Tag: friends

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St. Paddy’s with Indian and Irish-American food

A weekend of food and trains

ABFF: Hey last min but any chance you guys could do dinner this Fri or Sat?

It’s been a busy week or so for the kid and me – well, it was a busy weekend of food, at least.

We started off by heading to ABFF’s for dinner with her kids, my kid, the Firecracker, and some of the ABFF’s friends.

The adults basically just chatted while the kids were up to something.

We’d been on an Indian kick lately, so we all had that.

A few days later, I made some corned beef and cabbage for St. Paddy’s Day.

Then we went to my SIL to swim at her pad again.

The Firecracker’s kid and my kid had a grand time.

With us taking the light rail…

…and PATH afterward, which both boys got a kick outta.

As for me, I liked the rando artwork everywhere in Jersey City and Hoboken.

Me: Did you have a fun time?
Him: Yes! Can we do it all again next week?
Me: (laughing) It’s not really up to me, but I’m sure we’ll find something fun to do, yeah?
Him: Yeah!

Location: home, working on the garden
Mood: proud of the kid – I’ll tell you why later
Music: She took the midnight train going anywhere (Spotify)
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A party and grossness

So much grossness

The kid got invited to his friend’s birthday party the other day, so we all headed down to Chelsea Piers again.

Like I said before, it’s always nice to be included.

Felt bad this time around because we had the four of us – the kid and me, and the Firecracker and her kid – but the hosts were super kind and told us we were all welcome so off we went.

The kids had a blast…

…and my own kid ate his weight in…stuff.

Now, in the middle of it, some other kid ate some of the fruit with the serving tongs, which he put into his mouth.

As soon as he put the tongs down, I grabbed it and asked one of the helpers to replace it, which he did.

Unfortunately, I might not have caught it in time.

See, later on that night, he got hit HARD with a stomach bug.

Can’t say for sure that it was because of that kid, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

In any case, I’ll not post pics but just trust me when I tell you that it was spectacularly gross.

The kid’s friend that lives next door to us and always invites us over for holidays also got ridonk sick.

It was a pretty rough three days for both of them and they both had to miss a day of school – the Firecracker and her kid (luckily) didn’t get sick.

Oh, I should mention that the Firecracker – after 10PM, which is when the kid had his worst bout of grossness – immediately donned some gloves and kneeled into the thick of the grossness to help me clean it up, something she absolutely didn’t have to do but I was deeply grateful that she did.

Me: (in between dry heaving) I’m so sorry about this. Thank you for helping.
Her: (cleaning) Of course. I used to be a schoolteacher. This stuff doesn’t bother me.

Speaking of knees, it’s stuff like that that makes me think she’s just the bees’ knees.

Most of the time.

Me: I think that I’m pretty chill these days because I’m…
Her: …old.
Me: (shaking head) That really wasn’t necessary.

Location: the supermarket for the third time in one day because I’m so forgetful these days
Mood: fat
Music: Now I’m taking sips of your potion (Spotify)
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Memory Lane

Not that there’s anything wrong with that

After the Firecracker and I came back from her surprise shower, we then dashed off to our local dive bar – Malachy’s – and met up with my old roomie, Buckley.

We actually lived in the same dorm waaaaaay back in 1991 (!) and kept in touch after I left.

When he moved into the city, he and I became roomies and, after a few years, he and I bought our apartment together.

I remember that my dad had questions.

Dad: You…and Buckley…are buying an apartment? Together?
Me: Yeah, why?
Him: Well…is there anything else you wanna tell me?
Me: (puzzled) No, why? (thinking) OMG! No, we’re just friends. And poor. We’re poor friends. We can’t afford a place alone, so we need to pool our money together.
Him: Oh…
Me: (quickly) Not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re just poor.

This is us in 1998, right before we bought the place.

I dunno what we were thinking with those sweaters or my goatee.

In any case, we met up at Malachy’s because that and Big Nick’s – which is where the main picture was taken – were the two greasy spoon dives that we always went to.

