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personal

This is not my family

A sleepover and then Shanghainese food

So, the whole reason that the kids went out for a sleepover with my sis was because my sister ran into her sixth-grade teacher and she invited my sister out to her beach house.

That, in a nutshell, tells you all you need to know about my sister.

She is as nice and kind as I am not.

Legit, only someone like my sister would get invited to someone’s house that she’s not seen in over 35 years.

Now, my sis sent me that picture above, but she noted that – for some inexplicable reason – AI changed everyone’s faces.

That’s why I’m not blocking out my kid’s face in the pic above, because AI already changed it. In fact, everyone’s picture was changed.

So. Weird.

He’s supposed to be the one resting his head on his cousin’s head in the middle.

My sis meeting her teacher made me think of Mrs. Reynolds and Mrs. Meltzer, two of the four teachers that were probably the most impactful in my life.

I wish I took down Mrs. Reynolds number or reached out to Mrs. Meltzer when I could have. They were such good people and teachers – I think everyone owes some good thing in one’s life to a good teacher.

One of these days, I’ll tell you about the other two teachers that I felt made the most difference in my life.

I didn’t get to see my mom just because she was in church at the time.

She’s at an age when she’s got a lot of free time but doesn’t quite know what to do with herself outside of work.

She’s got the most amazing green thumb, though, so I’m always trying to convince her to garden more.

I suppose, secretly, it’s also because I want some free, homegrown veggies.

Speaking of veggies, Sara and I liked the restaurant that we went to the previous day so much – it’s called Shanghai You Garden – that we decided to go again and bring the boys.

Him: Papa, can I get the cucumbers?
Me: Dude, I will always buy you any vegetable you want.
Him: Really?!
Me: Yup, done.

As for Sara and me, we essentially did a complete repeat of what we had the previous day.

Because when we find something we like, we run with it.

Afterwards, we all took a little walk around before heading home.

Sara’s kid entering his last year of middle school while my kid is entering his first.

This will be the first year that they’re going to the same school at the same time.

I wonder what this year will bring; actually, I wonder that every year.

He’s growing up so fast that I can’t keep up, which is both good and bad.

Him: Papa, can I tell you about the sleepover and the beach?
Me: I’d love to hear it! Lemme just get settled.
Him: OK! So, there’s this shower that’s the coolest shower, ever! It has three knobs and when you turn on the middle one, the water comes outta the bottom so you can test with your foot if it’s too hot or cold. Anyway…

 

Assume all links in this blog are monetized.
Location: in front of my scanner, scanning pictures of people I love and miss, terribly
Mood: melancholy
Music: I’m kinda in a better mood (Spotify)
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Why is it pink/orange, Janet?!

Cooking some salmon

My kid was supposed to head back to Alison’s parents this week but then my sister invited him over for a sleepover with her boys, so he went there instead.

This meant that Sara I could borrow my mom’s car to head back to the city for a night.

Me: I had a car in the city for over a decade. Man, I miss it.
Her: There are definitely times that I could use a car for work.
Me: Maybe someday we’ll get a car ourselves.

It used to be that parking in the city was rough but, these days – between the CitiBikes, new garbage cans, and the idiotic outdoor seating areas, which make zero sense to keep these days – it’s getting worse and worse to try to keep a car in Manhattan.

And what’s going on with the Orange One isn’t helping matters.

Me: I just spent $56 on a little over a half-a-tank of gas.
Her: You’re kidding.
Me: (sighing) I wish…

Before we went back home, though, we first stopped to get some food – something I’ll get more into in the next entry – which was just killer.

And then we went to a Chinese market where we got salmon steaks for less than $9 a pound and then headed back home in my mom’s whip.

We also discovered that okra can grow to ridonk sizes as evidenced by the main pic above.

Me: I’m worried about finding parking.
Her: (waves her hand) It’s one of the last Saturdays before school starts. We’ll find parking.
Me: I dunno about that. (finds parking less than five minutes later)
Her: See! I told you…

Gotta say, I was always a pretty good parallel parker but with rear-view cameras, it’s so much easier.

Anywho, got home and made salmon for the first time in years.

I arranged them the way I first learned from Alton way back in 1999 but I cooked them the way my old friend from Cnet, Laura, taught me years ago.

