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personal

Cosplaying as DINKs

Very questionable

Her: What do you wanna do for dinnner?
Me: I can always do Persian/Arab food; we also haven’t done Slavic food since we went out to eat with [the Frenchman and Bryson] on the east side. I will literally eat almost anything, though. Maybe no Italian/pizza? But otherwise, pretty flex. Sushi?
Her: I’ve been wanting to try Mezze on the River, downtown?
Me: Great choice, let’s do it.

We’re continuing to cosplay as DINKs, so we hopped the train to head downtown as adults, sans children.

First, we had to navigate the Oculus…

…which is always super cool. Literally and figuratively.

Me: Man, that air conditioner is on point!
Her: Yes, but now we have to walk outside.
Me: Rats.

There was a lotta construction down there and there was this HUGE private pool that was sealed off that was blocking our path.

So, I hopped the fence to open the gate for her so she didn’t have to.

Her: I don’t think this is a good idea.
Me: (hopping over) Too late. (opening gate) Come on in.
Her: You’re 53!
Me: Eh. I’ll never act it.

The restaurant and views were gorgeous.

As was the food…

…and company.

Me: Man, I’m stuffed.
Her: Really?! You so rarely say that.
Me: I’m just not used to this amount of carbs.

So, we decided to take the long walk to the express train home to work some of that off.

Me: Hey, that’s Century 21. I haven’t been there in years. Did you know that I first went in there back in high school? I was trying to find something to wear for the prom?
Her: Really? Did you?
Me: Yep. It was very unfortunate as it was the late 80s/early 90s so my clothing choices were very questionable.

She ended up buying a few things for herself and I got a shirt for the kid for his new school before we continued our walk and then caught the train home.

All-in-all, it was a perfect summer day.

I’ll take as many of those as I can get.

Location: smokey NYC
Mood: cough, cough
Music: feeling ok, don’t let it get away (Spotify)
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Day Tripping

DINKs

Oh, because of the stupid rat drama, I forgot to tell you that the kid did another recital right before his school ended.

He decided to play a cover of the Beatles Day Tripper – he’s singing but you can’t really hear it.

He was upset because he messed up a tiny bit in the middle, but I still thought he did great.

Now, just like we’ve done for the past few summers, while both kids are away, Sara and I got to live a DINK (dual income, no kids) lifestyle for a couplea weeks.

Her: What are you in the mood for?
Me: (thinking) Sushi? We haven’t done that in a while.
Her: Yes! Let’s do that. I know just the place.

So, off we went to a place just to the east of us called Momoya. I’d never been but have walked by a million times.

I got my usual, which is a dragon roll, and something to drink.

But it definitely wasn’t enough for me.

Me: I’m still hungry.
Her: I’m not surprised.
Me: Tikki Chick is close to us, how’s about we get some sandwiches and another drink?
Her: Sure!

So, off we went.

Ended up getting two chix sammies and cider – I didn’t expect it to be red.

Her: Do you want my umbrella?
Me: …Yes. Thank you.

Afterwards, we took a walk home.

Me: I’m still hungry.
Her: How is that even possible?
Me: Oh, it’s possible. (stopping) Whoa, these guys have a $9 chopped cheese!
Her: Are you sure you wanna do that?
Me: I dunno.

In the end, I didn’t, but it was nice having the flexibility to do that.

Plus, it’s nice being just the two of us for a bit.

But I miss the kid.

Me: Heya, are you free to video chat?
Him: I’m actually going out with my cousins soon, can we chat tonight?
Me: Oh, ok. Sure.
Him: Great, bye!

I’m not gonna enjoy when he leaves for college.

Location: 207 West 75th Street, NY, NY 10023
Mood: forever hungry
Music: got some time on my hands if we both ride together (Spotify)
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We’re all children until 33

It is I

Me: I don’t think you’d recognize me back then with my glasses and double chin.
Her: I’ve seen pictures! I mean, sometimes I look and think, “Is that Logan?” But it’s gotta be, he’s the fat one!
Me: …
Her: What? You were a fat kid! You say it all the time!

When did you truly first feel like an adult?

As a kid, I woulda thought that I’d feel like an adult at 21. What a laugh.

