Tag: relationships

Halloween 2025

Missing every transfer

Me: Hola! We didn’t see you at the Halloween party tonight.
Neighbor: I know! We’re at [our daughter’s] friend’s house. Tradition is ending as kids are getting older.
Me: I get it, but it still bums me out!

For the first time in years, we didn’t go trick-or-treating with our neighbors this year…sorta.

See, we’re actually friends with multiple people and families in the building next door although the family we normally trick-or-treat with are our oldest ones.

In any case, we ended up going – me and the kid and the Firecracker and her kid – and had a grand time as usual.

It’s that whole, The more things change, the more things stay the same, kinda thing.

On that note, we’d not seen Alison’s parents in a while, and I’d also not seen my mom and sis in a while.

So, that Sunday, while the Firecracker ran some errands, the kid and I took the PATH to Hoboken and met up with my SIL where we hitched a ride with her to her parents.

There, we had a really quick lunch with them before my SIL drove us back to Hoboken so we could try and make a train to see my mom.

Him: We spent more time traveling than we did with grandma and grandpa!
Me: (thinking) Yup, that’s true. Four hours traveling but only 90 minutes with them.

We literally *just* missed the train. Crazy how one small change can have such drastic consequences.

Unfortunately, we missed the PATH train by just a couple of minutes but that set off a whole set of cascading consequences that ended up with the Firecracker waiting over two hours for us and my sister and mom, one.

See, because we missed the PATH train, we also missed the straight shot from Penn Station to my mom’s pad.

So, we rush to the subway and caught an N train to try and catch a quick transfer to a 7 train to transfer to another train to see my mom.

But the marathon, which was happening that day, messed alla that up as well.

We ended up missing pretty much every transfer and didn’t end up seeing my family until an hour later.

The Firecracker didn’t say a single word about our being two hours late for her.

Yet another reason why she rocks.

To make it up to her, I let my mom show her a TON of fat pics of me.

Me: You don’t know what a Chinese bowl cut is?
Her: Show me. (looks) It’s just a bowl cut, Logan. Just because you’re Chinese doesn’t make it a Chinese bowl cut. Is your toothbrush a Chinese toothbrush because you use it?
Me: I don’t think I like your tone right now.

Did I ever mention to you that she was a drummer for years?

Well, she also showed the kid and his cousins some of the basics of that.

It was a fun, if not completely exhausting, day.

In any case, because of daylight savings time, it felt like midnight when we got home but…

Me: I can’t believe it’s only 8:30PM.
Her: I know. I’m exhausted. I need a nap.
Me: Nap?! I was on eight trains and three cars today across two states. I’m going to bed.
Her: Aw, does my old man need to go to bed?
Me: OMG, yes.

Location: tonight, my local polling station, enjoying democracy…for now
Mood: exhausted
Music: you’re right where you’re supposed to be (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags family, good things, relationships

personal

When you know…

…you know

A dear friend wrote me outta the blue one morning.

Her: Hola! You’re probably sleeping but I wanted to see if you and [The Firecracker] are doing anything on the 29th. This guy I’m dating, who apparently is my boyfriend, is taking me to dinner in the city. He’s inviting you both to join.
Me: What?! Yes! And…what!?

I’ve known her a solid 17 years and have never met anyone she’s ever dated, let alone someone she’s called her boyfriend.

So, I moved a buncha things around and the two of us met up with her and her fella at Aqua, downtown.

He was actually a super nice fella and seemed a touch nervous, which I found pretty sweet.

Me: How did you two meet?
Friend: (rolls her eyes) How do you think, Logan?
Me: Ah, the traditional online meet-cute.
Firecracker: Logan wanted to make the best first impression so he ate a full dinner before dinner.
Me: This is true, I had to pregame with a burger and salad.

Of course, this didn’t stop me from finishing my entire meal.

As well as the Firecracker’s.

And my friend’s.

And…

Him: I actually only wanted half the pizza.
Me: Are you sure?
Friend: Just eat it, Logan, you know you want to.
Me: (shrugging) Hokay.
Firecracker: I honest-to-god don’t know where he puts it all. I always say that he’s got a peg leg.

Turns out that he’s only in town for a (very) long-term work project but hinted that he was open to moving to the area for her.

Friend: (joking) I don’t know why he’s so into me.
Me: Oh, I get it.
Firecracker: Me too – when you know you know.

