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It only took 27 years

Everything takes forever

Me: I need a weapons area.
Her: You totally need a weapons area – you have so many!

Around late 2013, because Alison and I kept losing pregnancies, our lives just stopped.

It’s part of why I stopped blogging for a bit in 2015; because it was getting too hard to hide all the sadness and bad news that we kept getting.

Maybe one day I’ll tell you some of it.

Probably not, though. It still fucks me up to this day.

My kid helping with some baking I was doing; next to him are two of the three vacuums we had.

Of course, the bad news kept getting worse until it was the worst news we could ever imagine.

Our lives, just like the blog, was off schedule. All the plans we had and suspended, were suspended indefinitely.

One little thing was that, for 27 years, the radiator in my back bathroom wasn’t working.

The old owners disconnected it for some reason and Alison and I always said we were gonna hook it up again at some point.

As usual, life kept getting in the way.

But the other day, I decided to remove two of the three vacuums that I have in my pad, mounted on a wall – why I have three is a wholly separate story that I may or may not tell you about down the line.

Didn’t match at all.

Unfortunately, the paint that I thought would cover up the removal damage dried out after 15 years of sitting in my basement.

Me: Dammit!

So, I went to my local paint store and had them match the paint. It didn’t match well at all.

Me: GODDAMMIT!!

Cutting off a chip of the drywall, the second time around, they were able to match it relatively closely.

This then led to a chain of events that ended up with a plumber coming in the other day and hooking up the radiator in the back room.

Here, this 40 second video of Hal/Bryan Cranston more adequately explains what happened, as well as why everything takes forever around here:

There’s a lot more to it but lately I’ve doing stuff around the house that’s been waiting to happen for between 10-27 years.

Told Buckley – the fella I first bought the apartment with some 20+ years ago – about what was going on.

Me: Hola! I just had the radiator fixed in the back bathroom TODAY. Can you believe that I never changed it?
Buckley: Guten tag! I recall it didn’t work. Are you telling me it stayed broken until today? If so, that’s impressive.
Me: Yup, broken for 27 years until this morning at 11am.

Hopefully, 27 years’ll be my maximum time for letting things sit broken around here.

Then again, I suppose I’ve been broken for some 51+ years…

Location: my warm back bathroom!
Mood: warm!
Music: Feels like home (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Bahamas 2024, pt 1

A quick cruise to the Bahamas

The next day, we woke up and grabbed a cab to the Miami cruise terminal.

The main reason why I picked a cruise for the two of us was because it actually fit our schedule perfectly and we both love cruising.

It was a real quick four-day one on a pretty small ship but she was still pretty excited to go.

Unfortunately, while I was ok in Miami, by the time we boarded the ship, I was sick again.

I’m pretty sure that that French kid that was coughing up a storm while I was traveling back from NJ to see the Firecracker, got me sick.

In fact, that was one of the reasons I booked this cruise in the first place; I felt I missed out on a solid 1/3 of that cruise because I was sick.

Me: This stinks. The last cruise, I was out for the about a 1/3 of it, and this one looks like it’s gonna be the same.
Her: Sorry, baby. But let’s make the best of it.

So, we did.

Me: If nuthin else, I’m eating less than I normally do.
Her: You’re eating less? You’re still ordering all the appetizers and two entrees per meal.
Me: (puzzled) Yeah. Like I said, I’m eating less.
Her: (shakes head)

Unlike last time, it was pretty much non-stop eating, reading, and sleeping for me.

Which is my idea of a perfect vacation.

It didn’t hurt that the Firecracker was there with me.

My sleep was pretty awful the entire time because my cold ended up being the kind where you cough all night and don’t end up getting a single good night of sleep.

That was super annoying.

We didn’t do much, at all on this trip but I have enough pics to put them into a second entry.

So, I’ll see you for that.

Until then, here’s a cool video of our departing the port – it’s sped up 10X, so this is a ten-minute video in exactly one minute.

Location: evidently, the arctic
Mood: frigid and tired
Music: it was only us when it was only us (Spotify)
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Three holiday parties in one day, Pt 2

Still crashing parties

After I left the previous party, I hopped onto the train to head to the Lower East Side.

Got off at the wrong stop so I had to high-tail it about a half-mile in the freezing cold.

Kept marveling how much that part of the city had changed since my old days of hanging out in Rain’s pad downtown.

Some things don’t change, though. Like these people playing ping pong outside despite the absolutely frigid weather.

I was the third guy to arrive; it was just five of us because others in the group already had other plans.

It was still nice to see everyone.