Sara wanted hers her own way.

Her: I just don’t like mustard, Logan.
Me: (shakes head) Commie. (later) Did I ever tell you the joke about Janet and the salmon?
Her: (puzzled) I don’t think so.
Me: (cooking) So, this woman tells a salmon, “You’re so pretty, you know we have a colour named after you?” And the salmon goes, “Really?! That’s so cool, is it a nice silver grey like me?” The woman doesn’t answer and instead, turns her head. So, the salmon asks her repeatedly before he somehow finds out what the color is. “WHY IS IT A PINK/ORANGE, JANET?!”
Her: (laughs)

They both ended up looking very nice, though – I didn’t have any food-grade twine in the house, so I just used toothpicks, which wasn’t ideal but still got the job done.

We ended the night by killing a bottle of wine between us – and maybe a bottle of soju as well – and watching In The Grey.

All-in-all, it was a nice little break for us before we got the kids the next day, which I’ll tell you about in the next entry.

Assume all links in this blog are monetized.
Location: a drug store, trying to find steel wool
Mood: overwhelmed
Music: I wanna be your left-hand man (Spotify)
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Some television suggestions

Some must-watch TV

Her: Uh oh, the Chinese are after him!
Me: You never want the Chinese following you.
Her: I have a Chinese man following me around every day!

Like I said, I’m not really a TV show watcher anymore – I really only do it so Sara and I have something mindless to do.

Rain was pushing us to watch The Agency and Lioness for a while now; it was he that told us to catch Slow Horses – which, if you’ve not seen, is truly excellent.

If you look at the cast of Slow Horses, you’ll see a who’s who of British film and TV but Gary Oldman is just amazeballs in it.

He plays this super gross and curmudgeonly old spymaster in charge of the losers of the British spy agencies and it’s so damn good.

Mick Jagger wrote and sang the theme song because he loved the books so much and it pretty much sums up Gary Oldman’s backstory and that of the spies he manages:

Surrounded by losers
Misfits and boozers
Hanging by your fingernails
You made one mistake
You got burned at the stake
You’re finished, you’re foolish, you failed
There’s always a hope
On this slippery slope
Somewhere a ghost of a chance
To get back in that game
And burn off your shame
And dance with the big boys again
It’s a strange, strange game
Strange, strange game
Such a shame, shame, shame
Yes, a strange game

Think of it almost like a British Columbo, whom people are always counting out and under estimating.

Cannot recommend it highly enough.

For me, both The Agency and Lioness were OK – Sara enjoyed Lioness far more than I did – but Slow Horses is still the series to beat for us.

If you’ve not seen seen it, totally worth the watch.

It’s so good and has done so well in the UK (and here), that they’ve been shooting two seasons back-to-back, knowing that it’ll do well – that’s how good the show is.

Here’s the trailer for Season 6, which we’re anxiously awaiting.

Legit, totally worth a watch.

Assume all links in this blog are monetized.
Location: the rain, trying to hook up an electrical outlet – probably not the best time to do so
Mood: not electrocuted
Music: You’re finished, you’re foolish, you failed (Spotify)
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Getting from the world without expectation

Experience Camps

Me: I dunno, it’s a little early.
Him: (sighing) Ok, papa.
Me: (thinking) You know what, let’s just go. I don’t wanna be the reason we miss the bus.
Him: YAY!

The kid went off to camp today.

The same really wonderful camp he went to last year, Experience Camps.

Neither of us got any sleep last night: He, because he was too excited and I, because…well, I’m me and still an insomniac (although much better these days).

Even though we didn’t have to be there until 10:15 at the latest, we took off super early.

It was raining when we arrived – an empty parking lot in the middle of nowhere Brooklyn.

There was literally no one else around, so we just sat around for around 40 minutes until someone actually showed up.

Camp Counselor: So, what’s your…wait, you’re the guitar kid!
My son: (laughing) Yeah!

He was one of the first kids on the bus. He couldn’t wait to go.

I saw my own bus off in the distance and ran for it; it was gonna be a solid 15 minutes before the next one.

Heading home, I thought about something someone said once:

My son’s at an age where he still gets from the world, without expectation of giving anything return.

Soon, it will start to demand from him. And then Life will both demand and take.

