These memories lose their meaning
Son: I like that song.
Me: (nodding slowly) I love that song. I always think of your mom when I hear it.
Him: (laughing) Papa…you sound funny.
I went to see the boy for Thanksgiving. I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.
While I was there, we went for a drive and we were playing the Beatles when In my Life came on. That picture above is him singing some Beatles songs in Alison’s childhood driveway.
Exactly a decade earlier, I wrote a blog entry about that song and I mentioned that Alison/Heartgirl and I went to my parents for Thanksgiving. She always went home for the holiday but she came with me to mine. Because she loved me so.
My father was there. I remember he was happy to have Alison and me there. That’s Alison laughing at the face I was making.
We played board games – Taboo – after dinner. Alison loved playing board games. Games of all types, actually.
That’s her with the buzzer ready to buzz in my ear in case I messed up.
That was the first Thanksgiving my entire family was together. It was also the last. The boy’s never been with everyone and never will. Shit, fuck me.
I loved her so. I loved my father so.
Me: (clearing throat, forcing smile) Oh, I just had something in my throat. I love you the most, you know?
Him: I love you too, papa.
Me: Thank you.
Him: (laughing) You sound funny again!
Me: (nodding)
In my life
There are places I’ll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone, and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead, and some are living
In my life, I’ve loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I’ll love you more
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I’ll love you more
In my life I’ll love you more
Location: hell
Mood: not well
Music: In my life I’ll love you more (Spotify)
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