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Where’s my flying car?

A Skybridge to Nowhere

Him: What is that?
Me: That’s a skybridge. When I was a kid, people thought that – by 2025 – we’d all have flying cars so they would build these bridges between buildings so people could get around easier if we were all flying around. There are still a few left in NYC.

The kid noticed the below skybridge one late night when we were out with the Firecracker just outside Penn Station.

Now we’re on a quest to visit some of them if we can.

From ScoutingNY

Learned how to speed read around middle school.

I’d already read pretty quickly but I read something once that said that the simplest way to speed read is to read with your finger, but for a peculiar reason.

Take the sentence:

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

Most people don’t read it like that, they read it like this:

The quick quick brown fox fox jumped jumped over the the lazy dog dog.

They go back at least one word, sometimes two.

You probably do it too. Try it.

Just read a sentence with your finger and force your finger to constantly move forward.

At first, it’s a bit disconcerting but you get used to it after a few weeks.

That alone should increase your reading speed, significantly.

Nowadays, I probably read normally around 650 words a minute with full comprehension and as much as 750 if I really focus.

Now, I’m not telling you this to brag but to say that I was sitting bed one day watching this clip of Bill Barr commenting on meeting flat earthers.

It allowed me to finally answer the question: Where’s my flying car?

By Mr.choppers – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=152037030

See, I assumed that, by now, I’d be flying around in my car. Instead, we got this monstrosity.

What happened?

I think that humans take two steps forward and one step back.

Constantly.

Like we got rid of the measles.

Because most people have no memories of just how horrific the measles were.

Then fucking morons like RFK Jr come along and say that measles aren’t a big deal because they have no fucking clue.

Then a lotta people die.

Then we gotta figure out the measles again.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

The Arabs were once some of the most brilliant people on the planet, giving us algebra (al-jabr) and the House of Wisdom, among other things.

Then religious zealots took over and burned books and so much knowledge was lost.

Although, to be fair, this happened everywhere: China, England, Nazi Germany, even right here in the good ole US of A.

The US even had one just last year.

That’s why people, particularly the willfully ignorant ones, are such a disappointment to me.

There’s no end to stupid people doing stupid things and other stupid people cheering them on.

Him: Why don’t we have any flying cars, papa?
Me: Because there are so many stupid people in the world, kid. For every two steps forward, we make as a society, we take one step backward.
Him: Awww…a flying car would be cool.
Me: It really would be.

As I was writing this entry, this article just came out about almost all Tesla Cybertrucks needing to be recalled.

You cannot make this stuff up.

Location: The sunny upper west side
Mood: disappointed
Music: Boy, I don’t understand (Spotify)
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St. Paddy’s with Indian and Irish-American food

A weekend of food and trains

ABFF: Hey last min but any chance you guys could do dinner this Fri or Sat?

It’s been a busy week or so for the kid and me – well, it was a busy weekend of food, at least.

We started off by heading to ABFF’s for dinner with her kids, my kid, the Firecracker, and some of the ABFF’s friends.

The adults basically just chatted while the kids were up to something.

We’d been on an Indian kick lately, so we all had that.

A few days later, I made some corned beef and cabbage for St. Paddy’s Day.

Then we went to my SIL to swim at her pad again.

The Firecracker’s kid and my kid had a grand time.

With us taking the light rail…

…and PATH afterward, which both boys got a kick outta.

As for me, I liked the rando artwork everywhere in Jersey City and Hoboken.

Me: Did you have a fun time?
Him: Yes! Can we do it all again next week?
Me: (laughing) It’s not really up to me, but I’m sure we’ll find something fun to do, yeah?
Him: Yeah!

Location: home, working on the garden
Mood: proud of the kid – I’ll tell you why later
Music: She took the midnight train going anywhere (Spotify)
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Absolutely killer drinks

You’re like Cookie Monster

Stopped by the Surgeon’s pad the other day just to get the kids together.

It actually was his birthday that week, so I brought over some dumplings from the joint right across the street from him.

Now, last year, I got him a nice bottle of rum at the Downtown Assocation.

After I got insanely sick in the Bahamas, I told him that I’d – respectfully – probably not drink any more tequila nor mezcal.

Luckily, he’s been experimenting with rum and I’m hoping that I have another convert.

To wit, he mixed us all several different iterations of a Hemmingway Daiquiri.

Me: Oh, we had this on our first date!
Her: Yeah – you told me to eat that dried lime and I almost gagged.
Me: …sorry?

He even made a Japanese Yuzu Hemmingway Daiquiri.

The Surgeon made such absolutely killer drinks that I spent a solid few hours just passed out on the sofa as other guests came and went.

