Christmas Loot

Me: I like how we are. Let’s see which one of us screws it up first. (thinking) I hope it’s you.
Heartgirl: (laughing) Really? Why?

Holidays are hard for the newly lonely. This is the first Xmas my mother’s ever had where she didn’t speak to her ma.

Mom: I keep thinking that she’s at home, waiting for me to call her. And I call her. (sighs) But she’ll never pick up…(trails off)

On a happier topic, got some nice loot this Xmas. My family got me a DROBO – my sister also got me utensils. HEI sent me an Xmas card and I got a Gluehwein mug from the Frieseur Frau all the way from Germany (I’ll take a pic of it soon). And Heartgirl’s mom made me somea my favourite foods, plus got me some clothes. Think I grinned from ear-to-ear.

As for Heartgirl, she got me stuff too. And she wrote me a letter.

Loved all of the gifts but, if I had to pick one, had to say that her letter was my favourite one.

For a lotta reasons but mainly cause she thinks I’m a good guy – that I got integrity.

Someone once told me that you got integrity when you’re the same person by yourself as you are in public. Since I’m 24/7 nerd, that sounds about right.

I don’t ever wanna make her regret sending me that letter, y’know?

Me: Yeah. Cause if you screw it up, I’d think, Whaddyagonnado? And go back to my life. Cause whaddyagonnado? (pause) But if I screw this up, I’d hate myself. For a very long time.

Location: 14:00 yest, walking outta a bad brunch in the UWS
Mood: conflicted
Music: been traveling all around the world Waiting for you to come (Spotify)