Lonely Private Passages

Wanting but not needing

Her: Don’t miss me too much.
Me: I can’t promise that.
Her: Good answer.

I’ve always daydreamed about living someplace completely different, like Oregon or Washington state. But the weather in NYC’s been more like Seattle these days in that it’s been raining pretty consistently; I think there was rain on every weekend we had for three months or so.

But the weather was pretty nice the other day so the Firecracker, the kid, and I took a bike and scooter ride down the West Side Greenway to the Clinton Cove Lawn just to enjoy the weather.

The kid wanted to run around on the grass and decided to just walk up to a family playing soccer and ask if he could joint them. They laughed and said, “Sure!”

Her: I’m impressed how he can just make friends. I was never able to do that.
Me: Hopefully, it’s something he’ll always be able to do.

Afterward we ended walking past the Private Passage sculpture – neither the kid nor the Firecracker had seen it before.

Her: It’s a little home!
Me: It’s supposed to be a ship cabin. (to kid) Can you imagine using the bathroom in a little home like this?
Him: Nooooo!

Read recently that loneliness is one of the most damaging things to happen to someone because humans are such social creatures.

Think I became acclimated to my loneliness as a child and find I enjoy being by myself most days. After all, solitary trees – if they grow at all – grow strong.

But I like having just a few people, like the kid and the Firecracker, to spend time with.

If I want to be with people, though, I have that option. And I hope the kid has it as well.

The hope is that he will want to be social at times, but not need it.

On that note, the Firecracker did manage to have some time to ourselves while the kids were both away for a bit.

Me: What about happy hour near us?
Her: Sure!

Crazy, but one of my videos – the one below – just hit 20 million views.

Friend: That’s more than two New York Cities!


Location: a super long bus ride from Manhattan to my family’s home
Mood: tired
Music: never wanted to be famous, I only do it for me (Spotify)
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Categorized as personal

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