Being at my mom’s place last week was interesting for a host of reasons, not least of which was that she immediately fell back into being my mom circa the late 1980s/early 1990s, and I resisted – as much as I could – doing the same.

That got me to thinking about an article I read recently where scientists had identified five distinct ages of the human brain over a lifetime

Now, I always felt like I was pretending to be an adult alla way up until I was 33 or so. That’s when the Reporter and I broke up and I decided I wanted to see what it was like to just date a lotta different women.

And I brought you along. See, I turned 33 in 2006, 20 years ago. Right when I started this blog.

Well, it turns out that it wasn’t all in my head.

The latest research shows that we all have four major mental changes in our lives that occur at: nine, 32, 66 and 83.

I have definitely seen my own kid change radically these past two years.

And I know that 2005-2007 were the most impactful years of my life up until that point in terms of personal growth – when I was 32 to 34. I met Alison when I 35 and I often told her that she wouldn’t have liked me if she had met me just a few years earlier.

Because I wasn’t the me that she met.

In some ways, after she died, I feel I reverted back to my old self for a (long) while. I remember thinking familiar thoughts from long ago for a while that I don’t anymore.

I have to thank Sara for pulling me back, honestly.

Years ago, I told you the story about St. Augustine.

The story is that St. Augustine was once this womanizer who once famously prayed, da mihi castitatem et continentiam…sed noli (“Grant me chastity and continence…but not yet”). It should be noted that he’s also the patron saint of brewers, as an aside.

Anywho, he was a frequent visitor of prostitutes before he changed his life around. Afterward, he went back to visit an old place and ran into a prostitute he used to know in that biblical way. He continued on his way so she tried to get his attention for his usual and called out to him, Augustine, it is I.

To which, he replied without stopping, Yes, but it is not I.

It’s the opposite for me.

I feel like I’m more like the me that I was before everything went down with Alison and my dad than I have in…well, I guess two years before all the madness started.

The last day I can remember – which isn’t necessary the last day it actually happened – when I felt the way I do now was when I was in Hell’s Hundred Acres so many years ago.

It’s almost as if I was lost in woods in winter all this time and found… well, not my way out, exactly.

Rather, it’s like I found a welcoming cabin – still in the winter, still in the woods, but it warm, cozy, and familiar. I could rest before the next part of my journey.

I’m grateful for the rest.

And I wonder what will happen with my head when I turn 66 for my next journey.

I hope I will still write about my terribly pedestrian life.

And I hope you’ll still read about my terribly pedestrian life.

Location: the studio for Scenic Fights
Mood: ex. haus. ted.
Music: the man I was before (Spotify)
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Staying home for the first time in decades

She always looks like this

The very next day, Sara was going to her mom’s, and I was heading back to NYC – but not home.

My mom had some legal stuff that I had to help her out with – plus my sister and her entire family was away and I didn’t like the thought of her being alone in the house.

So, I went to keep her company for a few days.

Her: I’m not a child, you don’t have to stay!
Me: First of all, you’re not, but this might take more than a day to do. Second of all, your air conditioner is much better than mine.

Unfortunately, because of the timing, I had to cut my trip short with Sara because of it.

Sara: Well, I’m not happy. But I understand.
Me: And that, is why you’re the best. I’ll make it up to you, promise.
Her: You better.

Sara was such a doll – she even booked my flight back.

In North Carolina, it was so humid outside that the AC was literally steaming up the inside of the plane.

But I’d heard that NYC was even worse.

I arrived at LGA in less than 90 mins – it woulda been shorter but I flew out on the 4th of July and the airspace over DC was closed so we had to go ten minutes out west and come back ten minutes.

Still, a LOT better than our return trip two years ago.

I immediately hopped into a cab and headed to see my mom.

Honestly, I really wanted to go home and be in my own apartment and bed, but my family needed me so off I went.

The legal work took a little longer than I anticipated – that, plus the heat was ridonk; the real feel was 107 degrees.

Her: Should we turn on the air conditioner?
Me: Nah, we can just sit here and sweat.
Her: OK.
Me: That was sarcasm! It’s 107, mom!

It had been well over 15 years since I last slept over there. Maybe 20 years?

If anyone felt like a kid, it was me. She kept cautioning me to be careful when I went outside.

Me: You know I’m 53, right mom?

But I get it. I think my kid will always be my little boy, no matter how old he gets.

