Tag: relationships

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Meet the Firecracker

Sweating her like a summer day

Years ago, I was chatting with a female friend of mine and she said that she and her parents were having a bit of a disagreement.

Her parents wanted her to stop bringing by every guy she ever dated home.

Me: I would think they’d wanna meet who their daughter is dating.
Her: They do. The issue is that they end up liking them and then they disappear and are never seen again.
Me: Well, stop being such a tramp.
Her: (laughing) Logan!

This pic is from this entry.

Sometimes, I feel like I do that to alla you.

I tell you about some very nice woman that I’m seeing, and I have a few entries about her and then she disappears, never to be seen again.

But, because of the nature of this blog and the nature of this Logan Lo, that can’t really be helped.

On the flip side, some women I hang out with positively don’t want to be mentioned whatsoever in the blog.

So, it all kinda works out, because people tend to come and go from my Venn Diagram alla time, and I try to leave people with their anonymity.

This pic is from this entry.

That is, until someone stays.

First told you about the Firecracker in the beginning of 2023 in this entry.

In that entry, I called her an “effervescent blonde from my neighborhood…[s]he found something familiar about me and I, her.”

Some 20 months later, that’s still true and she’s still around – I’m equally thrilled about both of those facts.

For the most part.

Her: Do you want to go on a run with me?
Me: Are you mad at me or something?

This pic is from this entry.

The longer people stay in my Venn Diagram, the harder it is for me to untangle them from my life.

And, by now, all my friends and family have met the Firecracker so there’s even less reason to keep her outta this blog.

Well, her face, anywho.

Besides, she has such a pretty face that it’s shame not to show it off.

Me: So, what do you think? Post a pic with your face?
Her: Well, I suppose your readers are mostly normal and pretty nice. OK. Let’s do it.

So, meet the Firecracker:

This pic is from this entry.

Me: I often look at couples and have a hard time figuring out if they’re dating or father-daughter.
Her: I wonder if people look at us and think that.
Me: With my youthful looks?!
Her: I’m obviously joking since you’re Chinese and I’m not.
Me: That PLUS my youthful looks, yeah?
Her: OMG, how are you this vain?
Me: Practice, really.

There’s this song I’ve been talking about with you for close to two decades now – Starsailor’s Good Souls.

Evidently, I’ve referenced it at least 31 times in this blog thus far, with the first mention of it way back in 2007 when I went on my big European trip.

While I think the Firecracker is gobsmackingly beautiful, it really is her good soul that I’m most attracted to.

After all, everything else fades but (not-being-a-) douchebag is forever.

Her quick wit and humor certainly helps.

Her: (looking at my summer wear) You look like John Travolta from the 70s!
Me: I am from the 70s!

This pic is from this entry.

We have our issues, of course, but even there, she’s uniquely kind.

For example, after a major fight we had, she bought a couples counseling session and followed up with an assignment for both of us to read: Talk to me like I’m someone you love, which is honestly a great book for any couple to read.

I mean, even that title alone would be an amazing thing to say in an argument – I know this because she has with me.

I said once before that the best description of love is by the author of The Little Prince:

Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.

To love is not to look at one another: it is to look, together, in the same direction.

It’s surprising how much an old Chinese man from NYC and a much younger southern belle from North Carolina sees the world in the same way.

I suppose that is a great foundation for any good relationship.

Her: Do you love me?
Me: Come on, I sweat you like a summer day.
Her: I don’t know what that means. (thinking) I wish you’d say it sometimes.
Me: (laughing) Sure thing, Firecracker. Of course I love you.

This pic is from this entry.

admin note: Taking Monday off for Labour Day so I’ll see you on the 4th.

Location: earlier today, at 68 and WEA meeting a woman for USB cards for the kid
Mood: hopeful and fulla fried chix
Music: One good day of the week, I’ll be higher than the government (Spotify)
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Tigers with different stripes, Pt 2

The best five days of my life

The other thing about my dad/family was something else that I also learned in Cornell: When I took my first Chinese language class, the teacher asked how to say “maternal grandmother” in Chinese.

