A gun…made of cheese
I think that one of the reasons why it made sense for the Firecracker and me to get married was that we saw the world in the same way. When you find members of your tribe, it’s always nice to keep them close.
Mostly.
Her: If you had a minor superpower, what would that be?
Me: (thinking) If I could detect cancer, would that be major or minor?
Her: Obviously that’s a major superpower.
Me: Gotcha, ok then, that’s easy: I’d want to be able to make anyone cluck like a chicken at will to the volume and extent that I want.
Her: WHAT?! That’s ridiculous.
Me: Is it? Think about it. There are so many situations where it would be amazeballs.
Her: Name one.
Me: Where to begin?
Me: Imagine someone cuts you off, instead of road rage, he’s now clucking like a chicken in his car at the top of his lungs. Maybe he’s on a date, maybe he’s with his parents, maybe he’s with his boss. Guess what? He’s clucking like a chicken for the next hour or so.
Her: (laughs hysterically)
Me: Or imagine I get mugged. Instead of defending myself, dude is now SCREAMING like a chicken. He cannot stop and he doesn’t know why. Is he still really gonna be mugging me?
Her: (still laughing) Stop, stop, I can’t…
Me: Or if someone insults you. Guess what he’s gonna do for a month at the top of his lungs when he gets home? The list goes on.
Her: Ok, that’s a pretty good minor superpower, when you put it like that.
Me: OK, what about you?
Her: (takes a deep breath) Ok, ok…ok. Lemme think. Well, I suppose I’d want to be able to make anything cheese.
Me: Wait, what? Why cheese?
Her: (shrugs) I like cheese. Like, if I’m at the bank and I get hungry and I’m holding a pen. Instant cheese.
Me: What if you get mugged?
Her: With what? A knife? That’s cheese now. A gun? A gun…made of cheese. You know the best part?
Me: What?
Her: Never need to buy cheese again for the rest of our lives.
Me: (nodding, impressed) OK! I like it. Between my clucking power and your cheese power, we could take over the world. We’d be invincible!
Her: And moderately fat.
Location: Not NYC…
Mood: 45.5 hours sleep-deprived
Music: heroes, forever and ever (Spotify)
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