And, while my mom looks like the photo above these days, in my head she always looks like this (I’m probably thinking of food in this pic):

Honestly, it was nice spending some time with her, just the two of us.

Her: You did such a good job by yourself with [your son].
Me: Well, I had a lotta help.
Her: It’s not easy. Being a parent. (later) I was a good parent, right?
Me: The best, mom. You were and are the best. I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
Her: (wrinkling her nose) What does that mean?!
Me: (shrugging) Just something Alison used to say.
Her: Oh, you were so fat when you were young. (laughs)
Me: (nodding) I’m not unaware, mom.

Location: the somewhat cooler apartment
Mood: pensive
Music: I’m just trying to find my way home (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Asheville, North Carolina Pt 2

Hot as blazes

The next morning, we met up with alla Sara’s relatives for brunch.

And then hung out with them for some swimming, day drinking, and chips.

Nice buncha folks.

Forgot to take pics so here’s what I had for brekkie instead.

That night was the wedding, which was HOT.

Me: Holy cow, it’s 6PM and feels like 2PM.
Her: The sun sets later down south, Logan.
Me: I’m seeing this.

It was on the roof of the brewery from the previous entry.

Gorgeous day and view but hot as blazes.

I stayed indoors for as long as I possibly could.

I had originally brought a vested suit and dress shirt to wear but I heard someone say that shorts were allowed so I quickly pivoted.

Sara, unfortunately, could not as she was one of the bridesmaids.

I thought she looked great, though.
Poor Sara had to be in the 95+ degree sun for over an hour for the ceremony and pics.

The actual ceremony was pretty quick, which is good because everyone – myself included was melting.

I actually bought this tiny little fan that I kept on me the whole time; at least half-a-dozen people commented on that.

Him: That is genius.
Me: Yeah, I got it as soon as I heard it was an outdoor wedding in July.
Him: I should have done that.
Me: I don’t do well in the heat.

I like things that are clever and there were two rather clever ideas that the bride and groom had regarding the table seating.

The first was that the groom is a tenured librarian so there were two Dewey Decimal System drawers with actual cards on them that our assigned dinner tables.

The second had to do with how they met; they’re both avid rock concert goers and met at a concert.

So, the wedding was music themed with every table having an album (I guess they really are making a comeback) name.

Sara and I were assigned the Fleetwood Mac Rumors table.

I couldn’t wait to get in the air-conditioned main hall – and start shoveling some North Carolina BBQ down my piehole – so, as soon as the ceremony was done, off we went.

After a buncha speeches, we got to the eating, which was excellent.

Me: When do you think we can go up for seconds?
Him: I think you gotta wait until all the tables have gone already.
Me: Fiiine. (later) Do you think it’s ok to get thirds?
Someone else: Go for it, people are going for dessert.

On that note, even the cake – cupcakes, really – were music themed.

Obvs, they are Grateful Dead fans…

They seriously felt like they were meant for each other.

Her: I love weddings! I love love!
Me: (laughing) I can tell. (thinking) It’s good. Waiting for the right things in your life.
Her: It took me a really long time to figure out what I did and didn’t like. I mean, half the time I still don’t know what I like.
Me: Well, you know you like old Chinese men.
Her: (laughs) Yes, I do.

Location: back at home, eating dinner number three
Mood: still hungry
Music: I’ll tell you ’bout the time when I first met you, listen to our favorite song (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Asheville, North Carolina Pt 1

Plus a trip to the Biltmore Estate

Her: So, I was thinking. If someone wanted to rob a bank, why not give ice cream to everyone as a distraction beforehand?
Me: Maybe you should just stick to being a teacher.
Her: You don’t think it would work?

Sara had a cousin getting married in Asheville, so the plan was to head down, spend a few days in Asheville, and then head back home on Saturday night.

Unfortunately, something came up where I had to be back by Thursday afternoon, so I had to cut my trip short.

Sara was super bummed but understood.

But, lemme back up a bit to the beginning.

This time, we decided to fly so we headed out to the airport and it ended up being a super-fast 90-minute trip or so.

FAR better than the 12+ hours it took us the last time we headed down.

But not without some hiccups.