I confidently said, “阿婆 (ā pó)” but was corrected, it was “外婆 (wàipó).”

I’d never heard of 外婆 (wàipó) before, we never used that term nor had I ever heard it before.

Me: I was so embarrassed that I got that wrong. Why didn’t we use the right way of saying it for [mom’s mom]?
Father: Do you know what 外婆 means? It means “outside grandmother.” That’s what you call the wife’s mother because, in Chinese culture, the mother’s family and side doesn’t count – they’re outsiders and not really part of the family. That’s wrong, I think, and offensive. Your mom’s family is as much a part of our family as mine is.

For all my dad’s traditions and pressure, he was a decent and fair man and that story perfectly encapsulates him.

It was a simple but profound thing, which makes sense as he was both a simple and profound man.

And I think that a major reason the three of us – my sister, brother, and myself – have been so successful in life.

Moreso than the education and the accolates.

Because I suppose we always knew that, no matter what, our parents loved us and always would.

That’s a powerful comfort in an uncomfortable world and something that I hope I give my own kid.

Yeah, if there’s one thing that I’d like to pass on from my dad to my own kid, it’s that.

My dad died August 24th, 2017, seven years ago this week.

I love him every bit right now as I did seven years ago and always will.

Even though, at times, I wonder if he knew.

Me: (angrily) Yeah, well, you wait. My kid is gonna be successful and happy. It won’t matter to me if he goes to an ivy league or not.
Him: You’re threatening me with a happy and successful grandkid? (laughing) Go ahead. Because that’s exactly what I want too. When you’re a dad yourself, you’ll understand. I’m trying to keep you all safe.

And, of course, I totally care if he makes it into an ivy league or not.

Just maybe – maybe – not quite as much.

Did you know that no two tigers have the same stripes?

A tiger’s pattern is as unique as human fingerprints AND not only is a tiger’s fur striped, but its skin is also striped as well.

It has hidden beauties you wouldn’t know about while it was alive.

This also means that every tiger is different from every other tiger, despite all outward appearances.

My dad may have been Chinese, but he was so different in many ways and uniquely mine.

I wish he was still here.

But I suppose you already knew that.

The picture above is the day my parents met my son.

It’s one of only a handful of pictures I have with all three of them.

The main picture is another of the few – precious – images I have of my father with my son.

I have none with him, Alison, and my son. Zero fucking pictures.

Not a single goddamn one.

And everything went to shit after that picture.

But, for a moment in time, that was the happiest I ever was because my entire family was alive and happy for five days.

I didn’t yet know that would be all I would ever get. Ever.

Those were the best five days of my life.

What a shitty truth it is that the lucky never realize they are lucky until it’s too late. 

Location: yesterday and today, bars. Drinking it all away.
Mood: cautious
Music: I’ve got memories and travel like gypsies in the night (Spotify)
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I’m the healthiest unhealthy person

Proving my point

Me: Did you grow up with a Good Humor or Mr. Softie?
Her: Neither. Just some guy in truck selling ice cream.
Me: That sounds like a child abduction plot.
Her: (rolling eyes) It was just a guy in a white truck.
Me: You’re kinda proving my point here.

It’s been so hot around here lately that I don’t want to really do anything but that’s not fair for the Firecracker, who’s young and wants to actually go out and enjoy life.

Me? I’m loathe to leave the pad unless strictly required.

We were gonna go on another cruise, or even head to Taiwan for the summer but stuff happened to change our plans, which is a post for another time.

So, like I said in my last entry, we compromise by just getting drinks and food around the way.

Ergo, we’ve been hitting up different bars in the hood, including our usual place for frozen drinks with umbrellas…

…local Chinese joint with awesome happy hours…

…and fried carbs.

Plus, a bar with great burgers and games.

All-in-all, it’s not a bad way to spend a summer – hot chick, great air conditioning, and greasy bar food.

Her: Burgers aren’t really my thing.
Me: God, the kid and I love burgers. I could eat them every day. Well, I supposed I’d have to balance it out with a salad every other day.
Her: I’m glad you recognize that.
Me: Yeah. I’m the healthiest unhealthy person you know.

