Swept Away

Location: my living room
Mood: cautious
Music: I know exactly how he feels

Nantes, France, at dusk.

: You’ll meet her Friday – don’t tell me what you think of her.
Him: Don’t tell you?
Me: No. Cause I think she’s amazing and don’t wanna hear it any other way.

Friday was Paul’s B-day so we headed down to our usual joint. Some shots, some rum, some conversation. The usual NYC twirl. Bumped into a curly-haired blond downtown and she said “Excuse you,” with a big toothy smile. I smiled back politely but slipped out the door with Heartgirl by 1AM.

Her: Your friends are nice. I can see why you’re friends with them. That’s not always the case.
Me: I’m 35. (pause) Got ridda mosta the jerks by now.

Spent mosta Saturday and all of Sunday by myself. Me time is always a good time. Chatted with PCD online for a bit.

PCD: You’re like an imaginary person now.
Me: I find that both funny and sad. Why is that?
Her: Because we aren’t real life friends
Me: Because we never see each other? (thinking) I try to see things from Heartgirl’s point of view, if there was a guy she liked a lot and saw him regularly, I’d be a little peeved. (pause) She knows I’d never cheat on her. But I also told her that you were kind and good and that kind and good people we should keep around. I do consider us real friends.
Her: I know. Just have a fun vacation, ok?


Her: I kind of feel that I…I just got swept up in my own life. How weird is that? To get swept away by your own life?

At the party, met a friend that was easing into single life as I was easing out. One minute, I’m 27 and walking outta the Harbor Hotel in Beijing to a waiting car wearing Valentino and a Speedmaster. The next minute, I’m 33 and out both a girlfriend and all of my scratch. Then the next hot minute, I’m here. Telling my secrets to reeds and strangers. And thinking of a girlie I didn’t know existed before 4/7/2008.

The problem with being half-asleep all of time is that reality and dreams blur. There’ve been plenty of times I thought something was something, but just turned out to be a lotta nuthin. Kinda wonder if this’ll all just turn out to be nuthin at all. Man…that would suck.

Me: Yeah, I know what you mean.


Supposed to be the coldest weather here in NYC in 15 years. But I’m leaving this week for sunnier climates and’ll, thankfully, miss it.

I’ll write when I can.

YASYCTAI: Get ridda mosta your jerks. Screw em. (time/3 pts)

3 replies on “Swept Away”

hey! it's been a while since you posted — hope you're doing ok. And if you're out there living life, then have fun, enjoy it, and see you when you get back 😉

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