In fact, this was my view most of the night.

It was a really nice night, like always.

And I didn’t feel like death the next day, so win-win!

Me: Oh man, I ate and drank waaaaay too much last night.
Her: You’re like Cookie Monster, except you’re not as selective as he is.
Me: What?
Her: Well, he just thinks of eating cookies all day and you just think of eating all day.
Me: Fair.

Location: earlier today, my old gym, injuring myself with a weight
Mood: grumpy
Music: days turn into night like these when my willpower’s weak (Spotify)
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A party and grossness

So much grossness

The kid got invited to his friend’s birthday party the other day, so we all headed down to Chelsea Piers again.

Like I said before, it’s always nice to be included.

Felt bad this time around because we had the four of us – the kid and me, and the Firecracker and her kid – but the hosts were super kind and told us we were all welcome so off we went.

The kids had a blast…

…and my own kid ate his weight in…stuff.

Now, in the middle of it, some other kid ate some of the fruit with the serving tongs, which he put into his mouth.

As soon as he put the tongs down, I grabbed it and asked one of the helpers to replace it, which he did.

Unfortunately, I might not have caught it in time.

See, later on that night, he got hit HARD with a stomach bug.

Can’t say for sure that it was because of that kid, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

In any case, I’ll not post pics but just trust me when I tell you that it was spectacularly gross.

The kid’s friend that lives next door to us and always invites us over for holidays also got ridonk sick.

It was a pretty rough three days for both of them and they both had to miss a day of school – the Firecracker and her kid (luckily) didn’t get sick.

Oh, I should mention that the Firecracker – after 10PM, which is when the kid had his worst bout of grossness – immediately donned some gloves and kneeled into the thick of the grossness to help me clean it up, something she absolutely didn’t have to do but I was deeply grateful that she did.

Me: (in between dry heaving) I’m so sorry about this. Thank you for helping.
Her: (cleaning) Of course. I used to be a schoolteacher. This stuff doesn’t bother me.

Speaking of knees, it’s stuff like that that makes me think she’s just the bees’ knees.

Most of the time.

Me: I think that I’m pretty chill these days because I’m…
Her: …old.
Me: (shaking head) That really wasn’t necessary.

Location: the supermarket for the third time in one day because I’m so forgetful these days
Mood: fat
Music: Now I’m taking sips of your potion (Spotify)
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Memory Lane

Not that there’s anything wrong with that

After the Firecracker and I came back from her surprise shower, we then dashed off to our local dive bar – Malachy’s – and met up with my old roomie, Buckley.

We actually lived in the same dorm waaaaaay back in 1991 (!) and kept in touch after I left.

When he moved into the city, he and I became roomies and, after a few years, he and I bought our apartment together.

I remember that my dad had questions.

Dad: You…and Buckley…are buying an apartment? Together?
Me: Yeah, why?
Him: Well…is there anything else you wanna tell me?
Me: (puzzled) No, why? (thinking) OMG! No, we’re just friends. And poor. We’re poor friends. We can’t afford a place alone, so we need to pool our money together.
Him: Oh…
Me: (quickly) Not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re just poor.

This is us in 1998, right before we bought the place.

I dunno what we were thinking with those sweaters or my goatee.

In any case, we met up at Malachy’s because that and Big Nick’s – which is where the main picture was taken – were the two greasy spoon dives that we always went to.

It’s weird. He looks like him just…older. And I’m the same.

We were literally kids when we met – like 17. And now his son is not that far off from the age when we first met.

Rain Noe, Logan Lo

And I’ve been chatting with Rain a lot these days.

He’s just dealing with some real estate issues and that’s kinda what I do.

That’s a pic of us back in 1998 downtown. I think at a joint called Stingy Lulu‘s (or Yaffa Cafe).

Big Nick’s is long gone – it closed back in 2013 and I wrote about it. I remember chatting with Alison about it.

Stingy Lulu’s has been gone for decades – as has Yaffa Cafe.

The thing about being 51 in 2025 is that I don’t really have any pictures or videos of some of the most seminal moments of my life.

This was a little bit after he moved out and Alison moved in.

Because, back then, cameras were crappy and usually just film or – in my case – crappy digital.

Did you know that your memories aren’t replayed, they’re reconstructed each and every time you remember them?

That means that every time you remember thing, there’s a (high) chance you’ll alter that memory a bit and those alterations keep piling up until you can’t trust your own memories anymore?

And that’s why I wish I had better pictures/videos to remember my possible pasts with.

Luckily, I have my friends to help me remember those memories.