Location: My childhood neighborhood with the Firecracker and the Frenchman and his family
Mood: injured
Music: don’t know why sometimes we seem so apart (Spotify)
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The ladies group

Laughably large

After the kid’s recital, a classmate of the kid, the other kid’s family, the Firecracker, and my MIL all went to get dinner at Jacob’s Pickles, which I mentioned in passing to you over a decade ago.

I’d gone there twice before, this time marking my third time.

Me: I can really only come here every five years because it’s so carby and the portions are so large.
Him: How large?
Me: Laughably. You’ll see.

Now, I can pack away a lotta protein, fat, and fiber but something about carbs really fills me up fast.

Because he just did his recital, told the kid he could get anything he wanted so he asked for the chicken and pancakes, which are ginormous.

We split that and hardly made a dent in it.

Also, I ordered the 32 oz hard apple cider – all for my lonesome – which was a mistake.

Me: We have to walk home.
Her: Why?
Me: We gotta work off alla this food.

Now, the Mother’s Group – whom I’ve not seen in years just because one member moved to Taiwan and the others had kids that went to different schools – were meeting up at the pier by the Hudson River so we went there next.

I find it funny – and kinda sweet – that when the ladies write everyone, including me, they just write, “Ladies…”

Look, I’m just happy to be included.

By the time the kid, the Firecracker, and I finally arrived, they’d been there for hours.

But I was able to catch up with everyone.

Me: You spent COVID in Taiwan? How was it?
Her: It was awesome! Totally normal.
Me: Oh man, that was not my experience at all.

It was super late when we all got home.

Firecracker: Your friends are all really nice.
Me: I like to think so.

The kid had his school party, the recital, the dinner, and this last get together all on the same day, so he crashed hard.

I hope he’s creating good memories for himself.

Think that’s all any parent really hopes for outta this kinda stuff.

Location: my gym, testing out my wrist
Mood: less(ish) injured
Music: Maybe he’ll see a little better set of days (Spotify)
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Memorial Day 2024

New Traditions

For the third year in a row, went to see my college buddies out in Long Island for a Memorial Day BBQ at Gar and Wynn’s.

Like I’ve been saying lately, really do appreciate all of these new traditions that the boy and I have these days.

So, the Firecracker, her kid, my kid, and I, all headed out to see everyone.

The trip was uneventful but it was nice having both kids come for the first time.

We ran into my buddy Cappy and his family on the train when we got out and, within 30 minutes, alla the kids were living their best lives in the pool.

My kid and the Firecracker’s kid were having a blast as well.

But I was mainly focused on the food…

…which was seriously plentiful, as always.

Pretty much ate nonstop the whole time I was there.

Him: We also ordered a three-foot sub.
Me: Sweeeeeet! What’s everyone else gonna eat?

For my birthday, my buddy Thor got me a killer bottle of Clase Azul Reposado Tequila.

Now, I’m not normally a tequila drinker but, damn if it wasn’t the smoothest tequila I’d ever had in my life.

So, I ended up buy a few bottles as gifts because it’s such a pretty bottle and brought one of them with me.

Her: Are we shooting these?
Me: Absolutely not! It’s too good to shoot!

For her part, the Firecracker took some Patron and made Palomas for everyone.

It seemed as soon as we finished one course of food, a new course of stuff came out.

Of course, the kids stuck to the classics.

There was even a crawfish boil but, by then, I was pretty stuffed.

Him: Damn, Logan, where do you put it all?
Me: It’s all about believing in yourself.

Like the past couplea years, Cappy brought dessert – a killer apple pie…

…and a matcha cream pie that I’d never had before but enjoyed so much that I ate the entire slice myself.

Now, the weather the day before and the day after was just the pits but that day, the weather was just perfect.

But the kids were getting tired, so we finally left, along with Cappy and his family as well.

Some 12 hours after we first left the pad, we walked back into the pad.

Him: I’m so tired, do I have to take a shower?
Me: (gently) Yeah, kid. But you’ll sleep like a brick tonight.
Him: (tired) OK, if you say so…

He really did.

