to Japanfes, which just happened to be in my neck of the woods this time around so off we met.

She brought her son, who was a Scenic Fights fan, which is always a plus.

Angel: He decided to study German. No idea why.
Me: Oh, I get it. If he can speak English, Chinese, and German, he’s speaking the languages of the Top 1, 2, and 3 world economies, in that order. He can literally work in 95% of the planet with those three languages.
Her: (smiling) Well, ok then!

The kid used the chance to get himself a bubble tea while the Firecracker got herself a salmon sushi taco.

Her: I think if I wrote an autobiography, I’d call this time “[The Firecracker] and the Asians.

Afterward, we went to my fave bistro around the way and got some more food and drink.

It was good seeing Angel – It’s been at least 20 years since I saw her last but she looked pretty much as I remembered her.

After a spell, we went back home, where we convinced Angel and her son to play Big Two.

The Firecracker is an addict.

But she came in second after Angel’s son.

She’s supposed to come back again before she leaves for dinner as she and her kid have been traveling the world and miss having a home cooked meal.

I’ll tell you about that next time.

Location: booking a hotel for a far-off place
Mood: content(ish)
Music: like a narc I knew I had to leave my mark (Spotify)
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