The Firecracker’s kid and my kid had a grand time.
With us taking the light rail…
…and PATH afterward, which both boys got a kick outta.
As for me, I liked the rando artwork everywhere in Jersey City and Hoboken.
Me: Did you have a fun time? Him: Yes! Can we do it all again next week? Me: (laughing) It’s not really up to me, but I’m sure we’ll find something fun to do, yeah? Him: Yeah!
After the Firecracker and I came back from her surprise shower, we then dashed off to our local dive bar – Malachy’s – and met up with my old roomie, Buckley.
We actually lived in the same dorm waaaaaay back in 1991 (!) and kept in touch after I left.
When he moved into the city, he and I became roomies and, after a few years, he and I bought our apartment together.
I remember that my dad had questions.
Dad: You…and Buckley…are buying an apartment? Together? Me: Yeah, why? Him: Well…is there anything else you wanna tell me? Me: (puzzled) No, why? (thinking) OMG! No, we’re just friends. And poor. We’re poor friends. We can’t afford a place alone, so we need to pool our money together. Him: Oh… Me: (quickly) Not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re just poor.
This is us in 1998, right before we bought the place.
I dunno what we were thinking with those sweaters or my goatee.
In any case, we met up at Malachy’s because that and Big Nick’s – which is where the main picture was taken – were the two greasy spoon dives that we always went to.
It’s weird. He looks like him just…older. And I’m the same.
We were literally kids when we met – like 17. And now his son is not that far off from the age when we first met.
And I’ve been chatting with Rain a lot these days.
He’s just dealing with some real estate issues and that’s kinda what I do.
That’s a pic of us back in 1998 downtown. I think at a joint called Stingy Lulu‘s (or Yaffa Cafe).
That means that every time you remember thing, there’s a (high) chance you’ll alter that memory a bit and those alterations keep piling up until you can’t trust your own memories anymore?
And that’s why I wish I had better pictures/videos to remember my possible pasts with.
Luckily, I have my friends to help me remember those memories.
Me: He was a quant at Long Term Capital, right? Him: No, he was a programmer – he was on his way to being a quant when it imploded. Me: Gotcha – I didn’t know that.
Unfortunately, I don’t have Alison here to remember the memories that mattered the very most to me.
Ah, fuck…
This is what my room looked like when it was just me and Buckley – two bachelors in the city.
A dragonfly from this entry in 2008. I have questions about that day but no one to ask.
The kid cracked another tooth the other day so we had to drop everything and head to the dentist’s to fix it.
This time, however, insurance was able to cover everything, so that was a plus.
Poor guy was less than thrilled, lemme tell ya.
Him: You have no idea how this feels! Me: Dude, most adults know exactly how it feels – we’ve all done it. You’ll survive this, trust me.
Afterward, I brought him to see his grandparents out in the wilds of NJ…
…I stayed for dinner because they were having Afghan food and we all love it.
Couldn’t really stay longer than for dinner because there’s work that needs to be done on my building that we’re (finally) doing after literally decades of putting it off.
Essentially, our building has settled, and this has resulted in large cracks in our facade.
According to an engineer that came by, while it’s not dangerous to life or property at the moment, we had a few years to fix it before it became a serious problem.
A fella that did work for us years ago just happened to be free so I jumped at the chance to have him fix it.
Just like with any other repair work, as soon as he started, he saw more issues, like, look at how much mortar is missing from the bricks above, or how rusted the internal metal is between the layers of brick, below.
He’s gonna tell me after he’s had more time to check it out if we need to do anything more for that.
Home and kid ownership is rewarding, for sure, but keeping the home from falling down and the kid in one piece is really a full-time thing.
Then again, I’m not sure I’d want it any other way.
Him: Thanks for bringing me to the dentist. Me: Sure thing, but let’s avoid doing that for a while, ok? Him: Definitely!
Location: meeting the Firecracker for dinner out and about like real adults
Mood: brrrrrrrrrrr
Music: I’m standing right here for you (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
This is him playing in his first, if you never saw it.
I’d never heard of the song before and there’s on expletive in the original, but he really wanted to play it and his music teacher felt it was a good choice.
So, I let him do it.
Think it turned out pretty well, actually.