Me: He was a quant at Long Term Capital, right?
Him: No, he was a programmer – he was on his way to being a quant when it imploded.
Me: Gotcha – I didn’t know that.

Unfortunately, I don’t have Alison here to remember the memories that mattered the very most to me.

Ah, fuck…

This is what my room looked like when it was just me and Buckley – two bachelors in the city.
A dragonfly from this entry in 2008. I have questions about that day but no one to ask.

Location: this morning, looking up therapists for various reasons
Mood: messy
Music: saw my life in a strangers face and it was mine (Spotify)
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Surprising her again, but not by me

The Firecracker had a surprise party the other day

Amazingly, the very next day after I wrote the previous entry about my fixing my server hack, it got hacked again in the morning.

Super annoying, but, luckily, most of the site was pretty barebones by then so we were able to patch that part pretty quickly.

Let’s see how long this lasts.

On another topic, entirely, the Firecracker had to go to a “conference” the other day.

It turns out that it was all a sham – but the good kind.

See, her coworkers had to think of a reason to get her to come up for a surprise party thrown by her coworkers to celebrate her engagement to me.

Me: I get that. You *are* pretty lucky to have me.
Her: (rolls eyes)

She was super touched by the gesture and hit me up to swing by.

Her: My coworkers are the best! Come on by, we’ll be here a bit.

While I feel that I’m always crashing her office events, she said it was fine, so I headed up.

Everyone, like always, was super sweet.

They had hors d’oeuvres, champagne, sandwiches, salads, and a ton of desserts…

…including some homemade cupcakes to boot.

They played some games…

…and also handed out prizes.

I won a scrunchie, as did she. 

Considering my quantity of hair, I’ll most likely give her mine.

We ate our fill and then headed home because later on that night, I was supposed to meet up with my old college roomie and buddy, Buckley.

I’ll tell you about that in the next entry.

Her: Five? You ate FIVE sandwiches?
Me: Well, no one else was eating them, so…
Her: What do you have, a hollow leg?
Me: In my defense, I only ate like half the bread.

Location: the basement, cleaning out a ton of brick dust from alla the previous work
Mood: busy and beat
Music: No, you’re not late to the party, don’t worry there’s still time (Spotify)
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A Revolutionary Afternoon

Rasputin was a real wizard

Because the Firecracker and I did so much traveling the past two years, we were chatting about getting into the TSA Precheck Program.

To this end, we both met up downtown at the National Museum of the American Indian, which is – oddly – where we had our interview.

The last time I’d been down there was in this entry, 13 years ago.

What a different life I led back then.

In any case, the interview itself was insanely fast; we were both done in less than three minutes.

It’s alla the paperwork that you gotta do ahead time that’s the real time killer.

Afterward, I told her that I’d buy her a drink downtown.

Me: Have you ever been to Fraunces Tavern?
Her: (thinking) That’s like a Revolutionary War place, yes? I don’t think so?
Me: Sweeeet, ok, let’s go.

It’s a place that George Washington supposedly utilized as a headquarters for war planning.

While we were there, I got a really good mead – for the first time, ever – and she just had some wine.

We chatted with the bartender for a bit before walking around downtown.

There were so many cool shops and restaurants downtown that we had difficulties figuring out where to eat.

Ultimately, she decided she wanted a lobster roll so we found a place downtown that had an excellent one.

She was very excited.

It felt luxurious to be out and about in the middle of the day.

This meant that we had time for some important and deep conversations.

Her: Have you ever considered that maybe Rasputin was a real wizard?
Me: OK, where to begin with that statement…?

Afterward, we walked around a bit more downtown…

…before we called it and went home.

Her: This is one of those things I like best about New York City.
Me: What?
Her: There’s just so much to do and see.
Me: (nodding) Yeah. I’ve been here my whole life and still think there’s so much I’ve not seen here yet.

Location: in front of six tacos, wondering if I should have a seventh
Mood: exhausted
Music: Völlig losgelöst von der Erde (Spotify)
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Not a Millennial

Six?!

Met up with Kung and my buddy Brando for lunch the other day.

The last time I ate with both of them, I was a complete mess as Alison had just died and I was doing whatever I could to stay sane and alive.

This time around, enough time had passed that I was able to just chill out and joke with them.

Me: Is there light beer happening at the dumpling joint?
Him: There better be!

While Kung is Chinese, Brando is Australian, which is a country that has the most Chinese in the world, outside of Asia.

This is relevant because they wanted soup dumplings for lunch and Brando suggested this one joint near his gym.