We ordered a buncha dishes…

…but didn’t get the King Crab – which started at $500.

Luckily, the table next to us did:

Speaking of the table next to us, I ended up chatting up with some of them because they had more wine bottles on their table than I’d ever seen in the past.

Him: Try some (of our wine).
Me: Well, I’m not saying no to alcohol.

As for us, my buddy SJ’s been playing prank on our buddy Gar for years – years – now, where he tells the waitstaff that it’s Gar’s birthday.

Afterward, we hit up my fourth spot for the night, a dive bar right next door.

Me: What is that?
Him: A pickle martini.
Me: A pickle martini?!
Him: (shrugging) I like martinis. I like pickles.
Me: (nodding) Fair.

Stayed for just a single drink before I left to make the long trek home.

Slipped into the kid’s room and he stirred.

Him: (sleepily) You’re home.
Me: (whispering) See, I told you I’d come home and see you.
Him: (nodding)

By the time you read this, it should be 2025 – blows the mind, really.

I’m super behind with entries just because I’ve been so active lately and there’s so much going on.

Bear with me as I try and catch up?

Location: The aft of a ship, watching Miami go by
Mood: a little under the weather
Music: Every time you smell sunscreen baby, do you see me (Spotify)
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Showing up

What it means for a kid

It’s been a super-busy few weeks.

The kid had a party at his school the other day, so I went there.

I was just five mins late when I arrived.

He was so happy to see me that he yelled out, “Papa!” and then ran to me when I walked in; all the other parents and kids turned to look.

It made me think of alla kids whose parents don’t come to these things.

Him: You came!
Me: I said I would come!
Him: I know, I just…let me show you my diorama!

Don’t think that most people – myself included – really understand how much it means for a kid to have a parent show up for these types of things.

Hope that, when he’ll inevitably be mad at me, he remembers that I tried my best to be there.

@happiestofficial The moment she realised… 🥺 #fyp #foryoupage #showingupmatters #momlife #corememory #christmas ♬ Married Life (From “Up”) – Sergy el Som

On a different note entirely, I’d left a few things at Steel’s pad the prior week so we found ourselves back there again, with the kids swimming while I fixed a computer issue that was bothering them.

Of course, Steel cooked up a storm:

Him: These are some fried gnocchi with some sauce to dip it in.
Me: I’ve never had them before.
Him: Me neither but they sounded good.
Me: (trying one) Dammit, they are. I gotta stop eating so many carbs.
Him: Try a cookie – that’s a new recipe too – there are sprinkles on and in the cookie.
Me: Oh man…

Because of what happened at the Surgeon’s pad a while back, he bought a crate of an assortment of seriously top-shelf rum that I thoroughly enjoyed.

He also gave me a jar of oregano that was grown by a family friend of his in Greece.

Cannot describe how amazing it smells.

Went home and immediately made some Greek Lemon Chicken, which ranked among the best I’ve ever made.

All-in-all, it was a good weekend, although I am getting concerned with how much I’ve been eating these days.

I’ll fix that in 2025.

Location: waiting at my desk to head to two more food things – I’m gonna be huge soon.
Mood: thinking skinny thoughts
Music: Time moves fast and slow, changing not at all then changed before we know it (Spotify)
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Big Apple Circus, Pt 2

44 years between shows

The rest of the acts were all equally amazing.

There was the acrobat that dangled above the hard floor without a net…

…and then reappeared later to hang off her partner’s neck.

Me: Man, my back hurts just watching that.
Him: (laughs)

Oh, speaking of backs, on the walk there, we were all getting drenched, but it was also destroying my back sitting there for a solid hour.

Me: (to the usher) Hey man, I’ve got a crap back. Can I do some squats in the hallway?
Him: (laughing) Sure. Sorry to hear about your back.
Me: (nodding and starting to do some squats) Yeah, I’m sorry to say it. Getting older stinks but is still better than the alternative.

There was only one animal act (dogs) versus what I remember as kids, but otherwise, it was still a lot of what I remember as a kid.

There were jugglers…

…tightrope walkers…

…aerialists…

…and clowns.

The boys were dying laughing with the clowns.

Walking home was absolutely brutal because the rain plus sitting for two hours destroyed my back.

But it was all worth it because the kids were so jazzed about seeing the circus for the first time.

Me: What did you think?
Him: I loved it! Can we go again?
Me: Sure, maybe next year?
Him: A whole year!?!
Me: Hey, I waited 44 years between shows.
Him: 44…?! Wow…you’re so old.