Afterward, we ended up having dinner at the same joint that the Firecracker and I went to a year-and-a-half ago.
And, we ended up going with the same family we went with the last time, except that they also brought a family friend along – who just happened to be Japanese.
Me: (to my friend) You could have mentioned that she was Japanese! That’s like me bringing a Scottish person to McDonalds and calling it Scottish food. Her: (laughing) It’s fine! Actually, this food is pretty good Japanese food. Me: You’re being nice, but I’ll take it.
The woman actually spoke perfect English; I woulda thought she was from NYC if she didn’t say that she was originally from Tokyo and lived there still.
We got onto the topic of alla useless facts rattling around in my head.
Her: Like what? Me: Well, I see you’re wearing a Columbia jacket. That company was founded by this German family that fled the Nazis and left behind their successful clothing company. When they got here, the found someone selling a clothing company, immediately bought it, and renamed it after the Columbia River. Her: (laughing) How do you know all that? Me: I have no idea.
This is true.
The vast majority of facts I know are (a) useless and (b) of completely unknown origins.
Somehow, these interesting stories stick around in my brain.
I live just north of one of the few megaplexes left in New York City, which means that I have a chance to check out a lotta movie premiers – except that I’m not a huge movie theatre buff.
There’s something about being in a dark, loud, enclosed space that stresses me out.
So, I only go if there’s a particularly good reason to do so – like when the Firecracker and I got invited to the premier of Gladiator II.
But my sister told me about a premier for the first Dogman film, which is a super popular book series for kids.
So, I managed to snag four tickets for the kids, the Firecracker, and myself.
It also included a picture taken with the author, a signed copy of his latest book in hardcover, a drink, and popcorn.
It was pretty much a perfect event for the kids.
But not so much for me.
That is, until I had a chat with an old college friend that just happened to be in the neighborhood at the same time of the movie.
Him: Hey, I’m in the UWS around 6:30. Around and available for a meal? Me: Ack, normally yes but I’m bringing the boys to a movie tonight, literally the first time ever. Raincheck? Him: No worries, raincheck for sure – what movie? Me: Dogman. Don’t even ask. I’m not thrilled about it. Him: Oh, Dogman is good choice! Now that [my son] is 13 and having dinner with his friends, I’d give anything to watch a movie with him. Me: Oh man, that’s a good point. Yeah, I should be better about things like this. Him: Yeah. Never thought I’d say it – [they grow up in the] blink of an eye.
So, after the kid’s guitar lesson, I went to the local Japanese takeout restaurant, picked up some Karaage Onigiri and Spam Onigiri for everyone, and off we went.
It was a madhouse.
But organizers were really cool and great with alla the kids.
And the author was just a prince. He tooks pics with literally every single kid that asked…
…signed hundreds of books and even gave a little speech in the beginning of the film.
Although, one of the more interesting conversations was with one of the fellas managing the concession storage closet.
Him: …on Mondays. And then we get two more shipments that same week. Me: You’re kidding me – you sell outta alla these every 2-3 days? Him: Yup. Me: This is a closet of diabetes. Him: (laughs, nods)
The movie itself was tolerable for a 51-year-old Chinese man, but the kids absolutely loved it.
Highly recommended for them.
Like I said, it was the first movie I’d ever taken the kid to in a theatre.
Hopefully, he has some fond memories of it all.
Me: What was your favourite part? Him: Everything!
Chinese New Year is probably the most important holiday for the Chinese.
I’d wanted to go see my mom that night, but I wasn’t able to for various reasons.
But I’d mentioned to the Firecracker how important it was, and she said we should just do a celebration here.
Her: What are we gonna have? Me: Well, traditionally, you’re supposed to have: (a) A whole fish, (b) noodles, (c) dumplings, and (d) oranges – among other things. Her: Wait, a whole fish? Like, with the head? Me: Yup! It’ll be great. Her: (hesitant) Me: Food should look like food, baby.
Legit, Americans eat so much processed food that real food looks weird to them.
Once met a woman that wouldn’t eat fried chicken because it looked too much like the animal it came from.
That relationship didn’t last long.
In any case, because there’s a new Korean supermarket near my pad now, most of what I needed was pretty easy to get.