Me: Kung, as the only other true dumpling connoisseur of the group, do you agree? 
Brando: He LOVED the dumplings.
Me: Kung, don’t let the white man unduly influence you; what did you think?
Brando: How dare you assume I am not an expert in soup dumplings? It’s because I’m white, isn’t it?
Kung: Legit!

So, I went to their gym first and rolled around on the mats for the first time in ages and then we made it to the restaurant where we ordered six trays of soup dumplings.

Waiter: SIX? (holds up his hands with six fingers) Six?
Me: (nodding) Six. We’re hungry.
Brando: And we need some garlic bok choi.
Me: That too.

Another buddy was supposed to eat with us, but he’s got this insanely demanding job and literally had to fly out to another state last minute, a few hours before we were supposed to meet up.

Him: Hey boys, so sorry I missed lunch the other day I severely underestimated what [my bosses needed me to do]. I haven’t seen daylight since Thursday morning!

Him: Are you really gonna take a picture of your food? What are you, a Millennial?
Me: Clearly not. (shrugging) I just like taking pics of food for myself.

It was nice seeing them; we met some 15-20 years ago and we’re still friends even now.

The older I get, the more I value the people that chose to stick around.

Location: home with the boy and dealing with literal growing pains
Mood: concerned
Music: I was bad now I’m better (Spotify)
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Fixing cracks around here

Less than thrilled

The kid cracked another tooth the other day so we had to drop everything and head to the dentist’s to fix it.

This time, however, insurance was able to cover everything, so that was a plus.

Poor guy was less than thrilled, lemme tell ya.

Him: You have no idea how this feels!
Me: Dude, most adults know exactly how it feels – we’ve all done it. You’ll survive this, trust me.

Afterward, I brought him to see his grandparents out in the wilds of NJ…

…I stayed for dinner because they were having Afghan food and we all love it.

Couldn’t really stay longer than for dinner because there’s work that needs to be done on my building that we’re (finally) doing after literally decades of putting it off.

Essentially, our building has settled, and this has resulted in large cracks in our facade.

According to an engineer that came by, while it’s not dangerous to life or property at the moment, we had a few years to fix it before it became a serious problem.

A fella that did work for us years ago just happened to be free so I jumped at the chance to have him fix it.

Just like with any other repair work, as soon as he started, he saw more issues, like, look at how much mortar is missing from the bricks above, or how rusted the internal metal is between the layers of brick, below.

He’s gonna tell me after he’s had more time to check it out if we need to do anything more for that.

Home and kid ownership is rewarding, for sure, but keeping the home from falling down and the kid in one piece is really a full-time thing.

Then again, I’m not sure I’d want it any other way.

Him: Thanks for bringing me to the dentist.
Me: Sure thing, but let’s avoid doing that for a while, ok?
Him: Definitely!

Location: meeting the Firecracker for dinner out and about like real adults
Mood: brrrrrrrrrrr
Music: I’m standing right here for you (Spotify)
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Birthdays at Sappe

Not spicy at all

Met up with my college buddies the other night for Cappy and Gar’s birthday.

We’ve been getting together every February to celebrate Gar and Cappy’s birthday since…well, since a few years after we graduated college, way back in 1996 or so.

The first time I mentioned us meeting was back in 2007 in this entry.

Back then, everyone didn’t have a camera with them 24/7 and I also wasn’t sure how much of my life I’d be blogging about.

Some 18 years later, I’m obviously blogging a lot more.

This year, we met up at a joint called Sappe downtown.

Despite a massive snowstorm that night, the place was packed…

…the drinks were killer…

…as was the food.

What’s odd was that the single spiciest thing we ate was this strawberry fruit salad.

Think I ate the most, about six strawberries. And then I was done – my mouth was on fire.

This is saying a lot as about half the table was Korean and they’re no strangers to spicy food.

The rest of the food was spicy but not obscenely so.

Well…

Her: will you try it first? It looks good but I can’t handle much spice.
Me: Sure! (later) It’s not spicy at all.
Her: (takes bite, instant red face) OMG! Are you trying to kill me?? That’s soooooo spicy!
Me: What?! There’s no spice to it. (takes another bite and starts to cough) OMG…I just got a pepper. That is so spicy!
Her: I told you!

Also, chatted up a fella that was there with a whole crew of people celebrating their friend Eli’s 30th – they all wore the same shirt.

Eli has quality friends.

Afterward, we hit up a bar close to the restaurant…

…but had to bolt a bit early because the snow was seriously coming down.

All-in-all, it was a great night. Saw my friends and hung out with my girl.

Not a bad way to start off the new year.

Location: the dentist’s, telling him he’ll be ok
Mood: exhausted
Music: all I want – I promise that it’s not a lie – is to be your friend (Spotify)
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