I hate May a little less now
Me: The hardest thing about being an adult is relationships, because we all have our quirks.
Her: (laughing) *snort*… yeah, especially with you.
Me: Wait, what?
The weather was really nice the other day so the Firecracker met me outside the gym for a walk up Broadway.
We spent most of our time checking out stores.
We barely got three blocks from the gym when we stepped into a home goods store.
I’d mentioned that I wanted a new carpet for my room and we spent some time checking them out…
…although, I gotta admit, the ones we were looking at were a little outta my price range.
I mean, even the cooking utensils were outta my price range…
…for real.
It felt really domestic, though, to be checking things like home furnishings out.
It’s almost like we’re playing house or something like that, except we’re both adult parents that have seen way too much of life as it is.
Which is not to say, she wasn’t down to check out some less-than-adult things like the local Harry Potter store.
Her: Do you want a Butterbeer?
Me: I have no idea what that is but I like butter and I like beer.
We ended up at a Chik-Fil-A and having some sandwiches before we went to a few other places and called it a day.
There’s more but that’s really all I wanted to tell you.
It’s May again.
I’ve hated May with a passion ever since Alison died. I still don’t like May but it feels better this year.
It’s not just that so much time has passed since she died, it’s also that I’ve cut out so much negativity and toxicity around me, which – coupled with the Firecracker and my therapist – has been really good for my overall mental health.
And I’ve got a super busy month ahead of me, most of which is my friends, family, and the Firecracker trying to keep me busy and sane.
I’m grateful.
Him: Why don’t you like May, papa?
Me: (sighing) Well, it’s because your mom’s birthday is in May and I wish she was here to celebrate it. And Mother’s Day is in May and I’m reminded again that she’s not here. And she died in May so…
Him: Oh…I’m sorry. I wish she was here.
Me: (nodding) You and me both, kid. You and me both.
Location: earlier tonight, going to yet another open house, but this time, two doors from my family’s home.
Mood: pretty good, all things considered
Music: I stuck by ya, you’re the sunflower (Spotify)
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