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personal

Why is it pink/orange, Janet?!

Cooking some salmon

My kid was supposed to head back to Alison’s parents this week but then my sister invited him over for a sleepover with her boys, so he went there instead.

This meant that Sara I could borrow my mom’s car to head back to the city for a night.

Me: I had a car in the city for over a decade. Man, I miss it.
Her: There are definitely times that I could use a car for work.
Me: Maybe someday we’ll get a car ourselves.

It used to be that parking in the city was rough but, these days – between the CitiBikes, new garbage cans, and the idiotic outdoor seating areas, which make zero sense to keep these days – it’s getting worse and worse to try to keep a car in Manhattan.

And what’s going on with the Orange One isn’t helping matters.

Me: I just spent $56 on a little over a half-a-tank of gas.
Her: You’re kidding.
Me: (sighing) I wish…

Before we went back home, though, we first stopped to get some food – something I’ll get more into in the next entry – which was just killer.

And then we went to a Chinese market where we got salmon steaks for less than $9 a pound and then headed back home in my mom’s whip.

We also discovered that okra can grow to ridonk sizes as evidenced by the main pic above.

Me: I’m worried about finding parking.
Her: (waves her hand) It’s one of the last Saturdays before school starts. We’ll find parking.
Me: I dunno about that. (finds parking less than five minutes later)
Her: See! I told you…

Gotta say, I was always a pretty good parallel parker but with rear-view cameras, it’s so much easier.

Anywho, got home and made salmon for the first time in years.

I arranged them the way I first learned from Alton way back in 1999 but I cooked them the way my old friend from Cnet, Laura, taught me years ago.

Sara wanted hers her own way.

Her: I just don’t like mustard, Logan.
Me: (shakes head) Commie. (later) Did I ever tell you the joke about Janet and the salmon?
Her: (puzzled) I don’t think so.
Me: (cooking) So, this woman tells a salmon, “You’re so pretty, you know we have a colour named after you?” And the salmon goes, “Really?! That’s so cool, is it a nice silver grey like me?” The woman doesn’t answer and instead, turns her head. So, the salmon asks her repeatedly before he somehow finds out what the color is. “WHY IS IT A PINK/ORANGE, JANET?!”
Her: (laughs)

They both ended up looking very nice, though – I didn’t have any food-grade twine in the house, so I just used toothpicks, which wasn’t ideal but still got the job done.

We ended the night by killing a bottle of wine between us – and maybe a bottle of soju as well – and watching In The Grey.

All-in-all, it was a nice little break for us before we got the kids the next day, which I’ll tell you about in the next entry.

Assume all links in this blog are monetized.
Location: a drug store, trying to find steel wool
Mood: overwhelmed
Music: I wanna be your left-hand man (Spotify)
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Everything is so plastic

Looking for something real

Met up with the Medemerge Doc the other day again for lunch.

It was funny because we’d ordered some beers and they didn’t have the one I liked so I got a backup.

Waitress: (walking over to our table with a full beer) The bartender got the wrong beer for someone and I didn’t want this to waste. Do you want it?
Me: (scoffing) Like we’re gonna turn down free beer.
Her: (laughing) Here you go.

While the doc and I were chatting – about AI again, but that’s another entry – I heard a voice call out:

NFL Player: Is that Logan Lo from Scenic Fights?!
Me: Hey! What are you doing in town?
Him: Had to take care of some things. Flying out first thing in the morning.
Me: Was it something I said?

Afterward…

Doc: That seems to happen to you a lot.
Me: That’s the kinda stuff that happens when you live in the same neighborhood for 32 years.
Him: (shaking head) If you look around and thought, “I wonder whicha these guys have been here 32 years,” I doubt they’d pick you.
Me: I choose not to get old.

Speaking of choosing not to get old, came across the most fascinating article the other day.

Essentially, the article says that the modern LED lights we use everywhere these days have very little red light in them.

