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personal

We are what we constantly do

ONE MILLION!

Me: Heya, can you tell me one more time how many times my videos have been seen? I’m writing something about it for my blog.
Producer: The exact number up to July 8th, 2025, was 236,526,963 on YouTube only. But if I had to guess YouTube is closer to 280m and with TikTok you’re closer to 350m.
Me: Holy shitballs!

Years ago, I told you that the reason the 3 Musketeers candy bar was called that was because each one had three bars, with ear bar a different flavor: chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla.

But, for a variety of reasons, it’s just chocolate now.

And did you know that Daisy – the makers of the Red Ryder BB gun in A Christmas Story, was originally a windmill company?

They used to give away BB guns as promotional items for their windmills, but their promotional items became more popular than their main business, so they ditched windmills completely to focus on BB guns.

I’m trying, I’m trying, just hold on…

Speaking of Daisy, there’s a major BJJ competition team called Daisy Fresh, just because the team originally trained in a beat-up laundromat called, “Daisy Fresh,” and they figured it was easier just to keep the name.

That happens a lot.

Like, two fellas named Henderson and Moore bought a hotel in Massachusetts that already had a large, expensive sign on the building.

It was cheaper to just keep the sign, so they ended up calling their entire hotel chain the name on the sign – Sheraton.

Finally, there’s this popular sandwich shop named Potbelly that was once was Chicago antique store that was struggling.

So, they hit on this idea to sell sammies that they heated up with an old potbelly stove that they had in the shop.

My point’s that the things we think we know actually probably went through a lotta things to become the version of the thing you’re familiar with.

And things that you know of in one form may actually have been something else entirely.

My little side project I first told you about years ago, Scenic Fights, just hit one million subscribers.

There’s a really funny backstory to that whole thing that I’ll tell you about some day.

But I digress.

OK, it’s not a Sheraton but I don’t usually stay at those.

The thing is that there are alla these people that now know me as Logan the Weapons Guy from Scenic Fights, and I’m proud to be known as that.

And, of course, there are all those people that know me as Logan, the intellectual property lawyer.

And I’ve got this whole other career – two, actually – that I’ve only ever mentioned to you in passing but I’m held in pretty high regard there as well.

Because we are what we constantly do.

I do alla those things but the two things I’m proudest of – and I’m proud of everything I just mentioned – are being the kid’s dad and my writing.

There are somea you that have been reading me since the Livejournal days and I feel that, outta everyone that “knows” me, you all know me the best.

Because what you’re reading is the most closely aligned with how I really am (edited), I think.

So, thanks for helping me/us get to 1 million on Scenic Fights.

And thanks, most of all, for continuing to read me.

One of these days, I’ll have something important to say.

Oh, a special nod to my buddy Mark H. Anbinder who’s been reading me for decades – and still constantly comments (!) and I’m super thankful for that. Shockingly, he’s still on Livejournal.

And my friend Debra, whom I’ve not seen in decades, just dropped me a line outta the blue saying (a) she’s still reading me and (b) is writing herself now.

Location: a middle school, trying to figure out what to do
Mood: achy
Music: I’m hopin’ I can find what’s left of me (Spotify)
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Well, that didn’t work

A warming plate

Him: It’s like having a C-Section. Essentially, they cut you open from the front, remove all your insides and put it on a warming plate…
Me: A warming plate?!
Him: (nodding) A warming plate. Then they get to work on your spine. For me, it’s been lifechanging. I don’t even think about my back anymore.

Missed posting on Monday because it’s just been a bummer around here.

So, after a solid year of physical therapy, countless doctor’s visits, tons of medication, and – finally – that spinal epidural last week, I can say that there’s been zero improvement with my back whatsoever.

The thing about the shot is that it was/is the second-to-last option, with the last option being back surgery.

But even that gets complicated; a recent article that just came out late last month noted that about half of back surgeries didn’t do a thing.

And the surgery is no joke.

This past weekend, we went to hang out with the Surgeon and Steel and met a famous weatherman who had the back surgery.

He was one of the few people I know that had a successful one – pretty much everyone else has been struggling with back pain even after surgery.

It was disheartening, to say the least.

This was on top of the shot not doing a damn thing for me.

I’ve got a follow up with the shot doctor in about two weeks where he’ll give me some options but, so far, it’s not been encouraging.

