Essentially, the entirety of this song lays out what last month has been like.
Can usually make it to the part that goes: “She tried her best and now she can’t win” before I have to stop playing it.
Everything we do now, we do with the goals of (a) providing Alison some comfort and (b) fulfilling what she would want most if she couldn’t make it.
For the latter, it’s to make sure that Nate is going to be ok.
As I mentioned to you in the last entry, between the theft, the fertility treatments, and the past 18 months of expenses, the donations you’ve provided for her will also help me raise him the way she would have wanted.
That’s all we can do now.
She’s been sleeping almost all day these days. So we – her mother and I – sit and wait with her.
Met him on Sunday, loved him by Tuesday afternoon.
Woke up on Friday, changed my whole life to make some room
Which is much like how my relationship with Alison started off – at least the second time when we had more than a few words with each other.
I told every single woman I met during my dating years that, “I’m looking for my person. I suppose you are too. Let’s figure out if I’m yours and your mine.”
With Alison, though, I figured out that she was my person almost immediately – in fact, I broke things off with a few people because just meeting her made things a bit clearer for me.
I’ll say “When I think of you, you’re like my favorite song Or that melody, that melody I love” And it goes, La da da da da da da da
If every thing I love in my life is a series of songs – moments, family, friends – then my time with her is my favorite melody.
And if the rumors are true, I can look forward to Some better days and getaways, so nice ‘Cause when I am with you, you’re the crescendo to that melody That melody I love, yeah, da da da da
For us, the rumors weren’t true. We only had a few better days and getaways, but at least we had them with each other. I am forever grateful that I met her in this world.
And she and the kid have been the crescendo to that melody, that melody I love.
Me: It’s like that song from Esthero: I met you on Sunday, loved you by Tuesday afternoon, and changed my life on Friday to make some room. Her: (amused) How many times have you used that line? Me: Just this once. It’s a one-shot line – and if it works, we’ll get married and have our better days and getaways. Her: (laughing) OK. Me: So, you love me too? Her: (nodding) Like a fat kid loves cake, Logan.
The weather’s been nice so I took a stroll around the hood.
New York generally goes from winter straight into summer but this year there was a slight spring, although it going to hit the 90s by tomorrow and stay there for a bit.
Years ago, said that something about spring makes you want to reassess and realign your life – spring cleaning and all that. To this end, the wife and went through the house and tossed anything we could and gathered up everything else for Goodwill.
Just came back right now from donating a box of stuff.
Also made my very last batch of chili this past week and froze them for summer.
On a related note, my dating entries, particularly these entries about how to write a good dating profile for men and women are my top read posts around this time.
Again, I’ve got to think it’s related to that whole reassessing and realigning that this season comes with.
Ah, spring – I’m sure gonna miss you when you’re gone.
I gotta make payroll & rent Monday so I’ll post on Tuesday. Clearly, the most logical thing would be to rob a bank.
So I’ll be busy…plotting…
If your life was a TV show, what would it be it’s theme song? I got a few. But if I had to chose just one, it would be Overkill.
Like I said, the insomnia’s back; I don’t actually mind being alone between the sheets. I do mind the lying there awake though.
So I get up and go for a walk. I’ve lived here my whole life and the last several women I’ve seen have been from around the way. I’ve run into a few of them over the past several months. I got memories on every corner.
I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications
Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps it’s just my imagination
Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
Its time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation
At least there’s pretty lights
And though there’s little variation
It nullifies the night
I lent a friend some money because she was going through a divorce and was in a bind. It’s not like I had that much spare scratch but I figured that she was good for it so I borrowed some dough against the cards and gave it to her.
I stopped by her place cause I haven’t heard from her and was worried. Apartment was empty. She up and left. I’ve known her seven years. She didn’t even say sorry.
On the same day, I took the last straw from another friend too. I’ve known him since the 90s. The very last straw.
What a day. It was…indescribable.
Then I got a call from the guy that gave me the gig in Mancini Duffy a decade ago.
Him: Dude, how’ve you been? Me: (stunned) What made you call? I haven’t heard from you in years. Him: I dunno. (laugh) I got the urge to call.
Then Bryson called me.
Him: Hey brother, thought I’d see how you were. Me: I can’t even tell you. Him: (pause) Tell me.
When you keep cutting your friends, you end up with the ones that matter. I guess that’s something, yeah?
I’ll be posting a lot of pictures – still a work in progress. I wanted to write more, but I drank my night away.