Location: about to head out to Japanese BBQ with the Firecracker’s family
Mood: beat tired
Music: sometimes the truth is harder than the pain (Spotify)
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Big Apple Circus, Pt 1

His first circus

It’s been months since it rained here in the big city but the night it began to rain for three days was the same night that I brought the kid out to his first circus.

You can see the very top of the big top in the center.

I remember my first circus – this is me with my brother and his friend.

I think I’m about seven in this – and just starting to get chunky.

I’d won four tix to the Big Apple Circus at Lincoln Center with absolutely killer seats.

The thing about the BAC is that they played in two places growing up – just a few blocks from my parents home in Queens and the literally across the street from my law school.

I remember for years walking past these signs on the way to or from Law School and thinking: Maybe someday I’ll check it out.

And last week was that day.

Unfortunately, the Firecracker and her kid couldn’t make it, so we invited one of the kid’s classmates.

To say that they loved it is an understatement.

Pretty much the whole night:

Him: WOW! How did they…?
Friend: DID YOU SEE THAT?!

The last time I was in the circus was 1980 – 44 years ago (!!).

Back then, this was my absolute favourite act – although in the version I saw the guys rode a motorcycle in it!

And the acts were pretty much all amazing, like this contortionist…

…and these guys who were doing some pretty intense flying moves.

But this entry’s getting super long so I’ll continue this in the next one?

Until then, here are two more quick videos:

Location: home, trying – very unsuccessfully – to block out the jackhammers outside my window
Mood: annoyed
Music: In the pouring rain, putting back the pieces of a broken dream (Spotify)
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It was my mom’s birthday

Parthian Chicken

It was my mom’s birthday the other day.

We were originally all going to see some other relatives before we saw her for dinner.

So, I rented a car since it was the four of us: Me, the kid, the Firecracker, and her kid.

But, at the last minute, my other relatives cancelled, and it was too late to cancel the car.

Since we had it, we just went on a little car-ride to Ikea out in Long Island where the kid had their Swedish meatballs and I got (another) planter, this time for a lemon tree that Bryson got me.

The Meyer Lemon tree that Bryson gave me. He insists that I can grow lemons at home; the jokes on him because I am incredibly bad at getting plants to produce flowers or fruit.

Afterward, we drove back and I picked up dinner for everyone – it wasn’t a lot because most of us were full, including my sis and her kids.

It was still good, though.

Anywho, my mom’s getting older but still working because her job gives her joy.

I envy her, in many ways; she found purpose in her life that inspires her and keeps her active, both mentally and physically.

Feel lucky that she’s still around and gets to see the boy grow up.

This year will be the first year that we’re doing Thanksgiving at my place – the first time in close to 30 years of my being here (!)

So, I’ve been practicing making Parthian Chicken, which is a 1,500 year-old recipe that I got from a YouTube Channel I like called Tasting History.

It’s unlike any other chicken dish I’ve ever had because it has this spice called Asafoetida (“hing” in Indian groceries) and…well, it absolutely stinks.

As does the garum/fish sauce that is used to season it.

I bought this one. It does not smell good.

But the taste is just killer, and the smell essentially transforms into this really lovely thing after an hour of baking.

The Firecracker and I love it; her kid likes it, and my kid is less than thrilled.

Still, I think that it’ll be a nice change up from the usual Turkey and stuffing.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Location: standing in front of my desk because my back is absolutely killing me
Mood: guess
Music: Say you’ll be there, when I need you (Spotify)
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Water, water, everywhere…

Fairly self-evident

I’d just settled down in front of my computer after being busy with nonsense all morning to actually get some work done when a tenant franticly called me.

She had water dripping down from her ceiling at a fairly fast clip so I ran upstairs to see what the matter was.

That was the start of another two-day odyssey with water, plumbers, and workmen.

We needed to get into the apartment above her, but I had the keys to that. Or so I thought. It turns out that the owner either changed one of the locks or keys and I only had one of the three locks on the door.

Damn mortise lock again.

The start of the damage above the initial apartment. It got *much* worse – see the video below.

The unit owner was in Asia though and it was 3AM there. But this was an emergency.

Her: What do you mean, you don’t have the key?
Me: I feel that that’s fairly self-evident. I don’t have the keys.
Her: I gave you them. I rely on you to keep them for me.
Me: Yes, and I have the keys you gave me. They don’t work on the lock. Again, I don’t have the keys to your unit.

After a lotta back-and-forth, finally ran out to get a locksmith who got us in some two hours later.

But that was just getting into the apartment above.

The next step was getting a plumber in post 5PM and the same day.