It’s weird. He looks like him just…older. And I’m the same.

We were literally kids when we met – like 17. And now his son is not that far off from the age when we first met.

Rain Noe, Logan Lo

And I’ve been chatting with Rain a lot these days.

He’s just dealing with some real estate issues and that’s kinda what I do.

That’s a pic of us back in 1998 downtown. I think at a joint called Stingy Lulu‘s (or Yaffa Cafe).

Big Nick’s is long gone – it closed back in 2013 and I wrote about it. I remember chatting with Alison about it.

Stingy Lulu’s has been gone for decades – as has Yaffa Cafe.

The thing about being 51 in 2025 is that I don’t really have any pictures or videos of some of the most seminal moments of my life.

This was a little bit after he moved out and Alison moved in.

Because, back then, cameras were crappy and usually just film or – in my case – crappy digital.

Did you know that your memories aren’t replayed, they’re reconstructed each and every time you remember them?

That means that every time you remember thing, there’s a (high) chance you’ll alter that memory a bit and those alterations keep piling up until you can’t trust your own memories anymore?

And that’s why I wish I had better pictures/videos to remember my possible pasts with.

Luckily, I have my friends to help me remember those memories.

Me: He was a quant at Long Term Capital, right?
Him: No, he was a programmer – he was on his way to being a quant when it imploded.
Me: Gotcha – I didn’t know that.

Unfortunately, I don’t have Alison here to remember the memories that mattered the very most to me.

Ah, fuck…

This is what my room looked like when it was just me and Buckley – two bachelors in the city.
A dragonfly from this entry in 2008. I have questions about that day but no one to ask.

Location: this morning, looking up therapists for various reasons
Mood: messy
Music: saw my life in a strangers face and it was mine (Spotify)
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Goodnight, Peter

He was my friend and I’ll miss him

Her: What are you writing about?
Me: Peter.
Her: Oh, did you know him well enough to write about him?
Me: Well, his life is his story to tell. I’m just gonna write about my life and his role in it.

Pausing the usual nuthin again.

Almost exactly 17 years ago, I wrote about my buddy Mike, who was a regular in my kali class.

Older fella, I still remember that Mike had a six-pack at 65+.

Mike was the first guy that I knew as a friend that died.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the last.

Mike died before social media so I’ve forgotten what he looks like.

But he was my friend, and I miss him.

Peter Moretti was like Mike in that he would always come to class and be a bit confused and not get certain moves because, like Mike, he was older.

But he never stopped coming and never stopped trying to be better.

This is him just a few days before he died.

His dedication, plus his incredibly easy-going and kind nature, was how I always saw him.

His Facebook feed was/is fulla things like him feeding birds like woodpeckers and ducks.

After knowing Peter a few years, I found that he was a karate instructor and fighter who could do things that I only dreamed about being able to do.

In fact, he just posted a buncha photos of himself as a young man two days before he died.

 I realize now that Mike and Peter are essentially me.

They were both skilled and dangerous fighters that were once in peak physical shape.

But time takes its toll on alla us.

I figure that, in a few years, I’ll be the guy that people have to help with certain moves or things.

And they too will be surprised that I was once anything but an older fella.

In any case, I just saw Peter maybe two weeks ago. I worked with him some.

We weren’t close, at all, but we got along well.

He died in his sleep and left a buncha people that loved him and will miss him.

That’s a good way to go, if you’ve gotta go, I say.

Goodnight, Peter.

You’ve worked hard enough, and you’ve earned your rest.

Her: You don’t want to make his death about you.
Me: I get that, but I also don’t ever feel right telling someone else’s story.
Her: That’s true.
Me: It’s a delicate balance. I suppose the main point is that the people in our lives are part of the fabric of it and Peter was a part of mine. I’ll never see him again and he was someone that I always liked seeing.