Like I said, I really appreciate these new traditions we have.

Here’s hoping the kid appreciates it too.

As an aside, we took the 10-Story Escalator – the largest in the MTA system in NYC right now – at Grand Central.

Man, even sped up 10X, this thing was crazy long.

Location: 5:55 PM tonight – a playground with my laughing kid
Mood: injured
Music: Swimming in our clothes when the beach was closed (Spotify)
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A Birthday Celebration for the Firecracker

Old and Crotchety

Her: One day, someone’s gonna look at the two of us and think, “What is that young-looking person doing with that old-looking person.”
Me: I’ll still think you’re beautiful, even when you’re old-looking.
Her: I was talking about you! You’re the old one in that scenario.
Me: (laughing) Let’s not be ridiculous here. I don’t age. 

It was the Firecracker’s birthday the other day.

Since both kids were around, I just got some ramen for everyone.

She wanted a cake but I’m trying to avoid carbs – yes, I had some ramen, just go with it – so we compromised with a huge cupcake for her and a slice of cake for the boys.

But we were thwarted in our attempts to go low(er)-carb for her birthday when her office gave her a dozen donuts.

I mighta eaten a few before I took the pic below.

It’s gonna be my own birthday soon.

51. What a kick in the head.

Then again, it’s better than the alternative.

Her: Look, when you’re old and crotchy, and complaining about something you read in the papers, the gubernatorial race, or obnoxious kids, I’m still going to be young and vibrant.
Me: I’ll most likely be reading reddit, but otherwise: Accurate.

Location: earlier today, Central Park, playing hooky with the boy
Mood: hungry, what else?
Music: So what, we’re a littlе drunk, let’s go home togethеr (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Winston-Salem Pt. 2 – Thanks, Sugar!

Walking down Memory Lane

The next day, we got up bright and early to meet the Firecracker’s mom at a joint on the same block as our hotel called Heff’s Burger Club.

Me: They have diet Mountain Dew!
Her: It’s the south; we have diet Mountain Dew.

The Firecracker’s sister and BIL were both there and they’re both foodies so they suggested the joint.

Firecracker’s mom: I’ll sit next to Logan.
Me: Good life choice there, lady.

She was very nice, but didn’t like to take pictures so I wasn’t able to really capture much.

I ordered a full burger but I was still pretty hungry.

From my window in my hotel room, I’d noticed a hot chicken place across from my hotel.

Her: You want more food?
Firecracker: He’s always hungry, mom.

So, while they all enjoyed the gorgeous weather – it was close to the 80s – I had myself a medium-spice level chicken.

BIL: How is it?
Me: I shoulda ordered the mild; the first one was fine but the heat builds up and now I’m sweating.

Sweating, but enjoying my hot chix.

I woulda had more though…

…but we had other places to be.

Firecracker: We have to get some Krispy Kreme.
Me: Why?
Her: This is where they were created – Winston-Salem.
Me: Sold!

So, off we went.

The sign that indicated that the donuts were hot was turned off…

…but it turned out that they had just finished making a batch, so we ordered some hot ones.

I brought the peanut butter, knowing there would be a ton of sweets down south.

To say that it was good would be a massive understatement.

But I limited myself to “just” two.

Her: You’re on vacation.
Me: This is you being an enabler.

The Firecracker snapped a pic of me wearing one the paper hats.

I wanted to get her mom some flowers for the next day, so we stopped by a Walmart.

Her: What are you doing?
Me: $5 for two cubic feet of dirt? That’s a bargain.
Her: You’re buying dirt?! To bring home to NYC? From Winston-Salem North Carolina?!
Me: Evidently.

And I did.

We then drove by her old home…

Her: It’s been like 20 years since I’ve come here.
Me: How are you doing?
Her: I’m feeling some kinda way.

There’s more to that, but that’s her story to tell, so I’ll end that part here.

Afterward, we went to her high school, where she snapped the below picture.

Me: Imagine if I went here!
Her: You were already outta law school when this place was built.
Me: That wasn’t really necessary to point out.