And then my son, the child, will be gone forever, and he’ll be not-yet-a-man, and then a man.

None of which I’m prepared for.

Don’t think I’m ever prepared for the goodbyes.

Suppose no one ever is.

Him: I’ll be back soon, papa.
Me: I know. I’ll still miss you.

Location: in front of my non-functioning PC, realizing I’m gonna have to take it apart to get to a tiny battery
Mood: grumble
Music: I’m not losing you (Spotify)
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Doctor, Doctor

Super interesting

Me: Hey, do you remember when I went to the medemerge a few weeks ago?
Her: Yeah?
Me: Well, that doc and I are meeting up for dinner tonight.
Her: What?! Man, you are amazing at meeting people. Wait, it’s a male doctor, right?

It turns out that the doc is really into AI and what it can do for the medical community and I’ve been building these private AI machines for people just as a(nother) hobby and he wanted to know more about it.

Him: Actually, I’m German.
Me: Wirklich? Mein deutsch ist ja sehr schlect.
Him: Nien, Sie sprechen sehr gut deutsch.
Me: Das ist nicht war, aber danke.

I meet and know a lotta doctors, which is probably a good thing because goodness knows that I’m always injuring myself.

Speaking of doctors, the Shooting Doctor invited Sara and me to go out shooting with him this past weekend.

Somehow, between being a doctor, teaching, taking kali and other classes, he still has time to regularly attend – and win – shooting competitions.

So, bright and early last weekend, we went off to NJ to get some shooting done.

Those are bullets casings all around my feet.

He picked us up in Hoboken and we were at the range not that long afterward.

Can’t remember the last time I was at a shooting range.

The actual shooting was ridonk fun. Sara was clearly the better shot.

Me: That’s so impressive!
Her: I’m from the south. Everybody has guns.

But the star of the show was clearly the Shooting Doctor, because he was just nailing the bullseye with each shot.

For me, I did a lot better with the long guns than I did the pistols.

Him: You guys should shoot more.
Me: We’re down!
Her: We just need to find the time and a way to get there.

Afterwards, we were all the mood for some Greek/Turkish/Mediterranean food, so I found a well-reviewed joint in a mall, of all places, called Marmara Mediterranean.

Me: Whoa, this is why I like eating outta the city. We have square footage.
Her: Yeah, people aren’t on top of us here.
Me: It’s glorious.

The place and the food couldn’t be better…

Me: Wow, that bread looks amazing.
Her: It’s like a bread football!

…and the people couldn’t be nicer.

Sara: (to Shooting Doc) Have you ever had dinner with a patient before?
Him: Nope!
Me: (shrugging) I’m super interesting.

OK, maybe not me, but everyone else.

Waiter: Do you want dessert?
Me: We’re all stuffed because the food was so good – we couldn’t possibly.
Owner: (five minutes later) You can’t leave without having dessert. Here, these are on the house.

And with that, he comped us two of the best puddings I’ve ever had.

Cannot recommend the place highly enough.

Me: OMG, I really gotta hit up the gym after this.
Her: I’m so full.

The ride back to the Hoboken train station took 90 minutes because of rando traffic.

We made our way into the city when I noticed a Luckin Coffee and Sara never had it and wanted to try.

It was late by the time we got home.

Me: That was a super fun day.
Her: Agreed.
Me: You thinking about doing a shooting competition like the Shooting Doctor suggested?
Her: Maybe? But we’d have to get out there.
Me: Maybe someday.
Her: (nodding) Maybe.

Location: the studio, shooting – not this one, the other one – more Scenic Fights videos
Mood: weary
Music: Being poor is a disease, gotta hustle up a cure (Spotify)
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Three meals in a night

Hanging out downtown

My kid and Sara’s kid are coming back from their respective summer months away.

Her: This is our last weekend to be DINKs.
Me: Then let’s go out.
Her: I’ve got just the place.

We started the night pretty early at this gorgeous rooftop restaurant called One40 Rooftop that Sara picked out.

We were surprised that it overlooked Ground Zero.

Her: I wasn’t expecting that. It’s beautiful. So crazy that so much happened right there.
Me: I’d gone there so many times in my life. I remember so much about that day.

Her: I read that they’re about to break ground on Two World Trade Center. I have no idea where they’re going to put it.
Me: I didn’t even know that. (thinking) We should probably change the subject.