And you know those red-light masks that everyone is wearing to fight wrinkles and such? Well, our modern lights are the opposite of those.

Perhaps that’s one contributing factor to why I age so slowly, because a solid 1/3 of all the lights in my apartment are grow lights – that is to say, full-spectrum light bulbs that feed plants.

I do it because I have plants all over the pad, which I feel we need – we need some bit of nature in our lives, more than just the 30 seconds it takes you to walk past the one tree on the street.

Well, it turns out that they may have more benefit to me than just that.

But that’s how it should be.

When we were walking to meet up with my Friends Around the Way the other day, we walked past this ground floor unit with all these fake plants in the window.

Her: What’s wrong?
Me: That just drives me crazy.
Her: The plants?
Me: The fake plants. Everything is so plastic and fake these days. Look at all the light they get – they could *easily* grow real plants, but instead of imperfect real plants, they want plastic fake plants. If that doesn’t encapsulate the world today, I dunno what does.

Everything is so fake these days.

I think most people are hungry for real things but don’t realize it until it’s too late.

And I’m not just talking about plants.

Editor’s note: Assume I make a tiny commission via Amazon Associates or something with every product link I have. I gotta figure out a way that’s not annoying to put this warning on alla my posts.

Location: all over Manhattan today
Mood: productive
Music: When I was a child, I loved the nature. Now I barely see it (Spotify)
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Cosplaying as DINKs

Very questionable

Her: What do you wanna do for dinnner?
Me: I can always do Persian/Arab food; we also haven’t done Slavic food since we went out to eat with [the Frenchman and Bryson] on the east side. I will literally eat almost anything, though. Maybe no Italian/pizza? But otherwise, pretty flex. Sushi?
Her: I’ve been wanting to try Mezze on the River, downtown?
Me: Great choice, let’s do it.

We’re continuing to cosplay as DINKs, so we hopped the train to head downtown as adults, sans children.

First, we had to navigate the Oculus

…which is always super cool. Literally and figuratively.

Me: Man, that air conditioner is on point!
Her: Yes, but now we have to walk outside.
Me: Rats.

There was a lotta construction down there and there was this HUGE private pool that was sealed off that was blocking our path.

So, I hopped the fence to open the gate for her so she didn’t have to.

Her: I don’t think this is a good idea.
Me: (hopping over) Too late. (opening gate) Come on in.
Her: You’re 53!
Me: Eh. I’ll never act it.

The restaurant and views were gorgeous.

As was the food…

…and company.

Me: Man, I’m stuffed.
Her: Really?! You so rarely say that.
Me: I’m just not used to this amount of carbs.

So, we decided to take the long walk to the express train home to work some of that off.

Me: Hey, that’s Century 21. I haven’t been there in years. Did you know that I first went in there back in high school? I was trying to find something to wear for the prom?
Her: Really? Did you?
Me: Yep. It was very unfortunate as it was the late 80s/early 90s so my clothing choices were very questionable.

She ended up buying a few things for herself and I got a shirt for the kid for his new school before we continued our walk and then caught the train home.

All-in-all, it was a perfect summer day.

I’ll take as many of those as I can get.

Location: smokey NYC
Mood: cough, cough
Music: feeling ok, don’t let it get away (Spotify)
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Day Tripping

DINKs

Oh, because of the stupid rat drama, I forgot to tell you that the kid did another recital right before his school ended.

He decided to play a cover of the Beatles Day Tripper – he’s singing but you can’t really hear it.

He was upset because he messed up a tiny bit in the middle, but I still thought he did great.

Now, just like we’ve done for the past few summers, while both kids are away, Sara and I got to live a DINK (dual income, no kids) lifestyle for a couplea weeks.

Her: What are you in the mood for?
Me: (thinking) Sushi? We haven’t done that in a while.
Her: Yes! Let’s do that. I know just the place.

So, off we went to a place just to the east of us called Momoya. I’d never been but have walked by a million times.