Plus, I had just made some chicken stock the other day when I was making White Cut Chicken for everyone so that saved a lotta work.
The kids mainly liked the noodles and the store-bought dumplings, but I was just happy they enjoyed it.
The red envelopes were the biggest hits, I suppose.
Him: Two-dollar bills!?! What are those worth? Me: Hmmm…two dollars?
Here’s hoping we’ll get to do this for a while.
If you wanna make white cut chicken, which is essentially a very gently poached chicken, try this recipe here.
It’s pretty foolproof and what my parents used to make us kids literally once a week while we were growing up.
@177milkstreet Perfect chicken is a joyous, lifelong pursuit, and there are many paths to success. Start at Chinese white-cooked chicken, which appeared in the very first issue of our magazine. Chris Kimball deems it “idiot-proof” (for this is social, after all, and we gotta get the views), but it really is a must-learn fundamental in your change the way you cook repertoire. Get the recipe for Chinese White-Cooked Chicken with Ginger-Soy Dressing via the link in our profile → @177milkstreet #milkstreetrecipe#poachedchicken#chickenrecipe#dinner#dinnerrecipe#easyrecipe#chicken#cooking♬ original sound – Milk Street
Location: earlier tonight, a Japanese BBQ after the kid’s recital
Mood: frozen again
Music: you know I care but it’s so cold (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Our lives, just like the blog, was off schedule. All the plans we had and suspended, were suspended indefinitely.
One little thing was that, for 27 years, the radiator in my back bathroom wasn’t working.
The old owners disconnected it for some reason and Alison and I always said we were gonna hook it up again at some point.
As usual, life kept getting in the way.
But the other day, I decided to remove two of the three vacuums that I have in my pad, mounted on a wall – why I have three is a wholly separate story that I may or may not tell you about down the line.
Didn’t match at all.
Unfortunately, the paint that I thought would cover up the removal damage dried out after 15 years of sitting in my basement.
Me: Dammit!
So, I went to my local paint store and had them match the paint. It didn’t match well at all.
Me: GODDAMMIT!!
Cutting off a chip of the drywall, the second time around, they were able to match it relatively closely.
This then led to a chain of events that ended up with a plumber coming in the other day and hooking up the radiator in the back room.
Here, this 40 second video of Hal/Bryan Cranston more adequately explains what happened, as well as why everything takes forever around here:
There’s a lot more to it but lately I’ve doing stuff around the house that’s been waiting to happen for between 10-27 years.
Told Buckley – the fella I first bought the apartment with some 20+ years ago – about what was going on.
Me: Hola! I just had the radiator fixed in the back bathroom TODAY. Can you believe that I never changed it? Buckley: Guten tag! I recall it didn’t work. Are you telling me it stayed broken until today? If so, that’s impressive. Me: Yup, broken for 27 years until this morning at 11am.
Hopefully, 27 years’ll be my maximum time for letting things sit broken around here.
Then again, I suppose I’ve been broken for some 51+ years…
Location: my warm back bathroom!
Mood: warm!
Music: Feels like home (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
There’s so much sadness, pain, and loss in just six words.
Thought about that the other day as I cleaned out some more of Alison’s things.
Every year or so, I toss some things of hers that I finally make peace with.
In this latest episode, found three shirts that Alison and I were excited to wear one day; grey shirts with a graphic of a black bear on the chest, each one with a single word on the bear:
Papa
Mama
Baby
Think we got them as a gift. Don’t remember.
We never got to try them on.
Everything went to shit too fast.
The Firecracker, because she saw how distressed I was and is just awesome, gave them away for me.
I was in my head all day and all night.
Alison never got to wear anything like that.
I never got to wear anything like that.
And now, we never will.
Her: Are you ok? Me: For the purposes of this conversation, I’ll say I am. Her: But you’re not? Me: (deep breath) For the purposes of this conversation, I’ll say I am. I just need a sec. Her: (nodding) I’ll take care of these this for you and drop them off at Goodwill. Me: Thank you.