Location: last night, the surgeon’s, drinking up a ton of rum
Mood: wistful
Music: You’ll have to learn, just like me and that’s the hardest way (Spotify)
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Not a Millennial

Six?!

Met up with Kung and my buddy Brando for lunch the other day.

The last time I ate with both of them, I was a complete mess as Alison had just died and I was doing whatever I could to stay sane and alive.

This time around, enough time had passed that I was able to just chill out and joke with them.

Me: Is there light beer happening at the dumpling joint?
Him: There better be!

While Kung is Chinese, Brando is Australian, which is a country that has the most Chinese in the world, outside of Asia.

This is relevant because they wanted soup dumplings for lunch and Brando suggested this one joint near his gym.

Me: Kung, as the only other true dumpling connoisseur of the group, do you agree? 
Brando: He LOVED the dumplings.
Me: Kung, don’t let the white man unduly influence you; what did you think?
Brando: How dare you assume I am not an expert in soup dumplings? It’s because I’m white, isn’t it?
Kung: Legit!

So, I went to their gym first and rolled around on the mats for the first time in ages and then we made it to the restaurant where we ordered six trays of soup dumplings.

Waiter: SIX? (holds up his hands with six fingers) Six?
Me: (nodding) Six. We’re hungry.
Brando: And we need some garlic bok choi.
Me: That too.

Another buddy was supposed to eat with us, but he’s got this insanely demanding job and literally had to fly out to another state last minute, a few hours before we were supposed to meet up.

Him: Hey boys, so sorry I missed lunch the other day I severely underestimated what [my bosses needed me to do]. I haven’t seen daylight since Thursday morning!

Him: Are you really gonna take a picture of your food? What are you, a Millennial?
Me: Clearly not. (shrugging) I just like taking pics of food for myself.

It was nice seeing them; we met some 15-20 years ago and we’re still friends even now.

The older I get, the more I value the people that chose to stick around.

Location: home with the boy and dealing with literal growing pains
Mood: concerned
Music: I was bad now I’m better (Spotify)
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Birthdays at Sappe

Not spicy at all

Met up with my college buddies the other night for Cappy and Gar’s birthday.

We’ve been getting together every February to celebrate Gar and Cappy’s birthday since…well, since a few years after we graduated college, way back in 1996 or so.

The first time I mentioned us meeting was back in 2007 in this entry.

Back then, everyone didn’t have a camera with them 24/7 and I also wasn’t sure how much of my life I’d be blogging about.

Some 18 years later, I’m obviously blogging a lot more.

This year, we met up at a joint called Sappe downtown.

Despite a massive snowstorm that night, the place was packed…

…the drinks were killer…

…as was the food.

What’s odd was that the single spiciest thing we ate was this strawberry fruit salad.

Think I ate the most, about six strawberries. And then I was done – my mouth was on fire.

This is saying a lot as about half the table was Korean and they’re no strangers to spicy food.

The rest of the food was spicy but not obscenely so.

Well…

Her: will you try it first? It looks good but I can’t handle much spice.
Me: Sure! (later) It’s not spicy at all.
Her: (takes bite, instant red face) OMG! Are you trying to kill me?? That’s soooooo spicy!
Me: What?! There’s no spice to it. (takes another bite and starts to cough) OMG…I just got a pepper. That is so spicy!
Her: I told you!

Also, chatted up a fella that was there with a whole crew of people celebrating their friend Eli’s 30th – they all wore the same shirt.

Eli has quality friends.

Afterward, we hit up a bar close to the restaurant…

…but had to bolt a bit early because the snow was seriously coming down.

All-in-all, it was a great night. Saw my friends and hung out with my girl.

Not a bad way to start off the new year.

Location: the dentist’s, telling him he’ll be ok
Mood: exhausted
Music: all I want – I promise that it’s not a lie – is to be your friend (Spotify)
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Another Love Cover

Japanese BBQ in the UWS

The kid had his second recital the other day and played Tom Odell’s Another Love.

This is him playing in his first, if you never saw it.

