You get points in life for being brave

Late Monday night, got the most creepy phone call ever from HeartGirl – or, rather, from her and her hella creepy friend. Wanted to take a shower afterwards.

Speaking of which, I met seven women this long weekend. I’ve been told that the reason I meet so many people is that I’ve got a really low “creepiness factor.” All men people have it; some more than others.

Consider this: HEI had some guy she vaguely knows recently wait on her doorstep unannounced with flowers and wine. He mighta been there for hours. In Hollywood, that’s romantic. In the real world, that’s creepy. Let’s review, shall we?

Standing outside your ex’s home holding a boombox belting out Peter Gabriel.

Hollywood: Romantic
Real life: Creepy (and stalkerish)

Meeting a girl for 10 minutes and telling her that you’re her soulmate.

Hollywood: Romantic
Real life: Creepy (and pathetic)

Telling someone that they “complete you.”This one I particularly loathe – cause who wants someone that isn’t whole on their own?

Hollywood: Romantic
Real life: Creepy (and lame)

Following a girlie around a bar all night because you spoke to her for five minutes.

Hollywood: Creepy – Look, even Hollywood thinks this is creepy. Don’t do it.
Real life: Creepy (and something I see every week)


Seriously, there is no line you can say to a girlie, no shirt you can wear, no drink you can buy that will change your ability to talk to a girl than lowering your creepy factor. How to do this is a whole ‘nother story.

BTW, HeartGirl called me twice to apologize for her friend; I called her back and we spoke.

I think I forgive her. Dunno yet. But I thought it was brave of her to call me back twice to say she was sorry. You get points for being brave in this life.

And because…I know what it’s like to wanna be forgiven for the stupid mistakes we make. For the awful, awful things we say and do to one another.

Man, I know that oh so well.

Location: my office
Mood: exhausted
Music: so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away

8 replies on “Creepy”

Then again, here's a slightly different angle (for your first example). This is jacked from a friend, so I can't take credit for his brilliance. But I like. The only difference between stalker and flattery, is the fugly / attraction factor. i.e. persistence only pays off if you are attractive to the object of your affection. Otherwise, you're a stalker. It's such a fine line.

So I just happen to have been in your neighborhood tonight and actually drove by your place. Was gonna do a drive by greeting but I figured you'd think that was creepy and decided against it.

YM – I'm not sure about that. I've dated my share of beautiful women and there are some things that transcend even that. Beautiful is not that hard to come by here; nice and normal seems to be more difficult.Ro – you made the right choice, my friend.

Good point… then again, you don't think it still goes for the attraction factor? Scratch fugly. You don't need to be beautiful to be attractive (emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, the je ne sais quoi 'connection' factor…) to the object of your affection – heck you could be 'ugly' to the rest of the world so long as you're attractive to the object of your affection. Who knows. Maybe guys and girls are diff, or I'm just weird.

[…] Him: Are you mad? Me: I’m not mad, I’m worried, there’s a difference. Him: (apprehensive) Is this going to hurt? Me: It’s gonna feel uncomfortable but, no, it won’t hurt. Him: (begins to cry) Me: No. Stop crying. I need you to be brave. Him: But, I’m scared. Me: Being scared and being brave aren’t mutually exclusive, kid. You have to be scared to be brave, otherwise, you’re just nuts. You’re not nuts are you? (he shakes head) Good. Be brave. You get points in life for being brave. […]

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