Him: Unfortunately, we don’t have a car for you.
Me: I think Avis and I differ greatly on what the word “reservation” means.
Him: (clicking on computer) Sorry but…wait, you booked a car…four months ago?
Me: Yes, although that seems have been a waste of everyone’s time.

We ended up having to wait 40 minutes for a car to show up, which was super annoying, but we were just happy to get onto the road.

Since we were all starving, we hit up a cute little southern restaurant along the way.

It was good but not great.

Her: That was disappointing – I’ve never had that much black pepper in fried chicken or mashed potatoes before.
Me: Yeah, but it’s just as well, otherwise, we’d have eaten the whole thing.

Sara needed to get shoes for the wedding and there was a Belk along the way, so she went there while her kid and I camped out at the Barnes and Noble.

It was ginormous.

Me: Whoa! I’ve not seen records for sale in decades.
Her: Really? It’s making a comeback.
Me: I truly do not understand the world.

We got to our hotel – finally – and immediately crashed.

The next day, we did what Sara was looking forward to for months – a tour of the Biltmore estate.

Her: It’s the largest private home in the world!
Me: …yay?

She enjoyed herself but the weather really drained me.

In the main picture of this post, you can tell on my face that I just wanna nap; Sara is the Energizer Bunny.

There were some cool things to see, like an indoor pool…

…bowling alley…

…plus, a cool little operator-run elevator that actually still worked…

…but I’m not sure I would have done the 2.5+ hour tour myself.

We ended up meeting up with her sister and her family for some beers near our hotel.

Me: They have a chopped cheese!
Her Son: YES!
Me: (after getting it) You know, they did a pretty good job here. And it wasn’t 20 bucks and tiny like at the ballpark.

Sara and I ended the night with drinks that she got comped because of her Hilton status.

The next day, everyone slept in and I didn’t do much at all during the day, (a) because it was hot as blazes but also (b) we were all exhausted from all the travel and activities.

I did have my first Firehouse sub, though – she got The Engineer.

Later that night, Sara had her rehearsal dinner at Highland Brewing – which is actually Asian owned!

I’m not really a beer drinker but they had kombucha and their air conditioning was on point.

After she finished up, we went to the bride and groom’s AirBnB for an informal pizza party on the top of a mountain.

Woman: Hi, my friend says that he recognizes you from YouTube.
Me: That’s cool! Why didn’t he say something himself?
Her: Oh, he didn’t want to bother you.
Me: I’m a D-level celeb, it’s never a bother.

All-in-all, it was a pretty fun night, and everyone was super chill.

I musta eaten my body weight in pizza.

But this entry’s getting super long so I’ll wrap up the trip tomorrow.

Location: back at home, melting
Mood: so. hot.
Music: I’m just trying to find my way home (Spotify)
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Three trips

Pushing us forward

By the time you read this, I’ll be flying back from a wedding in Asheville, North Carolina.

But lemme back up a bit and tell you where I’ve been lately.

The kid had his last day of school the other day.

Me: When you walk out these doors, you’re never coming back here as an elementary student again.
Him: I’ll be in middle school! (walks out the door and stops) I’ll never be here again as a student? (looks sad) I’m not ready.
Me: (gently) We never are. But that’s how life is; it pushes you forward even if you’re not ready to be.

He was pretty emotional for a bit, but then I reminded him that we had to catch a train to see his grandmother.

So, off we went.

Unfortunately, all of the tunnels were dark when we arrived.

Entering into the dark train, the conductor said that none of the tunnels had power due to an issue with Amtrak.

They were hoping to fix the issue. But at least half the car already left, like the lady above.

Me: (after 20 minutes) I think we should go.
Him: Can we wait until 3PM?
Me: Fine. (at 3PM, another 10 minutes later) I don’t think this is happening, kid. Let’s try again tonight.
Him: Just five more minutes. PLEASE?!
Me: (sighing) OK, five more. And then we go.

Literally two minutes later, the AC and lights came back on.

Him: SEE?!
Me: (laughing) I’m happy to be wrong here. We’re off to see grandma!
Him: Yay!

We arrived in NJ where I had dinner with Alison’s parents and caught up with them.

After a few hours, I took the train back.

Me: Do you have a painkiller? My jaw’s been killing me for the past few days. Can barely chew.
Him: What happened?
Me: I’m not sure. Maybe I got an ear infection?