On a positive note, however, my buddy is outta surgery, outta the ICU, and currently in a step-down unit before being discharged home.

Here’s to whatever small wins we can get, when we can get them.

Her: He had jello and a cup of tea before I left tonight.
Me: It’ll be a porterhouse and a glass of red in no time. Thanks for the update!

Location: a middle school, trying to figure out what to do
Mood: achy
Music: remind myself that I’m better than this (Spotify)
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More medical issues

A blessing nonetheless

A while back, my sister celebrated her birthday and gave the most lovely little nod to Alison, which I’ve always deeply appreciated.

She wrote something like, “People often complain about getting old. But after my sister-in-law passed at such a young age, I vowed I would never do that. It’s such a gift to get old and not everyone gets that chance.”

I think about that on the regular.

Getting old is a blessing.

A crappy blessing, but a blessing nonetheless.

Just found out that a dear and close friend of mine is in the hospital.

He’s an older fella but still very spry and active so it came as quite a shock.

Burst aneurysm.

It instantly brought me back to all those fucking nights in those goddamn hospitals – both for Alison and my dad.

But it looks like he’ll be ok, which I’m hoping is the case – we won’t know for sure for a few days.

That’s the thing about getting older: Even if you’re careful and lucky, you still spend far more time dealing with health issues than not.

On that note, I’ve been dealing with my own health issues. My herniated disc isn’t getting better – at all.

Doctor: The main issue is that your spinal canal is getting narrower.
Me: Is it because of my wrestling and fencing?
Him: (thinking) I don’t think so. If anything, your keeping active prevented this from being worse.
Me: What is it exactly?
Him: It’s the scoliosis I mentioned, and you have signs of deterioration and arthritis.
Me: Because I’m so active or…
Him: Oh no, just age. You’re 52 after all.
Me: So, I’ve been told.

To wit, after I went with the kid for over two hours to check out some middle schools today…

This pic is also not from today – they didn’t allow us to take pics.

…and after over a year of physical therapy and other things, I did the one thing left for me to do before surgery, which is a steroid injection into my spine.

Now, last week, I went to an office on the East Side twice to do alla the prep I needed to do and this afternoon, it was shot time.

I don’t have any pics from the procedure today – just forgot to take any.

But picture this: I’m lying face down on like a massage table with a cutout for my face in a FREEZING room with three young ladies.

I’m shirtless and my pants are pulled down most of the way with my rear end sticking up in the air.

Luckily for me, I have very little shame so, while it was odd and a bit disconcerting, it was ok for the most part.

Anywho, my chat with the doctor was pretty good too.

Him: So, when are you back from vacation?
Me: Oh, we’re not going for another month.
Him: Ah, good. So, I can see you in two weeks for a followup?
Me: Yup.
Him: OK. You know, I do all this small talk to distract you while we do the injection. And…done.
Me: Wait, you did it already?
Him: (laughing) Yup. Just keep lying there for a bit but you should be out the door in 10-15 minutes.

Considering how many medical procedures I’ve ever done or been part of, this was probably the best case scenario.

Afterwards, I was too beat to cook so I just took everyone out to eat at our fave neighborhood bistro.

Ende gut alles gut. / Alls well that ends well.

Whew.

What a day.

Location: a middle school, trying to figure out what to do
Mood: achy
Music: baby, don’t you think I’m looking older? (Spotify)
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Doing new things

What happens after

One of the things that I appreciate about having the kid is that he’s always trying something new, which means two things: (a) I get to see him do new things and (b) I often have to bring him places that I’ve not been before.

Case-in-point, the other day, there was a class that I thought he would like so I signed him up for it.

It was actually held near my old gym and a block from my kali class but in a building that I’d never been inside before. Turns out that it was a whole school of performing arts stuff.

Literally, within five minutes of us arriving, the kid was playing tag with a buncha kids he’d never met before (and they all knew each other).

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly he’s able to make friends.

Let’s hope that never stops.

Me: Walking to you now, five mins. Did you like it?
Him: No…
Me: Oh no! OK.
Him: Yea. Can we get Taco Bell, please?

Unfortunately, not alla my ideas are a hit, and this one was one of the duds.

I always give the kid props for trying new things; that’s the deal – he always has to try new things, but I won’t force them on him if he hates them.

And he hated this thing.

So, I bought back some goodwill with some fast-food Tex-Mex.

