She and I (did what?)

When to use “I” and when to use “Me”

Second Ranty post in over two years.

I is only ever the subject of a sentence. It is NOT correct to use I as the object. Ever.

To figure out when to use I, subtract the additional person and conjunction to see if it sounds ridiculous. eg:

• She and I went to the store.
• She and me went to the store.
  • I went to the store.
  • Me went to the store.

Ergo: She and I went to the store.

• Here are pics of my girl and I drinking rum.
• Here are pics of my girl and me drinking rum.
  • Here are pics of I drinking rum.
  • Here are pics of me drinking rum.

Ergo: Here are pics of my girl and me drinking rum.

While on the topic of crap grammar:

1. ie means, in other words – you can remember this because both begin with i
2. eg means, for example – you can remember this because it begins with e
3. gyro is pronounced jai-ro not yee-ro – you can remember because this you’re not a pompous jerk:

Pompous Jerk: You mean a yee-ro?
Me: No, kid. If we were in Athens, I’d mean yee-ro. But we’re in a tiny hell-hole greasy spoon in Queens (turning back to counterman, “No offense, dude,”). We don’t say, “res-toe-ran” for a “restaurant,” we don’t say shed-du-el for schedule. You don’t say yee-ro-scope, do you? Why, outta 880,000 words, the special exception for a meat sandwich? So please back up off my grill and lemme order my jai-ro, in peace.

Sorry, I’ve been irritable – the weather’s lousy, my girl’s on a different continent, my right arm is killin me, I can’t eat for the next 20 hours, I’ve not slept and my secretary just quit. Again.

I want a whole wheat donut.

What I’m gonna get, however, is a glass of tap water, a vitamin pill and two tabs of naproxen.

Location: 5 mins ago, in the shower
Mood: irritated
Music: I’ll just be waiting here – right here