This isn’t to say that they’re guaranteed to end up together – although the Firecracker and I really liked him and hope they work out – but it’s definitely worlds easier when both parties are really into each other.

Afterward, we went to Thyme Bar where I bought a round of drinks before heading back.

The drinks were delicious and insanely strong.

On the ride back, the Firecracker and I got to talking; we both agreed that we felt a spark the moment we met and saw each other almost every day for weeks.

Me: The thing is that, when I met you, I wanted to see you as much as possible because the worst type of disappointment is the kind that takes months to figure out.
Her: (nodding) Same. I wanted to know as soon as possible as well.

Said it before, the worst part about dating is the constant disappointment and disappointing.

Here’s hoping they make their spark last.

Firecracker: (reading over my shoulder as I write this) Like us!
Me: (laughing) Agreed.

Location: home, listening to the dulcet sounds of TWO jackhammers right outside my door
Mood: Jackhammered
Music: And I want you to want to be here with me (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags family, friends, good things, love, meeting people in NYC, New York City, NYC, relationships, social commentary

personal

A short trip north

Cornell Chicken

Both the Firecracker’s kid and my kid are back for a little bit.

My kid came back first, so he and I had a little lunch together just so we could chat and catch up.

Me: So, how was it with your cousins?
Him: Good!
Me: (nodding) Anything else?

And then once the Firecracker’s kid came back, I took them both out to eat, since we’ve not really had a chance to hang out over the summer.

Me: So, how has your summer been, kiddo?
FCSon: Good!
Me: (nodding) These are good talks we’re all having.

An actual good I had recently was with my old buddy Buckley regarding the entry I wrote the other day, and he invited us to go see him.

Him: The weather is finally getting better. My offer to visit our hood remains open! From now through November will be prime weather.
Me: 100%! Hey, both boys are here this Sunday if you’re around? No pressure if you’re not but I wanted to ask.
Him: That could work!

So, that weekend, we took the train up to their neck of the state.

Buckley actually made Cornell Chicken, which is something I’ve always wanted to try.

Ironically, the day after, I came across this article from my old company that wrote about the history of it and why it’s so good.

Him: It was actually invented by the same food scientist that invent chicken nuggets.
Me: (laughing) Perfect because FCSon is like 79% chicken nuggets by volume.

While the adults were catching up, the kids were playing on a zipline that Buckley installed for his kids.

Me: Buckley is the only person I would trust to put up a zipline (he was an engineer in college).
Buckley’s Wife: Oh yeah, he did everything the right way.
Me: (nodding) Having lived with him alla these years, I believe that.

Told his kids that I’d known their father longer than I’d NOT known him, which is a kick in the head.

The zipline was a nice distraction from the screens…albeit short-lived.

We hung out a bit longer before we took the train home as the dark clouds were looming.

Her: Just think about it, Logan. If we lived in a house, the boys could have a zipline and you could have a grill.
Me: Compelling arguments. But let’s see after the boys head off to college.

Location: Please don’t tell…
Mood: fatty-fat-fat
Music: We’d play pretend in the suburbs (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags family, friends, good things, relationships, traveling

personal

Another school year almost over

Post author By Logan Lo
Post date 2025/06/22
No Comments on Another school year almost over

Still showing up

Him: Are you sure you’re gonna come?
Me: I haven’t missed one yet, have I?
Him: No…I just wanted to make sure.

It’s been super busy here for a multitude of reasons, least of which is that the kid is winding up his school year.

This means that there’s one event after another, of varying degrees of entertainment.

The first was his end of year recital, where he played a cover of Billie Eilish’s Lovely on the guitar.

I should mention that the Firecracker’s never missed a single one – which is something considering that not all the kids were as talented as mine.

She’s the best, truly.

As for the song he chose, I’d never heard the song before and it was pretty maudlin, which was a bit concerning.

But, he did a great job and was pretty jazzed about it, so I just enjoyed it for what it was worth.

The next was his dance recital, which was absolutely adorbs.

I couldn’t get a good clean shot for video, but another parent was able to get some vids of them dancing.

Another one was the kid’s last publishing party, where the parents come in and check out all the artistic stuff that the kids were working on for the past few months.

I brought a huge jug of Dunkin coffee; several of the other parents brought a ton of delish looking carbs.

I’m proud to say that I didn’t have any but, man, did I want to.

In any case, with the portfolio of work due in just over a week, it’s been stressful around here.