Speaking of duds, almost exactly nine years ago this week, a guy that I didn’t know at the time – he was a friend of Pac’s but he and I are friends now – drove me out to NJ to pick up a washer dryer for Alison to use as I assumed we’d constantly be cleaning clothing and bedsheets.

Ah, if only.

Well, that machine just gave up the ghost this past week.

My rule of thumb is that, if it costs more than 1/3 of the price to repair and it’s over seven years old, it’s probably worth it to buy a new one.

BUT, what I didn’t know when I got this one was that my basement can only fit a 24-inch machine and this one was 26 inches.

It was only with the help of Pac’s buddy, a couple of huge neighbors, a power drill, and just raw determination and anger that got this damn thing through the door.

So, I opted to call in a repairman who could fix it for roughly half the cost of a new one.

They’re ordering the part, which’ll take a bit to get so we won’t have a machine for a little longer.

Man an in-unit washer dryer in NYC is gold.

Me: Will it come with a warranty?
Him: (thick accent) One month.
Me: What happens after a month?
Him: (shrugging) No more warranty.
Me: (nodding slowly)

Location: home, not quite as sick. Still send soup.
Mood: foggy but not terrible
Music: Still runs good, built to last (Spotify)
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Nightmares and noctambulation

Telling our stories our way

Her: Hey man, so my fiancé’s doing a pop up this coming Thursday at Tiki Chick!
Me: Wha!? Ok! Lemme see if the Firecracker and I can make it

My buddy Katrina hit me up the other day to tell me that her boyfriend fiancé was bartending at my local bar, Tiki Chick.

So, off we went.

This is the Aaaaaaaaah!

He made this drink he called the Aaaaaaaaah! for the Halloween theme of the night and it was honestly delicious – one of the best drinks I’d ever had.

Unfortunately, it was a little sweet, so I only had one.

But we kept getting comped drinks – both by her fiancé and the waiter – that we got pretty snockered.

I also ate a lot, including two chicken sammies and this footlong hotdog with chili and spam.

There’s a lot more that’s been going on but two other things happened, the first of which was that I got my annual flu shot.

Then the Firecracker caught a cold, and I started feeling a bit rough, but I chalked it up to the shot.

Her: Are you blaming me for your cold?
Me: Yes.
Her: That’s fair.

Nope, I got sick as well and had the worst bout of insomnia I’d had for years, coupled with nightmares and noctambulation.

Plus, later on this week, I’m getting a steroid injection into my back, so…unfun.

I’ll tell you more once this brain fog goes away.

Location: bed, sick. Send soup.
Mood: craptastic
Music: We’ll see how far it goes I said (Spotify)
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You really gotta stop posting pics of your kids

Telling our stories our way

One thing that we’ve been talking about over at Scenic Fights is the rise of AI and how you can take anyone’s likeness and make videos outta them, like this CBS reporter did:

It’s pretty impressive – and horrifying at the same time.

You can literally make anyone that you have pictures of, do anything.

Seriously, anything (I’ll let you fill in the blanks here).

On this note, you may have noticed that I don’t put up any pictures of my kid with his face showing.

I used to write his name in this blog, but I don’t even do that anymore – that’s the main reason I call him “the kid,” here.

As for why I did that, I’ve told you about before; which is that it’s not fair for me, as his parent, to take away his right to privacy/anonymity just because I can.

What if he doesn’t want to be known? What if he wants to write and tell his own story his way?

If I have years of posts about him complete with his face and everything, that will be all the more difficult.

But even in the back of my mind, I knew that technology would improve to the point where anyone could take a picture and animate it to make it appear that the picture person was doing something they never would.

In fact, that was the main subject of my lecture in Spain all those years ago.

The thing is, I never imagined that it would happen so quickly.

So, I’m doubly glad that I’ve not put up pictures of his face and will continue to do so – and I ask that you consider doing the same if you have kids.

If this whole #EpsteinFiles horror has taught us anything, it’s that there are some seriously messed up people out there.

Location: a bar, getting snockered
Mood: …snockered
Music: I’m diggin’ in, gettin’ ready for what comes (Spotify)
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A shoot, drinks, a pier, and a church

Plus a pitcher of ice

Me: You know what I love most about living in NYC?
Firecracker: What?
Me: It’s like that line in Fools Rush In that I’m always talking about – if you wait around long enough, pretty much the whole world will pass through.