Location: the basement of my brain (again)
Mood: waiting to be okay (again)
Music: This feeling never leaves me (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
Her: Have you seen my cow slippers? It’s freezing. Me: Since meeting you, I’ve heard sentences I’ve never heard ever in my life. Which is saying a lot, because I’m over half-a-century old. Her: You told me I bring joy and light to your life. Me: I say a lotta things. Her: (glares)
It’s been bone-chillingly cold out here lately – and not just between the Firecracker and me.
Like, seriously bone-chilling:
But that also meant some snow and sledding out around here, which is a welcome thing for the kids.
Both kids were excited to get their snow on, so we were up insanely early to let them do it.
There was hardly anyone there when we first arrived.
But that was relatively short-lived.
Which is fine because the Firecracker and I were both freezing.
Her: I’m glad we’re leaving. I can’t feel my toes. (starts laughing). Me: I can’t either. What are you laughing at? Her: (pointing) That. Every time I come here, I see the remains of sleds that gave up the ghost.
My brother hates the snow and winter, which is why he lives in Pasadena.
But he and Paul have been dealing with the opposite problem of ice and snow, and that’s fire and ash.
Smoke and ash notwithstanding, he knows that he’s among the lucky ones, at least so far.
Paul and one of the Scenic Fights producers had to evacuate and one of them is just a few blocks from my brother’s pad.
Me: Can I post these pics? Him: Sure, though what’s there is of course trivial compared to the sorts of calamities that befell houses up the way in Altadena. Those pics were from the morning of Tuesday the 8th, I think. The night before there were winds like I’ve only seen/heard maybe once before here in LA, it was nuts. Me: Man… Him: You know, I’m not sure I’ve used the word “befell” in a sentence befall. Me: Are you proud of yourself here? Him: It’s like Albert Shakespeare said, “Pride is a many-sided mirror.” Me: (sighing)
Location: my living room, after the kid accidentally dropped his entire spaghetti dinner on the white rug
Mood: blargh
Music: You pulled the rug right out from under my life (Spotify) Subscribe! Like this post? Tell someone about it by clicking a button below.
I rushed out the door of my in-laws because the Firecracker was all by her lonesome for Xmas.
For various reasons, she’s spent a lotta Christmases alone and I didn’t want her to have to do it again.
In any case, the train into the city was standing-room-only packed and this French woman was behind me and her teenage son – who was sniffling and coughing – was in front of me speaking to her with me in the middle of them.
I’m gonna get so sick, I thought.
More on that in a couplea entries.
Her: I was young. It was like the early 2000s. Me: Oh man, I was already in my 30s then. Her: Yeah, cause you’re old Me: (sighing) Well, thanks for not saying “AF” after that sentence this time. Her: You’re welcome – but I was thinking it. Me: (nodding)
Do you remember when the Firecracker and I went to Pasadena together and we stopped by Tiffany’s?
While she was there, she tried on engagement rings, and we talked about what she liked and what she didn’t like.
Welp, I made some mental notes.
A few months ago, I ended up buying a Past, Present, and Future ring for her in her size because it just felt like it was time.
Was just waiting for the right moment to give it to her.
While I was walking around the hood the other day, walked past a local restaurant that we love and chatted with a young woman about maybe doing it there.
The young woman I spoke to was all for it.
Her: Are you available for a quick call sometime on Monday? I would love to discuss the details with you to surprise her! We have our Skylight room available that day. Me: YES! Thank you!
There’s a LOT more to that story but we can end that part here.
Coincidentally, both my brother and SIL, as well as the Firecracker’s sister and BIL were in town, so I invited them to come by afterward to have dinner.
It was my brother and his wife that were kind enough to come early and set up to take pictures and videos of everything – and on Christmas Day to boot.
Decided to do it on Christmas Day since everyone was free and the restaurant had time and space.
One of these days, I’ll tell you how I got the Firecracker to come along without arousing suspicions.
So, after I left my in-laws, I hightailed it back to Manhattan and, with alla my gear and bags, went to the restaurant to make sure everything was ready.
Then I went back to home where I saw the Firecracker.
I think we know our people innately, and everything else is just confirmation.
I set her apart pretty much right when I met her.
So, I figured I should tell her that in a way that was also set apart.
Me: I promised you that you wouldn’t spend any more Christmases alone. So, Firecracker, will you marry me? Her: (nods) Yes. Me: (laughing) Well, alright…