There’s something that will – for me and many lifelong New Yorkers – always be quiet and sacred about that place.

So, I’ll stop talking about it now and leave you with our view.

We were the only ones there, which is part of why I like to eat so early.

Her: You’re so old. Eating so early.
Me: I have my intermittent fasting deadline!

The food was delicious…

…and while it was enough for her, it was not for me.

Her: Do you wanna get something else?
Me: Yes. But not here. Let’s just see what’s around.
Her: (checking her phone) Oh, The Malt House looks nice.
Me: Done – let’s go.

But, as we were paying the check, the waiter leaned over our table.

Him: You know, before you leave, you should really go over to the other side. The views there are even better than the view here.
Me: Oh man, thanks! We’ll do that.

So, we did.

He was right, the view did not disappoint.

Afterward, we made our way to the other bar and ordered some more drinks.

Me: I’m still hungry.
Her: Big surprise.
Me: Oh, they have sweet potato fries. That’s paleo.
Her: Well, it’s not the worst thing.

We had a few more drinks and continued to chat.

Her: I like it down here.
Me: Me too – it’s a lot different here than when I was a kid. But the major issue is that it’s at sea level or below.
Her: This is true.
Me: It’s ok. We can visit.

Afterwards, it was still pretty bright outside – see, the benefits of eating early – so we went for a stroll.

Sara made a new friend.

But he was too busy staring at his paperwork to notice her.

His loss, really.

As we started to go home…

Me: I’m still hungry.
Her: I would say I’m surprised, but I’m not.
Me: Look! Dollar pizza.
Her: It’s $2.
Me: I’m still getting one. Maybe two.

It was a nice way to wind down our time without the kids for a spell.

We still had one more thing to do, though.

But I’ll tell you all about it in the next entry.

Location: my humid room, interviewing someone
Mood: hungry
Music: down this empty street, let’s walk in the cool evening night (Spotify)
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Writing (and other stuff) until I can’t

Writing this for me

Him: Why do you bother still writing? How many readers do you even have?
Me: I dunno. But, I suppose that doesn’t matter.
Him: Why not?
Me: (shrugging) Because I’m not writing for them. I’m writing for me.

We’ve been doing a lotta things with Scenic Fights lately, which means that I’ve been shooting more and more.

This isn’t a bad thing, per se, it’s just tiring.

Never realized how mentally taxing acting is until I had to do it – hitting cues, remembering lines, the acting itself, etc.

No, it’s not rocket science, but it’s definitely not a simple matter either.

Still, I know that I’m super lucky that I get to create content that people actually wanna consume.

I think I’ll keep doing it until they don’t wanna shoot me anymore.

Here’s a longform video we just shot a few weeks ago that the producers cranked out in record time.

Right after that shoot, I actually went with Sara to the Frenchman’s pad, along with my kali instructor and some of the other students for a random get-together – ostensibly to watch the World Cup, but really just to hang out and have an excuse to eat.

We actually spent the day with the fella sitting behind Sara – we’ll call him the Shooting Doctor for reasons that will become apparent in another entry.

Her: Do you want some ice cream?
Me: No. But I do wanna have more alcohol and chips.
Her: Go for it.
Me: Sweeeeeeeeeeet.

Speaking about cranking out content and doing things, I started this blog decades ago because so many of my other friends were doing it.

But they all stopped years ago and I’m the last one left of the people I started with.

I think that, ever since Alison got sick and I lost her, I’ve valued how much this blog has been a living record of my adult life.

I get to visit all my possible pasts – at least from September 2006 to now – anytime I want.

The funny thing is that I started this when I was 33 years old after a rando breakup.

Man, so much has happened since then.

But so much happened before that as well. I honestly wish I wrote back then because I would definitely like to revisit the Logan Lo of 70s-90.

Just like I visit Logan from the 00s, 10s, and early 20s.

Maybe, someday, I’ll tell you about my life in 90s and early 2000s when I worked in the clubs and was a struggling lawyer/tech guy.

Someday.

Him: How long you gonna keep writing?
Me: Until I can’t, I suppose.