Had an all-day Scenic Fights shoot the other night for a holiday special that we’re doing.

I’m sure you can guess what holiday from the main pic.

Had to cut out of filming at a certain time both to grab my kid as well as to meet an old friend of mine that was visiting from San Francisco.

I first met him about 2004 or so when he needed a place to stay in NYC.

Doesn’t feel like over two decades ago, and yet it was.

At that time, he was dating someone, and he ended up marrying and having two kids with her – both of whom are now in college.

In any case, his oldest is now in NYC – and I think graduating this year – and he and his wife were in town and asked to meet up.

I suggested a buncha places but, because the weather was perfect, I suggested Pier I, and they agreed and met us there.

It was nice catching up with everyone.

Firecracker: We usually have pretty quiet nights.
Me: That’s because of her addiction.
Firecracker: What addiction?!
Me: Big Two – we literally play a few hands almost every night.
Friend’s Wife: OMG, we LOVE Big Two! If we had cards, we could play right now.
Firecracker: I totally would! He’s right, I am addicted.
Me: Plus, I tried to convince her to hustle a buncha old Chinese in Boston.

One little thing that was annoying is that we ordered a pitcher of a mixed drink that – after taxes and tip – cost about $100.

But we were only able to get three drinks outta it.

So, I spoke to the manager who was super nice.

Me: Sorry, I don’t mean to be all Karen about this but…that works out to be about $33.50 per drink. It was like, all ice!
Her: Oh, I would be upset too. Can I mix you three more drinks?
Me: Oh, that’s a lot. I think two would be fair.
Her: (smiling) I’ll mix three, no problem.

So, that was pretty cool.

Afterward, we took mini walk around the hood.

Him: Hey, that’s my old apartment!
Me: Yup. Not much has changed with it in over two decades.

We walked by a church which, I’ll have to tell you about one day because – completely by coincidence – it was a major part of the lecture I gave in France all those years ago because it was involved in a seminal US Supreme Court case.

Anywho, the guy that manages the church is a friend of mine and, without our even asking, he unlocked it and let us marvel at the main rectory.

Afterward, they left and we went back home.

Like I said, if you wait long enough, pretty much the whole world filters through NYC, it seems.

Her: They were nice. And it was so cool that your friend gave us a private tour of the church.
Me: Yeah. I’ve met alotta really cool and nice people all these years. Hopefully, the kid can do the same.

Location: my pad on a zoom with my doc telling me I’ll probably need surgery at some point
Mood: discouraged
Music: knew I could regain my sight, and it feels alright (Spotify)
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Eskimos (DON’T) have hundreds of words for water

I call BS

My kid’s friend: It wasn’t just any fruit. They ate an apple.
Me: (shaking head) That’s not true, man. The bible doesn’t say what fruit it was.
Him: It is true! It’s in the bible!

When I was around 12, I repeated something about someone that turned out to be completely false.

That woulda been fine except that it ended up hurting a girl that I had a crush on.

Despite my honestly thinking it was true, she never spoke to me again.

Don’t remember the girl’s name at all but I remember the situation and learned a valuable lesson that day:

Don’t repeat something unless really know what you’re talking about.

For example, have you ever heard someone say something like, “Eskimos have XX words for snow?”

That’s complete BS.

See every culture has hundreds of words for water.

Obviously, we have the general word water, just like German does (“wasser”).

But all of the following are also types of water:

    • lake, which is a body of water surrounded by land (“der See” in German)
    • pool, which is a small body of water surrounded by land (“die Lache” for a pool of liquid, which I think is what they would use)
    • river, which is a moving stream of water of a fairly large size (“der Fluess”)
    • stream, which is a smaller a current of water similar to a river (“der Bach”)

Of course, we could go on here, with brook, tributary, flow, etc.

We also geysers, waterfalls, etc.

In the air, we’ve got clouds, precipitation, snow, hail, rain, sleet, etc.

Underground, we have aquifers, groundwater, water tables, etc.

When it’s solid, we have ice, slush, glaciers, icebergs, etc.

These are all off the top of my head. There are so many more.

My point being is something I told you many times before, which is that there are alla these saying that have the air of truth to it, without a hint of actual truth to it.

No real reason for this entry.

Just a general observation.

Speakinga observations, I note that the government’s shut down.

Wonder what that’s all about.