Got home and crashed.

Sara: You should go to urgent care and get that checked out.
Me: Yeah, if I have an ear infection, the plane ride will be hell.

So, bright and early the next day, I went to urgent care.

The doc said that, while I didn’t have an infection, I did have some earwax buildup, which he irrigated out – it feels awesome if you’re never done it before.

Him: But I don’t see an infection. (thinking) Are you sure you don’t remember getting injured in your face?
Me: (thinking) Shoot, now that you mention it, I remember that I got a nasty face-crack on my face a few days ago. He was definitely trying to crack my jaw.
Him: What?! Does that happen a lot?
Me: (shrugging) More than you might expect.

By the next morning, I was ready for my flight.

Sara was going to see her family for an annual visit AND her cousin was getting married.

I’ll tell you all about it in the next entry.

Location: AVL, realizing that I’m at the wrong gate
Mood: antsy
Music: feels like summer (Spotify)
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The kid graduated from elementary school

Wanting but not ready to

I always try my best to keep all my entries in chronological order because it acts as my own personal journal – I can’t tell you how many times in a week I’ll search through the blog for some bit of information

But the issue here is that the kid’s graduation was actually a full four days before the last day of his school.

So, that means that the first part of this entry happened before the last entry about the baseball game and the second part, after.

The kid let me sleep in an extra hour but after he woke me up, we quickly made our way to the 84th Street where his graduation was taking place.

Sara took the day off to come and support him, which I really appreciated.

Unfortunately, we were running about five minutes late, which Sara and barely noticed but the kid was apoplectic.

Him: (upset) What if I miss it!? I can run there.
Me: Dude, it’s 85 degrees, the bus is here in two minutes, and it’s six blocks from here.
Him: But what if we miss it?!
Me: We’ll be fine. You gotta believe in the system.

Luckily, the bus did actually come in two minutes and we were there within 10.

Him: We made it!
Me: Never had a doubt, kid.

Before I knew it, they had called his name, and he was up on stage getting his “diploma” and shaking alla his teachers’ hands.

The last time he graduated from anything was five years ago and I had so many mixed feelings then.

This time, I still had them, but it was less so.

Alison would have cried because she would have been so happy and proud.

Like I was.

Afterward, I quickly hit up the gym for two reasons: (a) to work out and (b) to let the kid play for a bit with his friends.

Then I took him and everyone else down to Chinatown to celebrate.

Me: What are you in the mood for?
Him: Hand-pulled noodles and soup!
Me: In the summer?!
Him: You said I could get anything!
Me: (laughing) So I did. Steaming hot noodles and soup in the middle of summer it is.

The next three days were weird as he “graduated,” but he still had school.

A lotta his classmates – he said about half – had already started their summer vacations. After all, we went to a baseball game until about midnight the day before his last day of elementary school.

But I suppose that he’s like me in that he wanted to spend time with friends that he would no longer see on the regular.

Because it finally hit him that he would never be an elementary school student again.

And, truth be told, it finally hit me just now as I wrote these words: He’ll never be an elementary student again.

He’s growing up, as he’s supposed to and as I want him to.

But, while I want him to grow up, I’m not ready for my little boy to grow up yet.

Location: Asheville, NC, having some fried chix
Mood: conflicted
Music: I never knew me a better time and I guess, I never will (Spotify)
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My second baseball game

But my first with the kid

Me: Do you like that I don’t watch sports?
Her: Oh yeah, I couldn’t be with someone who was locked into the TV every weekend watching some sports ballgame.

The last time I saw a baseball game was a Mets game that I saw when I was about 11 or so with my brother and his buddy Ira.

I brought a canteen for water and was mercilessly mocked by the people around us – my brother was (rightfully) embarrassed.

But people regularly walk around with 32-ounce water bottles so maybe I was just ahead of the curve?

In any case, after 42 years, I caught my second one the other day with both kids, Sara, and *50* of ABFFs friends and family.

It was kinda a surprise for the kid the day before the last day of elementary school but he figured it out.

Me: Why can’t you let me have these things?
Him: But you told I could guess!
Me: I didn’t think you’d figure it out!

So, this past Thursday, we all hopped the train for a 90-minute ride to Coney Island to check out the minor league team, The Cyclones, at Maimonides Park.