I got my usual, which is a dragon roll, and something to drink.

But it definitely wasn’t enough for me.

Me: I’m still hungry.
Her: I’m not surprised.
Me: Tikki Chick is close to us, how’s about we get some sandwiches and another drink?
Her: Sure!

So, off we went.

Ended up getting two chix sammies and cider – I didn’t expect it to be red.

Her: Do you want my umbrella?
Me: …Yes. Thank you.

Afterwards, we took a walk home.

Me: I’m still hungry.
Her: How is that even possible?
Me: Oh, it’s possible. (stopping) Whoa, these guys have a $9 chopped cheese!
Her: Are you sure you wanna do that?
Me: I dunno.

In the end, I didn’t, but it was nice having the flexibility to do that.

Plus, it’s nice being just the two of us for a bit.

But I miss the kid.

Me: Heya, are you free to video chat?
Him: I’m actually going out with my cousins soon, can we chat tonight?
Me: Oh, ok. Sure.
Him: Great, bye!

I’m not gonna enjoy when he leaves for college.

Location: 207 West 75th Street, NY, NY 10023
Mood: forever hungry
Music: got some time on my hands if we both ride together (Spotify)
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We’re all children until 33

It is I

Me: I don’t think you’d recognize me back then with my glasses and double chin.
Her: I’ve seen pictures! I mean, sometimes I look and think, “Is that Logan?” But it’s gotta be, he’s the fat one!
Me: …
Her: What? You were a fat kid! You say it all the time!

When did you truly first feel like an adult?

As a kid, I woulda thought that I’d feel like an adult at 21. What a laugh.

Being at my mom’s place last week was interesting for a host of reasons, not least of which was that she immediately fell back into being my mom circa the late 1980s/early 1990s, and I resisted – as much as I could – doing the same.

That got me to thinking about an article I read recently where scientists had identified five distinct ages of the human brain over a lifetime

Now, I always felt like I was pretending to be an adult alla way up until I was 33 or so. That’s when the Reporter and I broke up and I decided I wanted to see what it was like to just date a lotta different women.

And I brought you along. See, I turned 33 in 2006, 20 years ago. Right when I started this blog.

Well, it turns out that it wasn’t all in my head.

The latest research shows that we all have four major mental changes in our lives that occur at: nine, 32, 66 and 83.

I have definitely seen my own kid change radically these past two years.

And I know that 2005-2007 were the most impactful years of my life up until that point in terms of personal growth – when I was 32 to 34. I met Alison when I 35 and I often told her that she wouldn’t have liked me if she had met me just a few years earlier.

Because I wasn’t the me that she met.

In some ways, after she died, I feel I reverted back to my old self for a (long) while. I remember thinking familiar thoughts from long ago for a while that I don’t anymore.

I have to thank Sara for pulling me back, honestly.

Years ago, I told you the story about St. Augustine.

The story is that St. Augustine was once this womanizer who once famously prayed, da mihi castitatem et continentiam…sed noli (“Grant me chastity and continence…but not yet”). It should be noted that he’s also the patron saint of brewers, as an aside.

Anywho, he was a frequent visitor of prostitutes before he changed his life around. Afterward, he went back to visit an old place and ran into a prostitute he used to know in that biblical way. He continued on his way so she tried to get his attention for his usual and called out to him, Augustine, it is I.

To which, he replied without stopping, Yes, but it is not I.

It’s the opposite for me.

I feel like I’m more like the me that I was before everything went down with Alison and my dad than I have in…well, I guess two years before all the madness started.

The last day I can remember – which isn’t necessary the last day it actually happened – when I felt the way I do now was when I was in Hell’s Hundred Acres so many years ago.

It’s almost as if I was lost in woods in winter all this time and found… well, not my way out, exactly.

Rather, it’s like I found a welcoming cabin – still in the winter, still in the woods, but it warm, cozy, and familiar. I could rest before the next part of my journey.

I’m grateful for the rest.