Really didn’t have the 2-3 hours to spare this morning on top of the previous two events I went to.

But I told you once that it’s so important for little kids to have their parents show up to things. And there’s no “parents” here, it’s just me.

So, I showed up.

Gotta say, it was sweet to see him so happy to see me in the classroom.

There were another three or four events that were also end-of-year related but I’ll tell you about those in the next entry.

Location: Hoboken, playing Codenames and dreaming of more food
Mood: hot and bothered
Music: Always in my head space but I know some day I’ll make it out of here (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags family, good things, music video, parenting, relationships, video

personal

As fine a legacy

The richest people

I’m 26 in that picture above. Half my current age.

When Alison was here, I used to do most of the cooking. And with the Firecracker, I cook most dinners.

It’s because Alison and The Firecracker both preferred cleaning to cooking.

But there are so many dishes that I wish I coulda made for everyone, but I just don’t have the recipe.

Me: I wish I wrote down some of my dad’s recipes. But I was so fucked up at the time.
Firecracker: You did the best you could with what you had. And just leave it at that.
Me: Thanks for saying that.
Her: Anytime. And it’s true.

My kid let me sleep in – like, seriously, sleep in – for Father’s Day, which I really appreciated.

It gave me time to just stay in bed and think about my dad.

I mention him a lot in this blog, but I wanted to share another story to give you some idea of what he was all about.

When I was a kid, I rarely saw him. He was out the door to job number 1 before I woke up for school, which meant that he was already up, dressed, and ready for the day by 7AM.

And I was usually in bed by 9PM but I didn’t see him because he went to school at night to try to better himself.

This left my mom home to cook and clean for us. We were poor so we almost never ate out or had take out anything.

She cooked 3-4 meals a day, because she also had to cook something for my dad at the crack of dawn.

When my dad retired, decades later, my mom was working. And he told her that she would never have to cook again.

He explained it to me once.

Him: Your mom stayed home to take care of the house so that I could work and make money for us. I told her that, because I have time now, I’ll do all the cooking and cleaning now while she’s working because it’s only fair.

And he did.

For at least the last decade-and-a-half of his life, he cooked every single meal he could for her.

He also wouldn’t let her clean up afterward.

That was the deal.

This was taken in 2002, 23 years ago when my life was so very different.

That’s who my dad was; he was a feminist and a liberal in many ways, without ever saying either word in his lifetime, I don’t think.

He just was madly in love with my mom, I think. And he innately believed in fairness.

He wasn’t without his faults, just like the rest of us, but when it came to his wife and family, he was the kinda guy we all wish we could be.

I miss his terribly, on this Father’s Day and every day.

I hope that what he gave me, I can give the kid so that the kid can give it to his family.

Suppose that’s as fine a legacy as anything.

Location: the couch, with the kid, watching Charlie Brown
Mood: nostalgic
Music: you wouldn’t have to say (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags family, good things, human condition, love, relationships

personal

Showerheads and Siblings

Main Character Syndrome

Reading about the psychopath that blew up the IVF center in California gave me so many mixed emotions, least of which this asshole decided his opinion of the world trumped everyone else’s opinion of the world.

I don’t get how people think it’s ok, or even reasonable, to force their worldviews on others.

Like, that’s the ultimate in main character syndrome I can imagine.

But I digress.

Perfect Circles dropped me a line recently.

Her: Pregnant again! Number three joining us in August. Plainly we’ve lost our minds but it just felt like the gang wasn’t all here yet.
Me: That’s amazing, congrats!! Oh man, that was my dream, to have three kids. Alison only ever wanted to have two. Sigh.

Told her that I was thrilled for her, which is true.

But then that got me thinking: I’ve got a few embryos out in the world that I’m still struggling to figure out what to do with.

I’ve always wanted another child but that doesn’t appear to be in the cards.

In any case, one idea was to donate them to couples in need – ie, a couple that can’t produce a child on their own.

I seriously considered it in the past, but there’s an interesting phenomenon where people that are biologically related – a fact that they often don’t know initially – find each other and fall in love.

There’re a buncha stories like this:

- Reddit reported revealed that a woman found out her six-year relationship with her boyfriend was really a six-year relationship with her biological brother after taking a DNA.
- A Mississippi couple found out that – not only were they brother and sister – they were also twins!
- A lesbian couple have suspicions that they might be half-siblings but plan on remaining a couple.
- A couple from Brazil – with a six-year-old child – found out that they were actually brother and sister, both of whom were abandoned by their mother as children. The kicker is that they found this out together and live on the radio.