Location: a pistol range and then killer Turkish food
Mood: ear-achy
Music: the fear gives me life and I swеar ’til I die I’m gonna do it my way (Spotify)
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Day Tripping

DINKs

Oh, because of the stupid rat drama, I forgot to tell you that the kid did another recital right before his school ended.

He decided to play a cover of the Beatles Day Tripper – he’s singing but you can’t really hear it.

He was upset because he messed up a tiny bit in the middle, but I still thought he did great.

Now, just like we’ve done for the past few summers, while both kids are away, Sara and I got to live a DINK (dual income, no kids) lifestyle for a couplea weeks.

Her: What are you in the mood for?
Me: (thinking) Sushi? We haven’t done that in a while.
Her: Yes! Let’s do that. I know just the place.

So, off we went to a place just to the east of us called Momoya. I’d never been but have walked by a million times.

I got my usual, which is a dragon roll, and something to drink.

But it definitely wasn’t enough for me.

Me: I’m still hungry.
Her: I’m not surprised.
Me: Tikki Chick is close to us, how’s about we get some sandwiches and another drink?
Her: Sure!

So, off we went.

Ended up getting two chix sammies and cider – I didn’t expect it to be red.

Her: Do you want my umbrella?
Me: …Yes. Thank you.

Afterwards, we took a walk home.

Me: I’m still hungry.
Her: How is that even possible?
Me: Oh, it’s possible. (stopping) Whoa, these guys have a $9 chopped cheese!
Her: Are you sure you wanna do that?
Me: I dunno.

In the end, I didn’t, but it was nice having the flexibility to do that.

Plus, it’s nice being just the two of us for a bit.

But I miss the kid.

Me: Heya, are you free to video chat?
Him: I’m actually going out with my cousins soon, can we chat tonight?
Me: Oh, ok. Sure.
Him: Great, bye!

I’m not gonna enjoy when he leaves for college.

Location: 207 West 75th Street, NY, NY 10023
Mood: forever hungry
Music: got some time on my hands if we both ride together (Spotify)
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We’re all children until 33

It is I

Me: I don’t think you’d recognize me back then with my glasses and double chin.
Her: I’ve seen pictures! I mean, sometimes I look and think, “Is that Logan?” But it’s gotta be, he’s the fat one!
Me: …
Her: What? You were a fat kid! You say it all the time!

When did you truly first feel like an adult?

As a kid, I woulda thought that I’d feel like an adult at 21. What a laugh.

Being at my mom’s place last week was interesting for a host of reasons, not least of which was that she immediately fell back into being my mom circa the late 1980s/early 1990s, and I resisted – as much as I could – doing the same.

That got me to thinking about an article I read recently where scientists had identified five distinct ages of the human brain over a lifetime

Now, I always felt like I was pretending to be an adult alla way up until I was 33 or so. That’s when the Reporter and I broke up and I decided I wanted to see what it was like to just date a lotta different women.

And I brought you along. See, I turned 33 in 2006, 20 years ago. Right when I started this blog.

Well, it turns out that it wasn’t all in my head.

The latest research shows that we all have four major mental changes in our lives that occur at: nine, 32, 66 and 83.

I have definitely seen my own kid change radically these past two years.

And I know that 2005-2007 were the most impactful years of my life up until that point in terms of personal growth – when I was 32 to 34. I met Alison when I 35 and I often told her that she wouldn’t have liked me if she had met me just a few years earlier.

Because I wasn’t the me that she met.

In some ways, after she died, I feel I reverted back to my old self for a (long) while. I remember thinking familiar thoughts from long ago for a while that I don’t anymore.

I have to thank Sara for pulling me back, honestly.

Years ago, I told you the story about St. Augustine.

The story is that St. Augustine was once this womanizer who once famously prayed, da mihi castitatem et continentiam…sed noli (“Grant me chastity and continence…but not yet”). It should be noted that he’s also the patron saint of brewers, as an aside.

Anywho, he was a frequent visitor of prostitutes before he changed his life around. Afterward, he went back to visit an old place and ran into a prostitute he used to know in that biblical way. He continued on his way so she tried to get his attention for his usual and called out to him, Augustine, it is I.

To which, he replied without stopping, Yes, but it is not I.

It’s the opposite for me.

I feel like I’m more like the me that I was before everything went down with Alison and my dad than I have in…well, I guess two years before all the madness started.