And I wonder what will happen with my head when I turn 66 for my next journey.

I hope I will still write about my terribly pedestrian life.

And I hope you’ll still read about my terribly pedestrian life.

Location: the studio for Scenic Fights
Mood: ex. haus. ted.
Music: the man I was before (Spotify)
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Catching Celebrity Autobiography

Cringy

RE Mike shot us some tix to go see this Broadway show called Celebrity Autobiography, the other day.

Him: I heard it’s funny.
Me: Sweeeeet – Sat at 5PM works for us. You going?
Him: Let me check – I might go with you but [the wife and kid] are in Florida.

Sara loved the last three things that he sent us to – a private party, The Heart of Rock and Roll, and Once Upon a One More Time – so she was def up to see this one as well.

Me: You wanna go? From RE Mike, of course.
Her: Ooooooh! Fun!

The premise is clever; essentially, celebrities read excerpts of autobiographies from other celebrities – and most are pretty cringe.

I went mainly to see Eric McCormack from Will & Grace (he lived on my block so I have a story about him that I’ll tell you about one day), who’s the last person in the pic below, and Tony Shalhoub from Wings and Monk – two shows that I’ve seen pretty much every episode of, back in the day.

That first guy – Mario Cantone – was hilarious, as was Mikey Day from SNL.

Ralph Macchio was also there, as well as Nia Vardalos from My Big Fat Greek Wedding – she was also hilarious.

The others were good, but they were the stars of the show, in my opinion.
Having said that, the show was 90 minutes, and I definitely feel that it coulda been a faster, more interesting 60-minute show.

If nuthin else, I don’t think celebrities with no writing chops – at all – should hold themselves out to be authors. The poetry of Matthew McConaughey, the love story of Kenny Loggings, and the musings of Khloé Kardashian were particularly funny/cringy.

Then again, maybe in a few decades, people might find this blog and find everything I write cringy.

In any case, while I’m not sure I woulda seen it but for RE Mike sending us the tix, it was a nice change from our usual.

Afterward, we stepped out into the warm spring evening.

Her: It’s supposed to be the hottest summer on record this summer.
Me: No!
Her: (nodding) Yup.
Me: (shaking head) Why do you gotta ruin everything? (grumble)

Oddly, thinking about celebrities and their hidden talents – or lack thereof – got me to thinking about Scarlett Johansson’s song Relator, which was a song that I heard from a magazine I used to read to find new music – waaaaay before Spotify – called Paste Magazine.

I liked it before I found out it was her singing.

Here it is if you’ve never heard it before.

Location: midtown with the kid and his friends, looking for a kitchen and a party
Mood: heated already
Music: life’s for us to talk about (Spotify)
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The daily horrors

The Horror We Share

Sara: [My friend’s] moving back to Milwaukee.
Me: Even after her dad died?
Her: Yeah. She still has her mom. Plus, being back home made her miss it.
Me: I get that. I’ve only ever known or been in New York.

Sara and I were taking a stroll in the neighborhood recently when she suddenly jumped back.

Me: What?!
Her: (pointing) Look!
Me: What, I don’t…gah!

And that’s when I saw it – a full-sized replica of the monster from the horror film, The Nun just chilling in the passenger seat of someone’s car.

It’s just not something you see every day on the streets of the Upper West Side.

Then again, there are so many daily horrors that assault us that we barely register them anymore.

Sara has at least two friends that are either stricken with cancer themselves or someone they love dearly.

And I was just talking to a good friend of mine and he told me that another buddy of mine just left his job and moved back home to Florida to take care of his parents, BOTH of whom have cancer.

It truly is the emperor of all maladies.

It’s May again.

I think of Alison and my dad every single day but it’s always worse in May, although it’s not been as bad as it has in the past.

But even if I’m not reminded of them or their plights directly, I’m at an age where someone I know – either directly or indirectly – ends up getting cancer almost every single week and I think to myself:

Man, I know exactly what they’re going through. I hope they make it.

