Happy birthday, mom
Two big things happened recently. The first was awful.
Saw a good buddy of mine the other day and he looked…off.
So, I asked him what was up. His wife answered for him.
His mother died this past Friday.
Instantly, I thought of my dad and my mom, and – of course – Alison.
When I lost my grandmother all those years ago, it was the first close loss I’d ever had.
The losses never stopped once it started.
That’s how it goes for everyone.
But no one’s really prepared for the loss of a parent, to say nothing of the loss of a spouse.
My dad said it himself when his own mom died, long after his own dad died:
I feel unmoored from my past, like a leaf in the wind or a ship on the waves.
Lines I stole from him years ago.
In any case, I took my buddy out for a drink over the weekend and just heard his (and his mom’s) story, which I’ll end here because it’s not mine to tell.
Me: This is why alcohol was invented, man.
The second was the opposite.
My own mom turned a milestone birthday, one that I’m grateful she was able to reach.
My sister came up with the brilliant plan to have many of our relatives from all over – including Taiwan – to video call her at the same time and wish her well.
As an aside, I usually put up pictures that don’t include my kid sister and only include my brother and me because, by the time she was born, I was already a fatty-fat-fat.
Anywho, getting back to my mom and the video call, she’s not one for pomp and circumstance but I could tell she was touched by the gesture.
I know that, at some point, I will have to go through what my buddy is going through and I’m not – at all – prepared for it.
Don’t think we’re ever prepared to say goodbye to the people we’ve loved so long and so completely.
When I think of my mom, the faces you see above is the face I always see in my head when I think of her.
She’ll always be that young and beautiful to me.
I wish everyone we love can always stay.
Doubt that I’m alone in this.
But that’s not the deal, and we have to accept it, however hard it is.
Me: Even I have to go someday.
Him: But…what if you don’t, papa?
Me: That’s the deal, kid. We all have to go at some point so someone else gets a chance.
Him: (hopefully) But maybe it’ll be different for you.
Me: (laughing) Ok, kid. Maybe. We’ll just have to wait and see. Go do your math.
Location: In the rain, picking up my treasure
Mood: nauseated
Music: seen it all the tears have fallen (Spotify)
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