The last day I can remember – which isn’t necessary the last day it actually happened – when I felt the way I do now was when I was in Hell’s Hundred Acres so many years ago.

It’s almost as if I was lost in woods in winter all this time and found… well, not my way out, exactly.

Rather, it’s like I found a welcoming cabin – still in the winter, still in the woods, but it warm, cozy, and familiar. I could rest before the next part of my journey.

I’m grateful for the rest.

And I wonder what will happen with my head when I turn 66 for my next journey.

I hope I will still write about my terribly pedestrian life.

And I hope you’ll still read about my terribly pedestrian life.

Location: the studio for Scenic Fights
Mood: ex. haus. ted.
Music: the man I was before (Spotify)
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Travelogue: Asheville, North Carolina Pt 1

Plus a trip to the Biltmore Estate

Her: So, I was thinking. If someone wanted to rob a bank, why not give ice cream to everyone as a distraction beforehand?
Me: Maybe you should just stick to being a teacher.
Her: You don’t think it would work?

Sara had a cousin getting married in Asheville, so the plan was to head down, spend a few days in Asheville, and then head back home on Saturday night.

Unfortunately, something came up where I had to be back by Thursday afternoon, so I had to cut my trip short.

Sara was super bummed but understood.

But, lemme back up a bit to the beginning.

This time, we decided to fly so we headed out to the airport and it ended up being a super-fast 90-minute trip or so.

FAR better than the 12+ hours it took us the last time we headed down.

But not without some hiccups.

Him: Unfortunately, we don’t have a car for you.
Me: I think Avis and I differ greatly on what the word “reservation” means.
Him: (clicking on computer) Sorry but…wait, you booked a car…four months ago?
Me: Yes, although that seems have been a waste of everyone’s time.

We ended up having to wait 40 minutes for a car to show up, which was super annoying, but we were just happy to get onto the road.

Since we were all starving, we hit up a cute little southern restaurant along the way.

It was good but not great.

Her: That was disappointing – I’ve never had that much black pepper in fried chicken or mashed potatoes before.
Me: Yeah, but it’s just as well, otherwise, we’d have eaten the whole thing.

Sara needed to get shoes for the wedding and there was a Belk along the way, so she went there while her kid and I camped out at the Barnes and Noble.

It was ginormous.

Me: Whoa! I’ve not seen records for sale in decades.
Her: Really? It’s making a comeback.
Me: I truly do not understand the world.

We got to our hotel – finally – and immediately crashed.

The next day, we did what Sara was looking forward to for months – a tour of the Biltmore estate.

Her: It’s the largest private home in the world!
Me: …yay?

She enjoyed herself but the weather really drained me.

In the main picture of this post, you can tell on my face that I just wanna nap; Sara is the Energizer Bunny.

There were some cool things to see, like an indoor pool…

…bowling alley…

…plus, a cool little operator-run elevator that actually still worked…

…but I’m not sure I would have done the 2.5+ hour tour myself.

We ended up meeting up with her sister and her family for some beers near our hotel.

Me: They have a chopped cheese!
Her Son: YES!
Me: (after getting it) You know, they did a pretty good job here. And it wasn’t 20 bucks and tiny like at the ballpark.

Sara and I ended the night with drinks that she got comped because of her Hilton status.

The next day, everyone slept in and I didn’t do much at all during the day, (a) because it was hot as blazes but also (b) we were all exhausted from all the travel and activities.

I did have my first Firehouse sub, though – she got The Engineer.

Later that night, Sara had her rehearsal dinner at Highland Brewing – which is actually Asian owned!

I’m not really a beer drinker but they had kombucha and their air conditioning was on point.

After she finished up, we went to the bride and groom’s AirBnB for an informal pizza party on the top of a mountain.

Woman: Hi, my friend says that he recognizes you from YouTube.
Me: That’s cool! Why didn’t he say something himself?
Her: Oh, he didn’t want to bother you.
Me: I’m a D-level celeb, it’s never a bother.

All-in-all, it was a pretty fun night, and everyone was super chill.

I musta eaten my body weight in pizza.

But this entry’s getting super long so I’ll wrap up the trip tomorrow.

Location: back at home, melting
Mood: so. hot.
Music: I’m just trying to find my way home (Spotify)
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