Really do.

Because it’s both jaw dropping and horrifying.

And yet, people just seem to go about their days as if everything is fine.

Then again, perhaps I truly am the weird one, because I’m so terrified of getting it and leaving the boy alone in the world.

Me: D’you know how many people get cancer in America?
Him: I gotta figure like…50%?
Me: Yup, you got that right. One outta two. That means, statistically speaking, you or I will get it. How people aren’t radically changing everything they’re doing in light of this information is beyond me.

My own mom is dealing with her own health issues – not cancer, thankfully, just age-related stuff.

But it reminds me that she’s mortal and not the young, vibrant woman that I picture in my head whenever I think of her.

It’s a bit like staring into the sun, I can only think about it so long before I have to turn my thoughts to something else because it’s too much to bear.

Can’t bear the thought of losing any more of my family. I’ve lost enough of them as it is.

I suppose that’s why people don’t radically change everything about their lives – because I think we’d all be paralyzed with fear if we truly thought about all the horror surrounding us on the daily.

Her: (staring at the nun mannequin) That’s so creepy. Who does that?
Me: Someone who wants to be in the HOV lane and doesn’t have anyone, I guess.

Location: home, trying to push all that doubt to the side of my mouth
Mood: horrified
Music: For when you go come in misery (Spotify)
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Logan’s 53

Once I was seven years old

Taking a brief pause in my riveting – riveting, I tell you – tale of our trip to Canada to tell you that I’m now 53 years old.

Half-a-century-plus-three.

Wild. I don’t feel 53 most days, although there are times that I’m rudely reminded that I am, in fact, that age.

Sara loves me and the kid still wants to hang out with me so there’s that.

Speaking of the kid, this is him at eight years old playing Seven Years by Lukas Graham.

I was last seven years old 46 years ago.

Here’s hoping I have another 46, maybe?

Back to the usual nonsense on Monday.

Now, wish me a happy birthday, alla you people that read me and never say anything.

Seven Years
by
Lukas Graham

Once, I was seven years old, my mama told me
“Go make yourself some friends or you’ll be lonely”
Once, I was seven years old

It was a big, big world, but we thought we were bigger
Pushing each other to the limits, we were learnin’ quicker
By eleven, smokin’ herb and drinkin’ burnin’ liquor
Never rich, so we were out to make that steady figure

Once, I was eleven years old, my daddy told me
“Go get yourself a wife or you’ll be lonely”
Once, I was eleven years old

I always had that dream like my daddy before me
So I started writin’ songs, I started writin’ stories
Something about that glory just always seemed to bore me
‘Cause only those I really love will ever really know me

Once, I was twenty years old, my story got told
Before the mornin’ sun, when life was lonely
Once, I was twenty years old

I only see my goals, I don’t believe in failure
‘Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major
I got my boys with me, at least those in favor
And if we don’t meet before I leave, I hope I’ll see you later

Once, I was twenty years old, my story got told
I was writin’ ’bout everything I saw before me
Once, I was twenty years old

Soon, we’ll be thirty years old, our songs have been sold
We’ve traveled around the world and we’re still roamin’
Soon, we’ll be thirty years old

I’m still learnin’ about life, my woman brought children for me
So, I can sing them all my songs and I can tell them stories
Most of my boys are with me, some are still out seekin’ glory
And some I had to leave behind, my brother, I’m still sorry

Soon, I’ll be sixty years old, my daddy got sixty-one
Remember life and then your life becomes a better one
I made a man so happy when I wrote a letter once
I hope my children come and visit once or twice a month

Soon, I’ll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold
Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me?
Soon, I’ll be sixty years old
Soon, I’ll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold
Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me?
Soon, I’ll be sixty years old

Once, I was seven years old, my mama told me
“Go make yourself some friends or you’ll be lonely”
Once, I was seven years old
Once, I was seven years old

Location: well past middle age
Mood: creaky
Music: Soon, I’ll be sixty years old (Spotify)
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That sweet child of mine

A hellava guitarist

Him: Sweet Child o’ Mine? What do you think?
Me: I think that’s a great choice!
Him: Yay! It’s an old song so the parents know it.
Me: (sighing)
Him: What?