It’s not hard to see how they might fall in love; after all, we’re equal parts nature and nurture.

In fact, you can see how a hypothetical conversation might go:

Him: I love 80s music.
Her: Me too, my favourite band is Duran Duran.
Him: OMG, me too! I went to their last concert in London back in 2022.
Her: Wait, I was there too!

I’d read about this phenomenon ages ago but I was recently reminded of it when I visited my sister the other day.

I never told her that I fixed my bathroom but when I went to use her newly renovated bathroom, I found out that:

We both picked the same shower head – in the same colour to boot!

The one on the left is my sisters and mine is on the right. They’re the same colour – it’s just the lighting that makes it look different.

AND we picked the exact same tiles!

These are hers…

…and these are mine.

Again, we both did our bathrooms without discussing it with the other.

Anywho, yeah, I don’t think I’ll give those embryos away…

Location: the wet rain
Mood: brrrrrrr
Music: Tell me all the things that you like (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags discussion, family, human condition, interesting facts, observations, relationships, social commentary, tiny wisdom

personal

Something about Mary (Elizabeth Sawyer)

Post author By Logan Lo
Post date 2025/05/06
1 Comment on Something about Mary (Elizabeth Sawyer)

Feeling it acutely

This little girl named Mary Elizabeth Sawyer was born in 1806 and she led a fairly unremarkable life except for two things:

1. She had a little lamb, whose fleece was white – as white as snow, in fact. And this little lamb followed Mary everywhere.
2. Her friend, John Roulstone, upon seeing this, was so amused, he wrote her a poem about it.

Image via Art and Picture Collection, The New York Public Library.

The poem went:

Mary had a little lamb;
Its fleece was white as snow;
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.

It followed her to school one day,
Which was against the rule;
It made the children laugh and play
To see a lamb at school.

And so the teacher turned it out;
But still it lingered near,
And waited patiently about
Till Mary did appear.

There’s some question as to the validity of all this, but I like to believe it.

See, almost everyone in America has heard about Mary, knew her situation, and remembered her little lamb that she loved so much, and that loved her so much.

But I’m struck that everyone forgot that Mary was a real person, with all her hopes and dreams, and people – and animals – that loved her deeply.

Even if the poem wasn’t actually Mary Elizabeth Sawyer, the hope is that Mary was a real person, and this was a real thing.

This coming week will be both Alison’s birthday and Mother’s Day.

Again and like always.

And the anniversary of her death is coming up as well.

Every May I struggle with the void that she left after she died.

As hard as that is, it’s even harder for the kid, who – year-after-year – feels the loss a touch more acutely than the previous year.

Moreover, I worry that she’ll just be a distant idea to him, like Mary.

Like, I picture her in my head like the picture above while I think that my son pictures her like the blurry main picture of this entry.

It’s her but it’s…blurry.

Then again, it’s always good to be remembered in some positive way.

Whether that be in a children’s rhyme or a blog that almost no one reads.

I’ll probably write more later, but I just wanted you to know that the Lo household was thinking about her this May, like we do every May.

And like I always do.

Him: Papa! Did you know that there’s a country called Burkina Faso? Isn’t that a cool name?
Me: It is! Did you know that mommy used to go there all the time?
Him: She did? Why?
Me: She worked for a place called Helen Keller and was always trying to help people. That’s one of the things that I always loved about her. She was always trying to help people – she was such a good person, kiddo. Maybe, when you grow up, you can help people like she did.
Him: I will!
Me: (nodding) She’d love that. She would have loved that. And you.

Location: home, worried about the weekend
Mood: concerned
Music: A few years had gone and come around (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags family, friends, human condition, love, relationships, troubles

personal

Meathearts

Post author By Logan Lo
Post date 2025/03/30
No Comments on Meathearts

Hearts, but not the chicken kind

Me: Has there ever been a thing I’ve made that you truly disliked?
Her: The chicken hearts.
Me: Was it the flavor, the consistency, or the general thought of them?
Her: Yes

Had to pick something up from someone in my nabe the other day and I laughed when I got to her door.

I live on the upper level of a small building and I’m always telling people to go UPSTAIRS and not DOWNSTAIRS to deliver or pick up anything.