Me: (amused) That’s because the Latin word for apple is “malum,” which is a homonym for their word for “evil.”
Him: Oh…
Me: Look, you can give advice to adults…but you should make sure you’re right first.

Location: shooting Scenic Fights all day at my old gym
Mood: mentally and physically exhausted
Music: Please stick to the rivers and lakes that you’re used to (Spotify)
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Straight outta the blue

Rando drinks around the way

Me: Wait, did that place just say $8 cocktails?
Her: (looking) Yes?
Me: Let’s get ourselves an $8 cocktail!

The Firecracker and I were walking in the hood the other day, past a diner I’ve been to countless times across all these years.

Evidently, they just added a bar, and she and I were heading someplace to drink anywho.

So, we popped in.

Her: Holy cow, this is fresh squeezed orange juice. I’ve never had a Screwdriver with fresh squeezed orange juice.
Me: Really? Me neither – lemme try. (try a sip) Whoa, that’s amazing. Wild what you find in your hood.

But that was just a pit stop, because we really wanted to check out a bar that I’d been to a million times as well, except it had new owners, plus they completely revamped it.

Their fish and chips were pretty good, I gotta say.

Me: I think I’m still hungry.
Her: You’re always still hungry.
Me: Pizza?
Her: We just ate! Plus, I gotta get to [my kid].
Me: Invite him out for a slice of pizza!

Which is exactly what we did.

A few weekends after that, we all headed out to NJ to see my SIL and have the boys swim at her pool.

He’d spent the night at her pad to catch a soccer game – something he was pretty excited about, which explains the main pic of this entry.

In any case, the cab ride we rode there made us laugh.

Afterwards, my SIL drove us to the train station to head home, and we found ourselves in the middle of a street fair, so she dropped us off a touch earlier.

For better or worse, I realized after I stepped outta her whip that she dropped us off right in front of Alison’s old pad.

Wasn’t expecting that so it took my breath away for a moment.

In any case, we ended up walking through the street fair, and the kid walked straight into a concert.

On the one hand, it’s nice having alla these unexpected things that we randomly find at our familiar places, like we did with those drinks.

On the other hand, sometimes jarring to be reminded of a possible past, straight outta the blue.

Me: That was mommy’s old apartment.
Him: Which one?
Me: We walked past it already. It’s fine. I’ll show you someday.

Location: passed out from all the pain meds I’m on
Mood: groggy
Music: We’ll have drinks and talk about things (Spotify)
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Have you ever had mantis shrimp?

That too…

Me: Can I use this picture of you?
Her: What? Why?
Me: Because you look so ridiculous, I wanna put it up.
Her: What? You don’t think I look cute there?
Me: Well, sure, that too…

If you managed to hack into my social media feed, you would find the following types of videos being shown:

    • Videos about food
    • Videos about fighting
    • Videos about wild boar hunting (don’t ask)
    • Videos about mantis shrimp

For the last one, if you don’t know, the mantis shrimp has one of the most powerful punches on the planet, despite their diminutive size.

They can punch with the speed of a 22-caliber bullet and regularly smash aquariums.

Warning, kinda graphic.

Anywho, imagine my surprise when the Surgeon wrote me outta the blue.

Surgeon: I just saw mantis shrimp at a market in sunset park. Haven’t seen those since Vietnam.
Steel: Buy a ton of them and I’ll swing by tomorrow to cook them.
Surgeon: I got six pounds. Those dudes looked at me like I walked out of a UFO. (I’m regularly the only white guy in all of sunset park.)
Me: (laughing)

So, this past weekend, we all went to the Surgeon’s pad and had some.

Steel made a killer herbed butter to cook them…

…and then they prepped them…

…while I held down the rum-drinking portion of things.

They say that it tastes like a mix between shrimp and lobster.

I’d agree with that BUT I feel the texture is a bit softer, which I find slightly off putting but is otherwise, delicious (I prob just need to get used to it).

Afterward, we had some dessert before heading back home.

Unfortunately, there was an uninvited guest on the platform of our train.

Her: Rat aside, tonight was fun.
Me: They’re always a good time. Man, I had a lotta rum.
Her: At least it wasn’t mezcal.
Me: Ugh. Yeah…

Location: home, figuring out middle school stuff…
Mood: overwhelmed
Music: guessing that’s real good news (Spotify)
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