The kid had his talent show recently – like the last time and the time before that, he was the closing act  – probably because he’s consistently one of the best performers.

Although I think he’s the best performer.

I may be biased but…

Soundman: Is that your kid?
Me: Yup!
Him: (nodding) He’s a hellava guitarist.

That’s him above wearing a Scenic Fights tee-shirt.

He wanted to support us, which was really sweet of him.

This year was pretty eclectic with everything from jugglers to a science show.

And K-Pop Demon Hunters was clearly on a lotta kids minds.

But, for me, the kid was the star of the show – although he did have one little screwup

He got the biggest cheers and applause – which I was thrilled for him to have.

He was beaming from ear-to-ear afterward.

Afterwards, the kid wanted pizza, so I brought him to Patsy’s on the UWS but was so disappointed to find out it closed.

Sara: (checking phone) Looks like it closed in January.
Me: What?! Nooooo! I just checked, it said it was open. Man…

So, we went off to our usual bistro for him to get some pretty-good-but-not-Patsy’s-good pizza, but he ended up ordering pasta.

Me: Wait, no pizza?
Him: But they have vodka sauce!
Me: Fiiiine.

Alison’s mom came – like she always does. She’s never missed a performance.

Sara’s also never missed a performance either, which I’m very grateful for, and so did Sara’s son.

Alison’s mom gave the kid a gift afterward to reward all his hard work, which he seemed to really love.

Here’s a video of his performance; I had to crop it pretty small, but you can still get most of his performance.

There was a tiny slip-up in one of his transitions but I’m still super proud of him.

It was a great day, and I’ll take as many great days as I can.

Location: Hoboken, finally having some killer pizza
Mood: stuffed and beat
Music: Reminds me of childhood memories (Spotify)
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Be different: Listen to new music

Avoiding Stasis

Friend: Honestly, music stopped being good after 2010.
Me: I dunno about that.
Her: There’s literally nothing I can stand on the radio anymore.

In 2015, Spotify looked at its user data and found that people stop listening to new music after the age of 33.

At least in the US.

See, in the UK, where they use something called Deezer, that company discovered that Britons stop listening to new music at 30…and a half.

What adult uses “and a half?”

In any case, my point being that, in nature, there are only three states: Growth, stasis, and decline.

Me?

I keep wanting to put as much (natural) space between me and decline as possible and that means avoiding stasis wherever and whenever possible.

That doesn’t just mean seeing old friends, working out, eating well, and doing some deep thinking.

It also means listening to new music, because, if I don’t, I’m at least in stasis, if not decline.

And I can’t have that.

Not when the kid’s this young.

Music is a unique art form because, unlike, say, a sculpture, which is carved, and then just exists, music is created and has to be played or performed.

But, as you hear it, it can be remembered, heard, and anticipated – you can guess a lyric or beat because music requires a rhythm of some sort – so that it exists in the entirety of time itself, past, present, and future all at once.

Music is profoundly human is because it’s the only artform that only exists entirely in time and disappears once it’s done as if it never existed at all.

Kinda like us.

So, with all due respect to my friend, listen to new music, and fight the stasis.

Him: You’ll come to my talent show? I’m playing XXXX.
Me: I love that song! And of course – have I missed one yet?
Him: No…
Me: Then I wouldn’t worry too much, kiddo.

For the past few years, I’ve put all the music from this blog into this Spotify playlist here, if you want some new tracks on the regular.

Or just keep reading and click on the music links below (I get a few cents if you end up buying the song on Amazon, just fyi).

Location: the bathroom, installing a bidet
Mood: bidet-ed
Music: they say you know when you know (Spotify)
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