Nine times outta 10, they’ll ignore or miss that information, and I’ll have to come to outside to get them from the downstairs area.

I’m guessing that this lady had something similar with people ringing the wrong doorbell.

The Firecracker is getting used to being with someone that enjoys cooking.

We have this arrangement, similar to mine with Alison, where one person cooks and the other cleans.

It’s been working out well.

Made her some Chinese tomatoes and eggs the other day and she was skeptical, but she and the kids loved it.

On that note, I’ve been watching this channel called Made by Lau, which I use to supplement the recipes that my mom and dad taught me.

Like all home cooks, my parents never had any recipes – they just knew how to make dishes, so the website gives me better measurements and ideas for changes.

Speaking of food, I forgot to mention that the Firecracker got me a heart-shaped box for St. Valentine’s Day last month.

Except – like the previous year – it was fulla dried meats.

Man, that girl knows me so well…

Location: the kitchen, making some killer ribs with her
Mood: stuffed and content
Music: There might be a part of me that I won’t let you keep (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags discussion, good things, relationships

personal

Memory Lane

Post author By Logan Lo
Post date 2025/03/11
2 Comments on Memory Lane

Not that there’s anything wrong with that

After the Firecracker and I came back from her surprise shower, we then dashed off to our local dive bar – Malachy’s – and met up with my old roomie, Buckley.

We actually lived in the same dorm waaaaaay back in 1991 (!) and kept in touch after I left.

When he moved into the city, he and I became roomies and, after a few years, he and I bought our apartment together.

I remember that my dad had questions.

Dad: You…and Buckley…are buying an apartment? Together?
Me: Yeah, why?
Him: Well…is there anything else you wanna tell me?
Me: (puzzled) No, why? (thinking) OMG! No, we’re just friends. And poor. We’re poor friends. We can’t afford a place alone, so we need to pool our money together.
Him: Oh…
Me: (quickly) Not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re just poor.

This is us in 1998, right before we bought the place.

I dunno what we were thinking with those sweaters or my goatee.

In any case, we met up at Malachy’s because that and Big Nick’s – which is where the main picture was taken – were the two greasy spoon dives that we always went to.

It’s weird. He looks like him just…older. And I’m the same.

We were literally kids when we met – like 17. And now his son is not that far off from the age when we first met.

And I’ve been chatting with Rain a lot these days.

He’s just dealing with some real estate issues and that’s kinda what I do.

That’s a pic of us back in 1998 downtown. I think at a joint called Stingy Lulu‘s (or Yaffa Cafe).

Big Nick’s is long gone – it closed back in 2013 and I wrote about it. I remember chatting with Alison about it.

Stingy Lulu’s has been gone for decades – as has Yaffa Cafe.

The thing about being 51 in 2025 is that I don’t really have any pictures or videos of some of the most seminal moments of my life.

This was a little bit after he moved out and Alison moved in.

Because, back then, cameras were crappy and usually just film or – in my case – crappy digital.

Did you know that your memories aren’t replayed, they’re reconstructed each and every time you remember them?

That means that every time you remember thing, there’s a (high) chance you’ll alter that memory a bit and those alterations keep piling up until you can’t trust your own memories anymore?

And that’s why I wish I had better pictures/videos to remember my possible pasts with.

Luckily, I have my friends to help me remember those memories.

Me: He was a quant at Long Term Capital, right?
Him: No, he was a programmer – he was on his way to being a quant when it imploded.
Me: Gotcha – I didn’t know that.

Unfortunately, I don’t have Alison here to remember the memories that mattered the very most to me.

Ah, fuck…

This is what my room looked like when it was just me and Buckley – two bachelors in the city.

A dragonfly from this entry in 2008. I have questions about that day but no one to ask.

Location: this morning, looking up therapists for various reasons
Mood: messy
Music: saw my life in a strangers face and it was mine (Spotify)
Subscribe!
Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.

Tags family, friends, good things, human condition, interesting facts, New York City, nostalgia, NYC, relationships, social commentary

personal

So, I did a thing

Past, Present, and Future

I rushed out the door of my in-laws because the Firecracker was all by her lonesome for Xmas.

For various reasons, she’s spent a lotta Christmases alone and I didn’t want her to have to do it again.

In any case, the train into the city was standing-room-only packed and this French woman was behind me and her teenage son – who was sniffling and coughing – was in front of me speaking to her with me in the middle of them.

I’m gonna get so sick, I thought.