My first show in 13 years
The last show I saw was on a ship when I went to Bermuda. Before that, it was other shows on ships but that’s not quite the same thing as someone picking up tickets to catch a show with you.
Mouse said she bought us tickets to Ali Wong last year but then the pandemic hit and we never got a chance to go.
So the last time I was actually asked to see a show with someone that wanted to go to a show with me was the Coldplay concert I went to with Alison.
That was 13 years ago.
Anywho, although I never got to go Ali Wong the first time around, she ended up doing her show just a few blocks south of my pad (that’s a relevant fact in a moment) and Pac’s girl bought him tickets.
So I posted on FB:
Completely unrelated to that post, a friend of mine hit me up to ask me if I wanted to see the show with her.
There were some technical issues…
Her: Can you go into Ticketmaster and log into my account and print out the tickets? Having all sorts of printer issues.
Me: Sure thing. Just send me the info.
Her: I have new printer but crappy tech skills.
Me: (a minute later) I judge you.
The next thing you know, we were grabbing dinner around the way…
Her: Am I supposed to eat this salad with chopsticks?
Me: Yes, we’re in a Japanese restaurant.
Her: Watch out then. Cause my chopstick skills are a .5 out of 10. There’s gonna be tomatoes flying everywhere.
Me: I’ll get you a fork.
Her: Hey! On a white person scale, that’s a 3 out of 10!
Me: (to waitress) She’s gonna need a fork.
…before heading off to see the show.
Now, while it wasn’t super hot, it was humid as blazes.
So, stumbling outta the restaurant after a few drinks, we first waited for the subway to bring us to the theatre.
Her: Well, it’s only a minute between the two trains.
Me: I can do math, lady!
When we arrived, the person managing the line said, “To speed things up, please have out your tickets, ID, and vaccination card.”
Me: Shoot! I don’t have that with me. Do you?
Her: I have it on my phone.
Me: Dammit! I gotta run home and find it.
And I literally ran.
Like I said, the theatre’s in my hood.
So, in the hot mugginess of the night, I dashed home and tore my entire apartment to shreds looking for that damnable card.
And I found it.
Running back, the line was gone. Most people were seated. Well, maybe not most…
Luckily, I made it in just in time to catch the opening act, who was hilarious. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch his name.
Him: My parents came here to a foreign country, not speaking the language, not knowing anyone, just so their son could have a better life. And then I became a stand up comedian.
Then Ali came on and she killed. It was a bit more risque than I personally like but I still found myself laughing wildly.
Interestingly, she didn’t make a single joke about COVID, which I kinda appreciated.
She did make a lotta jokes about wanting to cheat on her husband, which made me uncomfortable, especially since I just told you about that conversation with an ex I had.
But, in the end, she said she never would because, “A good husband is harder to find than a great wife.”
That, and another line I’ll keep to myself, really made me think.
Afterward, we hit up a local bar and called it a night.
Making it home, I almost drunk dialed someone but decided to try and leave my possible pasts in the past.
Although I got my own drunken text at 3AM, which was pretty random.
All-in-all it was nice to finally catch a show again.
And now I’ve got a gym to finish up.
I just spoke to my son.
Him: I just saw the craziest thing on television. It was so intense!
That made me LOL.
Location: in front of my computer, running credit cards for the biz
Music: I wanna get to, get to, get to, get to know you like that (Spotify)
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