I’d never heard of the song before and there’s on expletive in the original, but he really wanted to play it and his music teacher felt it was a good choice.

So, I let him do it.

Think it turned out pretty well, actually.

Afterward, we ended up having dinner at the same joint that the Firecracker and I went to a year-and-a-half ago.

And, we ended up going with the same family we went with the last time, except that they also brought a family friend along – who just happened to be Japanese.

Me: (to my friend) You could have mentioned that she was Japanese! That’s like me bringing a Scottish person to McDonalds and calling it Scottish food.
Her: (laughing) It’s fine! Actually, this food is pretty good Japanese food.
Me: You’re being nice, but I’ll take it.

The woman actually spoke perfect English; I woulda thought she was from NYC if she didn’t say that she was originally from Tokyo and lived there still.

We got onto the topic of alla useless facts rattling around in my head.

Her: Like what?
Me: Well, I see you’re wearing a Columbia jacket. That company was founded by this German family that fled the Nazis and left behind their successful clothing company. When they got here, the found someone selling a clothing company, immediately bought it, and renamed it after the Columbia River.
Her: (laughing) How do you know all that?
Me: I have no idea.

This is true.

The vast majority of facts I know are (a) useless and (b) of completely unknown origins.

Somehow, these interesting stories stick around in my brain.

And now, maybe it’ll stick in yours?

Location: Early morning, upstairs, trying to replace a shower door
Mood: groggy
Music: Words, they always win, but I know I’ll lose (Spotify)
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Hot Pot and Seafood Around the Way

At the Mermaid Inn

It’s been brutally cold around here lately so, recently, we did what most Asian families traditionally did when it’s completely brick outside: We had hot pot.

It was good because we wanted to a dry run at home before we did it at my friends-around-the-way‘s pad, because one of their sons is both really into cooking and also really into hot pot so we said we’d head to theirs and have a little hot pot cookout.

On that note, they contacted us the other day because they wanted to take us out for our engagement as well.

Her: Can we take you and Firecracker out to celebrate?
Me: Hola! That’s such a generous offer – I feel like it’d be cheeky for me to accept. But we’re definitely still down to do hot pot by yours; let me check those dates with her and see what works best for everyone?
Her: Not cheeky!

So, the other day, we took them up on their offer and met them at a restaurant around us called The Mermaid Inn.

The restaurant had been a few blocks north of us, originally, and closed during COVID only to reopen at a bigger space closer to our pad.

It was a pretty fun evening where we discussed politics…

Me: I’m avoiding all news and probably will for the next four years.
Him: Smart.
Me: I figure half of America lives in complete ignorance so why shouldn’t I?

…real estate…

Her: You know, [at our summer home’s town] Dutch Schultz‘s farmhouse is up for sale.
Me: How much?
Her: $4.5 million?
Me: No kidding? I have that on me right now.

…and just life in general.

They ended up ordering dessert, as did the Firecracker – Key Lime Pie.

Her: You’re not getting anything?
Me: I’ll just share some of yours and I’ll get myself a White Russian.
Her: As dessert again?
Me: Yup, an alcoholic dessert. Can’t really go wrong there.

You really can’t.

Afterward, we went back to their place, met their new dog, and then checked out the outdoor space.

Her: You could have the reception for your wedding here!
Me: We might actually take you up on that!

I’ll keep you all posted.

Location: in front of my oven, re-seasoning a carbon steel pan
Mood: annoyed
Music: Words, they always win, but I know I’ll lose (Spotify)
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Fire and Ice

Bone-chilling

Her: Have you seen my cow slippers? It’s freezing.
Me: Since meeting you, I’ve heard sentences I’ve never heard ever in my life. Which is saying a lot, because I’m over half-a-century old.
Her: You told me I bring joy and light to your life.
Me: I say a lotta things.
Her: (glares)

It’s been bone-chillingly cold out here lately – and not just between the Firecracker and me.