Afterward, we met up with her BIL and sister again for drinks at the West Salem Public House, where I tried – and failed – to climb a tree.

See the pic on the bottom.

So, we just drank instead.

Of course, I got hungry so I dashed off to get some soul food but they closed as soon as I got there.

Me: Shoot – is there any place you can recommend?
Her: East of Texas across the lot is pretty popular.
Me: OK, but I just want you to know that I wanted you guys first.
Her: (laughs) Ah, thanks, sugar!

That’s where we closed out the night, with me stuffing myself silly.

All-in-all, it was a good second day there.

I’ll probably wrap this whole thing up in another entry or two, so I’ll see you in the next one.

Probably two more.

I eat a lot.

Location: Warby Parker in the UWS and Columbus, picking up two eclipse glasses for the eclipse this coming Monday
Mood: injured
Music: Something bout you really feels like home (Spotify)
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I eat shadows

and do other things with rainbows

An old friend of mine reached out to me the other day.

Her: I thought of you. I thought, “If Logan could survive everything he survived, I can survive this.”
Me: (nodding) You totally can. Even when we don’t wanna survive things, we do. We’re meant to struggle and scuffle until we’re breathless and weak.
Her: (sadly) I trusted him. I can’t believe that he did this. I keep wondering if I…
Me: You didn’t do anything wrong. This is a him problem, not a you problem.
Her: But…he’s my life.
Me: You lived a solid 32 years without knowing he existed. How could someone you’ve known seven outta 38 years be your entire life?
Her: (sighing) You’re right. I know you’re right. (laughing) When did you get so smart?
Me: Sometime in the mid-90s I think.
Her: It still amazes us that you’re still here.
Me: It amazes me too. Somehow, I’ve learned to eat shadows and shit rainbows.
Her: (laughs, takes a deep breath, then sighs)

Location: looking for a Level 4 ballistic plate in a playground
Mood: irritated
Music: Running from your bad decisions (Spotify)
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A year with the Firecracker

Being in it

Her: Are things like anniversaries important to you?
Me: (thinking) Hmmm, not particularly. You?
Her: Very. But I get it if it’s not to you.
Me: If it matters to you, it matters to me.

The thing with dating in NYC is that there are (a) so many options that it’s easy to think that there’s something better out there for you and (b) that fact also means that you’re always questioning if you’re being too picky.

Close to two years ago, my therapist told me that I wasn’t giving people enough of a chance, mainly because I go on a single date and then bail.

So, I tried dating several people for longer than I normally wouda.

Everyone was quite nice and each had her definite strong points but I couldn’t shake the feeling that they weren’t right for me.

Enter the Firecracker.

From the moment I met her, I felt like I knew her.

Fast forward a year and we went out the other day to celebrate our one-year anniversary of when we met.

It was sweet that it mattered to her, so I took her out to eat the other night at a Thai restaurant that we’ve both wanted to check out for a while now.

For me, one of the signs that a relationship is struggling is when you spend more time discussing the relationship versus just being in the relationship.

It’s been a long time since I was just in a relationship versus arguing about it.

Of course, she and I aren’t perfect, we do bicker at times.

But, more than anything, we see the world very similarly.

Her: Can we stop talking about the relationship and just be in the relationship?
Me: That’d be great, actually.
Her: I’m not perfect. I’m gonna make mistakes.
Me: No, you’re not perfect. (thinking) But you might be perfect for me.
Her: (sighs, smiles)

Location: yesterday, a snowy slope with four boys, three sleds, and one Firecracker
Mood: so full
Music: I was making jokes and you politely laughed (I appreciated that) (Spotify)
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Of all the weird things

You’re my favourite

The Firecracker got me a Christmas ornament without realizing how much I value them.

And that’s kinda is why we get along so well – we see the world the same way.

Her: What do you think?
Me: I love it.
Her: Really? It’s true, you know. You are my favourite weird thing I’ve found online.
Me: (laughing) Same.

Location: at a bar with a deadly past – with her and the kids
Mood: so full
Music: I was making jokes and you politely laughed. I appreciated that (Spotify)
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