An early birthday
Well, that part worked out; the part afterward with my other buddy was a complete mess.
Because I’ve been an entrepreneur and lawyer for over two decades, I give a lotta free advice to people. Normally I bill at $325 an hour; $225 an hour for friends and family.
Lemme tell you, people are much more deferential with your time when you bill them $325 an hour at 15 minute intervals versus when you do work for them for free.
Anywho, this buddy of mine ate up close to 3.5 hours of my time and finally, I had to just bolt.
In the end, though, he reached out to me, apologized, said he felt awful, and then sent me $300 to cover some of the cost.
People have mocked me for my three-step apology but it works. If I didn’t take the apology then, I would be the jerk.
So alls well that ends well.
Part of the reason that I was so irritated was that it was my last few days before the boy came back from my in-laws and I was pressed to get as much done as possible.
Also, because I’ve been alive for exact 17,520 days. I only have 9,000 days left. Of those 9,000, you gotta figure that only 5,000 are gonna be any good.
I did know that I wanted to get to the gym as much as I could, so the next day I got one final class in with Chad.
Chad: You have to move the shoulder back first to expose the ankle, then use your chest and spine to do the actual ripping.
Me: So, pulling the hands up high…
Him: …only tightens the grip. It’s your body that rips through the muscle and ligaments.
That conversation probably sounds very odd to you but it’s all quite normal for me.
It’s related to that old weak bean soup and insect vomit story I told you about years ago: What’s normal to one group can sound/be abhorrent to another.
On that note, Chad took me out for my birthday on Saturday with a buncha guys from our old gym. I think he wanted to do something like what I did for him and Mouse last year.
Holy crap, I’m turning 48 in six days.
Then again, getting old is a luxury. This time last year, I spent completely alone, covered in my sweat and piss so this was an upgrade, regardless of how you look at it.
My buddy Stan stopped by as well.
Stan: It’s your birthday? Jesus Christ, you’re like Benjamin Button, you’re getting younger every time I see you.
Me: It’s all the booze and women.
Chad: I swear to god, Logan’s a fucking vampire.
We went to my fave authentic Szechuan Chinese joint in the hood to support local Asian-owned businesses.
I ordered some of my favourite dishes and they were all a hit with the fellas.
Thor: This food is great! Good choices.
Me: Chad, be careful. These dishes have a lot of Szechuan peppercorns in them which are different than regular hot food.
Him: I’m in it. It’s happening.
I was honestly there for the carbs – the glorious, glorious carbs. Well, that and the whiskey sours.
The fellas asked me what I would be doing if I could do anything and I told them that I wanted to a law professor once. Alison hoped I would be.
Instead, I’m teaching people how to stab other people. Life’s weird.
Me: Our legal system is one of the richest in the world.
Him: How so?
Me: Because it’s the amalgam of three, very different but related legal histories. It all started in 1066 with William the Conqueror, who should be considered as French, not English. Anywho, he started this thing called the Domesday Book…
Chad reached for the check but Thor grabbed it and covered everyone. I was touched.
Afterward, we headed to one of my old haunts around the way, Dive 75.
Me: I had to stop going for a while.
Me: Well, I picked up so many women at this bar that I kept running into them for years afterward.
Him: You’re not gonna have that problem anymore.
The weather was nice so we sat outside and traded our stories until late.
48. Nothing in my life is as I expected it to be.
Although I try to find humor where I can.
Him: (building a train set and we were missing a piece) Dammit!
Me: You can’t say that!
Him: You say that.
Me: (sighing) Admittedly, that does sound reminiscent of me, but you still can’t say that. It’s an adult word.
Him: When I can say it?
Me: I need to get back to you on that.