The first thing I did was get a beer and some food – essentially a burger and fries cost $20 and things went from bad to worse from there, food wise.

Me: I can’t get full. I’m gonna have to get a second mortgage and some more food.
Her: Are you even watching the game?
Me: There’s a game on?

I have to admit that it had its moments, but I was really there because the kid loves sports so much.

I wanted him to have some memories of the two of us going to a game together so that was really my main impetus.

He was definitely into it.

And the fact that Sara and the ABFF’s kids were there just made it that much better.

Oh, the tickets we got included some food, a hat, and a ring – all together, it wasn’t a bad deal.

It had some fun moments here and that we all enjoyed.

The stadium was about half empty, which I appreciated as I don’t like crowds, or people in general.

It was nice seeing the kid so into the whole experience.

I liked checking out the rest of the stadium and all of the cool things at Coney Island that I never get to see.

Ultimately, the Cyclones lost – they gave it their all in the 9th inning.

Her: They have nothing to lose so they’re going for it.
Me: Makes sense. Do you like that you have to explain sports to a man?
Her: I love the strategy of the end of the game – it’s super exciting. I’m happy to explain it!

The ABFF’s sister was the one that came up with this idea in the first place as she’s a teacher that’s really into baseball, so she figured it was a nice thing to do the day before school let out.

And she picked this particular game because (a) it let the kids round around the bases when the game was done and (b) there was a fireworks display at the end.

Of course, the kid was thrilled at these two extras at the end.

It was close to 10:30PM by the time we left…

…which meant that it was dark and relatively cold as we made our way to the station.

We were all pretty exhausted.

And, unfortunately, the trains went local for a good part of the way so that meant we got home even later than planned.

Him: Can we take a car home?
Me: We’re not made of money, kid. Plus, we’d literally just save like 20 minutes at most.

The kids tried to go to sleep but no luck.

They were too wired from the experience and the copious amounts of junk food they had while there.

It well after midnight when we got home.

Me: Did you have a fun time?
Kid: Yeah. But now I just wanna go to sleep.
Me: Good call – tomorrow’s your last day of elementary school!
Him: (sleepily) Yeah.

But he was actually excited to finish up elementary school, which I’ll tell you about in the next entry.

Location: Somewhere over Pennsylvania, I would guess
Mood: hungry, what else is new?
Music: You know I think it’s time to give this game a ride (Spotify)
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Father’s Day 2026

Like some peon

Her: You are such a back seat driver.
Me: That’s because I’m the better driver. (she flicks my ear) Ow. Ow! OW! Stop that!
Her: You are not!

It’s been a whirlwind of activity around here.

Partly because of the vermin issue, partly because of some distressing family news that I’ll keep to myself for now, and partly because the kid is winding up another school year.

To this end, I went to his school again to see the very last presentation of the year.

Him: Why are you late!?
Me: So much stuff is going on at home, kiddo! But I made it.

Because it’s the end of the year, he’s got all these activities; I think he’s been to no less than six or seven parties in the past three weeks.

The wildest one was a speedboat that he went on with a number of his soccer buddies.

Her: Hi! We will start at pier 83 at 12:45 – ride starts at 1:00 – and go on the beast ride. We will make our way to Dave and Busters and be done at 4:30. The kids will eat at Dave and Busters.
Me: In the 80s, a killer party would have involved Pizza Hut and copious amounts of soft drinks from a red plastic cup.

But, we also had Father’s Day.

Her: I decided to get you BOTH a jelly donut and a croissant.
Me: Oh man, thanks! Shoot, I’m gonna be a fatty-fat-fat.
Her: (shaking head) Nah. You’re waifish.
Me: WAIFISH!?

It’s fine. She got me the below.

And that’s walnut butter – not peanut butter like I’m some peon.

Sara and the kid took me out to Indian food as well where I had all the carbs.

All-in-all, it was a pretty nice few days to counterbalance the grossness and anxiety of the vermin issue.

It’s gonna be a while before we get over that.

We all have PTSD.

Me: What was that?!
Her: It was my foot, Logan!
Me: It’s gonna be rough around here for the next few weeks.

Mainly me.

Location: the kid’s new middle school, hoping I made the right decision
Mood: sigh
Music: And we can sing just like our fathers (Spotify)
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