Like, seriously bone-chilling:

But that also meant some snow and sledding out around here, which is a welcome thing for the kids.

Both kids were excited to get their snow on, so we were up insanely early to let them do it.

There was hardly anyone there when we first arrived.

But that was relatively short-lived.

Which is fine because the Firecracker and I were both freezing.

Her: I’m glad we’re leaving. I can’t feel my toes. (starts laughing).
Me: I can’t either. What are you laughing at?
Her: (pointing) That. Every time I come here, I see the remains of sleds that gave up the ghost.

My brother hates the snow and winter, which is why he lives in Pasadena.

But he and Paul have been dealing with the opposite problem of ice and snow, and that’s fire and ash.

Which sounds a lot like what we had to deal with here two years ago.

This is a pic of his backyard…

…usually, those pools are pristine.

Smoke and ash notwithstanding, he knows that he’s among the lucky ones, at least so far.

Paul and one of the Scenic Fights producers had to evacuate and one of them is just a few blocks from my brother’s pad.

Me: Can I post these pics?
Him: Sure, though what’s there is of course trivial compared to the sorts of calamities that befell houses up the way in Altadena. Those pics were from the morning of Tuesday the 8th, I think. The night before there were winds like I’ve only seen/heard maybe once before here in LA, it was nuts.
Me: Man…
Him: You know, I’m not sure I’ve used the word “befell” in a sentence befall.
Me: Are you proud of yourself here?
Him: It’s like Albert Shakespeare said, “Pride is a many-sided mirror.”
Me: (sighing)

Location: my living room, after the kid accidentally dropped his entire spaghetti dinner on the white rug
Mood: blargh
Music: You pulled the rug right out from under my life (Spotify)
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A mini-celebration

Dinner at The Mark

Him: Let’s get a date for dinner. With beautiful WAGs.
Me: Works for us!
Him: I was thinking The Mark?
Me: I’m more of a Grey’s Papaya kinda guy but that would work for us. We can’t do any earlier than 6:15, though, because of the rug rats.
Him: You can just leave them outside by the curb. OK, 7PM The Mark. More appropriate to the occasion.

The NFL Player and Thor dropped me a line the other day. They wanted to take me out to celebrate our getting engaged – wives and girlfriends included.

So, one cold evening, we bundled up, got our passports, and headed over to the east side of town to meet up at The Mark Hotel Jean-Georges restaurant.

I’d never been although I’ve driven by it dozens of times.

It was gorgeous inside.

It’s funny because the three of us were among the older people at our old gym; so, we immediately got to talking about alla our injuries.

Me: How’s your shoulder?
Thor: Eh, ok. How’s your back?
Me: (shrugging) Same.

On top of that, could barely read the menu because of the small print and the darkness of the restaurant so the NFL Player lent me his reading glasses.

Me: We’re hitting a new level here, fellas.

The NFL Player’s wife also deals with some back issues.

Her: You know, I could get you a pillow for your back. These seats will be difficult.
Me: OMG, I’ve reached this point in my life.
Her: (waving her hand) It’s fine. I’ll have one of the staff get you something.

And she did. And it was glorious.

The rest of the night was more highly inappropriate conversation, which I won’t repeat here.

Thor’s wife: …so lucky.
Me: (shocked and laughing) Jesus Christ, you barely had anything to drink yet.
Her: (dismissing it and laughing) Oh, I don’t need alcohol to be like this.

The food was absolutely killer – I ordered the steak…

…and got one of those tiny bottles of tabasco that I find so cute, to boot.

The Firecracker also enjoyed her dish and got dessert, which we shared, even though I really shouldn’t have.

Also tried some of Thor’s desert as well.

Afterward, we made our way back to the Upper West Side and civilization.

Her: Your friends are really nice.
Me: Agreed. I have no idea why they like hanging out with me.

Location: a winter wonderland(ish)
Mood: tired
Music: a middle aged man settled down on my soul but I’m not that old (Spotify)
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