That was another adventure, and he finally got to us after 7PM.

I’d already shut off water to the building but, by that time, a ton of water had already pooled.

The plumber found out that, just like my own kitchen sink, the pipe had snapped off in the unit two floors above the initial apartment.

The unit sandwiched between the two units – the unit right above the initial unit which I couldn’t gain entry to – was absolutely wrecked.

Spoke to the owner – still in Asia – who was grateful that I got to it when I did.

Still, I feel that, once she gets back, she’ll be unprepared for the amount of work that the unit will need to get clean and safe again.

As for me, I finally got to sit down and get to my own work the next day.

I could use a lot less excitement in my life, TBH.

Just a tiny bit of the damage that the broken pipe wrought.

Location: a playground with the kid, desperately trying to get work done
Mood: (trying to get) busy
Music: don’t wanna see behind your walls. You build them up so tall (Spotify)
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Halloween 2024

A losing battle

This year was the same as previous years but also a bit different.

In the past, we used to go out and wander all over the UWS. But something felt different this year.

My kid’s dressed up as French soccer player Kylian Mbappé.

I’d been reading about shootings in the area on the upswing and I just didn’t feel comfortable with Nate running around outside; especially since, in the past, there were times I felt penned in in some streets and the last thing I wanted at that time was some violence.

It turns out that I was right, because my sister wrote me to tell me that a McDonalds – which my kid and I’ve been to easily 2-3 dozen times – had a shootout just an hour after when we were supposed to start trick or treating.

So, while the Firecracker and her kid went trick-or-treating out and about, I only let the kid do it in the large apartment complex next door.

On the positive side, though, it’s nice that he and I have so many friends in the neighborhood that we have the opportunity to do things like that.

It stinks that kids can’t just be kids these days.

Like all parents, I try to shield him from what I can but it’s a losing battle.

Still, he’s such a resilient little kid, I’m hoping it’ll be ok, somehow.

Location: the kid’s BJJ class, watching him try to throw another kid
Mood: nostalgic
Music: maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me (Spotify)
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The most expensive grapefruit ever

It always pays to be prepared

Speaking of the law, I don’t often talk about the law (or martial arts) in this blog because it’s always supposed to be a personal blog, about my personal life.

But I’m always surprised how much my professional life/lives bleed into my personal one.

Case in point, the kid was punished for something he said he didn’t do.

So, I took time outta my day, gathered evidence, witnesses, etc, and appeared before the person accusing the kid of wrongdoing.

The issue happened at his school, not the gym, but I liked this shot of him doing his thing.

Was able to prove that he didn’t do what they accused him of, and he got an apology from an adult.

Him: But, Mr. Lo, I want to talk about your behaviour.
Me: (laughing) Wait, my behaviour?
Him: Yes. We had people there that said you were belligerent and abusive to my staff.
Me: Oh my! Well, good thing I have a recording of the entire episode – which I brought with me today. Here you go (hand him my phone).
Him: (takes my phone and then watches it) You recorded it?!
Me: (nodding) As you can see, I neither raised my voice a single time, nor did I attack your staff personally in any way with ad hominem attacks. I just told them they made a bad call, which we both agree is the truth.
Him: (after watching half) OK, I’ve seen enough. I’m glad you recorded it.
Me: Me too. I’ll send a copy to your email for your records.

And I did.

It always pays to be prepared, IMHO.

Unfortunately, you can’t prepare for everything.

OK, so one thing I read about my garbage disposal was to not put in very fibrous things – like woody stems and the like.

The other day, I had this HUUUUGE grapefruit and, without thinking, stuffed all the rinds and the interior skins down the disposal.

Ten minutes later, water came pouring outta my dishwasher.

Four days, one $80 brass elbow, one tube of plumber’s putty, two snakes, two bottles of drano, two general contractors, a professional plumber, and $1,100 later, I have a working sink again.

That was the most expensive goddamn grapefruit I’ve ever had in my life.

FTS.

I will say, though, that one good thing came out of this whole adventure, which is that the above is the pipe that leads into my wall.

You can see that it was so old – at least 40 years old – that the threads completely rusted off.

The plumber said it was wholly unrelated to the reason why he was there but that it was gonna snap off in the next year, what with alla the vibrations from the garbage disposal.

So, it was good he was there to catch it.

Oh, I bought a dashboard cam to record things as well.

Like I said, it pays to be prepared.

The people that shot the above video would agree with me, I think.

Location: in front of my disaster of a kitchen post plumber
Mood: poor
Music: I say hey, hey, hey, hey, F__ That S___ (Spotify)
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